Archive

Nonbinary Dirty Talk: 25 Freaky Genderless Naughty Nicknames

Posted 3:14pm Saturday 23rd March 2024 by Jordan Irvine

When you’re genderqueer and don’t use gendered terms, it can be hard to include good dirty talk in your sex life. Sex is fun, intimate, and it should be sexy, right? Dirty talk can quickly become awkward Mad Libs from hell when trying to remove gender from your lexicon (“baby Read more...

Horoscopes: Week 5

Posted 3:04pm Saturday 23rd March 2024 by Critic

Aquarius Your rizz is at an all-time high. Now’s the time to start talking to your lecturers and tutors nicely. Build that relationship so that when you inevitably forget to hand in assignments, there isn't too much blowback. Sexy-time song: ‘Close’ by Nick Jonas ft. Tove Read more...

Your First Time… According to Wattpad

Posted 3:00pm Saturday 23rd March 2024 by Jodie Evans

When your total bitch of a mother throws your things in a suitcase and tells you to meet your new owners (One Direction, a band you’ve literally never even heard of), the prospect of your emerging sexuality can be daunting, especially when you’re a fictional self-insert who doesn’t Read more...

Between the Sheets: The Realities of Lesbian Sex

Posted 2:54pm Saturday 23rd March 2024 by Madeline O’Leary

Disclaimer: This article is based on the personal experience of one individual. In this article, lesbian sex is referred to in the context of being between two AFAB (assigned female at birth) partners. Trans lesbians, we love you too. Hello there, queer/questioning/closeted Critic reader! You Read more...

ChatGOTH: Fast and Curious

Posted 2:50pm Saturday 23rd March 2024 by ChatGOTH

Hey ChatGOTH, There’s an epidemic of straight people walking slow. As a goth, how do you deal with that?  Sincerely, Fast and Curious.  Hi Fast and Curious,  Confession: I’m a queer slow walker. Yes, we exist. It depends on the breed of goth, but most are Read more...

ChatGOTH: Baby Gay

Posted 10:33am Monday 18th March 2024 by ChatGOTH

Hey ChatGOTH! I need advice. I’ve graduated from just being a bit bicurious to deciding that I’m definitely interested in dating other girls. Exciting, but also very scary! How do I go about doing that here? There are gay girls in Dunedin, right? Is it okay that I’m not Read more...

From the Museum Lawn to the Octagon “Palestine Will Be Free!”

Posted 10:30am Monday 18th March 2024 by Iris Hehir

Disclaimer: The writer of this piece has attended Dunedin Justice for Palestine rallies in a protesting capacity. Content warning: This piece includes discussion of violence and mass death.  The world has watched in horror since October 7th last year as death, destruction, and devastation Read more...

Debatable: Should the Vice Chancellor’s Salary be Removed?

Posted 6:17pm Sunday 17th March 2024 by Otago University Debating Society

Debatable is a column written by the Otago University Debating Society. The Debating Society welcomes new members and meets at the Business School every Tuesday at 6pm. For With the fucked-up state of academic institutions across the world in a neoliberal system where the Uni is run like a Read more...

Transfer Station Dumped from North D

Posted 6:04pm Sunday 17th March 2024 by Harriette Boucher

Brace yourself for some trashy news, the local dump is gone. The Dunedin Wickliffe Street Transfer Station (the tip near the Uni) has permanently closed. A shame, since it was both conveniently close to the student area and free for all students to use. Green Island is now the closest dump, setting Read more...

Staunch University Presence for St Patty’s

Posted 5:59pm Sunday 17th March 2024 by Hugh Askerud

The University is set to take a stand on St Patrick’s Day, utilising subbies and a host of others to take an organised security approach during the event.  Subwarden Rachel* told Critic Te Ārohi about the Uni’s planned presence on the day: “They were trying to get the Read more...

New Post-Grad Club Emerges Under Mysterious Circumstances

Posted 5:56pm Sunday 17th March 2024 by Hugh Askerud

The Society for Postgraduate Students (SPS) has mysteriously emerged after the old post-grad club (the Otago Postgraduate Association) was left abandoned late last year. The club was sworn into being by the OUSA exec at a meeting on the 5th of March, passing with all Read more...

Harm Reduction Hui ‘Bout to Drop

Posted 5:52pm Sunday 17th March 2024 by Hugh Askerud

Harm reduction is about to take centre stage with the Deep South Alcohol and Drug Harm Reduction Hui happening Monday and Tuesday this week at the Dunedin Art Gallery. According to the invite, the key aim is to “provide an opportunity to network to build relationships with others who are Read more...

Dunedin Debuts New Fringe

Posted 5:48pm Sunday 17th March 2024 by Jordan Irvine

On Wednesday, March 13th, the Dunedin Fringe Festival officially kicked off at Te Whare o Rukutia, ushering in 11 days of comedy, theatre, art, and the kind of general sophistication which you just need every once in a while.  The night began with MC/comedian/Fringe act Nicola Brown, who Read more...

Free Breakfast is Back to Five Days a Week

Posted 5:46pm Sunday 17th March 2024 by Gryffin Powell

For those of you bold enough to wake up before 9:30 (we get it, you’re better than us), OUSA Clubs and Socs have recently announced the extension of their renowned free breakfast programme to five days a week. The breakfast is open from 8:30-9:30am. Located in the Evision lounge, all Read more...

Music Company’s Policies Questioned

Posted 5:44pm Sunday 17th March 2024 by Jordan Irvine

Musos and performers alike have rallied together in defiance of ‘Breaking Sound’ after only one of five acts made revenue on a Wednesday night gig at Errick’s due to a questionable policy.  Breaking Sound is an LA-based company that gets promoters to find 4-5 bands to Read more...

Moaningful Confession: Kiss'n Boob

Posted 5:40pm Sunday 17th March 2024 by Critic

I’m sure a lot of Dunedin’s Sapphics can relate. The situation here is fucking dire. The streets of Dunners appear to be void of any queer woman, as do the confessions here. So, I thought I’d contribute a story of my own for your lady-on-lady reading pleasure. Let me set the Read more...

How to know if you’re a breatha (and how you can come to accept it)

Posted 5:36pm Sunday 17th March 2024 by Hugh Askerud

Part 1: Develop self-awareness Oh, the breatha. The absolute epitome of what people think of when they think “student”. Like the scarfie of yesteryear, the breatha is everywhere: lurking in your lecture halls, downing Monsters in the library, sifting on your mates. You know them Read more...

Booze Review: 818 Tequila Blanco

Posted 5:33pm Sunday 17th March 2024 by Chunny Bill Swilliams

What's better: Keeping Up With The Kardashians on a cold Friday or 818 Tequila on a Tuesday night and keeping up with a developing alcohol addiction?  Kendall Jenner's 818 Tequila has landed in Aotearoa, and we couldn't be happier – finally, I can reach my dream physique of Read more...

Man vs Campus: With Sam Soppet

Posted 5:26pm Sunday 17th March 2024 by Sam Smith-Soppet

The challenge: seven days, 0.22 square kilometers, one Critic office couch (now my bed). Is it doable? Probably. Will it suck? Absolutely. With the Critic office as my home base and staying within main campus bounds (between Clyde, Cumberland, Albany, Dundas), I aimed to answer the question that Read more...

“Weird” St Patty’s Escorted Walk Raises Eyebrows

Posted 5:22pm Sunday 17th March 2024 by Nina Brown

Last week, Students for Sensible Drug Policy (SSDP) had planned to host an escorted walking tour of North Dunedin on St Paddy’s Day for attendees of an alcohol and drug harm hui they’re co-hosting. On Thursday, SSDP’s executive announced its cancellation, stating they’d Read more...

Rainbow Story Time Attracts Boomer Hate

Posted 5:19pm Sunday 17th March 2024 by Nina Brown

A Dunedin Pride event went ahead smoothly, despite the presence of several protesters both online and in person. ‘Rainbow Stories with Miss Annie’ was held at the Dunedin Public Library on Saturday, March 9, attracting a significant amount of publicity due to online protests prior to the Read more...

Local Produce: Rosie Roaché

Posted 5:16pm Sunday 17th March 2024 by Jordan Irvine

Rosie Roaché is a talented visual artist with a show coming to Dunedin Fringe. After the success of last year's candid photography exhibition ‘Flâneur’, Rosie is back with an innovative personal project involving Pasifika culture. ‘Brown Skin Girls’ is a Read more...

Horoscopes: Week 4

Posted 5:10pm Sunday 17th March 2024 by Critic

Aquarius Aquababes, you are levelling up and recognising your worth. Financially you're doing amazing, finally curbing that wee spending habit. Stay focused and remember: just because it's on sale, that doesn't mean you're losing money if you don't buy it. Sweet treat of the Read more...

Editorial: We Need to Talk About Gaza

Posted 5:08pm Sunday 17th March 2024 by Nina Brown

We’re going to talk about Gaza. It would be a mistake to think that this is a decision Critic has taken lightly.  Editorship at Critic is constantly changing. Most editors only stay for one year, with former editor Fox breaking the mould by staying for two. And with each editor, the Read more...

Do it your fucking self: How to fix a scratchy woollen jumper or flannel

Posted 5:04pm Sunday 17th March 2024 by Critic

Yeah, it’s still too warm for flannels but that just means that they’re dirt cheap at op shops. Wool (as in fibre grown from sheep or similar, not just any kind of yarn) is a natural material that keeps you warm and dries quickly when it’s wet. It can also be scratchier than a Read more...

The Student Cult (Chur)

Posted 5:01pm Sunday 17th March 2024 by Lotto Ramsay

I don’t fully understand why I did what I did, but most of it can be chalked up to desperation, autism, and a strange attraction to this godforsaken city. Not all of it, though. There’s something about Dunedin. There’s something about going to the oldest university in our young Read more...

Moaningful Confessions: Luigi's Mansion

Posted 12:07pm Monday 11th March 2024 by Critic

It was a dark and stormy night; the wind was howling like the swirling storm inside (my uterus). Couldn’t keep it in, heaven knows I tried. It was semester break, and my friends and I decided to mish to Queenstown for a few days. After a long and windy trip across the mushroom kingdom, we Read more...

Knife-wielding Vampire Robs Flat

Posted 3:07pm Sunday 10th March 2024 by Sam Smith-Soppet

On March 1st, someone posted photos to the Castle24 Facebook page of a guy sitting on the ground with a bleeding nose, surrounded by police. The post warned others that he’d been on a thieving spree in the neighbourhood before “the cops took him”.  The burglar — who Read more...

Uni-intolerant: Why do hot girls have stomach issues?

Posted 2:55pm Sunday 10th March 2024 by Jodie Evans

For many starting their university careers, it’s with passionate optimism — the kind where you leave your dull hometown and escape into the big exciting world of adulthood (unrestricted alcohol consumption). But barely one week into what was supposed to be my very own coming-of-age Read more...

The Great Critic Hall Food Review

Posted 2:49pm Sunday 10th March 2024 by Critic

If you’re a first-year and noticed a baggy-eyed older student in your dining hall recently, chances are it was an undercover Critic Te Ārohi staff member nicking your food to review. Some would call it subterfuge, but we prefer the term “auditing”. Read on to see how your hall Read more...

Revolutionary Recipes: How to Season the Rich

Posted 2:43pm Sunday 10th March 2024 by Monty O’Rielly

When the revolution comes, the proletariat has been freed, and the wealthy Kiwis that sucked us dry have been rounded up, we will be left with one divisive question – how exactly do we eat the rich? Critic Te Ārohi has a modest proposal on unique ways to prepare our homegrown Read more...

Rob Roy Dairy For Sale

Posted 2:35pm Sunday 10th March 2024 by Gryffin Powell

Rob Roy is for sale. Harcourts listed the historic building on their website on Feb 21, calling it “an icon of the local dairy and ice cream scene.”  Critic Te Ārohi swung by Rob Roy and had a yarn to owner Liz Watson, who was forced awake before 6:30am (after a big night at Read more...

U-Bar Takes the sword to Pint Night line…inequality

Posted 2:22pm Sunday 10th March 2024 by Hugh Askerud

Management at U-Bar is taking a stand against inequality in the Pint Night line. The call for action comes after reports that wait times could be over an hour long late last year. In their battle against lines that haunt students’ nightmares, U-Bar will extend its opening hours on Wednesday Read more...

Opinion: Shit’s Really Going Downhill for Student Journalism

Posted 2:20pm Sunday 10th March 2024 by Monty O’Rielly

The sentiment that journalism is dying is thrown around so often that it seems a tired subject at this point. It’s treated as an inevitable. Last week’s report that Newshub, one of our major media sources in Aotearoa, is being forced to close was surprising but banal. It was merely Read more...

Link Gets a Glow-Up

Posted 1:57pm Sunday 10th March 2024 by Hugh Askerud

The Link is about to look like the Dunedin Farmers Market after getting a glow up which will leave microwave-lovers and OUSA clubs rejoicing. The University is partway through constructing a quasi-kitchen for the area, as well as opening up space for a series of groups to open stalls during Read more...

Student Journalists Restricted (And Then Not) From Parliament

Posted 1:50pm Sunday 10th March 2024 by Hugh Askerud

Student journalists cried for blood across the motu last week after Speaker of the House Gerry Brownlee revoked the Aotearoa Student Press Association’s (ASPA’s) access to Parliament’s Press Gallery. Critic Te Ārohi joined in with the masses (despite not having been aware of Read more...

OUSA’s TikToker Accused of Rigging Giveaway

Posted 1:44pm Sunday 10th March 2024 by Angus Rees

The OUSA marketing team’s TikTok content creator Amber Harrison has been slammed by commenters after giving away a Hybrid Minds double pass to her ex-flatmate. A series of extremely avid Hybrid Minds fans have protested the giveaway, alleging a conspiracy designed by the TikTok-famous Amber. Read more...

Booze Review: Hennessy Very Special Cognac

Posted 1:41pm Sunday 10th March 2024 by Chunny Bill Swilliams

Hennessy is like that one soundcloud rapper from high school who exclusively wears Vlone and thinks they’re one song away from making it big. It looks like a top shelf liquor and has the price tag to match, but leaves everyone looking at you questioning who the fuck you think you Read more...

Hayward Accuses Critic Food Reviewers of Subterfuge

Posted 1:34pm Sunday 10th March 2024 by Nina Brown

Critic Te Ārohi spent the past couple of weeks reviewing every hall of residence’s food — some with permission, but largely as undercover freshers. It went well for the most part, until News Editor Hugh and Features Editor Iris had their covers blown at Hayward, and Critic was put Read more...

Local Produce: Tama Alexander

Posted 1:30pm Sunday 10th March 2024 by Jordan Irvine

Tama Alexander is a prominent voice in the comedy scene who uses his student experiences to entertain both locally and nationally, combining cutting sardonic humour with musical theatricality. The 2023 Dunedin Fringe Festival saw Tama’s debut solo show ‘Fresher’, which detailed his Read more...

Horoscopes: Week 3

Posted 1:27pm Sunday 10th March 2024 by Critic

Aquarius You have a good head on your shoulders, so why are you leading them on? It’s not like you to be so flaky with romance and friendships. Figure out what you want and commit – it won’t be easy, but it’s better than the guilt, Aquarius.  Habit to pause: Hitting Read more...

From Hangi to Hupa: Navigating Soul Food in Studentville

Posted 1:25pm Sunday 10th March 2024 by Heeni Koero Te Rerenoa (Sky)

In the cutthroat world of student survival, where the budget is as tight as our jeans after gaining the infamous fresher five, planning for the week ahead can be a real challenge. Particularly so when it’s your turn to put on a hākari and you’re not sure which dish will impress the Read more...

Editorial: But Why is the Fun Gone?

Posted 1:15pm Sunday 10th March 2024 by Nina Brown

Students can’t seem to catch a fucking break. There’s something in the water, and it’s certainly not rum. Nothing alcohol-related, adjacent, or even slightly hinting at the A-word. That’s a bad word now.  I’d like to start with the disclaimer that we’re Read more...

Debatable: Should lecture recordings be made available from St Paddy’s Day?

Posted 1:10pm Sunday 10th March 2024 by Otago University Debating Society

Debatable is a column written by the Otago University Debating Society. The Debating Society welcomes new members and meets at the Business School every Tuesday at 6pm. For Every lecturer knows that St Patrick’s Day is a de-facto Dunedin day of rest. To go against this and refuse to Read more...

ChatGOTH: InsomNina

Posted 12:45pm Sunday 10th March 2024 by ChatGOTH

ChatGPT could never. Send all your woes and worries about foes to chatgoth@critic.co.nz for totally real and legit advice. Hi ChatGOTH, I was going to send in something about my sex life but it's been so long since I've felt human touch that there's honestly no point. The more Read more...

Initiations Meet Their Maker in the Proctor’s Office

Posted 2:35pm Friday 8th March 2024 by Harriette Boucher

What do you get when you cross a duck, a goldfish, and an eel with copious amounts of alcohol and ‘sufficient evidence’? Suspension and community service. 58 students from the University of Otago and three from Te Pūkenga have lived to tell — or rather not tell — the Read more...

Do it your fucking self: How to Unfuck your Vacuum

Posted 4:52pm Tuesday 5th March 2024 by Sam Smith-Soppet

Picture this: you’ve been riding the bender-coaster that is Flo and O-Week, you roll out of your bed on the wrong side of midday, and in a rare sober moment for you (or any student), you realise that your flat is a tip. A bombsite, even. Sure, you rush around and do your laundry, but the Read more...

Takeaways: Week 2 2024

Posted 4:33pm Tuesday 5th March 2024 by Critic

SOMETHING TO WATCH ‘While My Guitar Gently Weeps’ - Prince, Tom Petty, Steve Winwood, Jeff Lynne, more Taking place at the 2004 Rock ‘n’ Roll Hall of Fame, two members of the Wilb’s help sing the ‘Quiet Beatle’ banger “While My Guitar Gently Read more...

ChatGOTH: Birkenstunk

Posted 4:26pm Tuesday 5th March 2024 by ChatGOTH

ChatGPT could never. Send all your woes and worries about foes to chatgoth@critic.co.nz for totally real and legit advice. Hey girl!!!! Just thought I would reach out with one of the issues I've currently been going through. Generally speaking, I'm a pretty happy guy with great Read more...

Dollars and Scholars: Protest, Property Damage, and Student Activism at Otago Uni

Posted 5:23pm Saturday 2nd March 2024 by Zak Rudin

Disclaimer: Critic Te Ārohi does not condone property damage. Ah, the ‘90s. An era which saw the fall of the Soviet Union, the rise of the internet, way too much double denim, and a little thing called neoliberalism — responsible for causing the biggest and fastest privatisation Read more...

Local Produce: VELVET the label.

Posted 5:11pm Saturday 2nd March 2024 by Jordan Irvine

Max Came is the frontman of indie rock band Hot Sauce Club, and has recently created VELVET the label., alongside Will Georgeson of Pool House and Max Hackshaw of Frank on Tap. VELVET exists to promote artists around New Zealand and the world, currently made up of the three bands but looking to Read more...

Alcohol Brands Battle Over The Student Taste Bud

Posted 5:09pm Saturday 2nd March 2024 by Hugh Askerud

Sensing blood in the water, several alcohol companies have engaged in a cut-throat competition to secure student tastebuds over the Flo and O-Week period. The increased competition comes after a number of new RTD brands entered the student market, letting the old guard of Cruisers pass gently into Read more...

Baby Hall Shits Its Diaper

Posted 5:05pm Saturday 2nd March 2024 by Hugh Askerud

Shit went down (literally) at Te Rangihīroa College in O-Week after a blocked drain forced the college to close part of its first-floor due to flooding. The blockage happened on the morning of Sunday, Feb 18 – about 24 hours after new residents moved into the $100 million behemoth (no one Read more...

Students Encouraged to Vaccinate Against Meningococcal Disease

Posted 4:59pm Saturday 2nd March 2024 by Adam Stitely

The Meningitis Foundation has started a national campaign urging students to get vaccinated and highlighting the extreme risks of the disease. This push for vaccination comes after a smattering of individual cases have been reported at the University over recent years. Margaret Perley, the Head Read more...

New Low Cost Clinic Set to Ease Student Health Wait Times

Posted 4:56pm Saturday 2nd March 2024 by Gryffin Powell

Dunedin City GP have set up a new low-cost clinic aimed at easing disparity in health outcomes for students and other (likely more deserving) groups. The change comes after Student Health wait times have lengthened to a criminal degree in recent years.  The new centre will be a Very Low Cost Read more...

Know Your Stuff Finds a Bad Batch of MDMA

Posted 4:50pm Saturday 2nd March 2024 by Monty O’Rielly

A bad batch of gear was making the rounds during O-Week, leaving students both impoverished and with severe stomach pains after consumption. On Thursday, Feb 22, Know Your Stuff (with the unfortunate acronym KYS), the national drug-testing agency, issued the warning, “Several samples presented Read more...

‘The Dairy’ on Castle Turned Hyoketsu Billboard

Posted 4:47pm Saturday 2nd March 2024 by Sam Smith-Soppet

The Dairy, one of Castle Street's most recognisable derelict buildings, has been given a fresh coat of paint after Japanese RTD behemoth Kirin Hyoketsu paid for its temporary use as an advertising billboard. This comes after The Dairy, corner-shop-turned-flat (turned asbestos-filled shit hole), Read more...

New Club Dances on the Grave of Infamous Eleven Bar

Posted 4:24pm Saturday 2nd March 2024 by Hugh Askerud

Die-hard town-mishers are counting their blessings after a new club, Residency, has opened in the building that once housed the infamous Eleven Bar. Having opened its doors on Friday, Feb 16, the bar has fallen into the natural swing of town life, fuelled by sweat, stickiness, and the throng of Read more...

Horoscopes: Week 2 2024

Posted 4:21pm Saturday 2nd March 2024 by Critic

Aquarius Aquarius, 2024 is the year to be you. Wear that kinda ugly op-shop top or those shoes that hurt to walk in. You make it look good!  Dunedin hot spot to visit: First Church Pisces Sometimes it feels like everyone hates you, and maybe they do. You’re still hot though, Read more...

Aquaman’s Tasteless Tide

Posted 4:19pm Saturday 2nd March 2024 by Heeni Koero Te Rerenoa (Sky)

In an era where diversity is celebrated, Hollywood has found a new fascination – move over superheroes and intergalactic battles, because Māori culture has become the latest trend in the global entertainment industry. But are we witnessing a genuine celebration of diversity, or is it just Read more...

Fringe Festival is Here and It's Time to Show You Care About Saving Dunedin’s Venues

Posted 4:14pm Saturday 2nd March 2024 by Jordan Irvine

The hour has come for everyone to put their money where their mouth is. Look, we all love the idea of saving Dunedin venues – as evidenced by local movements, posters, and fundraisers – it’s just that we don’t seem to love actually getting up from behind our keyboards and Read more...

Moaningful Confessions: A Helping Hand

Posted 4:10pm Saturday 2nd March 2024 by Critic

I, like many people, am a massive fan of men moaning during sex but unfortunately it has been a while since I have heard this live and in person.  A few months ago, I was scrolling through TikTok and an audio of Pedro Pascal moaning came up on my fyp (thank you algorithm). I hadn’t Read more...

Debatable: Should you go on a date before sleeping with someone?

Posted 4:04pm Saturday 2nd March 2024 by Critic

For: The Pope After Covid, people tend to have an aversion to actually socialising, but they all still want a shag. Crazy concept talking to people, I know, but our parents managed to do it (for the most part) so why can’t you all? Hell, if you actually talk to the breatha or beezy you are Read more...

The Official Dunedin Old Test

Posted 3:36pm Saturday 2nd March 2024 by Lotto Ramsay

Have you ever… Bailed on Pint Night? Hosted a potluck/dinner party? Bought a $14+ bottle of wine? Brought just a 6-pack on a night out?  Refrained from drinking because your tummy hurt? Left a BYO basically sober? Purchased a textbook (and used it)? Declined free Read more...

Booze Reviews: Purple Goanna

Posted 3:09pm Saturday 2nd March 2024 by Chunny Bill Swilliams

Yup, love ‘em or hate ‘em, they still make this stuff. Purple Gs are getting funnelled, chugged, vortexed, snorkelled, and otherwise demolished at high speeds – much like the endangered Goannas of its namesake. For some reason, every other person just assumed that the OG – Read more...

Editorial: Apology Letter to the OUSA Exec

Posted 3:01pm Saturday 2nd March 2024 by Nina Brown

To the OUSA Exec: I am sorry for failing you. Let me explain. As the news editor last year, I sat in on (almost) every weekly OUSA Exec meeting. For the most part, it was all very boring once the thrill of the invite wore off. The process was painfully formal, with each step of the meeting Read more...

Debatable: Should Halls Be Completely Vegetarian?

Posted 4:22pm Monday 26th February 2024 by Ollie Thorns

Debatable is a column written by the Otago University Debating Society. The Debating Society welcomes new members and meets at the Business School every Tuesday at 6pm.   For: Ollie Thorns It’s a pretty clear case, freshers are better off without meat. The calorie intake that Read more...

Disc Den Drives Into the Sunset

Posted 5:42pm Sunday 25th February 2024 by Hugh Askerud

Dunedin music industry titan Disc Den is set to close up shop after a legendary 47-year run. If you haven’t been to Disc Den (*cough* fresher) it’s a music joint near the Octagon that offers posters, T-shirts, CDs, and pretty much everything else music-related in the big Read more...

Catacombs Slammed for O-Week Lineup Diversity Shortfall

Posted 5:36pm Sunday 25th February 2024 by Angus Rees

Dunedin DJs and local music punters are criticising Catacombs for its severe lack of diversity in their O-Week lineup. Despite Catacombs opening their doors to DnB artists for six nights of O-Week, the selection is distinctly fuelled by testerone, and a number of allegations suggest that Read more...

Inflaty 180 Relaunches OUSA/Highlanders Partnership

Posted 5:32pm Sunday 25th February 2024 by Nina Brown

To relaunch their official partnership with the mighty ‘Landers, OUSA introduced the Inflaty 180 at the Highlanders vs Moana Pasifika game last Saturday, February 24. The half-time fun run saw first-year students from each hall (because who else can you count on for free labour in times of Read more...

Fringe Fest Gettin’ Fruity

Posted 5:29pm Sunday 25th February 2024 by Gryffin Powell

Call your mum for a cheeky bank transfer because the Fringe Festival is back, running March 14th until the 24th in our very own Ōtepoti Dunedin. The annual arts festival (because this fringe isn’t just a phase!) will feature 86 events, dipping its toes into the student market by inviting Read more...

Otago Staff and Alumni Urge University to Back Palestine In Open Letter

Posted 5:22pm Sunday 25th February 2024 by Iris Hehir

Last November, 221 Otago University staff and alumni signed an open letter calling for Vice Chancellors at universities across New Zealand to issue a joint statement in solidarity with Palestinians. The letter came a month after Hamas’ October 7th attack on Southern Israel, re-igniting a Read more...

Moaningful Confessions: Don't Download Grindr

Posted 5:18pm Sunday 25th February 2024 by Critic

Okay, some context: I’m a trans guy and at the time I was getting over my ex-boyfriend so I decided to download Grindr (don’t ever do that). I’d had quite a few people messaging me but only a select few were actually within a decent distance and I can’t drive so needed to Read more...

SIX60 v No 6: Hoani Matenga Hasn’t Forgotten His Roots

Posted 5:14pm Sunday 25th February 2024 by Iris Hehir

Few Kiwis will ever experience the pinnacles of success that Otago University alumni Hoani Matenga has. Ever since his first taste of representing his country for the Baby Blacks (NZ U19s) in 2006 as a second-year, Matenga’s rugby career has taken him on a journey most Weetbix card-collecting Read more...

Editorial: Moaningful Confessions May Meet Its Unsexy Demise

Posted 5:02pm Sunday 25th February 2024 by Nina Brown

We’re (maybe) scrapping Moaningful Confessions. I realise this won’t be a popular move, but it’s time.  Behind the scenes, the column has been going downhill for a while and submissions have been few and far between. Most weeks it would reach print night and Lotto, who runs Read more...

Local Produce: CANDI

Posted 4:57pm Sunday 25th February 2024 by Jordan Irvine

Candice is a familiar voice from Radio One, but she isn’t just a DJ on the radio – as CANDI, she’s an influential music artist with an impressive track record of live shows. Only established in Re: Ori ‘22, CANDI has quickly become a prominent fixture in the electronic scene, Read more...

Campus Watch, Watched

Posted 4:53pm Sunday 25th February 2024 by Nina Brown

Campus Watch are the aunts and uncles of North D. They giggle at the antics of youths, make bad jokes and elbow you until you laugh along, and don’t hesitate to tell you when you’re being a dick – aggressively so if you’re caught throwing bottles. Campus Watch is 40 strong, Read more...

Horoscopes: Week 1 2024

Posted 4:47pm Sunday 25th February 2024 by Critic

Aquarius  Put the fucking pastel highlighters down - it’s too early to start colour-coding things. Organisation won’t bring you the comfort you crave, but people will. Get out there and don’t let the start of sem pass you by.  New Year’s resolution to ditch: All Read more...

Which Countdown rat are you?

Posted 4:19pm Sunday 25th February 2024 by Jodie Evans

Everyone and their mother are talking about the Countdown rats - those “unsanitary” intruders scurrying across the deli salad and whipping up an ODT storm. But have you stopped to consider how the rats feel? Perhaps each rat has its own complex life, just like yours. They, too, drink way Read more...

Flo-Week Theme Review: 2024

Posted 4:04pm Sunday 25th February 2024 by Lotto Ramsay

Monday: Back to School (Courtyard)  Flo-Week opened with a strong start at Courtyard, running the tried and true ‘Back to School’ theme. The look book for the night was composed of pleated skirts and unironed white collars, with a fair sprinkling of kit from local high Read more...

Booze Review: Kirin Hyoketsu Lemon

Posted 3:54pm Sunday 25th February 2024 by Sippy Bill Swilliams

Students return to their shitboxes, locals complain on Facebook, the annual tradition of Flo and O lives on. A fortnight of alcohol and substance ridden debauchery – an alcohol company’s wet dream.  The only thing consumed more than piss in these two weeks of degeneracy is the Read more...

‘Almost Pumping’: Dunedin Surf on Film

Posted 3:33pm Sunday 25th February 2024 by Hugh Askerud

Surf culture in Ōtepoti has always operated in an uneasy tandem with the student community. When a gaggle of students sputter into view of the beach, most local surfers roll their eyes and call it a day, or else begrudgingly share their waves with often very good (if greedy) student surfers. We Read more...

Daddy Grant Announced as Otago's New VC

Posted 12:03pm Tuesday 20th February 2024 by Hugh Askerud

Ex-Minister of Finance Grant Robertson has been announced as Otago Uni’s fresh Vice Chancellor, effective from July 1st this year. According to the Chancellor, Stephen Higgs, Grant’s “appreciation for and understanding of the needs of students was evident” during the Read more...

Long Live the King

Posted 4:17pm Monday 19th February 2024 by Fox Meyer

According to over 150 Critic readers, these are the definitive King’s Cup rules for Otago students: 2: You, with 93.6%. Nominate a drink. 3: Me, with 93.6%.  You must drink. 4: Whores, with 61.8%.  People identifying as female must Read more...

Fresher Simulator: O-Week

Posted 4:13pm Monday 19th February 2024 by Lotto Ramsay

1. Welcome (Start here) You’re a fresher (our condolences) arriving at Dunedin airport for the first time ever. You marvel at all the butt-fuck-nowhere around you. Off to collect your luggage! Where did you fly in from, again? A: Auckland (Go to 11) B: Somewhere else (Go to Read more...

Goops, I did it again! An idiot’s guide to stain removal

Posted 4:11pm Monday 19th February 2024 by Lotto Ramsay

Happiness is fleeting, we all die, and nothing is truly permanent. Nothing, that is, except for stains that you don’t get out in time (fuck you especially, red wine). O week is full of shenanigans that can ruin your clothes, soft furnishings, and possibly your future. Luckily, Critic is no Read more...

Homie-Eroticism: All the gay shit breathas do

Posted 4:05pm Monday 19th February 2024 by Lotto Ramsay

Dunedin is one of the few places on earth where you’ll hear the f-slur casually used by straight breathas who are mere hours away from drinking out of each other’s nutsacks. I posit that Breathadom creates a unique space for playful, casual male intimacy that remains socially Read more...

Nut Up or Shut Up: Why Halls Should Go Vegetarian

Posted 4:00pm Monday 19th February 2024 by Fox Meyer

The way halls work right now, with opt-in veggies but obligate meats, is completely backwards. I don’t care if you keep eating meat in your day-to-day life. It’s kinda cringe, but ultimately, the emissions from one private jet flight outweigh any of your dietary choices. So I can live Read more...

Editorial: Get Into It, Yuh

Posted 11:32am Sunday 18th February 2024 by Nina Brown

To many reading this: welcome back, suckers. To the freshers who have gone back and collected old issues of Critic Te Ārohi once you realised it exists, is free, and is the best thing you’ll ever read: kia ora, I’m glad you made it. Here’s a wee introduction. Critic Te Read more...

Duck-Biting Story Threatens Otago’s Reputation, Says Newspaper that Wrote the Story

Posted 9:54am Saturday 2nd December 2023 by Fox Meyer

The ODT has highlighted how Otago University’s reputation was damaged by a story broken in early October about students biting the legs off live ducks. This story was broken, of course, by the ODT themselves, who remain the only organisation privy to any sort of evidence that this ever Read more...

C'mon, John, Just Donate to the Pūteketeke

Posted 11:04am Thursday 16th November 2023 by Fox Meyer

Is a bird in the hand really worth two on a billboard? John Oliver doesn’t care, because he’s got more money than you.   John Oliver joked on his show that there’s nothing more American than influencing elections, and that may well be true (I, myself, have indulged). Read more...

We Can't Find the Duck-Biters

Posted 1:34pm Wednesday 25th October 2023 by Fox Meyer

Critic has been unable to find any evidence of an alleged duck-biting initiation.  Following the ODT’s story on October 6, we got in touch with a bunch of recently-initiated first-years, and a few hosting second-years. None had witnessed anything involving a live duck, but all were Read more...

Castle Street (mostly) Denounces Animal Abuse

Posted 6:31pm Saturday 14th October 2023 by Fox Meyer

As Dunedin flat initiations have come under fire, students on the rowdiest street in town have rushed to their defence. They say the leading story, about allegedly being forced to bite the feet off a live duck, is “not what we’re about at all”. Critic Te Ārohi spoke to one Read more...

Crossword Answers Issue 26

Posted 3:19pm Thursday 12th October 2023 by Critic

No spoilers! If you're looking for the answers from our final issue, they're right here.   Crossword 1: ACROSS: 2. TOAD 4. SLOB 7. MENU 8. ISH 9. ALOE 10. IBIS 12. AZUL 14. WHITE 15. FLAKE 17. IGOR 18. ALOO 19. MAN 21. LENNON 23. TINSEL 24. MOBILE 26. OBLONG 28. BLT 30. NEVE Read more...

OUSA Condemns “Vigilante” Action after Duck Initiation

Posted 12:53pm Monday 9th October 2023 by Fox Meyer

A post on the Dunedin News Facebook page calling for the names and addresses of students involved in an alleged initiation has stirred up online vigilante action. OUSA has denounced the initiation activities - if true - and has also denounced any wannabe justice seekers. Public backlash to the Read more...

BOOZE REVIEW: Just Booze

Posted 11:47am Monday 9th October 2023 by Albert Einsteinlager

Shoutout Noisy. Shoutout ADJØ. Shoutout Albar.   New Zealand needs to change the way we drink. We drink excessive amounts of alcohol and know no weekend tradition other than binge drinking. This behaviour is extremely dangerous, and it’s projected that if we continue drinking Read more...

Editorial: Is this a Dunedin Initiation or a CIA Blacksite Torture Method?

Posted 1:18pm Sunday 8th October 2023 by Fox Meyer

Flat initiations are 20 years old at best. You know what else is 20 years old? Enhanced interrogation techniques designed by CIA crackpots in the wake of 9/11. They like to go out, abduct suspected terrorists and then torture them for weeks in secret locations on foreign soil. The tactics used (the Read more...

Editorial: Is this a Dunedin Initiation or a CIA Blacksite Torture Method?

Posted 1:13pm Sunday 8th October 2023 by Fox Meyer

Flat initiations are 20 years old at best. You know what else is 20 years old? Enhanced interrogation techniques designed by CIA crackpots in the wake of 9/11. They like to go out, abduct suspected terrorists and then torture them for weeks in secret locations on foreign soil. The tactics used (the Read more...

Horoscopes: Week 26

Posted 12:43pm Sunday 8th October 2023 by Critic

Aquarius  This is for everybody going through tough times. Believe me: been there, done that, but every day above ground is a good day. Remember that.    Indulgence to succumb to: Fighting with your conservative family members.   Pisces  Soon you’ll Read more...

Local Produce: - Fool of Stars

Posted 12:41pm Sunday 8th October 2023 by Jordan Irvine

Formed in 2020, Fool of Stars started out as a high school dream pop band. The current line up, Olive Ward (guitar/vocals), Max White (drums), and Jacob Smith (organ), came together to enter Bring the Noise in 2022. Following a warm reception from friends and strangers, they decided to record their Read more...