Science Tank | Jet Debt

Posted 1:34pm Sunday 8th October 2017 by Chelle Fitzgerald

Jet lag arises due to a disturbance of your body’s internal clock, which drives your circadian rhythms. Known as the suprachiasmatic nucleus, this ‘master clock’ processes light information from your retinas and tells the pineal gland what’s happening, so that it can Read more...

Critic Booze Reviews | Wakachangi

Posted 1:37pm Sunday 8th October 2017 by Swilliam Shakesbeer

‘Wakachangi’ is an amalgamation of the Māori word for canoe and the Georgian word for a 17th century Ottoman harp. The brainchild of one of New Zealand’s greatest New Zealanders, Leigh Hart, this fresh drop goes down easier than the Blackcaps middle order against any Read more...

Editorial | I Can’t E-Van

Posted 10:46am Sunday 8th October 2017 by Lucy Hunter

On Tuesday OUSA President Hugh Baird hosted a competition to give away the old OUSA van to an assiduous student. Thirty students signed up to spend hours standing on the union lawn touching the van. Competitors were allowed two toilet breaks at times of their choosing. They weren’t allowed any Read more...

Inventions Out of Time | Penis

Posted 12:28pm Sunday 8th October 2017 by Charlie O’Mannin

1.5/5 Would not use again. The penis really has very limited function. Where is the “all-purpose tool” I was promised on the packaging? I tried to open a can with the lauded “can-opener” attachment. It took me ages. The attachment was blunt and almost did more damage to Read more...

ODT Watch | Issue 26

Posted 11:27am Sunday 8th October 2017 by Charlie O’Mannin

To start the last issue of ODT Watch for the year we thought we’d give you a great example of one of the ODT’s staples: puns. Yes, it is about two dogs getting married. Props for the rhyme as well.   Clearly drunk off their titular success, the ODT forgot that they did Read more...

Ethel & Hyde | Issue 26

Posted 1:15pm Sunday 8th October 2017 by Student Support

Dear Ethel, I’ve always viewed myself as a straight guy. I’ve had one serious relationship with a girl and a few casual hook-ups. But last weekend I had a few beers with the boys then headed into town. I somehow ended up at a random house party, where I meet this dude who was funny Read more...

Lucky in Love | Toyota Hilux & Mitsubishi Lancer

Posted 1:26pm Sunday 8th October 2017 by Lovebirds

Each week, we lure two singletons to The Bog Irish Bar, give them food and drink, then wait for their reports to arrive in our inbox. If this sounds like you, email: critic@critic.co.nz   Toyota Hilux I never wanted to sign up for this, but I eventually gave in to the constant Read more...

Sage Advice | Fuck! To Political Allegories and Fuck! To McDonald’s / Goodbye Forever

Posted 1:21pm Sunday 8th October 2017 by Mat Clarkson

“Many people have strong views on McDonald’s.” - Steve Easterbrook, CEO of McDonald’s Well, folks. It’s been a rollercoaster. Bringing you advice these past months has been a blast. We’ve had some hits, and more than a few stinkers. We’ve laughed, Read more...

Science Tank | Hear, Hear

Posted 1:07pm Saturday 30th September 2017 by Chelle Fitzgerald

As someone who hosts a weekly radio show, I was initially excited at the prospect of hearing my own voice in recording. I thought I was a pretty amazing radio presenter and that I sounded like milk, honey and cocaine all in one. Boy, how jarring it was to hear my screechy bagpipe of a wheeze Read more...

ODT Watch | Issue 25

Posted 10:11am Saturday 30th September 2017 by Charlie O’Mannin

This week we would like to devote all our space (and most of the Facts and Figures space as well) to addressing the ODT’s cryptic and eye catching post-election image. Interestingly, the ODT decided to avoid any specific reference to Game of Thrones in the picture; presumably to throw Read more...

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