Four ciders a day makes your doctor go, “Oh, fuck.”
Rochdale Classic Apple Cider is an economical drop for breathers that want to piss off their beer-loving friends. Why is it that every time cider is brought up in a public conversation, some tradie in a mucked-out ute drives past to tell you that you’re soft? As if fermenting fruit is only for compost and children. There’s more alcohol in my cider than there is in your Summit, so fuck off Trev. Go back to yelling at your kid’s Year 6 rugby team.
The greatest challenge for any cider is the balance of sweetness. A lot of ciders are so overly-sugary that it negates the refreshing quality of the drink. To turn fruit into a concoction of refined sugars seems like a sin, which is why I don’t trust jams. With no added sugar, Rochdale Cider is terrifically sweet while leaving room for its crisp flavour to shine through, a great balance achieved by New Zealand’s oldest cidery. A spoonful of sugar may help the medicine go down, but Rochdale doesn’t need any help.
At $23.99 per 12 cans and 4.5% alcohol, Rochdale rivals most beers while offering a greater number of standards. Any student majoring in Breatha Science (shout out) can budget for a night out on these. Incredibly easy to drink, I find I tend to swig my way through these boxes in consistently record time, allowing me to maximise drunkenness before heading to the rugby or a mate’s shitty gig. Also, the fact that the box opens up like a treasure chest is pretty cool.
While I appreciate that cider may not be everyone’s cup of tea, at its core it’s just an apple. If you’re turning your nose up at this cider without giving it a go, you probably have some deep-seated fruit-phobia, and are the kind of person to take onions and tomatoes off of your burger. Two hundred years ago, you would’ve been dying of scurvy. Until writing this review, I did not realise how much angst I had built over the years because of the abuse I faced for my proclivity towards cider. Appreciate turning old fruit into something that gets you fucked up and stop nit-picking.
Tasting notes: Apple. Pairs well with pork. Yeah.
Chugability: 10/10. Right down the gullet.
Hangover depression level: 4/10. Pretty light, pretty fruity.
Overall: 7.5/10. Solid cider.