Ethel & Hyde | Issue 9

Ethel & Hyde | Issue 9

No Problemo Problem!

Ethel & Hyde: A call for questions from our good and evil agony aunts. If you want to sort out your problems and/or make them worse, you should write to

Ethel says:

All you wee buttons out there having some problems should write in to me for some practical advice about solutions and legal ramifications. This could be about issues with your landlord, flat-mates, lab-mates, peers, health, sexuality, relationships, mould, hunger, budgets, hair colour, shoes, body odour, work-load, homesickness, floordrobe, parties, The Cold, the oven, the shower, bad advice from renegades, or anything really. 

There was a wee burst of correspondence at the start of semester, but it seems to have dried up somewhat. I know you are all dreadfully busy, but just a minute of your time could help more than you imagine. I look forward to hearing from you soon. It is all anonymous of course. Just email your problem to me at the address given.

Hyde says:

HELP ME YOU FETID PIECE OF PUTRIFYING PERSONAGE. Oh how I am suffering, trapped in here with my voice silenced because of your perfect lives. Your problems are my only outlet. Imagine being trapped with a crochet wearing, cream puff of a politically correct, handbag wielding bat. SEND IN A PROBLEM, OR I MIGHT DIE! Be assured that my scream will linger in your mind for all eternity, making you wish you had just sent in just one email, with just one problem you heard some other troglodyte of a student talking about in a lecture, or the Link, one of their inane problems, that I will be able to fix with a creative and cunning loaf of brilliance. One measly email, from YOU … yesssss, YOOOOOUUUUU. Do it now. NOW. 


Ethel and Hyde is brought to you by the Student Support Centre. They advise you to take Ethel’s advice.


This article first appeared in Issue 9, 2017.
Posted 1:06pm Sunday 30th April 2017 by Student Support.