Friends with benefits can be the ultimate situation, if you do it right. The idea is tempting to most – you get to hang out with a mate and also have regular sex. What’s not to love? But the fear that one of you will catch feelings and it will all end in an awkward sort of breakup and the end of a friendship is a valid concern. The reality is that most people just aren’t cut out for the savagery that is required to keep it purely friends. But if you think you and your mate have what it takes to get the balance right, keep reading for the ultimate guide to keeping it casual. Happy fucking!
1. The first and hopefully obvious one – you both have to be on the same page. Not in a, “I think they get that this is only casual” way, you have to have an open, honest, adult conversation about what this is and isn’t. It’s a no brainer – you both have to be 100% on board.
2. They are your mate, not your bestie. You are in it for sex and banter, not for a confidant. Feeling horny at the end of a long day? Go hang and bang. Had a bad day and want cheering up? Go to your bestie’s house, not his.
3. Find someone you would never actually want to date. Someone you are sexually attracted to but maybe kinda don't actually like as a person.
4. Never be affectionate in public. Better yet, act like you don't know them in public. The minute they put an arm around you or give you a playful touch of the arm in front of other people, it is ALL OVER.
5. You can hang out without having sex, but only in the privacy of your house. Takeaways in bed, fine. Going out to eat somewhere, not fine. That is dating. The point of this is that you are not dating.
6. Don't go for someone you knew well before you started banging. There is too much friendship, you already have all the history and foundation needed for a real relationship. Risky territory.
7. Don't stay the night. And don't cuddle too much, anything more than a quick post-sex snug and your body will start doing the hormone thing where it tricks you into loving them. That’s a real thing, look it up.
8. Tell as few people as possible. People are nosy and they will pry and make it awkward.
9. You don't owe them your time. If you are busy or you just can't bothered with going over then tell them no. You don't need to clear time in your schedule, they aren't a priority in your life.
10. Never be exclusive. Exclusivity means feelings, feelings spell danger. If you are feeling guilty about getting with other people, then I hate to break this to you – you have fallen off the deep end. Abandon mission right now.