Why I Swiped Left to Tinder

Why I Swiped Left to Tinder

We all know Tinder is a bit of fun, and that the likelihood of finding a cheeky bang after hitting town is far greater than finding your one true love (I’ve heard Heartbreak Island sign ups are out, so maybe there’s your chance). 

Here’s a list as to why I ditched Tinder and am going about the “old fashion way” to find a lover, asking hot people on the streets out in person.

  1. The creepy catfish, seed, or DANGER, I mean, they can fuck right off.
  2. You could be doing better things with your hands, all that strain for no gain? No thank you.
  3. They have the same pick up lines for everyone. “You like whales?” “YES OMG!” “How about we humpback at my place?” (Please backspace this immediately, you will get no reply). 
  4. When you meet up and already know each other's life goals. There’s no fun in saying “Yeah so how was your mum today?” You want to banter about what shit towns you come from face to face. Make them laugh, we like that.
  5. Going out for a drink and thinking that they could be doing this just for sex. Yes sex is good, but if they have shit chat then they say “Movies at mine?” (you may now feel you are on different pages) You don’t owe them “movies” just because you went for a drink and want to get to know them. Feel no guilt.
  6. My final reason is that asking someone out on a date in person sober now seems so out of the question. Why face all the adrenaline and possible embarrassment when we can show ‘hot people’ our ‘hot selves’ whilst behind a screen? Because people appreciate it!

Asking someone out in broad daylight fully out of the blue has to be one of the best things I have made myself do this year. Confidence is appreciated (even if it’s fake). You know that person you eye up every week in your lecture/cafe/hall, chuck in a cheeky wee “Hey I don’t want to be forward but did you want to get a drink sometime?” next time you cross paths. If they say no just laugh it off, all in all you really have nothing to lose.

Lots of love,

The girl who you might say yes to (don’t worry I won’t propose straight away).

This article first appeared in Issue 19, 2018.
Posted 5:38pm Thursday 9th August 2018 by Phoebe Storr.