Archive
Go Get Your Bits Wet
Posted 5:33pm Saturday 5th May 2018 by Alex Halifax
I’ve masturbated for as long as I can remember. I honestly cannot think of a start date. I used to lie in bed at night and think I had an addiction. I would swear to myself, every time I slept with my soft toys, I wouldn’t do it. Because there was no way I could possibly subject them to Read more...
Poem
Posted 4:17pm Saturday 5th May 2018 by A.M.
Wednesday’s child grew from the earth fully formed and raw, tiny fingers curled into palms until perfect nails tore away ribbons of skin. she was a beer-drinker’s daughter and another father’s burden and then, layered in sunscreen, he named the mountains and rivers for Read more...
A Close Look at Annemieke Ytsma and Underground Sundae
Posted 2:18am Monday 30th April 2018 by Paul Whiley
DIY jewellery brand, Underground Sundae, which originated right here in Dunedin, produces alternative and stylish pendants, rings, necklaces and earrings. The brand has been developing a cult following over the past few years, and making waves around the world. Transcending beyond mere trinkets, the Read more...
Charlotte Goodyear, Dunedin's ID Fashion Week's first openly trans model
Posted 2:14am Monday 30th April 2018 by Victoria Ransom
Upon first glance, Charlotte Goodyear appears to be your typical model. She’s a tall blonde with big brown eyes who walks with self-confidence. It’s hard to believe that there was once a time when she was very unsure of herself. Charlotte has had to face many obstacles to become the Read more...
Where Does Stew End and Curry Begin?
Posted 8:11pm Thursday 19th April 2018 by Gordon Oliver
When you reach a certain age you begin to ponder the deeper, more meaningful questions in life. If you have some semblance of intelligence you will be able to work out what question I will be discussing from the title. Encyclopedia Britannica defines stew as a “dish of meat, poultry, Read more...
Sexy Garfield: The Gift That Keeps On Giving
Posted 11:36pm Thursday 12th April 2018 by Critic
Hi Critic, in light of the recent light shined on the Sexy Garfield piece, I think it's time to come clean. Last year my friends and I nabbed 140 Critics from around Uni and covered my friend’s (now flatmate’s) room with them. He was out at football, and came back to a sexy pink Read more...
Introducing Paul Williams: Guy Williams’ Young, Better Brother
Posted 10:52pm Thursday 12th April 2018 by Joel MacManus
“I wrote this song on some software that I stole when I was 17 I thought that it might get me somewhere I'm still nowhere and I'm 23” Paul Williams isn’t a household name yet. Maybe he will be soon, but for now all you need to know is that he’s Guy Read more...
Indi: Life After Doprah
Posted 10:42pm Thursday 12th April 2018 by Jessica Thompson
Stumbling into the bathroom of the Cook a few weeks ago, I encountered a small woman dressed artistically in shreds of white material, holding a crown. It was like a scene from a dream, and I was prepared for her to say something incredibly prophetic to me, when I realised it was Indi, the performer Read more...
Fuck Little Dicky
Posted 10:15pm Thursday 12th April 2018 by Callum Doyle
That is all. But seriously, Lil Dicky is one of the worst things to happen to hip hop since Vanilla Ice, and at least Vanilla Ice got hung out of a balcony by his ankles, which, let’s be honest, he absolutely deserved. If you’re lucky, right now you’ll be thinking, who is Lil Read more...
Dick and Jane Get Busy
Posted 10:13pm Thursday 12th April 2018 by Lyndon
Editor’s Note: This poem was originally published in Critic in the year of the Lord AD 2002. The notable thing about 2002 (apart from the release of The Wild Thornberrys Movie) is that the Critic Editor that year was Patrick Crewdson, who is now the Editor-in-Chief of Stuff. He is a real Read more...
Report: Most Snapchat Groups Are Just Hungover Dudes Talking About How Hungover They Are
Posted 5:39pm Saturday 7th April 2018 by A Scarfie
According to figures released by Snap Inc, upwards of 80% of male Snapchat group conversations are just dudes lying in bed dying of alcohol poisoning the night after they all got drunk together. Among the most common captions were “one massive pile of dust,” “fuck that was a big Read more...
The Man Behind the Mural
Posted 10:26pm Thursday 5th April 2018 by Waveney Russ
Artist Tyler Kennedy Stent had the privilege of becoming the ODT flavour of the week, as criticism regarding the appropriate distribution of taxpayer funds to pay for an Ed Sheeran memorial absorbed front page headlines. The mural, immortalising the pop star’s visit to the city during the Read more...
The Shambles: Our Energy Is Not Manufactured
Posted 10:24pm Thursday 5th April 2018 by Esme Hall
Ask The Shambles “how was your summer?” and whatever you did will be put to shame. From December to February the Dunedin-grown band road-tripped the length of the country, rocking the socks off audiences and accepting gifts of corn as they went. Critic caught up with front man Max Gunn a Read more...
Video Game Review: Tinder
Posted 10:23pm Thursday 5th April 2018 by Lisa Blakie
I don’t like Tinder very much because I’m a sensitive baby. I’ve dabbled, but mostly found it an uncomfortable experience. Something about the instant chatting making you reveal more about yourself to hold the other person’s attention, mixed with putting the best version of Read more...
Critic interviews Dizzee Rascal
Posted 9:32pm Thursday 22nd March 2018 by Jamie Green
UK Hip Hop superstar Dizzee Rascal arrived on New Zealand’s shores in February for Splore festial in Tapapakane Park, Orere Point. Jamie Green caught up with him before the show. What are your greatest memories of NZ? Just really positive people that really know the music Read more...
Video Game Review: Getting Over It, With Bennett Foddy
Posted 9:28pm Thursday 22nd March 2018 by Campbell Calverley
Rating: 🤔 / 5 “Why are you bothering to play this game?” Geoffrey the gaming gorilla said to me. “Isn’t it obvious that – especially for a game that has exclusively stolen assets – you’re not supposed to want to play this? Is irony completely Read more...
Sitting with Christian Tucker - Dunedin’s answer to Chance the Rapper
Posted 9:12pm Thursday 22nd March 2018 by Zoe Taptiklis
Christian Tucker is Dunedin’s answer to Chance the Rapper. That may seem like a radical claim, but the production quality, the lyrics and the performance on Tucker’s new album “Intro to Orange” leaves little to be asked for. The local poet performs weekly at the Dog With Two Read more...
Women You Should Know | Sor Juana Inés de la Cruz
Posted 10:46pm Thursday 15th March 2018 by Jessica Thompson
So a few months ago my flatmate started watching this mini-series on Netflix called “Juana Inés,” about a badass babe from San Miguel Nepantia, New Spain, with a serious flair for poetry and a habit for calling misogynistic men OUT. Imagine my glee when I turned to Google and Read more...
Top Ten Tinder Tips for Tenacious Titillation
Posted 10:37pm Thursday 15th March 2018 by
As a certified Tinder veteran, you better believe I have some stories. What’s better than some unwarranted advice? Take it from me, because I certainly wish someone had given me this list when I was a Tinder novice. Follow these tried and tested tips and soon you may hit the jackpot and get Read more...
Pole Dancing: Like Dancing, but on a Pole
Posted 9:49pm Thursday 15th March 2018 by Joel MacManus
“You guys are sissies. I guess that’s why guys don’t give birth.” Valerie from “Pole With Val” pole dancing studio has no pity for our complaints of skin burn. “Sometimes it burns, but that’s life.” Val is a postgraduate student who has been Read more...
L.A.B – The New Kings of Kiwi Reggae
Posted 9:46pm Thursday 15th March 2018 by Joel MacManus
L.A.B. is a supergroup with about as much pedigree as it’s possible to have in the New Zealand music scene. Combining the legendary Kora brothers Brad (drums) and Stu (guitar, keyboard), with Ara Adams-Tamatea of Katchafire on bass, and young talent Joel Shadbolt on lead vocals and guitar, Read more...
Library Lust
Posted 9:39pm Thursday 15th March 2018 by Emma Lindblom
I could feel his eyes on me. Glancing over, again and again, thinking that I wouldn’t notice. Or, thinking that I would. “Look, neither of us are getting any study done if you keep staring at me like that.” He huffed, and lay his head down on the table, staring up at me. His Read more...
Arcade Theatre hits all the right buttons
Posted 9:37pm Thursday 15th March 2018 by Kate Skinner
Arcade Theatre, a new theatre company focused on student and youth productions, is already striking a chord in the Dunedin theatre scene. Artistic Director Alex Wilson, who is completing his Masters in political theatre (yes, that’s a real thing), said, “We want to enable these Read more...
Millie Lovelock on Her New Single, 'Beneath the Visible Surface'
Posted 8:58pm Thursday 8th March 2018 by Jessica Thompson
She’s been gigging since she was 16. She’s an academic and a writer. She did her dissertation on One Direction and her thesis on Djuna Barnes. And some might say she’s one of the ultimate queens of the Dunedin music scene. Millie Lovelock won’t stop making music. With 11 Read more...
The Studylink Hold Music Playlist Is Fire
Posted 5:59pm Thursday 8th March 2018 by Joel MacManus
As is tradition for students every February, I recently spent a good 10 minutes on hold with Studylink. Normally, that would infuriate me, but this time something was different. The hold music. It started out with Brooke Fraser – Arithmetic, a soothingly powerful tune I haven’t heard in Read more...
Big Ass Burgers for Big Ass Bois (and Gurls)
Posted 5:55pm Thursday 8th March 2018 by Lachie Robertson
Saturday of O-Week was a big one, and the flatties and me were back at the flat after a beer or 20 craving a feed. Obviously, a kebab would’ve been ideal but the old wallet had taken a pounding over the past couple of weeks, so I had to improvise. I opened up the fridge to a pack of mince Read more...
Baynk: Just a Kid Trying to Escape Chemical Engineering
Posted 5:49pm Thursday 8th March 2018 by Emma Lindblom
Fresh out of playing Down the Rabbit Hole in O-Week, Baynk is an act that you don’t want to miss. With hits like “What You Need” reaching over 15 million streams on Spotify, Baynk (civilian name Jock Nowell-Usticke) is sure to please. From humble beginnings as a chemical Read more...
Night in the Woods Is the Best Game of 2017 (Non-Negotiable)
Posted 5:43pm Saturday 3rd March 2018 by Lisa Blakie
It’s 2018, but I am still living in the past so get ready for the iconic Game of the Year 2017 article. 2017 was a damn good time for games. Major releases like Horizon Zero Dawn, Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild and Super Mario Odyssey saw critical acclaim, and we saw stunning indie Read more...
Eno x Dirty
Posted 5:41pm Saturday 3rd March 2018 by Anastasia Manza
New Zealand music talent Eno x Dirty have come together again recently to drop their new album Evil Adventures & Happy Endings, the work of Eden Jouavel (Eno) and Manu Walters (Dirty). Eno and Dirty have been collaborating musically for over eight years. These guys were previously a part of Read more...
Chase & Status
Posted 4:50pm Saturday 3rd March 2018 by Chelle Fitzgerald
Saul Milton (Chase) and Will Kennard (Status) met at uni in London in the early 2000s. Fifteen years, four full albums, their own record label and multiple headlines later, they find themselves sitting happily as one of the biggest DnB acts in the world. OUSA managed to snag Chase & Status Read more...
Jonathan Waters: Graffiti on the Fringe of Society
Posted 4:48pm Saturday 3rd March 2018 by Jessica Thompson
Jonathan Waters began drawing in early childhood. With a love for basketball cards and Pokémon (he used to create his own original Pokémon), he kept at his passion and polished his craft in the cultural wasteland of Ashburton, where he lived until he was 18. After an extensive Read more...
FOLD: Nauseatingly dark but shockingly good theatre
Posted 5:33pm Thursday 1st March 2018 by Kate Skinner
If you’re a fan of Netflix’s Black Mirror, look no further. Jo Randerson's FOLD mixes nauseating unease, with unexpected bursts of satirical humour. This dark kiwi comedy is exceptional. FOLD is the type of theatre which leaves you still entrances two hours after the Read more...
How to make a Spag Bol that isn’t shit.
Posted 4:14pm Saturday 24th February 2018 by Lachie Robertson
A spag bol is a lot like a hand job – it can be a good old-fashioned time, or it can be uncomfortable, boring and leave you wanting something more exciting. In other words, a lot of flat spag bols taste like Bill English’s personality. Using this recipe you can ditch the Bill-flavoured Read more...
Jeeves and Wooster
Posted 4:09pm Saturday 24th February 2018 by Jessica Thompson
If you're after a show to drag an uncultured mate to, look no further. Jeeves and Wooster is the perfectly polished show for you! I’m relieved and delighted to say this show was actually funny (my expectations were low due to high school productions and Read more...
The Meteoric Rise of Drax Project
Posted 4:05pm Saturday 24th February 2018 by Jessica Thompson
With over two million streams of their single “Woke Up Late,” two EPs, and a gig opening for Ed Sheeran this year, Drax Project are certainly doing well for themselves. It’s a long way from where they began, busking on the streets of Wellington. Drax (an amalgamation of the Read more...
Albion Place
Posted 3:59pm Saturday 24th February 2018 by Joel MacManus
Over the last seven years Dunedin student band Albion Place has gone from a group of high school kids busking on the street they named themselves after, to tearing up Spotify, playing major festivals and performing a successful international tour. Their chill, Read more...
The New OUSA Sunglasses Have Bottle Openers Built Into Them and it’s the Coolest Shit Ever
Posted 2:09pm Monday 19th February 2018 by Joel MacManus
OK, everyone stop because this is super important. OUSA is giving away free sunglasses at Tent City and they’ve got bottle openers built into the arms! That’s fucking sick. They're not actually that good at opening bottles because it's made of plastic rather than metal, but Read more...
Quality of free OUSA snags up slightly, still underperforming market standards.
Posted 1:04pm Wednesday 24th January 2018 by Joel MacManus
OUSA’s free sausage sizzle, which runs every Wednesday during summer school, saw a slight uptick in snag quality after a disappointing opening week. The first week saw undercooked snags with a microwavey consistency, well below expectation for many critics. “I'm not angry, Read more...
The Road By Cormac McCarthy
Posted 1:09pm Sunday 8th October 2017 by Jessica Thompson Carr
This book will take you a day or two days tops to plough through. At times it’s thrilling, but the format is simple and McCarthy has dropped all quotation marks and “he said” / “she said” to make the writing have a smooth feel. A father and his son (unnamed) push Read more...
The Great Gaming Experiences of 2017
Posted 1:02pm Sunday 8th October 2017 by Lisa Blakie
For the last issue of 2017, I really wanted to highlight the magical parts of gaming. Those experiences that stick with you forever, that make for awesome stories at parties, that you remember with fond nostalgia, and that can bring you to tears. These parts of gaming are what make me keep playing. Read more...
Chocolate Tart
Posted 12:58pm Sunday 8th October 2017 by Liani Baylis
Do you remember a few weeks ago when I (hopefully) changed your life and told you about aquafaba? That amazing shit inside the chickpea can? Well I’ve finally got my ass into gear to bring you something to make using it. Guess what, team? It’s your lucky day because this delectable tart Read more...
Loveless
Posted 12:52pm Sunday 8th October 2017 by Diana Tran
Rating: 4.5/5 A Russian couple, Zhenya and Boris, are getting a divorce, and unfortunately there are no court battles for custody in Russia. The son hears his parents arguing over who should have to take care of him, and runs away from home. The film follows the parents’ search for their Read more...
Wind River
Posted 12:49pm Sunday 8th October 2017 by Callum Post
Rating: 4/5 Wind River is directed by Taylor Sheridan, who wrote the screenplay for Oscar nominated movies Sicario and Hell or High Water. This is only his second outing as a director, and the first with a budget bigger than my student loan. Wind River is a grim crime-thriller that centres on Read more...
Letter from the Music Editor | Issue 26
Posted 12:39pm Sunday 8th October 2017 by Bianca Prujean
A few weeks ago I tuned into Radio One 91FM on a Tuesday night and listened to a mysterious new show called ‘Negative Space’. The ‘Negative Space’ bio on Facebook informs the listener that the show’s DJ, Brackets, “cares about representing female producers,” Read more...
Shoot Me
Posted 12:33pm Sunday 8th October 2017 by Waveney Russ
Give Lync Aronson a medium to advertise his cause and he will. A library bookcase, an unfortunately timed fire drill, an instant camera sitting on the bank of the Leith; he’ll sniff out advertising opportunities before you’ve even noticed that free food Friday poster taped to a tree. The Read more...
Video Game Books
Posted 11:48am Saturday 30th September 2017 by Lisa Blakie
“Lisa, why don’t you review a REAL game for once”. Uh, no! Hey, you know what you should be doing instead of spending so much time playing your silly video games like Zoombinis and Call of Duty and the Mario? Maybe try reading a book? A book about… Video games! Haha! Gotcha! Read more...
Half a Yellow Sun
Posted 11:42am Saturday 30th September 2017 by Jessica Thompson Carr
Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie is truly a master of words. She combines history with fiction beautifully, and brings us close to the Nigerian Civil War (1967-1970), which I knew nothing about beforehand. The book follows the lives of five characters: Ugwu, a boy from a poor village; Olanna, an Read more...
Quesadillas
Posted 11:38am Saturday 30th September 2017 by Liani Baylis
Quesadillas hold a special place in my heart - a drunk cult-classic as far as I’m concerned. I will forever owe my drunk nights on exchange to my friend Lucy, who somehow composed herself enough to loosely monitor a bit of molten cheese on the stovetop. Get someone like that; absolute Read more...
Logan Lucky
Posted 11:28am Saturday 30th September 2017 by Callum Post
Rating: 3/5 Few things are more entertaining than trying to predict how a well thought out heist flick will play out. Logan Lucky is a revisit of this formula, starring a slew of A-list names such as Daniel Craig, Channing Tatum, Katie Holmes, and the up-in-coming Adam Driver. The movie Read more...
IT
Posted 11:27am Saturday 30th September 2017 by Todd Johnstone
Rating: 4/5 While not as scary as many people were suggesting, I wouldn’t recommend IT to anyone already suffering from Coulrophobia. This is the second adaptation of Stephen King’s 1986 novel to be put to screen, following the 1990 mini-series. Director Andy Muschietti has revamped Read more...
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