Archive

Horoscopes: Week 22

Posted 12:40pm Monday 11th September 2023 by Critic

Aquarius Jan 20 - Feb 18 Aquarius, learn what a fucking boundary is. You’ve been overstepping and it’s getting a little weird.  Food to hyperfixate on: Beans on toast. Pisces Feb 19 - Mar 20 It’s time to adopt a new form of conflict management and Read more...

BOOZE: Panhead Supercharger APA

Posted 12:35pm Monday 11th September 2023 by Albert Einsteinlager

Is Panhead craft beer? It looks like craft beer, it costs like craft beer, it gets you incredibly drunk like craft beer… but it tastes like the green bottle stuff your dad’s been drinking for the last 35 years. Supercharger is a gateway beer to the craft world, though your dad will only Read more...

Moaningful Confessions: Campus watch fanfic

Posted 12:34pm Monday 11th September 2023 by Critic

Before you ask: no, this fantasy never happened nor have I abused Campus services just to see them. I respect their power way too much. But I can dream, and if it were to happen, I think it would go something like this.    It all began on the first Saturday of O-Week. Mind you, this Read more...

Editorial: Te Wiki o Te Reo Māori: Because who needs English, anyway?

Posted 12:17pm Monday 11th September 2023 by Nā Skyla from Ngāti Hine

Ah, Māori Language Week, that time of the year when corporate giants dust off their faux-cultural sensitivity and engage in the shameless game of linguistic Monopoly. It’s almost heartwarming to see these mega-corporations roll the dice to determine which Māori word they’ll Read more...

Chargrillss: Fried rice

Posted 12:12pm Monday 11th September 2023 by Charly Burnett @chargrillss

It's September. Fried rice it is. This easy dinner will have you satisfied and not feeling too heavy. There aren't many recipes left for this year so I hope you have given at least one a go. This is easy to follow, and even for the dustiest of cooks it can't go too wrong. Give it a Read more...

Local Produce: Ice Lab

Posted 12:11pm Monday 11th September 2023 by Nina Brown

We have an ice lab on campus. If you’re standing on the bridge over the Leith on Clyde St facing toward the harbour, you’ll see it: two blue shipping containers in a parking lot, set to a temperature of minus 8 degrees. The ice lab was set up around two years ago for students who’d Read more...

Takeaways: Week 22

Posted 11:53am Monday 11th September 2023 by Critic

Something to…     Watch   They Cloned Tyrone (Netflix)    Use your ex’s Netflix password that’s still saved on your laptop and strap the fuck in. John Boyega and Jamie Foxx star in this freakishly good government conspiracy movie Read more...

Takeaways: Week 21

Posted 9:06pm Sunday 3rd September 2023 by Critic

Something to…   Watch   Bionicle: Mask of Light (2003)   Ahead of our Te Wiki o Te Reo Māori issue, you might want to give this movie a go. Don’t ask why, you’ll see. Whole thing’s on YouTube. It’s equal parts Power Rangers, LEGO Read more...

Chargrilss: Winter Apple Crumble

Posted 8:52pm Sunday 3rd September 2023 by Charly Burnett @chargrillss

Everybody knows an apple crumble is the absolute queen of desserts. She’s cheap, delicious and easy as piss to make. Here’s a very simple recipe in case you couldn’t figure it out on your own.   Filling Ingredients 5 apples, peeled, de-cored and cut up into small Read more...

Editorial: Two problems with big-time philanthropy.

Posted 8:46pm Sunday 3rd September 2023 by Fox Meyer

It’s politics week, so I want to talk about donations. Specifically “big-time philanthropy”, which is not when Auntie Lorraine makes out a $2,500 cheque to the children’s hospital. I mean more like when Peter Thiel donated $1 million to the Christchurch earthquake recovery Read more...

BOOZE: KGB’s

Posted 8:41pm Sunday 3rd September 2023 by Albert Einsteinlager

If the KGB are vodka and lemon, the CIA must be a shot of fireball delivered via lead into the back of your brain.    KGBs are at the forefront of RTD supremacy. They are neck and neck with Billy Mav’s, each vying for the title of “favourite alcoholic beverage of the Read more...

Moaningful Confessions: Shore girl, shore ting

Posted 8:33pm Sunday 3rd September 2023 by Critic

This happened not long after I left high school, when I made particularly questionable fashion choices. It was after midnight and I was on my way to a Tinder hookup’s house, so I’d put on a little black dress and done my makeup, too. I couldn’t find any shoes to go with it though, Read more...

Local Produce | Imperfect Creatures

Posted 8:30pm Sunday 3rd September 2023 by Jamiema Lorimer

Just last week, Dunedin-based fashion brand Imperfect Creatures, designed by Ethan Cruise, was shown on the New Zealand Fashion Week runway. Critic Te Ārohi caught up with Ethan about his latest collection ‘MOTION’ and what else we can expect from Imperfect Read more...

Local Produce: Keira Wallace

Posted 11:09pm Sunday 20th August 2023 by Jamiema Lorimer

Not many high schoolers can say they’ve performed alongside their musical heroes, but for Ōtepoti singer-songwriter Keira Wallace, this will soon be a reality. Critic Te Ārohi caught up with Keira about their music and exciting upcoming projects.   Of creating music, it Read more...

Moaninful: Snap Back to Reality

Posted 11:08pm Sunday 20th August 2023 by Critic

I’ve always read this column but I have the suspicion that some of these stories just cannot be true. So, consider this my entry to bring things back towards reality, because this is usually how things go.   Moaningful confessions? Absolutely. I’ve been moaning for months. 18 Read more...

Takeaways: Week 20

Posted 11:07pm Sunday 20th August 2023 by Critic

Watch   The Sopranos   Want to put your business degree to good use, but don't want the government taking that tax money? The Sopranos would act as a pretty good blueprint if you were looking into committing crime and fraud as a career choice (in game, of course). Also good Read more...

Chargrills: FLATBREADZ

Posted 11:06pm Sunday 20th August 2023 by Charly Burnett @chargrillss

Do you like meatballs? Do you like salads? Do you like halloumi, spiced chicken, fish or steak? Well add anything you like to this easy flatbread recipe. The best thing about this recipe is it only has 2 ingredients. Pairs well with any meat and veggies on top. Don't forget da sauce Read more...

Editorial: Otago is About to Solve the Climate Crisis

Posted 11:03pm Sunday 20th August 2023 by Fox Meyer

Great news! We’re set to lose about $900,000/year in the Geology Department, crippling our ability to research natural hazards and climate change. But what we aren’t realising is that this is actually a genius move from the top levels of government to solve the climate crisis Read more...

BOOZE: Vodka

Posted 11:00pm Sunday 20th August 2023 by Albert Einsteinlager

Vodka benefits from great PR and is likely the most renowned spirit in the world, despite it being pretty boring.   If you’re spending more than $60 on a bottle of vodka, you are a fool. That shit all tastes the same. “Wow, you can really taste that fourth filtration. It Read more...

Lit Comp Pt.2

Posted 10:51pm Sunday 20th August 2023 by Critic

Non-fiction runner-up Days: Thinking of you By Zoe Wu   The quiet buzz of my alarm nudges me awake. I blearily lift my head, expecting to see warm sun rays weaving around the curtains to tickle my face. Instead, the cold darkness of winter mornings sends a chill down my spine. Read more...

Horoscopes: Week 19

Posted 4:07pm Sunday 13th August 2023 by Critic

Aquarius Jan 20 - Feb 18 Being numb and having no feelings is actually not normal. In fact, it’s rather concerning. Ease up on the sociopathy this week, and try to find some emotion deep within the creases of your soul.  DIY project: Clean your mojo dojo casa Read more...

Chargrills: Satay Chicken Vermicelli

Posted 3:57pm Sunday 13th August 2023 by Charly Burnett @chargrillss

This recipe is dedicated to the lovely human who sent an email complaining about the use of prawns in my first ever recipe for Critic. I still think about that message sometimes. This was going to be a prawn recipe out of spite but I am choosing kindness. Chicken it is, and don't forget to be Read more...

EDITORIAL: Rock Bottom

Posted 3:56pm Sunday 13th August 2023 by Fox Meyer

Hey, you, you’ve got thirty seconds. Sign this petition. It’s not pointless, we did this sort of thing when marine science was under the axe, and it worked. Do it, because it’s only open until Wednesday. Do it, because if Otago is willing to cannibalise its own founding discipline, Read more...

Local Produce: Small Press Fest

Posted 3:54pm Sunday 13th August 2023 by Jamiema Lorimer

This weekend launches the inaugural Small Press Fest. Critic Te Ārohi caught up with the festival’s creator and curator, Frances Pavletich of Evening Books, on the whats and whys of a dedicated fest to small press.   Small Press Fest runs from August 18-20, hosted at Evening Read more...

Takeaways: Issue 19

Posted 3:48pm Sunday 13th August 2023 by Critic

Something to:     Watch   University’s Cyber Security Education and Awareness Programme   Some would say you’re supposed to engage with Otago’s Security Education and Awareness Programme, but I beg to differ; watching it from the distance of Read more...

BOOZE: Wild Moose

Posted 3:40pm Sunday 13th August 2023 by Albert Einsteinlager

Wild Moose is the greatest New Zealand/Canada collaboration since Gallipoli.    Much like the mythical beast of Fiordland for which it’s named, our country is resigned to its existence and must drink in its honour. That moose is never going to turn up. You’d have an Read more...

Moaningful Confessions: Feelin’ fuckin norty

Posted 3:35pm Sunday 13th August 2023 by Critic

So, it’s 2019, Mr Traumatik is on in Auckland, how good. It was around 10pm, I had lost all my mates and could feel the party favours kicking in so I was absolutely wildin’ in the mosh and clearly sending out a vibe. A man puts his arm around me, he’s cute, we immediately click. Mr Read more...

Editorial: Rock Bottom - Save our Geology Department!

Posted 12:33pm Friday 11th August 2023 by Fox Meyer

Hey, you, you’ve got thirty seconds. Sign this petition. It’s not pointless, we did this sort of thing when marine science was under the axe, and it worked. Do it, because it’s only open until Wednesday. Do it, because if Otago is willing to cannibalise its own founding discipline, Read more...

Horoscopes: Week 18

Posted 2:25pm Monday 7th August 2023 by Critic

Aquarius Jan 20 - Feb 18 The plot? Babe, you’ve lost it. Try getting a grip on reality this week and restore the chaotic good within your soul.  Budgeting tip: Stop vaping.  Pisces Feb 19 - Mar 20 Pisces, the weather is shit, the vibes are bad, and no one Read more...

Moaningful Confessions: Sunday Service

Posted 2:21pm Monday 7th August 2023 by Critic

It was a cold Dunners Saturday night. I was planning to do the usual, which was drink at a pres with my mates, act like their base drops are good, then go stay the night with the guy I was seeing at the time. I didn’t enjoy town that much so I never went. I was a horny girl who just needed Read more...

Takeaways:

Posted 2:18pm Monday 7th August 2023 by Critic

Something to:     Watch   The Post-Oppenheimer Cinematic Universe   Feeling left with some existential dread after Oppenheimer? Great! Let’s make it worse. First off the block ought to be Grave of the Fireflies, a movie so emotionally devastating that Read more...

BOOZE: Jägermeister

Posted 2:18pm Monday 7th August 2023 by Albert Einsteinlager

Some German guy - Meister Jäger, I assume - read 'George’s Marvellous Medicine' and thought, “Ya I can do zat,” and then all the other Germans were like, “I know it is only 1934, but this is ze best idea we have had in a while,” and so forth came Read more...

Editorial: Finance is just Astrology for Capitalists

Posted 2:14pm Monday 7th August 2023 by Fox Meyer

Last time we talked about bad timing: why announcing a million-dollar rebrand during massive staff cuts is a bad idea, even if the rebrand itself is a good call. This time we’re gonna be talking about maths.   Unlike the decision to rebrand, the decision to set a budget is rooted Read more...

Chargrills: Chicken Curry

Posted 2:13pm Monday 7th August 2023 by Charly Burnett @chargrillss

You know what? This is far from the best curry I’ve had. It was warm and curry-like, but I probably wouldn’t eat it again. Nice and simple, yes. Will warm you up and give you some veggies. If it was a movie it would be Avatar, beautiful visuals but forgettable story and ultimately Read more...

Local Produce: Fairuza

Posted 2:12pm Monday 7th August 2023 by Jordan Irvine

Fairuza is new to the Ōtepoti music scene, but is making a quick and strong presence. As one of the few gender queer bands in Dunedin, Fairuza have established themselves as the band to follow. Only forming this year, members Phaedra (guitar/vocals), Lucy (bass/vocals) and Vzynn (drums/vocals) Read more...

Takeaways: Issue 17

Posted 2:05pm Monday 31st July 2023 by Critic

Watch   Endangered Species Aotearoa   Streaming on TVNZ On Demand (so, free!), this is a more hands-on nature show than your classic David Attenborough documentary. It is hosted by conservationist Nicola Toki and comedian Pax Assadi who visit spots around the country in search Read more...

Local Produce: The Audio Visual Dropkicks

Posted 1:57pm Monday 31st July 2023 by Jamiema Lorimer

They’re only second-years, but The Audio Visual Dropkicks have dropped in big to the Dunedin Sound, already playing a fair share of ski club parties and even following Hans Pucket on the road for two shows last month. Critic Te Ārohi chatted with the band about their freshly released EP Read more...

Horoscopes: Week 17

Posted 1:54pm Monday 31st July 2023 by Critic

Aquarius Jan 20 - Feb 18 To get through the last few weeks of winter, treat yourself to your favourite comfort foods. Think ramen, mashed potatoes, pasta. All the carbs you can dream of. Make the most of hibernation, baby!  Habit to break: Picking your nose.  Pisces Feb 19 Read more...

Chargrills: STEAK SALAD

Posted 1:50pm Monday 31st July 2023 by Charly Burnett @chargrillss

It's mid-winter. Buy wine instead of a box and use the excess money to buy feta and orange kumara. You deserve it. Get the veggies in and get the flu out. Life’s short, eat good food and your body will thank you.    Ingredients    600g of rump or blade steak Read more...

Editorial: Begin the Warpath

Posted 1:48pm Monday 31st July 2023 by Fox Meyer

I often write these columns with second-years in mind, because that’s usually who reads this magazine. And so I tend to write silly little editorials with fun facts and stories in them because life is already pretty stressful and depressing and the last thing a second-year wants is another Read more...

An Open Letter from the POAG Organising Committee

Posted 1:40pm Monday 31st July 2023 by Critic

Student life is marked by so many indignities that you’re supposed to accept: the cold, the debt, the lack of nutrition, the shift work for petty tyrants. All the labours that make you question your life choices and whether it’ll be worth it for some shining future. It gets worse, Read more...

Booze review: MAJOR MAJOR

Posted 1:38pm Monday 31st July 2023 by Albert Einsteinlager

DUDE, before MAJOR MAJOR came into my life, I would have never had the confidence to drill a hole into the Vice Chancellor’s office and fill it with bees, but now with MAJOR MAJOR I’m living my true university experience! Let’s all go break bottles on the try-line of Victoria Read more...

Moaningful Confessions: On the rag

Posted 1:32pm Monday 31st July 2023 by Critic

I was just about to leave for uni, so me and my girlfriend at the time wanted to tick as many boxes as we could. We had a pretty kinky sex life – think like, rough rough – but at that point our sex had mostly been box-ticking, so to speak. However, on one fateful and particularly horny Read more...

Horoscopes: Week 16

Posted 4:54pm Monday 24th July 2023 by Critic

Aquarius Jan 20 - Feb 18 As the semester kicks off, it appears there is some romance waiting in the wings for you. Don’t let your commitment issues or dark humour scare this potential lover off; try and be remotely normal for once.  Self care Sunday moment: Rotting with a Read more...

Local Produce: ​​Paradox Princess

Posted 4:52pm Monday 24th July 2023 by Jamiema Lorimer

“Quite like Barbara but don’t fuck with cops, I’m coming to Shorty in a crop top,” Paradox Princess spits on her track ‘Utopia For Sale.’ Critic Te Ārohi caught up with Paradox Princess to talk about her upcoming album ‘Creating A Time Read more...

Booze review: GIN

Posted 4:48pm Monday 24th July 2023 by Albert Einsteinlager

Gin is medicine; it’s true. I was prescribed it, along with heroin, by my 19th century doctor. He says, “It takes the edge off of Mondays.” I miss the days when you could be prescribed alcohol by a doctor. You know you’re a special case when your doctor says, “Jesus, Read more...

Chargrills: Mexi Bowls but fod-friendly

Posted 4:46pm Monday 24th July 2023 by Charly Burnett @chargrillss

It’s still cold again. You know where it’s still NOT cold? Mexico. Let’s pretend we’re there again. But this time we have a sensitive tummy. Sand between toes, Trump caps everywhere. The sound of breaking waves but no rumbly, gassy tummy. Just hunger. Perfect. Read more...

Moaningful Confessions:

Posted 4:40pm Monday 24th July 2023 by Critic

The story about the most embarrassing sex of my life starts back when I was a first-year. I was working a part time job and, like all naive first-years, I hadn't learnt to not get involved with coworkers. The guy in question, we'll call him Sam, was a couple years older than me but Read more...

Moaningful Confessions:

Posted 4:40pm Monday 24th July 2023 by Critic

The story about the most embarrassing sex of my life starts back when I was a first-year. I was working a part time job and, like all naive first-years, I hadn't learnt to not get involved with coworkers. The guy in question, we'll call him Sam, was a couple years older than me but Read more...

Takeaways: Issue 16

Posted 4:39pm Monday 24th July 2023 by Critic

Watch   Day After Tomorrow & Happy Feet Combo   An icy double-header of forgotten classics. Happy Feet is one of the better movies from 2006 that you haven’t watched in ages, directed by George Miller between his Mad Max movies (meaning, canonically, Mumble and Read more...

Editorial: Bring Back Child Labour

Posted 4:29pm Monday 24th July 2023 by Fox Meyer

It’s the meme that started it all. And while we all laughed about it, we were too shy to admit that they were kinda right. That’s why, heading into election season, I am once again challenging any of the major parties to announce their plan to bring back child labour. Hear me Read more...

Horoscopes: Week 15

Posted 10:09pm Tuesday 18th July 2023 by Critic

Aquarius Jan 20 - Feb 18 Aquarius, it’s time for you to normalize insanity. Flatmates pissing you off? Scream at them and eat their cheese. Situationship going downhill? Fuck someone else. Life is too short to not be your best, unhinged self.  Way to get warm: Read more...

Editorial: Dude, Where’s my Castle Host?

Posted 10:05pm Tuesday 18th July 2023 by Fox Meyer

I’ve heard talk that Castle hasn't had an open host since O-Week. What’s up with that? Ya scared?   If you live on Castle, you have a communal responsibility to throw open hosts beyond the bare minimum dates of O- and Re-O-Weeks. That’s what Castle is known for, and Read more...

Booze review: RUM(S)

Posted 10:00pm Tuesday 18th July 2023 by Albert Einsteinlager

Rum is the blindfold that humanity gladly adorns when things get messy.  A tipple of rum to the war-torn soldier leavens the load of indefinite suffering, and the base aromat of orange and vanilla is as familiar to fruit the sailor will get. The legacy of rum is often a swansong to the Read more...

Chargrills: Mexi-Bowls

Posted 9:54pm Tuesday 18th July 2023 by Charly Burnett @chargrillss

It’s cold. You know where it’s not cold? Mexico. Let’s pretend we’re there. Close your eyes for a moment. Imagine the feeling of sand between your toes. Imagine the background noises of the United States attempting to overthrow yet another Southern democracy. Perfect. Read more...

Local Produce: Soul Chai

Posted 9:51pm Tuesday 18th July 2023 by Jamiema Lorimer

While you’re retiring from kick-ons in the early hours of Saturday, Daniel Fitzpatrick is up and brewing the perfect cure to nurse your hangover and winter blues. Critic Te Ārohi caught up with Daniel to spill the tea on his farmers market venture, Soul Chai.   As Soul Chai, Read more...

Moaningful Confessions: She Pea on my Nut till I Butter

Posted 9:47pm Tuesday 18th July 2023 by Critic

Hope you don’t have a peanut allergy because this one is about to get saucy. So it’s about a year ago, maybe two, and I’m in a UniFlat. We’re doing flat dinners so everyone cooks once a week. And there was an international girl who was living with us who I was really into, Read more...

Horoscopes: Week 14

Posted 1:33pm Sunday 9th July 2023 by Critic

Aquarius Jan 20 - Feb 18 Take a trip to Veggie Boys this week. Grocery prices are fucked, and you will probably need some nutrients after re-o. Leeks are good this time of year.  Re-O Activity: Take shrooms and have a spiritual awakening.  Pisces Feb 19 - Mar 20 Winter Read more...

Chargrills: RE-O RECTIFIER: Beef Edition

Posted 1:30pm Sunday 9th July 2023 by Charly Burnett @chargrillss

And we're back with a simple DINNAAAAAA. We're talking beef and vegetables, or you can use fake meat or tofu to keep it vegan. All with some sachet sauce. Tuck into this for a Re-O rectifier that won’t break the bank.    Ingredients   Drizzle of oil (fun Read more...

Local Produce: 3D Printed Nipples

Posted 1:26pm Sunday 9th July 2023 by Hayley Stent

Research Associate Professor Jaydee Cabral is an Otago researcher and lecturer who is taking 3D printing to a whole new level. Her lab is going to be printing nipples. Yes: printing nipples with a 3D printer.  Of all things to 3D print, why nipples? Jaydee has a good reason. She is going to Read more...

Moaningful Confessions: Long as Fuck, And Also Gross

Posted 1:21pm Sunday 9th July 2023 by Critic

It was 2018, I was recovering from my first heartbreak/trying to figure out how to stop fucking my ex every single time we felt like it, so naturally I downloaded Tinder - surely some fresh dique to be found there. I organised a date with this guy called Matt (was going to change his name but never Read more...

Editorial: The Uni Budget Collapse if it were a Deck

Posted 1:05pm Sunday 9th July 2023 by Fox Meyer

Let's say you live in a flat with an awesome, party-ready deck. It costs a bit to maintain, but that’s okay because it’s the right thing to do. People love coming over to party on the deck and it’s totally safe because your landlord pays the maintenance bill. It’s their Read more...

Booze Review: Your Uncle's Homebrew

Posted 1:03pm Sunday 9th July 2023 by Albert Einsteinlager

New Zealand’s unhealthy relationship with alcohol is built on the solid foundations of your uncle’s homebrew.    Whether the uncle in question is yours or a mate’s, the product is the same. You’ve likely had a shot of their 80% alc/vol moonshine which was Read more...

Horoscopes: Week 13

Posted 6:35pm Monday 29th May 2023 by Critic

Aquarius Jan 20 - Feb 18 It’s time to enter your problematic era. Start some shit, spread a rumor, call it how you see it. Take no prisoners this week, besties. Scandal of the week: Pizzagate.  Pisces Feb 19 - Mar 20 There is something about pisces and your ability to Read more...

Chargrills: Thai Green Curry

Posted 6:23pm Monday 29th May 2023 by Charly Burnett @chargrillss

It's a freezing Dunners Tuesday. You're nearly on the downhill slope to the weekend, but it's still shit because it's 2 degrees and you’re not quite there yet. Your living room is colder than it is outside and your puffer vest and beanie aren't quite stopping your breath Read more...

Pōpopo - Jamiema Lorimer | Local Produce

Posted 6:17pm Monday 29th May 2023 by Jamiema Lorimer

Would you still love me if I was a worm? Pōpopo wormporium, the composting initiative of Otago Polytechnic, definitely would. Critic Te Ārohi caught up with Liam Hoffman and his worms to find out more. Pōpopo is OP’s very own composting facility created to deal with Read more...

Moaninful Confession: Seal the Deal

Posted 6:13pm Monday 29th May 2023 by Critic

It was break, and we were spending a few nights at my boyfriend’s parent’s place. Naturally we both were hungry for some alone time. So off we go: “an excursion for fresh air”. We walked and talked, but that just wasn’t cutting it. Next thing I knew, a quiet kiss on the Read more...

Editorial: Vic Uni’s Student Mag SCANDAL

Posted 5:22pm Monday 29th May 2023 by Fox Meyer

Victoria University Wellington has joined Otago University in announcing substantial job cuts in the wake of financial strain. Because of course they did, they’re always trying to copy us. The announcement that Otago will be entering a newer, slimmer staffing era (so chic!) sent ripples Read more...

Booze Review: Fizzliss Old Fashioned Lemonade + Vodka

Posted 5:18pm Monday 29th May 2023 by Albert Einsteinlager

Built into the human genome is a predisposition toward enjoying bubbles. All things bubbly. Bubbles in my bath, bubbles that meander through the air, Bubbles shooting up heroin in the streets of West Baltimore. A momentary existence punctuated with a satisfying *pop*; there is no situation that does Read more...

Horoscopes: Week 12

Posted 4:16pm Sunday 21st May 2023 by Critic

Aquarius Jan 20 - Feb 18 Troubled waters ahead! Be sure to navigate your friendships and relationships accordingly, as tension is on the horizon. Also, wash your sheets. It’s been way too long. Kiwi tune to play: ‘Something In The Water’ by Brooke Fraser Pisces Feb Read more...

Moaningful Confessions: Yearner’s License

Posted 4:13pm Sunday 21st May 2023 by Critic

It started at a beach at sunset and ended at an ice rink parking lot. As all good stories do. We had pulled up at Kilda to do the whole romantic thing of watching the sun setting over the sea. It worked - things were getting heated and before I knew it my shirt was off. The condensation on the Read more...

Editorial: Music to My Ears

Posted 4:10pm Sunday 21st May 2023 by Fox Meyer

As it’s music month, I can’t think of any better time to introduce this gem from the past: ACT MP David Seymour’s first appearance on the decks as a DJ, from back in his days as a student at Auckland Uni. This is honestly such an important part of NZ music culture and I Read more...

Chargrills: Brownies

Posted 4:07pm Sunday 21st May 2023 by Charly Burnett @chargrillss

Winter’s setting in and dinner just doesn't cut it sometimes. Most flats have a bunch of baking supplies leftover from the mid-Covid baking panic of 2021, so make use of them. Stop frowning and make your flat a brownie. This is one of the top three things I've had in my mouth. Get into Read more...

Booze Review: Purple Death

Posted 4:03pm Sunday 21st May 2023 by Albert Einsteinlager

All the appeal of cough syrup, without the fun effects. Purple Death is like a Fast & Furious marathon: you’re excited to revel in something objectively terrible with your friends, and it is fun initially, but after three hours of staring at Vin Diesel's fat head you begin to wonder Read more...

Local Produce: Je Pleure

Posted 3:32pm Sunday 21st May 2023 by Jamiema Lorimer

Je Pleure is a fashion brand established by Jack King. Critic Te Ārohi caught up with the young designer from Ōtepoti. Je Pleure first began as an alias Jack used to release his own art under. “I was originally going to call it ‘I CRY’ until my French friend blurted Read more...

Booze Review: Rochdale Classic Apple Cider

Posted 3:07pm Monday 15th May 2023 by Albert Einsteinlager

Four ciders a day makes your doctor go, “Oh, fuck.”   Rochdale Classic Apple Cider is an economical drop for breathers that want to piss off their beer-loving friends. Why is it that every time cider is brought up in a public conversation, some tradie in a mucked-out ute Read more...

Horoscopes: Week 11

Posted 3:39pm Sunday 14th May 2023 by Critic

Aquarius Jan 20 - Feb 18 Aquarius, it’s easy to feel alone in this world. But don’t worry. A new, special someone is on the horizon for you. Don’t give up on love and comfort, it’s just around the corner. Snack of the week: Spring rolls.  Pisces Feb 19 - Read more...

Chargrills: Thai Pumpkin Soup

Posted 3:35pm Sunday 14th May 2023 by Charly Burnett @chargrillss

Winter’s here, so it’s time to get warm from the inside out. Soup is slept on so hard until you have it again for the first time in years and you get to dip a chunk of hearty bread into a thick bowl of saucy goodness, feeling like a medieval peasant after a hard day’s toil in the Read more...

Local Produce: The Beatniks

Posted 3:32pm Sunday 14th May 2023 by Jamiema Lorimer

The Beatniks are named after the track ‘Beatnik’ by OG Dunedin Sound band The Clean, which itself makes reference to the Beat Generation subculture of the 60s. Although what The Beatniks do is different to what happened in the 60s, they’re part of a subculture of their own: the Read more...

Moaningful Confessions: Not begging for moa

Posted 2:53pm Sunday 14th May 2023 by Critic

Music has the ability to bring people together. So do taxidermied moa. And blowjobs. As it turns out, all of the above can also tear people apart and sow weeks of exasperated sighs into your everyday life. Let me explain: It was midnight on a Friday. I was single and “ethically” Read more...

Horoscopes: Week 10

Posted 2:13pm Sunday 7th May 2023 by Critic

  Aquarius Jan 20 - Feb 18 Aquarius, it’s time to sack up and take a stand on what matters. You can’t be a passive people-pleaser for the rest of your life, it’s important to have an opinion in the pursuit of what is right. Activity of the week: Give a shit Read more...

Moaningful Confessions: Dinner and a Show

Posted 2:00pm Sunday 7th May 2023 by Critic

I was travelling recently and, as luck would have it, I was upgraded to the top floor of the Quest apartments by the Old Bank in downtown Wellington. It’s a fancy art deco complex above Starbucks. Class, plenty of room to hang out between adventures in the big city, and bonus: I could spy on Read more...

Takeaways

Posted 1:59pm Sunday 7th May 2023 by Critic

Something to: Watch The Wife Swap George Bush episode: The Patrick and Leierwood Family episode is what your flat is missing. One family is an uber-conservative, hella-patriotic American military family who LOVES George W Bush. Meanwhile, the other family consists of Godless hippies who Read more...

Chargrills: Teriyaki Build-a-Bowl

Posted 1:57pm Sunday 7th May 2023 by Charly Burnett @chargrillss

This is a super easy, low maintenance option for a quick and healthy dinner while only having to cook the rice and protein. More colour = more nutrients. Get amongst it.   Ingredients 800g chicken breast or tofu, cut into bite size chunks Oil Teriyaki sauce sachet/bottle 3-4 Read more...

Editorial: Conespiracy

Posted 1:43pm Sunday 7th May 2023 by Fox Meyer

Cone theft from George Street is costing the DCC $40k a year, and students are copping the blame. Can’t be surprised, though: Dunedin students love cones of many varieties. We broke this story last week, which was picked up by Stuff, Spinoff, Seven Sharp and the Breakfast Show. Not that any Read more...

Booze Review: Ginger Bear

Posted 1:37pm Sunday 7th May 2023 by Albert Einsteinlager

With a name like Ginger Bear, it would be too easy to make a joke about being fucked in my ass by a 300+ pound, ginger-haired, Todd-from-Breaking-Bad-looking guy. So I won’t. Crimson Badger Brewing’s Ginger Bear is the perfect reintroduction to a medium of drinks that have otherwise Read more...

Booze Review: Riot Punch

Posted 3:29pm Monday 1st May 2023 by Albert Einsteinlager

Riot Punch is the perfect drink to serve during half-time at a 3rd XV highschool rugby game. Riot Punch is an evil alchemy, being both incredibly easy to execute and terrifyingly effective. Through many years of painstaking research, a perfect recipe was developed: cheap vodka paired with blue Read more...

Horoscopes: Week 9

Posted 4:20pm Sunday 30th April 2023 by Critic

  Aquarius Jan 20 - Feb 18 Aquarius, it’s time to wake up. Someone in your close circle may be up to no good, so it’s time to reevaluate who is in your nearest and dearest posse. Bar to visit: Woof!  Pisces Feb 19 - Mar 20 And first of all, I wanna Read more...

Just Like the Movies

Posted 4:05pm Sunday 30th April 2023 by Critic

I made this high on brownies. True story tho, enjoy: It was the third date and we had just finished up at the movies. He suggested that we go somewhere. I gave a shy “okay” smiley nod and then followed him out onto the street. We walked for a while trying to find the perfect private Read more...

Chargrills: Thai Red Curry

Posted 4:03pm Sunday 30th April 2023 by Charly Burnett @chargrillss

I've just been to Thailand. It'd be rude not to do a Thai beef red curry. You will love this.  Thai Red Curry Ingredients Oil 700-800g beef rump steak, cut into small cubes Salt & pepper 1 brown onion, diced 1 tsp crushed garlic 1 tsp ginger (if you have Read more...

Editorial: Bats

Posted 3:50pm Sunday 30th April 2023 by Fox Meyer

Really didn't know what to write about this week, so here’s how I caused a minor rabies scare in rural Ohio. I started out attending uni at a shit school in the shittest state in the entirety of America: Ohio. I only went because they gave me money and I will never forgive them for it. Read more...

Why are you poor?

Posted 3:14pm Sunday 23rd April 2023 by Critic

Only losers are poor, and if you’re poor, it’s your fault. There are so many reasons why it’s your fault, so we’ve designed this quiz to help you really figure out the answer so you can get back on that #grind. What are you spending the most money on that you could do Read more...

Moaningful Confessions: Can’t Beetle this Juice

Posted 2:59pm Sunday 23rd April 2023 by Critic

I know there have been some less-positive confessions lately, so here’s something slightly more wholesome. Slightly. It’s around 2am and most of our flat’s in bed, save for two (let’s call them Nikki and Molly, not using real names). The door of the flat opens, and Nikki Read more...

Local Produce: Saurian

Posted 2:58pm Sunday 23rd April 2023 by Jamiema Lorimer

Saurian make music that matches their name: hard rock. Critic Te Ārohi managed to catch up with the band in the midst of their current tour. Saurian is Karl (guitar/vocals), Cameron (guitar), Logan (bass), and Hamish (drums). Saurian have been a band since 2015, starting with Karl and Hamish Read more...

Chargrills: potato bake

Posted 2:56pm Sunday 23rd April 2023 by Charly Burnett @chargrillss

This shit is simple and dope. Feeds 8, so there definitely will be leftovers. Pair with a bit of cheap rump steak and steamed broccoli or whatever else you feel like running. 1kg potatoes, peeled 150g cheese, grated 1.5 cups of cream and/or milk 2 cloves fresh garlic, Read more...

Editorial: why capitalism is actually great for the environment

Posted 2:42pm Sunday 23rd April 2023 by Fox Meyer

Thanks to Margret Thatcher (#girlboss) and a few other legends, we all get to live in the wonderful world of industrial capitalism. They also call it neoliberalism, which is like Neopets but for money. It’s very slay and cute. We get to use this thing called “the market” that Read more...

Booze Review: Soju

Posted 2:32pm Sunday 23rd April 2023 by Albert Einsteinlager

Soju sounds like a slur Walt Disney would use. It’s not, though. It’s booze. It seems that these days I have exhausted my excitement for alcohol. Bored of beer, sick of RTD’s, and left with broken spirit(s). The novelty is gone and I wonder what is the point of destroying my Read more...

Horoscopes: Week 8

Posted 2:16pm Sunday 23rd April 2023 by Critic

Aquarius Jan 20 - Feb 18 It’s time to celebrate yourself, Aquarians! Give yourself a sweet treat and a pat on the back for all your efforts. You deserve it. Political ideology to subscribe to: Anarchism.  Pisces Feb 19 - Mar 20 Pisces, it goes without saying you have Read more...

Horoscopes: Week 7

Posted 12:07pm Sunday 16th April 2023 by Critic

Aquarius Jan 20 - Feb 18 While you may be enjoying life mentally and physically, it’s your financial wellbeing you should check in on. This is your yearly reminder that course related costs are not actually free money. Drug to indulge in: Shrooms.  Pisces Feb 19 - Mar Read more...

Local Produce: Ōtepoti Slam Collective

Posted 12:03pm Sunday 16th April 2023 by Jamiema Lorimer

The Ōtepoti Slam Collective (ŌSC), formerly the Dunedin Slam Collective, was founded by poet and playwright Kerry Lane. Alongside hosting open mic poetry nights until 2019, ŌSC also hosted competitive regional slams that were integrated with the NZ Young Writers Festival from 2017 Read more...