Ethel & Hyde | Issue 3

Ethel & Hyde | Issue 3

Stuck with flatties!

I’m a second-year student and it’s my first time flatting. I’m flatting with people from my hall from first-year but I actually fucking hate their guts. They have parties at my house and don’t invite me. I’ve signed a full-year lease.

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Ethel says

What a conundrum! There is a way around this. You rightly seem to be aware that abandoning your flat or stopping paying rent is not an option legally. You can tell the flat-mates that you want to move and are looking for someone to take over your lease, they might help you and could know someone keen to move in already. You can advertise your room on, trademe, or the Otago Flatting Goods Facebook group if word of mouth does not work. You must be selective and have the agreement of both the flat-mates and the landlord, who must be reasonable. They cannot say no to everyone to make things difficult for you. Once you’ve found someone, get your name signed off the lease and the new name on, fill in a Bond Transfer Form to transfer your bond to them (the landlord must sign this too). The newbie just pays you the money directly. Good luck, I hope you can find someone soon!

Hyde says

Time to bring those fuckers down. Important supplies to have ready for the next party are: a mask, a plastic full-body suit (rubbish bags will do) and a big bottle of olive oil. Late afternoon of party night, eat as much as possible and drink at least two litres of red juice. When guests start arriving, go into your room, with at least one flatty as witness. Once you hear the party is in full swing, climb out the window in your plastic coverall and mask, with the oil in a wine bottle. Enter through the front door making your way to the hub of the party and neck the bottle of oil in record time. Before long projectile puking will begin, make sure to spin a 360 to get the maximum coverage of guests. This will create a chain vomiting session, leading to a mass exodus. Ditch your suit a block away, climb back in your window, and relish the thought of your flat-mates cleaning up after their party.

This article first appeared in Issue 3, 2017.
Posted 3:01pm Sunday 12th March 2017 by Student Support.