Ketamine,
You are a friend. A somewhat confusing friend. Your effect brings me everything and nothing, both the riddle and the answer for every question I never asked. You are different every time and every line, but in all these differences I find one similarity. The feeling I was searching for.
Two big lines act as my ticket for the ride I've ridden a hundred times. Today I don't want the beginner’s course. I plummet in a masterclass and I hope I plummet hard.
I lie on my bed, the room is dark. Darkness blocks distractions. Waiting for the first wave to hit. I close my eyes and calm down, I know exactly what's coming. First the warmth, then the shapes, then the lights, then the confusion, then the nothingness. And here it comes, I am off. Hello, my friend.
A box replaces my room I was just in. It's bigger than anything I've ever seen. I am still myself but I'm not where I was a minute ago. Has it been a minute? Where am I if not in my room? “Is this my room?" I see myself think the question but receive no answer. I see where I am, but how can I when my eyes are closed. My thoughts are projected onto my eyelids with stroboscope lights. Bright flashes filled with geometric patterns.
I am in complete control.
A vivid lucid dream I have induced. The ceiling starts to move down. Maybe the box is shrinking or maybe I am floating up. Is the room spinning or am I? Who can tell at this point. "Am I moving?" I see myself think the question but receive no answer. Doesn't matter. I didn't come here for answers. It's too late for answers, anyway. My mind turns and I fall. I fall fast and deep to the center of the dream. To the center of my mind. My thoughts pass me as I fall down. Or is the world moving up? I can't tell.
I am in control.
I am still me but I don't know where I am. The room is long gone. I am inside my mind, in the middle of my thoughts. I am lost and I am exactly where I want to be. I am falling deeper and harder. Floating through the geometric world. The patterns flash before me, around me, inside me. My vision is gone, but I see everything more clearly then ever before. I become one with the patterns. I am part of the dream. I am the dream.
I have lost control.
I am no more. I am inside my mind and that's all there is. I have left the reality I once knew behind. Reality was never real in the first place. We are one. We are confused by a full understanding of everything. We are the molecule and the universe at once. We are everything and nothing. If questions would exist, we would be the answer to each one of them. What we are doesn't matter, what matters most is that we are in motion. Everything moves. Synchronized. Everything aligns and is part of the same flow. Ride it out, follow the flow. I am the flow. There is no reality, there is no time, there is no more me.
I am slowing down.
The flashes become less bright, the patterns less complex, I start to remember an understanding of the reality I once knew. I am human. I remember my name. That's a start. I see the box around my room as I float towards it. Float inside it. I look down on my bed and see my body. I need that for later, so remember where it is. Try and open my eyes and see what happens. Patterns flashing on the ceiling. The stroboscope is still on. I am in my room. I am me again. On my bed, like I never left. An hour has past in this world, while an eternity happened in the previous one.
The ride is over.
Goodbye, friend.