Booze Review | Country Medium White Wine is a most exquisite vintage

Booze Review | Country Medium White Wine is a most exquisite vintage

Goon has a reputation as a low tier, last-resort type of potation. But while this scurrilous reputation may hold true for pretentious European attempts at goon (see Chasseur), the New Zealand-made Country Medium White Wine is a cardboardeaux that excels and excites in taste, mouthfeel and, most of all, ingenuity.

Minerality is the first note that hits your palate when you imbibe CMWW. It is subtle but distinctly reminiscent of the sandy beaches and soils which so often characterise our antipodal part of the world. It also stands in contrast to the acidity which later scorches the tongue in an at first excruciating, and then invigorating, assault on one's orifice.

CMWW’s oppressive acidity has been oft-criticised by lesser wine critics as a vile, wretched and sometimes painful characteristic. But it is, in fact, none of those things, and those people are losers. The multi-tonal acidity of CMWW is its most unique feature. 

Behind the aforementioned tongue-scorching, the interplay of the acidic notes is divine. Each one vies with the other in a playful competition for one’s tongue which leaves the CMWW enjoyer stunned by overwhelming sensation at every sip. On the back of the tongue, a metallic taste builds in wonderful contrast to the more front-end acidity. The skilfully crafted interplay of acidic and metallic tones is what transforms CMWW from a mediocre goon-sack into a wine that presents a truly gripping experience in every drop. 

One would expect a masterpiece as fine as CMWW to be beyond the price range of the unwashed masses, but one would be mistaken! A three-litre cask of CMWW accommodates 27.2 standard drinks and retails for 27 dollars. This means that it achieves what, I have been told, some plebeians refer to as ‘the golden ratio.’

In summation, Country Medium White Wine is an exceptional find at such a low price point. It opens with a nostalgic minerality, astonishes with a bold acidic symphony, and finally, it follows through with a smooth metallic finish to create a totally unique and indisputably exquisite vintage. One hell of a drop.

Tasting notes: mineralic, acidic, metallic.
Froth level: Elizabeth's cardiogram.
Tastes like: putting a 9V cell on your tongue.
Overall rating: 9/10 electric nectar.

This article first appeared in Issue 24, 2022.
Posted 2:09pm Saturday 24th September 2022 by Chug Norris.