Booze Reviews | Nitro XXX Vodka Guarana Liqueur

Posted 12:31am Saturday 2nd October 2021

Nitro has always been at the forefront of binge-drinking innovation, but this time they have gone too far. Nitro Vodka Guarana Liqueur hits the shelves this week, and it is dangerous. The drink comes in a 500mL spirit bottle, contains large quantities of caffeine and guarana, and is 30% ABV. It Read more...

Corona Extra

Posted 3:48pm Monday 20th September 2021

The first time I ever had a beer, it was a Corona. My dad handed it to me, looked me dead in the eyes and said: “This is a Corona boy. Don’t take your Coronas to a party, son, leave them at home for pre’s.” All my life I heeded his words. Every time I bought Coronas, I Read more...

Booze Reviews | White Wine

Posted 3:47pm Sunday 5th September 2021

Now of course, white wine is a pretty broad category. But there’s a reason I’m not distinguishing sauvignon wanc and presling. There is simply no way I am going to review every slight fucking variation of white wine especially considering that there are hundreds of wineries for each Read more...

Mixer Review

Posted 3:20pm Sunday 22nd August 2021

Mixers are the unsung heroes of alcohol, the pleasure to balance the pain of spirits. Anything can be a mixer if you’re brave enough, but I really did have to narrow down the selection to only the most practical options. Rather than going through every type of soft drink and fruit juice, I Read more...

Booze Reviews | NZ Lager

Posted 2:32am Monday 9th August 2021

NZ lager is without a doubt one of the most reliable drinks in Aotearoa. Like a plank of four by two, a per capita medal tally, and a piece of number eight wire, it represents the robust, old NZ that may still exist but has been obscured by metropolitan ideals. The can is black, the colour of the Read more...

Kingfisher Lager

Posted 5:57pm Sunday 25th July 2021

I consumed Kingfisher after an incredibly dusty Thursday in Re-O Week. As I perused the selection at Leith Liquor, I could think only of the inevitable pain that another box would bring me, and the horrors of Dunedin drinking culture which had led me to this point. I had only tried Kingfisher once Read more...

Greenhill Lime and Elderflower Seltzers

Posted 4:38pm Sunday 18th July 2021

When I consumed the Greenhill Seltzers I was struck by divine inspiration. It all began when I heard a knock on the door late one afternoon. Opening the door there was no one around, but before me lay a baby perched on the doorstep of my flat. Its cradle was illuminated by a ray of golden light that Read more...

Booze Reviews | Vailima 6.7

Posted 8:18pm Sunday 30th May 2021

Feeling drained, literally, by my Fizzliss experience last week, I decided to fortify my strength by returning to my origins: Beer. I went into Henry’s and picked up something called “Vailima.” The name alone intrigued me. Just in time for Samoan language week, I learned that Read more...

Booze Reviews | Fizzliss: Shitting yourself never tasted so good

Posted 12:57am Monday 24th May 2021

Fizzliss have caused a sensation after they were rumoured to cause drinkers to shit themselves after a box. This is apparently a perfect storm due to the high fibre content of the drink and the terrible diets of those that consume them. The good news is that they are delicious, and that there is Read more...

Woodstock Bourbon and Cola Raspberry Edition

Posted 5:10pm Sunday 16th May 2021

Woodstock Raspberry tastes like if a Liquorice Allsort and a rat had a kid. It tastes like a raspberry bun except instead of filling it with jam, they filled with regurgitated Billy Mavs. It tastes like a Razor Scooter to the ankle. It tastes like binge drinking on a dark field when you’re 16. Read more...

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Chug Norris

Not the gross one