Archive

Poetry Corner | Issue 10

Posted 3:06pm Sunday 7th May 2017 by Jess TC

Saturday and I am done, No more, sweet children, No more fun.   I dry my sheets, and make my bed —the Diesels have lost their power— Kettle’s boiled, Netflix instead, And then I’ll read for an hour. Ready for an early rise, My heavy head drops Read more...

Vapourium Presents Science Tank | Issue 10

Posted 3:01pm Sunday 7th May 2017 by Wee Doubt

Jonas Salk was an American medical researcher and virologist. He discovered and developed one of the first successful polio vaccines, released in 1955. Salk then announced he would not patent the vaccine. When asked about it, Salk said, "Could you patent the sun?" He believed that public Read more...

ODT Watch | Issue 10

Posted 2:57pm Sunday 7th May 2017 by Charlie O’Mannin

To start this week the ODT has a story about a time travelling child who was also inexplicably drafted into the armed services. Either that or the ODT just made a characteristically insensitive ‘veteran’ pun.   It says a lot about sheep breeding as a talent that the Read more...

You Should Drink Bavaria This Weekend

Posted 2:46pm Sunday 7th May 2017 by Swilliam Shakesbeer

I had splurged on a couple of unnecessary expenses this week, like an optometrist appointment and some vegetables, so I was feeling pretty skint when it came to the old moolah department. So it truly lifted my heart when I saw that New World was looking out for me with a $19.99 12-pack club card Read more...

Editorial | Issue 10

Posted 10:36am Sunday 7th May 2017 by Lucy Hunter

This week Critic has a bit of a music theme going on. We bring you hot scoops from Feastock, a Kiwi’s take on Coachella featuring a delicious cheese sandwich, a rock dog floating on a tiny raft in the Dunedin harbour, and a review of opera singer Jonathan Fa'afetai Lemalu at the Town Hall. Read more...

Vitalogy | Issue 9

Posted 1:54pm Sunday 30th April 2017 by Prof's Wood & Ruddock

The character of persons is sometimes indicated by the colour of the hair.  The bilious temperament, black hair and dark skin are generally found associated. These indicate strength of character and sensuality.  Fine hair and dark skin show purity, goodness and strong Read more...

Hi From Granddad

Posted 1:42pm Sunday 30th April 2017 by Mat Clarkson

Words by Mat Clarkso, art by Saskia Rushton-Green Hello! It is your Granddad here! Just dropping you a line to let you know how we are getting on at home! First, a little family news. Grandma has gone to visit her sister in Taupo, as you know I cannot stand that woman ever since she pointed out Read more...

Cookin' Up Love | Issue 9

Posted 1:34pm Sunday 30th April 2017 by Lovebirds

Each week, we lure two singletons to The Captain Cook Hotel, give them food and drink, then wait for their reports to arrive in our inbox. If this sounds like you, email critic@critic.co.nz. But be warned--if you dine on the free food and dash without sending us a writeup, a Critic writer will Read more...

Who Doesn't Love a Shandy?

Posted 1:27pm Sunday 30th April 2017 by Swilliam Shakesbeer

Imagine you’re on your third day of a bender, the hardest of the lot, the simple thought of starting to drink again is stifling while you lie in bed hoping death comes shortly. The strongest willed of the group are starting to get back on the horse as the sun beats through your curtains Read more...

Vapourium Presents Science Tank | Issue 9

Posted 1:20pm Sunday 30th April 2017 by Ben Cravens

Ask anyone and they’ll be happy to tell your their opinion on healthcare or immigration. This makes sense because most of the time arguments can be made for both sides of any policy issue. However, lately there has been an alarming trend of established truths being heckled by the Read more...

The Hell Hole | Issue 9

Posted 1:14pm Sunday 30th April 2017 by Jessica Thompson Carr

Hannah and I had stayed there once on a school trip. You know, the night at the museum thing they do where you go into a tent and learn about astronomy and then they tuck you up in your sleeping bag and tell you spooky stories about the one mummy they have downstairs. So we decided to reminisce and Read more...

Ethel & Hyde | Issue 9

Posted 1:06pm Sunday 30th April 2017 by Student Support

Ethel & Hyde: A call for questions from our good and evil agony aunts. If you want to sort out your problems and/or make them worse, you should write to ethelandhyde@ousa.org.nz Ethel says: All you wee buttons out there having some problems should write in to me for some practical Read more...

David Clark | Issue 9

Posted 11:27am Sunday 30th April 2017 by David Clark

I hear from those who have been about the university for some time that anxiety and stress related illnesses are becoming more prevalent. The reasons for this are complex, though the growing expectations placed on young people likely play a part.  Just about everyone I speak with knows Read more...

ODT Watch | Issue 9

Posted 11:11am Sunday 30th April 2017 by Charlie O’Mannin

To start this week, the ODT have decided, once again, to hedge their bets. Poor agnostics   Next, the ODT presents their latest champion of justice  Wool has spent the last decade learning martial arts in a remote mountain cave   A throwback to the golden age Read more...

Editorial | Issue 9

Posted 10:23am Sunday 30th April 2017 by Lucy Hunter

This week’s Critic includes a couple of features on mental health in Dunedin. When visiting Youthline Otago we were struck by the modesty of the operation—we sat in a small room with a second-hand table and two mismatched chairs. In the corner was a beanbag, on the walls, posters for the Read more...

The Hell Hole | Issue 8

Posted 2:57pm Sunday 23rd April 2017 by Mat Clarkson

Juliet was in the market for a new bicycle. She had dreamed of riding a shiny red bike to work, one with a basket on the front and mud flaps to keep her dry. But all she saw in the sports stores were mountain bikes and racers built for men in minuscule pants. Bemused, she entered a second-hand shop Read more...

Freak Shake

Posted 2:51pm Sunday 23rd April 2017 by Mel Ansell

Words Mel Ansell, illustration Saskia Rushton-Green   OMG! If you haven’t heard of freakshakes before, come out from beneath your rock and smell the social media, darling! These are the most delectable sweet treats and they have the bonus of being ever-so-instagramable. A freak Read more...

Cookin' Up Love | Issue 8

Posted 2:47pm Sunday 23rd April 2017 by Lovebirds

Each week, we lure two singletons to The Captain Cook Hotel, give them food and drink, then wait for their reports to arrive in our inbox. If this sounds like you, email critic@critic.co.nz. But be warned--if you dine on the free food and dash without sending us a writeup, a Critic writer will Read more...

Vitalogy | Issue 8

Posted 2:43pm Sunday 23rd April 2017 by Prof's Wood & Ruddock

Latest method of curing baldness, and preventing hair from falling out The causes of baldness are plain: excessive action of the brain, such as intense study, great mental anxiety, etc., producing unnatural heat of the brain-surfaces, thus causing the hair to drop off.  People are often Read more...

Ethel & Hyde | Issue 8

Posted 2:40pm Sunday 23rd April 2017 by Student Support

Hi, I got a cold a few weeks ago and it won’t go away. Just when I think it is getting better it comes back again. The doctor told me it might be because of the mould in my house, which started growing after that big hailstorm at the start of semester. Is there anything I can do about the Read more...

Critic Booze Reviews | Issue 8

Posted 2:35pm Sunday 23rd April 2017 by Swilliam Shakesbeer

Holy fucking shit this stuff is a gamechanger. Banrock Station has taken some mediocre rose, mixed it with delicious juice and a whole bunch of sugar and produced the most scullable wine product on the market (seriously, the label says ‘wine product’, as if they can’t legally call Read more...

Voices from Beyond the Grad | Issue 8

Posted 2:30pm Sunday 23rd April 2017 by Helen Heath

Come on body, move, I think to myself as I roll over onto my back and stare up at the white tent that encases my little world. Out of the corner of my eye Thai archaeologists and workers climb the wooden ladder out of our 4.5m deep pit. It is the final days of excavating, and saying that I am tired Read more...

Vapourium Presents Science Tank | Issue 8

Posted 2:27pm Sunday 23rd April 2017 by Alexander Woolrych

In India only 4% of the resident 500 million cows are destined to be consumed by humans as India’s major religion, Hinduism, holds cows sacred. Instead, when a cow dies it is left to be eaten by vultures. Vultures in India are thus dependent on human activity and play a massive role in the Read more...

David Clark | Issue 8

Posted 11:41am Sunday 23rd April 2017 by David Clark

To keep my finger on the pulse of goings on in Dunedin North, I like to visit local businesses regularly. Some of my favourites of late have been in the tech space. Animation Research and Tussock Innovation in the CBD, RocketWerkz down by the wharf, and Runaway over at NHNZ are all established Read more...

ODT Watch | Issue 8

Posted 11:15am Sunday 23rd April 2017 by Charlie O’Mannin

They march out of the dramatic mist, the team that will save us. Dripping with heroism, they strike a pose, ready to confront the forces of evil.   Next, we head to the toxic swamp that is the column section. Yeah, that message about how shit it was that the Pope was giving out Read more...

Editorial | Issue 8

Posted 10:29am Sunday 23rd April 2017 by Lucy Hunter

Around half the emails I get are from people wanting to do the Cookin’ Up Love blind date. That’s cool, but seriously, guys, you can do a whole lot of great things for Critic that don’t involve ogling a stranger over a table.  We’re a quarter of the way through the Read more...

Vitalogy | Issue 7

Posted 1:55pm Sunday 9th April 2017 by Prof's Wood & Ruddock

Apart from disease, sleeplessness may arise from an overloaded stomach, over-excitement, or cold feet. Treatment - How to sleep is to many persons a matter of high importance. Nervous persons, who are troubled with wakefulness, usually have a strong tendency of blood to the brain, with cold Read more...

The Hell Hole | Issue 7

Posted 1:50pm Sunday 9th April 2017 by Joel MacManus

“Yeah, Accounting isn’t really what I want to do, but it’s a decent fall-back. I dunno, I guess I just wanna open myself up for opportunities, y’know… are you still paying attention, Tony?”  Oh shit, I missed half of that. Some bullshit about her degree. Read more...

Ethel & Hyde | Issue 7

Posted 1:47pm Sunday 9th April 2017 by Student Support

We had an epic party but the council noise control came and took our speakers away, then they came back 2 more times and took away a laptop, then our amplifier. They are trying to make us pay 3 fines to get our stuff back. And we have to pay a separate fine to the Proctor’s office as well. Is Read more...

If You’re Looking to Get Fucked up and Start a Fight with a Lamppost, Billy Mavs Are the Way to Go.

Posted 1:43pm Sunday 9th April 2017 by Swilliam Shakesbeer

If that douchebag that dropped out of your high school in year 11, wears a Monster Energy trucker cap everywhere, has ‘tribal’ tattoos despite being whiter than John Key in a snowstorm, and whose Facebook profile picture is a lowered Hilux, were an alcoholic drink, he would be a Billy Read more...

Cookin' Up Love | Issue 7

Posted 1:38pm Sunday 9th April 2017 by Lovebirds

Each week, we lure two singletons to The Captain Cook Hotel, give them food and drink, then wait for their reports to arrive in our inbox. If this sounds like you, email critic@critic.co.nz. But be warned--if you dine on the free food and dash without sending us a writeup, a Critic writer will Read more...

Vapourium Presents Science Tank | Issue 7

Posted 1:31pm Sunday 9th April 2017 by Ben Cravens

Flat Earthers believe that the world is flat, not spherical, and that the entirety of the scientific community, NASA, and the Government are hiding the truth. Yes, I know it seems ridiculous, but people all around the globe really believe this. However, maybe we’re being biased. Let’s Read more...

Voices from Beyond the Grad | Issue 7

Posted 1:25pm Sunday 9th April 2017 by Kirio Birks

A new study by a team of international researchers claims that approximately 50 percent of PhD students suffer from mental health problems, ranging from chronic anxiety to clinical depression. This seems to be news to just about everybody except for postgrads. Even the new kids on the block are Read more...

ODT Watch | Issue 7

Posted 11:57am Sunday 9th April 2017 by Charlie O’Mannin

Perpetually stuck for content, the ODT has sunk to reporting on people just continuing to exist   Over the coming years they intend to gradually report on everyone else who also continues to exist. The initiative is predicted to go down well in Patearoa, where the majority of residents Read more...

David Clark | Issue 7

Posted 11:17am Sunday 9th April 2017 by David Clark

The river most important to you is probably your local one. You may have grown up swimming in it, or you may have enjoyed a cheeky spot of fishing there. For Māori, awa form an important part of cultural heritage – they sustain communities.  As Kiwis, I believe it is our birth Read more...

Editorial | Issue 7

Posted 10:39am Sunday 9th April 2017 by Joe Higham

This year I was, perhaps naively, beginning to see a glimmer of hope in student politics that I thought could begin to eclipse the division and impotence that embedded itself in last year’s elected ten as the year progressed. The cohesion was almost unnerving having been accustomed to such Read more...

The Hell Hole | Issue 6

Posted 2:42pm Sunday 2nd April 2017 by Mat Clarkson

Zack became a Zombie during the first global outbreak when he was thirteen, and was now twenty-six. Those who were infected had since been rehabilitated, but their bodies never fully recovered. The Z-word was considered offensive from then on. One day Zack was eating alone in the park by the Read more...

Ethel & Hyde | Issue 6

Posted 2:36pm Sunday 2nd April 2017 by Student Support

Dear Ethyl and Hyde,  I’ve just been diagnosed with Celiac Disease but I can’t afford gluten free food. - Rice Cake   Ethel and Hyde is brought to you by the Student Support Centre. They advise you to take Ethel’s advice. Send your questions Read more...

Double Brown is Criminally Under-Rated

Posted 2:29pm Sunday 2nd April 2017 by Swilliam Shakesbeer

Double Brown is a naturally fermented bitter beer with distinctive malty character. The DoBro has achieved near-legendary status among the proudly impoverished lower class.  With its reputation preceding it, it’s easy to forget what to expect from a can of the big red. I opened my Read more...

Vitalogy | Issue 6

Posted 2:26pm Sunday 2nd April 2017 by Prof's Wood & Ruddock

This affection generally occurs in females between the ages of twelve and forty-five, and it is more frequent at menstrual periods than at other times.  Causes - The present cruel method of bringing up young ladies favours the development of the disease by rendering the whole system delicate Read more...

Cookin' Up Love | Issue 6

Posted 2:16pm Sunday 2nd April 2017 by Lovebirds

Each week, we lure two singletons to The Captain Cook Hotel, give them food and drink, then wait for their reports to arrive in our inbox. If this sounds like you, email critic@critic.co.nz. But be warned--if you dine on the free food and dash without sending us a writeup, a Critic writer will Read more...

Economics Everywhere | Issue 6

Posted 2:11pm Sunday 2nd April 2017 by Wee Doubt

Elliot Castro was a telemarketer who dreamed of better things. He told journalist Jon Ronson that he “always wanted to be better.” He discovered while working his loathed job cold-calling strangers that he could tell the person on the phone that their card had been referred to the credit Read more...

Science Bitches | Issue 6

Posted 2:08pm Sunday 2nd April 2017 by Ben Cravens

Whether it’s from tea, coffee, energy drinks, or a square of chocolate, just about everyone gets their morning pick me up from caffeine. But caffeine isn’t entirely benign. I missed my morning coffee today and already feel a host of the normal withdrawal symptoms that go along with Read more...

Anei a Ngāti Scarfie

Posted 1:58pm Sunday 2nd April 2017 by Pororangi Templeton

Kia ora koutou katoa,  We are Te Roopū Māori (TRM), your Māori student voice on campus. We started off the uni year in Ngāti Scarfie style. Wiki-O was a chance for our first year tauira to initiate themselves into our campus whānau. Our events included lazer tag, Read more...

ODT Watch | Issue 6

Posted 11:22am Sunday 2nd April 2017 by Charlie O’Mannin

This week the ODT’s sensationalist fear-mongering is running strong. We at ODT Watch are highly anticipating the chlorinated staplers, rubber bands, rulers and paper clips that “all supplies” surely includes. However, it could be that the ODT are just pre-empting the Read more...

David Clark | Issue 6

Posted 11:07am Sunday 2nd April 2017 by David Clark

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Voices from Beyond the Grad | Issue 6

Posted 10:59am Sunday 2nd April 2017 by Critic

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Editorial | Issue 6

Posted 10:22am Sunday 2nd April 2017 by Joe Higham

This week is Diversity Week, an annual event aimed at raising the awareness and visibility of sexuality and gender diversity. One of the features we have in this issue, written by Kyra Gillies, is called ‘Think Pink: a 101 of Pinkwashing in New Zealand’ and delves into the corporate Read more...

Ethel & Hyde | Issue 5

Posted 2:34pm Sunday 26th March 2017 by Student Support

Dear Ethyl and Hyde,  My lab partner is a fucking dumbass and keeps interrupting me during my calculations etc. to ask questions. It messes up my train of thought and as a result I’m not getting stuff cemented mentally. How can I get them to stfu? Disclaimer: Student Support advises Read more...

In Memoriam: Honoring our favorite shitty drinks of years gone by

Posted 2:29pm Sunday 26th March 2017 by Swilliam Shakesbeer

Cindy’s Cindy’s burst onto the scene with the aggressive enthusiasm of a fresher whose parents didn’t let them drink in high school. Orange Cindy’s changed the game with its Fanta flavored ethanol, allowing even the pickiest drinker to get blotto with ease. Then we had Read more...

The Hell Hole | Issue 5

Posted 2:14pm Sunday 26th March 2017 by Chelle Fitzgerald

As a single person of the female persuasion, I decided to give this whole Tinder thing a whirl. The whole thing started out somewhat innocently; I naively thought that it would be the best place to meet other single people, and so, armed with some deceptive pseudo-attractively “well-lit” Read more...

Cookin' Up Love | Issue 5

Posted 2:10pm Sunday 26th March 2017 by Lovebirds

Each week, we lure two singletons to The Captain Cook Hotel, give them food and drink, then wait for their reports to arrive in our inbox. If this sounds like you, email critic@critic.co.nz. But be warned--if you dine on the free food and dash without sending us a writeup, a Critic writer will Read more...

Economics Everywhere | Issue 5

Posted 2:05pm Sunday 26th March 2017 by Wee Doubt

Do you ever order what turns out to be way too much food at a restaurant, and then eat it all anyway to “get your money’s worth?” As well as greed, you’ve fallen victim to the sunk-cost fallacy. You paid good money for the meal, and you don’t want to “waste” Read more...

Science Bitches | Issue 4

Posted 2:02pm Sunday 26th March 2017 by Ben Cravens

When most people think of bees, they think of the adorable insects that give us honey. However, they’re much more than that. Our future is inextricably linked with theirs. Close to a third of America’s food supply requires honeybee pollination. But, since 2007, bees have been Read more...

Vitalogy | Issue 5

Posted 1:58pm Sunday 26th March 2017 by Prof's Wood & Ruddock

I have faith that the young gentlemen of Otago University are too intelligent to indulge in the evils of self-pollution (masturbation). However, without careful vigilance, a boisterous lifestyle and impure thoughts, even without action, can lead to night-time ejaculations that will drain the vital Read more...

ODT Watch | Issue 5

Posted 11:22am Sunday 26th March 2017 by Charlie O’Mannin

This week the ODT is reporting on mysteries from beyond the realm of life and death. We at ODT Watch thought that the mystery was done and dusted when the ghost roses rose from the dead, but apparently that was merely the beginning.   Moving further into the surreal paranoid Read more...

David Clark | Issue 5

Posted 11:12am Sunday 26th March 2017 by David Clark

It’s no secret that I’m excited about the election later this year. I really enjoy campaigning, and going into this year’s election Labour is rearing to go and fighting fit. We’ve got a rejuvenated team, and a set of policies that will make important investments in our Read more...

Voices from Beyond the Grad | Issue 5

Posted 11:10am Sunday 26th March 2017 by Claire Macindoe

The legend of the discovery of penicillin is one that is familiar in modern history. Alexander Fleming, a man not known for his cleanliness, leaves a petri dish unwashed for a couple of weeks – much like your flatmate’s dishes – and discovers a mould with mystical Read more...

Editorial | Issue 5

Posted 10:37am Sunday 26th March 2017 by Lucy Hunter

Two of our features this week deal with issues of paranoia, and how easy it is to write it off as “crackpot” behaviour. Think about doomsday preppers and you’re likely picturing a guy who lives in a buried caravan with his 900 guns, 4,000 bottles of whiskey, and pet pig. Mention Read more...

Cookin' Up Love | Issue 4

Posted 3:04pm Sunday 19th March 2017 by Lovebirds

Each week, we lure two singletons to The Captain Cook Hotel, give them food and drink, then wait for their reports to arrive in our inbox. If this sounds like you, email critic@critic.co.nz. But be warned--if you dine on the free food and dash without sending us a writeup, a Critic writer will Read more...

Ethel & Hyde | Issue 4

Posted 3:00pm Sunday 19th March 2017 by Student Support

Our bastard landlord from last year chucked out all our stored furniture, even though the new tenants had said it was sweet with them. We didn’t even leave it in the house but had made a massive effort and put it all really neatly in the shed outside. When we came back to get it the week Read more...

The Moths

Posted 2:55pm Sunday 19th March 2017 by Charlie O’Mannin

One day the moths became people. Sheds and undergrowth and houses were suddenly jammed with limbs and heads and bodies. Cocoons popped, disgorging viscous fluid filled with half formed ears and teeth. Dusty corpses filled the windowsills, blocking out the light like mummified curtains. Many Read more...

Vitalogy | Issue 4

Posted 2:50pm Sunday 19th March 2017 by Prof's Wood & Ruddock

This is an inflammation of the urethra, or external urinary passage, and is generally occasioned by an impure connection; although a disease of a similar character may arise from having connection with a healthy woman during menstruation; and it is sometimes produced by leucorrhea (discharge) in the Read more...

Ray in Dunedin

Posted 2:42pm Sunday 19th March 2017 by Radhika Raghav

“What! Satyajit Ray in Dunedin!” was my reaction when Prof. Radner, my thesis advisor, told me about a film society that was screening three restored versions of Ray’s films. I was new to Dunedin and the first couple of months in the city, on a philosophical level, offered me a Read more...

What if the University of Otago didn’t exist?

Posted 2:36pm Sunday 19th March 2017 by Danni Pintacasi

Dunedin. Population: 127,500. Number of university students: 20,000. It’s fair to say that students make up a sizable chunk of the Dunedin population. The University brings in young adults from near and far, and with them their money. Let’s face it; McDonalds wouldn’t nearly be as Read more...

ODT Watch | Issue 4

Posted 11:11am Sunday 19th March 2017 by Charlie O’Mannin

ODT Watch has been contacted by humans (unusual for us) asking whether we doctor the ODT’s headlines to make them funnier. We would like to formally deny this slander. The ODT is funny enough without having to change a thing. Case in point: What followed was a whimsical tale of an Read more...

Health in All Things

Posted 10:56am Sunday 19th March 2017 by David Clark

Every New Zealander deserves access to quality  affordable healthcare, but access is not as affordable as it once was. Last year more than 500,000 people reported cost as a major factor preventing them visiting their GP when they were ill. I recently succeeded Labour’s Annette King as Read more...

Editorial | Issue 4

Posted 10:13am Sunday 19th March 2017 by Lucy Hunter

We’ve all been there. You walk into a function in your assless rubber pants with a ball-gag in your mouth, slathered in mayonnaise and holding a bunch of torpedo beetroot, and everyone else is in smart-casual blouses and slacks. You just can’t relax the whole night. That’s because Read more...

Cookin' Up Love | Issue 3

Posted 3:20pm Sunday 12th March 2017 by Lovebirds

Each week, we lure two singletons to The Captain Cook Hotel, give them food and drink, then wait for their reports to arrive in our inbox. If this sounds like you, email critic@critic.co.nz. But be warned--if you dine on the free food and dash without sending us a writeup, a Critic writer will write Read more...

The Hell Hole | Issue 3

Posted 3:14pm Sunday 12th March 2017 by Jessica Thompson

I was baby-sitting my little sister that afternoon and we decided to go to Discovery World. She loved the giant piano but got pretty bored with everything else so we paid to visit the Butterfly room. There was no one inside. My sister ran off to gawk at the glass boxes containing caterpillars and Read more...

Vitalogy | Issue 3

Posted 3:08pm Sunday 12th March 2017 by Prof's Wood & Ruddock

Asthma is a spasmodic disease, characterised by paroxysms of difficult breathing, with great wheezing, and a dreadful sense of constriction across the chest; each paroxysm terminates by the expectoration of a more or less abundant of mucus. It is now considered a mucus disease dependant upon some Read more...

Ethel & Hyde | Issue 3

Posted 3:01pm Sunday 12th March 2017 by Student Support

Stuck with flatties! I’m a second-year student and it’s my first time flatting. I’m flatting with people from my hall from first-year but I actually fucking hate their guts. They have parties at my house and don’t invite me. I’ve signed a full-year Read more...

Economics Everywhere | Issue 3

Posted 2:48pm Sunday 12th March 2017 by Danni Pintacasi

This is a controversial statement to make at a university. For a long time I saw education as a human right, something that should be universally accessible to all those seeking it. Sure, it might be a drag on the taxpayer, but investing in educating a population helps keeps the populous politicians Read more...

Booze Review: A Diesel Yardie

Posted 2:45pm Sunday 12th March 2017 by Swilliam Shakesbeer

Diesel is a foul, horrific, gross, horrendous, revolting, evil, nasty, blasphemous, putrid offense to the senses and all sense of moral righteousness. Whoever invented it has done more damage to New Zealand than the Christchurch Earthquake and Max Key’s musical career combined. It’s no Read more...

Science Bitches | Issue 3

Posted 2:37pm Sunday 12th March 2017 by Wee Doubt

A placebo is anything that seems to be a “real” medical treatment, but isn’t. It could be a pill, a shot, a spell, a potion; anything a person is told will make them feel better. What all placebos have in common is that they do not contain an active substance that demonstrably Read more...

Whānau Fit

Posted 2:31pm Sunday 12th March 2017 by Terina Raureti

Kia Ora whānau! Ko Terina Raureti tōku ingoa, ko Ngāti Raukawa tōku iwi, nō Otaki ahau. I started my postgrad journey last year when I discovered my passion in Māori Physical Education and Health and working within our Māori communities. To be honest, when I Read more...

Why a hospital rebuild matters to students

Posted 12:12pm Sunday 12th March 2017 by David Clark

Even though today it is agreed across the political spectrum that our hospital desperately needs updating, the timeframe for a rebuild keeps getting dragged out, and some argue that the new buildings may deliver fewer services than they currently do. My position is simple: Dunedin requires a Read more...

ODT Watch | Issue 3

Posted 11:52am Sunday 12th March 2017 by Charlie O’Mannin

This week the ODT has finally done it. They’ve run out of content completely. Over the next couple of weeks they plan to see how many different kinds of feathers they can lodge in different locations.   We seem to have an infestation of Australian Read more...

Editorial | Issue 3

Posted 11:19am Sunday 12th March 2017 by Lucy Hunter

Last week an advert appeared in The Star newspaper promoting Don Brash’s new political movement “Hobson’s Pledge”. In it, the group calls for politicians to stop giving “extra rights for those who arrived here first,” “favourable treatment based on Read more...

Cookin' Up Love | Issue 2

Posted 6:18pm Wednesday 8th March 2017 by Lovebirds

Short I came with low hopes and I thought wow he's actually alg looking, but then at the end of the day we were better suited as friends. His flat were sitting there, which I found weird, but each to their own. Good conversation, but no further I don't think! Ah well. Sweet On the Read more...

The Hell Hole | Issue 2

Posted 2:18pm Sunday 5th March 2017 by Fanny Clive-Trevor

Sarah had spent years trying to remove the hair on her legs, but the hairs fought back. If she shaved, she’d only graze herself and wreck the blades. If she waxed, the hair would rip out in agonising patches, then her skin would become puckered and pimpled. Lasers glanced off them; depilatory Read more...

Vitalogy | Issue 2

Posted 2:12pm Sunday 5th March 2017 by Prof's Wood & Ruddock

Deadly snakes are generally distinguishable by the thinness of the neck, immediately behind the head, and by their having only two teeth in the upper jaw. Kerosene oil is a never failing remedy for the cure of the bite of snakes and all other poisonous reptiles. Bind cloth wet with kerosene on Read more...

Ethel & Hyde | Issue 2

Posted 2:06pm Sunday 5th March 2017 by Student Support

Help me, I have a mad boner for my lecturer. Should I make a move on that? Is this legal? Help. Frustrated Disclaimer: Student Support advises you to take Ethel’s advice. Send your questions to: ethelandhyde@ousa.org.nz   Ethel says: Oh dear, that sounds Read more...

Economics Everywhere | Issue 2

Posted 1:56pm Sunday 5th March 2017 by Danni Pintacasi

There’s no such thing as a free lunch. However, the internet is an all you can eat buffet of free lunches, provided you can put up with the ads. Enter adblock stage left. Adblock creates the ultimate user experience; everything is free and all the intrusive pop-ups are gone. But eventually, Read more...

Flamé Is the Perfect Drink, the Beer We Were Put on This Earth to Create

Posted 1:51pm Sunday 5th March 2017 by Swilliam Shakesbeer

Flame (pronounced Flamé) is an imported French beer, brewed by Trappist monks at a hidden monastery near the peak of the Pyrenees alps, since the early 1300s. Legend has it that the true recipe has never been written down, instead it is passed by oral tradition from master to apprentice. Read more...

Post-Grad & Broke

Posted 1:44pm Sunday 5th March 2017 by Philosophy of Zane

Hey Otago Ew-ni, We have a bone to pick with you. We need to talk about how “full” scholarships do not, in fact, cover the costs required to be a student.  What is the purpose of a scholarship? To us, it is meant to allow someone to complete their studies, while not allowing Read more...

Science Bitches | Issue 2

Posted 1:34pm Sunday 5th March 2017 by Ben Cravens

Recent data, gathered by NASA’s Kepler spacecraft, indicates that up to 40 billion habitable planets may exist in our galaxy. Given this abundance of fertile planets, scientific estimates, like the Drake Equation, predict intelligent life should have developed and spread throughout our Read more...

ODT Watch | Issue 2

Posted 11:09am Sunday 5th March 2017 by Charlie O’Mannin

This week, the ODT proved yet again that they will brave nonsensical surrealism in order to make a pop culture reference.   Nothing makes us at ODT Watch more aroused than a nice bit of old fashioned ODT ineptitude. Not only is Dan Hendra not the OUSA president, he is also not Read more...

David Clark | Issue 2

Posted 10:57am Sunday 5th March 2017 by David Clark

There’s a real buzz in Dunedin during Orientation Week. Cafés and bars come alive, the streets fill with people exploring their new home and empty University colleges and flats transform into hubs of activity.  I hope you have created plenty of good memories this O-Week, and Read more...

Editorial | Issue 2

Posted 10:13am Sunday 5th March 2017 by Joe Higham

On Wednesday last week, a small group of protesters gathered to oppose the presence of global finance company Goldman Sachs on campus because of their investment in the Dakota Access Pipeline (see page seven for more information). The group was no larger than fifteen at any given time, and at Read more...

Cookin' Up Love | Issue 1

Posted 2:33pm Sunday 26th February 2017 by Lovebirds

Each week, we lure two singletons to The Captain Cook Hotel, give them food and drink, then wait for their reports to arrive in our inbox. If this sounds like you, email critic@critic.co.nz. But be warned--if you dine on the free food and dash without sending us a writeup, a Critic writer will write Read more...

The Hell Hole | Issue 1

Posted 2:06pm Sunday 26th February 2017 by Jessica Thompson Carr

There is not a more ideal place for a killer to roam than Castle Street, so they told us. I believe it. Ever since that evening the Marsh was evacuated one evening because of a ‘suspicious figure’ wandering the Botans. We thought they meant a gunman.  Of course, the flat doors Read more...

Vitalogy | Issue 1

Posted 1:55pm Sunday 26th February 2017 by Prof's Wood & Ruddock

Young men and women embarking on their education must study, but excessive bookishness will lead to a fever of the brain that will incapacitate the nerves and leave the young person unable to participate in society. Watch for symptoms of brain-fever in your companions in your homestays and in Read more...

Ethel & Hyde | Issue 1

Posted 1:46pm Sunday 26th February 2017 by Student Support

Some kind of bottom dwelling scum loving slug must have lived in the flat I just moved into, cos it is gross. I only saw pictures of it online before I moved in and it looked great.  Now I see it in reality it is smaller, dirtier and older than I was expecting.  There is hair in the shower Read more...

Economics Everywhere | Issue 1

Posted 1:32pm Sunday 26th February 2017 by Danni Pintacasi

Personally, I have never made it to the end of a single game of Monopoly, despite its subtitle being “The Fast-Dealing Property Trading Game.” The evolution of the boardgame is entrenched in irony. In the late 1800s, Elizabeth Magie developed a game that would later evolve into Read more...

Critic Booze Reviews* | Issue 1

Posted 1:26pm Sunday 26th February 2017 by Swilliam Shakesbeer

Understanding the appeal of Canterbury Cream means knowing a little bit about the New Zealand tax code. You see, the Excise Tax, which applies to all alcohol sold in this country, varies greatly based on the alcohol percentage. The tax per litre of pure alcohol on spirits is $51, and for Beer is Read more...

Science | Issue 1

Posted 1:18pm Sunday 26th February 2017 by Shivam Kalhan

How weird would it be if we could relive or access our ancestors’ lives? Or would that just be insanely awesome. For those of you that would find it weird, meet the game series Assassin’s Creed. This game revolves around the main character reliving the lives of his ancestors. He can do Read more...

Interloan Guilt

Posted 1:14pm Sunday 26th February 2017 by Cameron Coombe

Over the course of completing my Masters I saw no need to read everything. If I picked the three most recognised sources on a topic, threw in an obscure reference where I could make one (this guy writing for this non-peer-reviewed undergraduate pre-Internet USSR journal says this, but he’s Read more...

ODT Watch | Issue 1

Posted 11:26am Sunday 26th February 2017 by Charlie O’Mannin

Puns are like opioids; you start using only occasionally with a quality product, but fast you sink into addiction and squalor. The article was about the prime minister shearing a sheep. That’s right, in a five word headline the ODT has managed to include not one, but two insults to the Read more...

David Clark | Issue 1

Posted 11:07am Sunday 26th February 2017 by David Clark

Many people were surprised by the outcome of the US Presidential Election last November. Along with others (including most pollsters in the US) I expected Hillary Clinton to win. Having had the privilege of spending time in the US, I can vouch that our countries are firm friends. New Zealand and Read more...