Archive

Straight Up | Issue 26

Posted 5:01pm Sunday 30th September 2012 by La Dida

In this one short sentence, I will possibly extinguish what’s left of my queer cool cred: I’m a country fag, and I like it. I am not hard country. I’m more the soft, lifestyle block, grow-heirloom-roses kind. I like the smell of silage, flower shows, and shingle roads. I like to Read more...

Notes on a Scandal | Issue 26

Posted 5:01pm Sunday 30th September 2012 by Brittany Mann

When I was getting travel vaccinations recently, the nurse administering them said she had not heard of the recent Ebola virus disease outbreaks in Uganda and Democratic Republic of Congo (DRC). I made no real effort to veil my scorn (hello, she is a nurse at a travel medicine clinic…) and wasted no Read more...

Yes We Might! | Issue 26

Posted 5:01pm Sunday 30th September 2012 by Creepy Uncle Sam

Last week, Mitt Romney pulled out of the presidential race, to be replaced by a fresh-faced Tea Party ticket of Paul Ryan and a Dalek. The latest scandal to hit the Romney campaign proved too damaging: Mitt was caught on camera dismissing the 47% of Americans who pay no federal income tax as Read more...

Me Love You Long Time | Issue 26

Posted 5:01pm Sunday 30th September 2012 by Lovebirds

None of you read this anyway. It’s just that little weird standfirst bit above the action below. But anyway ... The Blind Date has been at Metro bar for the last few weeks, and it sounds like they’ve been putting on quite a show. Great feed, good drinks, excellent service etc etc. If you want in on Read more...

Editorial | Issue 26

Posted 5:01pm Sunday 30th September 2012 by Joe Stockman

And so just like that, the Logan Edgar era comes to an end. Francisco Hernandez – a career student pol if ever there was one – has come down the middle of a Scarfie vote split by Ryan Edgar and Zac Gawn to claim the OUSA student presidency for 2013. You have to wonder how Gawn and Ryan feel Read more...

Te Roopu Māori Elections

Posted 4:25pm Sunday 23rd September 2012 by Lisa Pohatu

José Maria de Eça de Queiroz said that “Politicians and diapers should be changed frequently, and for the same reason.” Thank you to all those who turned up to the SGM, and for providing some constructive feedback to the proposed changes within the management system of Te Rito. Hopefully you Read more...

The Room (2003)

Posted 4:25pm Sunday 23rd September 2012 by Sam McChesney

It was a question of defining importance. For decades, the debate raged. What was the worst film of all time? The contenders came from far and wide – Plan 9 From Outer Space, Robot Monster, Santa Claus Conquers the Martians, Troll 2, Zombie! vs. Mardi Gras, Howard the Duck, Battlefield Earth. With Read more...

ODT Watch | Issue 25

Posted 4:25pm Sunday 23rd September 2012 by Staff Reporter

In honour of the 24hr issue, we took all of this week’s ODT Watch out of Wednesday’s issue. You might worry that one day’s worth of ODT isn’t enough to make an entire ODT Watch. Oh, how wrong you would be … You’ve all heard the saying “What happens in Milton, stays in Milton”, right? No? Read more...

Poetry | Issue 25

Posted 4:25pm Sunday 23rd September 2012 by Staff Reporter

Her name was Elizabeth She wore glasses and cashmere We held hands by fireside and teased about childish things It was raining, and quick. Her name was Ashlee She sat next to me in white dresses We walked without speaking around mountaintop monasteries in flaming summer Read more...

In 'da House | Issue 25

Posted 4:25pm Sunday 23rd September 2012 by Holly Walker

As I write this, it is 119 years to the day since New Zealand became the first country in the world to recognise women’s right to vote. Thanks Kate Sheppard. Heart you. New Zealanders are rightly proud that we were the first to do this. Smug, even. And fair enough; it’s awesome. It is Read more...

Diatribe | Issue 25

Posted 4:25pm Sunday 23rd September 2012 by Dan Benson-Guiu

You may have heard that the Islamic world has been set alight again, but this time, not by a revolution – a truly crap movie has upset Islam, and I urge anyone with an eye for Z-grade films to watch Innocence of Muslims. The film whatever you want to call it mocks the Prophet Mohammed, calling him a Read more...

Sex at The Dinner Table | Issue 25

Posted 4:25pm Sunday 23rd September 2012 by Checker-out St Flat

The plan for this week was to do a sex position review and details of how I got a blowjob in Bill English’s bathroom, but Joe’s dictatorial order that every measly word of this week had to researched and written from within the Critic office would have made at least the position review mega awkward. Read more...

Microbiographia | Issue 25

Posted 4:25pm Sunday 23rd September 2012 by Toby Newberry

Heshen was a corrupt Chinese official who lived during the second half of the 18th century. Corrupt officials, one might think, are a dime a dozen. What separates Heshen from the pack is his remarkable success. Though estimates are conflicting, it is believed thatwhen he died aged 48, Heshen’s Read more...

For The Record | Issue 25

Posted 4:25pm Sunday 23rd September 2012 by Lukas Clark-Memler

I’ve always liked Thursdays. A distaste for Mondays, Tuesdays, and Wednesdays really doesn’t have to be explained; Rebecca Black has forever ruined Friday for me; Saturday is all about anticipation, and the day itself is generally lost in the buildup to “the night”; Sunday Bloody Sunday is a day of Read more...

Straight Up | Issue 25

Posted 4:25pm Sunday 23rd September 2012 by La Dida

6.45 am Wake up. Shit. Face creased from sleeping on top of Foucault. 7.00 am Look at face in mirror. Cleanse. Scrub. Tone. Moisturise. Eye cream. Foundation. Ahhhhhhhhhhhh no concealer! Eyebrow pencil. Sunblock. Perfume. Hair product. Perfume. Try on wig. Take off wig. Try on wig with Read more...

Notes on a Scandal | Issue 25

Posted 4:25pm Sunday 23rd September 2012 by Brittany Mann

I saw a group of people doing a tag-team keg stand in the middle of the Cumberland/Dundas intersection on Saturday, while the Cumberland lights were red. It pretty much made my life. If you were one of those brave, carefree whippersnappers and you’re reading this, well, I take my hat off to you. I Read more...

Yes We Might! | Issue 25

Posted 4:25pm Sunday 23rd September 2012 by Creepy Uncle Sam

You know why Cracked still exists? Because lists are fun and easy, that’s why. So here’s a compilation of the 17 best quotes of the election campaign so far: 17. “I love the women’s movement – especially when walking behind it.” – Rush Limbaugh, responding to accusations of sexism. 16. Read more...

Me Love You Long Time | Issue 25

Posted 4:25pm Sunday 23rd September 2012 by Lovebirds

None of you read this anyway. It’s just that little weird standfirst bit above the action below. But anyway ... The Blind Date has been at Metro bar for the last few weeks, and it sounds like they’ve been putting on quite a show. Great feed, good drinks, excellent service etc etc. If you want in on Read more...

Editorial | Issue 25

Posted 4:25pm Sunday 23rd September 2012 by Joe Stockman

Wow. This week’s issue of Critic is the 24hr issue. We started work on it at 6am last Wednesday, and we’re just now about to send it off to print at 6am on Thursday morning. All of the content and design has been completed within 24hrs. Needless to say, we’re all pretty exhausted. As far as Read more...

ODT Watch | Issue 24

Posted 4:57pm Sunday 16th September 2012 by Staff Reporter

You may have missed it, what with the snow and all, but the NZ Herald moved from a broadsheet to a tabloid format last week. To celebrate this first step on the road to obsolescence for NZ’s largest newspaper, we’ve let the pun-seeking powers of ODT Watch loose on the Herald’s hallowed pages. The Read more...

Scary Vengeful God

Posted 4:57pm Sunday 16th September 2012 by Greg Hughson

Last week we held our University and Polytechnic Chaplaincy Annual General meeting. It was a chance to pause and reflect on all that we have been trying to do as a Chaplaincy team here on campus over the last 12 months. Primarily what we are here for is to offer pastoral care and spiritual support. Read more...

Poetry | Issue 24

Posted 4:57pm Sunday 16th September 2012 by Staff Reporter

Round and round it turns, Taking its time as it rolls uphill; Turning so slowly that You’d need to etch A groove upon its circumference To track its progress. You visit the site, Where the wheel is, Once—or maybe twice—a week And record the position of the groove, Read more...

In 'da House | Issue 24

Posted 4:57pm Sunday 16th September 2012 by Holly Walker

In my second year at Otago, I went to bed each night wearing thermals under my flannel pyjamas, and slept under two duvets and a sleeping bag. In my third year, ice formed on the inside of my bedroom windows overnight. In my fourth year, strange black liquid ran down the hallway wall. You Read more...

Sex at The Dinner Table | Issue 24

Posted 4:57pm Sunday 16th September 2012 by Checker-out St Flat

Our student poverty has reached a new level: we bake our own bread. “Shane, shouldn’t you get the bread out of the oven?” Louise asked. “Good point,” I said, checking my watch. “It’s basically due.” “Ha!” Louise yelled. “It’s in the oven and it’s Jew!” “Well, they are Read more...

Microbiographia | Issue 24

Posted 4:57pm Sunday 16th September 2012 by Toby Newberry

Roughly 500 years ago, Nicolaus Copernicus wrote a book, the gist of which was: “Hey guys, the Earth isn’t the centre of the universe, it actually goes around the Sun, lol.” Good job Copernicus. But wait, there’s more: 1800 years before Copernicus, another chap wrote a book (or scroll, whatevs) that Read more...

For The Record | Issue 24

Posted 4:57pm Sunday 16th September 2012 by Lukas Clark-Memler

Mentioning Nickelback is a surefire way of attracting attention. It worked, didn’t it? You saw the title and immediately dived into this column with knee-jerk cynicism, eager to mock and insult my music taste. But why, exactly, do you hate the world’s most hated band? No, I don’t love Read more...

Straight Up | Issue 24

Posted 4:57pm Sunday 16th September 2012 by La Dida

This week I met my former high school principal while I was speaking at a seminar. I had been fantasising for years about what this moment would be like. In my fantasy I would do something outrageous that would make her deeply uncomfortable. Or, perhaps equally outrageously, I would tell the Read more...

Notes on a Scandal | Issue 24

Posted 4:57pm Sunday 16th September 2012 by Brittany Mann

This is a bit of a departure from tradition – I’ve suddenly gone all PETA on yo’ asses. But as they say, animals are people too. Elephants, for example, mourn and bury their dead, and can suffer from post-traumatic stress disorder. Given the current situation in the Democratic Republic of Congo Read more...

Yes We Might! | Issue 24

Posted 4:57pm Sunday 16th September 2012 by Creepy Uncle Sam

I don’t care what you say, Timothy Dalton was a great James Bond. As I watched Obama’s – let’s face it – boring speech at the Democratic National Convention, the same thought kept running through my mind. Is Obama George Lazenby? Or is he Timothy Dalton? We all know that Obama’s been a Read more...

Me Love You Long Time | Issue 24

Posted 4:57pm Sunday 16th September 2012 by Lovebirds

ChrisI know I shouldn’t have eaten dinner, but the aroma of fresh curry was too alluring. Justifying it to myself by saying that the food at Metro would just be “nibbles” I tucked into one-and-half helpings of flat-made Thai and half a small glass of Jim Bean bourbon in an attempt to combat nerves. Read more...

Editorial | Issue 24

Posted 4:57pm Sunday 16th September 2012 by Joe Stockman

It’s OUSA Art Week this week, so Critic have turned the laser beam of our attention to the art world. Zane Pocock explores the local art world and where it might be headed, Katie Kenny takes a look at creativity and its place in tertiary education, and Books Editor Josef Alton compares the two Read more...

Te Roopu | Issue 23

Posted 4:03pm Sunday 9th September 2012 by Lisa Pohatu

“With your basket and my basket the people will live” This whakatauki refers to the co-operation of all in order to get things done. This was exemplified during the mid-semester break at Te Huinga Tauira. A small contingent of 50 tauira of the 1600-plus Māori students enrolled at the Read more...

Poetry | Issue 23

Posted 4:03pm Sunday 9th September 2012 by Staff Reporter

The pieces, they project into the hearts of those surrounding me. Slicing through their thin delicate chest cavities. And when my heart-pieces collide with their whole hearts, they explode, and so do the hearts. And then their pieces fly Read more...

ODT Watch | Issue 23

Posted 4:03pm Sunday 9th September 2012 by Staff Reporter

The ODT sometimes struggles with the difference between the literal and the figurative. See, when someone says something like “I could literally eat a horse”, they actually mean “I could figuratively eat a horse”. You can see how things get confusing. But when ol’ Justin Stonelake got figurative, Read more...

In 'da House | Issue 23

Posted 4:03pm Sunday 9th September 2012 by Holly Walker

One of the cool things about being an MP is that you get to do stuff you would never otherwise do. If you express an interest in something, usually someone is only too happy to show you around, provide you with information, or host you for a visit. It’s a privileged position, and it still Read more...

Sex at The Dinner Table | Issue 23

Posted 4:03pm Sunday 9th September 2012 by Checker-out St Flat

Tearing apart the terrifying yearnings of a middle-aged woman that make up the novel Fifty Shades of Grey is an endlessly amusing pastime for my friends and I. The novel’s pages, which ooze with post-pregnancy-sexually-repressed fantasies and E. L. James’ overuse of the terms “inner-goddess” and “oh Read more...

Diatribe | Issue 23

Posted 4:03pm Sunday 9th September 2012 by Dan Benson-Guiu

Political shit happens every day at uni. The views, debates, and petitions are endless, but most students shy away from issues that truly concern them. “For fuck’s sake”, you’re thinking, about to turn the page. No, stop! I’m not telling you what political party to vote for or what to believe Read more...

Microbiographia | Issue 23

Posted 4:03pm Sunday 9th September 2012 by Toby Newberry

Royalty, some might think, ought to be excluded from the class of “obscure historical figures” by default. Ruling an empire, nation, duchy, or whatever no doubt entails a fair measure of celebrity during the time that you rule, but the caveat “during the time that you rule” is important. The sheer Read more...

For The Record | Issue 23

Posted 4:03pm Sunday 9th September 2012 by Lukas Clark-Memler

As a society, we’re obsessed with labels. So it’s no surprise that we’ve given names to the past few generations. We’ve pigeonholed and generalised, using war as a simplistic reference: the “Greatest” lived through it, the “Boomers” protested it, and “Gen X” ignored it. I recently read an Read more...

Straight Up | Issue 23

Posted 4:03pm Sunday 9th September 2012 by La Dida

It seems like rape has been all over the news recently, and often in ways I find problematic. I don’t want to write about Julian Assange or Hell pizza; others have done a brilliant job of tearing those two issues apart already. Instead, I want to look at rape from an intersectional queer Read more...

Notes on a Scandal | Issue 23

Posted 4:03pm Sunday 9th September 2012 by Brittany Mann

I once did some volunteer work for a guy who was a thalidomide victim. In a departure from my usual linguistic prowess, I came home from my first day and announced with appropriate gravitas, “He was a formaldehyde baby, you know.” Whilst I still struggle to pronounce the name of the infamous Read more...

Yes We Might! | Issue 23

Posted 4:03pm Sunday 9th September 2012 by Creepy Uncle Sam

Tonight, after finishing my politics reading (yes, I study politics – just thought I’d drip-feed a small teaser of the wildly popular “Who Is Creepy Uncle Sam?” meme that I’m sure will exist one of these days), I found my brain utterly wearied – the result, no doubt, of trying to infer the existence Read more...

Me Love You Long Time | Issue 23

Posted 4:03pm Sunday 9th September 2012 by Lovebirds

None of you read this anyway. It’s just that little weird standfirst bit above the action below. But anyway ... The Blind Date has been at Metro bar for the last few weeks, and it sounds like they’ve been putting on quite a show. Great feed, good drinks, excellent service etc etc. If you want in on Read more...

Editorial | Issue 23

Posted 4:03pm Sunday 9th September 2012 by Joe Stockman

It’s not unusual to hear people say that they don’t care about politics (“don’t give a fuck” might be a more precise quote). However many times I hear it said, it never ceases to amaze me. Failing to care about politics is a fundamental misunderstanding of how we control our lives. Politics Read more...

Dunedin’s Hebrew Hood

Posted 5:17pm Sunday 2nd September 2012 by Matthew Shrimpton

The bottom of New Zealand’s South Island is not the first place that springs to mind when you think of Jews, but Dunedin has been home to some familiar and not-so-familiar Jewish names. In the 1800s, Bendix Hallenstein moved from Germany to Dunedin. Finding it hard to source quality menswear from Read more...

ODT Watch | Issue 22

Posted 5:17pm Sunday 2nd September 2012 by Staff Reporter

You probably don’t realise just how good the ODT is. In fact, it’s so good that it’s been nominated (again) for Newspaper of the Year at the upcoming New Zealand Media Awards. But there’s more — it’s been nominated for the “Young readers” category. That’s right — the ODT, the oldest, whitest, most Read more...

Poetry | Issue 22

Posted 5:17pm Sunday 2nd September 2012 by Dan Luoni

A poem is an animal. You can love an animal too much, Like when my brother hugged His kindergarten hamster Too hard. When you love it too much It dies. You squeeze out the Eyes and blood and shit and soul, And then you are covered In shit and blood and you have a Read more...

In 'da House | Issue 22

Posted 5:17pm Sunday 2nd September 2012 by Holly Walker

I recently survived a live interview on Morning Report, head-to-head with Winston Peters. I figure that has to be some kind of political rite of passage. The topic was MMP and how to improve it. When 58% of New Zealanders voted to keep MMP, we triggered a review of the system. Over 4,500 Read more...

Sex at The Dinner Table | Issue 22

Posted 5:17pm Sunday 2nd September 2012 by Checker-out St Flat

The flat was empty last Friday, as my other flatmates both decided to go away for the weekend. My vagina and I were left alone for some quality time. However, after some serious sexual pondering, I started to think less about the practical and more about the theory of what it takes to pleasure a Read more...

Diatribe | Issue 22

Posted 5:17pm Sunday 2nd September 2012 by Rape Crisis Dunedin

SlutWalk originated in 2011 in Toronto when a police officer told a group of women that if they didn’t want to get raped they should avoid dressing like “sluts”. SlutWalk was a response to the attitudes expressed by this officer and the culture which blames survivors and excuse perpetrators. Read more...

Microbiographia | Issue 22

Posted 5:17pm Sunday 2nd September 2012 by Toby Newberry

Today we focus less on the “historical” side of the column and more on the “lesser-known/interesting” side. Christophe Rocancourt, still alive today, is a real-life gentleman thief. He spent most of the last 40 years swindling rich Americans out of their riches. Rocancourt was born in Read more...

Notes on a Scandal | Issue 22

Posted 5:17pm Sunday 2nd September 2012 by Brittany Mann

This week’s column is about what you might call a Frankenconflict (a word I made up just now). The details read like Auschwitz, Nanking, and Srebrenica rolled into one. Without further ado, I’ll let you in on this dirty secret going down in our own backyard. West Papua is in the western half Read more...

Yes We Might! | Issue 22

Posted 5:17pm Sunday 2nd September 2012 by Creepy Uncle Sam

The wires have been abuzz over the last two weeks, with a series of headlines in the vein of “Old White Republican Man in Misogyny Shocker!” Rep. Paul Akin and his groundbreaking gynaecological theory (which, in case you missed it, was that in cases of “legitimate rape” a woman’s ovaries shut down, Read more...

For The Record | Issue 22

Posted 5:17pm Sunday 2nd September 2012 by Lukas Clark-Memler

Music and movies are a great pair — some might even say they go together like cocaine and waffles. While film scores and musicals are the most obvious spawn of this relationship, I’d like to turn your attention towards the technique referred to in industry-speak as “needle dropping”: when a score is Read more...

Straight Up | Issue 22

Posted 5:17pm Sunday 2nd September 2012 by La Dida

This week I was pleased to see Jonah Lomu on my TV screen raising awareness about the Live Below the Line campaign, which seeks to raise awareness about the experiences of the approximately 1.4 billion people worldwide who live in extreme poverty. The New Zealand equivalent of the extreme poverty Read more...

Me Love You Long Time | Issue 22

Posted 5:17pm Sunday 2nd September 2012 by Lovebirds

None of you read this anyway. It’s just that little weird standfirst bit above the action below. But anyway ... The Blind Date has been at Metro bar for the last few weeks, and it sounds like they’ve been putting on quite a show. Great feed, good drinks, excellent service etc etc. If you want in on Read more...

Editorial | Issue 22

Posted 5:17pm Sunday 2nd September 2012 by Joe Stockman

“We sleep safe in our beds because rough men stand ready in the night to visit violence on those who would do us harm.” – George Orwell A country in central Asia is wracked with violence. The police and army are attacked in the streets, and the rebels, funded with profits from narcotics, Read more...

Te Roopu Māori | Issue 21

Posted 4:26pm Sunday 19th August 2012 by Lisa Pohatu

With the mid-semester break fast approaching, most of us will use the time off to make a dent in that pile of assignments or get ahead on those exams. However, this mid-semester break we have approximately 50 Te Roopū Māori students hosting 200+ Māori students for the national Read more...

Poetry | Issue 21

Posted 4:26pm Sunday 19th August 2012 by Staff Reporter

ACTION DEVOTION ADDICTION EXPECTATION REJECTION REFLECTION INTROSPECTION INACTION APPARITION ATTRACTION INFATUATION INTENTION DETERMINATION INTRODUCTION DECEPTION NOTION OPTION PROPOSITION NEGOTIATION INVITATION SEDUCTION POSITION FUNCTION MOTION JUNCTION Read more...

ODT Watch | Issue 21

Posted 4:26pm Sunday 19th August 2012 by Staff Reporter

If you really need the “dangers” of euthanasia explained to you before you try it out, you’re probably failing to understand the general concept: The ODT put this right next to an image of Ostapchuk wearing her gold medal. I think that might be the motivation right there, Read more...

In 'da House | Issue 21

Posted 4:26pm Sunday 19th August 2012 by Holly Walker

Students and Members of Parliament have one thing in common: everyone knows they have a drinking problem. It’s not uncommon to hear rumours of “legendary” escapades float along the corridors of power, involving past and present national figures, excessive alcohol consumption, extra-marital Read more...

Sex at The Dinner Table | Issue 21

Posted 4:26pm Sunday 19th August 2012 by Checker-out St Flat

Again, we found ourselves around the dinner table. This time, Nina was treating us to spaghetti carbonara and hearty servings of wine and gossip. I noticed Shane seemed a bit preoccupied with his crotch. Every few minutes his hand would venture down there, then he’d make a quick visit to the Read more...

Diatribe | Issue 21

Posted 4:26pm Sunday 19th August 2012 by Caleb Wicks

In case you missed the memo, zombies are the new big thing. They have appeared in fiction, movies, games, poetry, and a few of my sexual fantasies. Screw werewolves, vampires, and fairies who claim they are vampires (that means you Eddy Cullen you sparkly bastard!). Zombies are the new wet dream of Read more...

Microbiographia | Issue 21

Posted 4:26pm Sunday 19th August 2012 by Toby Newberry

Today we pay a visit to medieval Germany*: a land of kings, nuns, and rampant mysticism. Resident there for most of the Twelfth Century was Hildegard of Bingen. She was, among other things, a musician, healer, writer, and mystic. The tenth child of a minor noble, Hildegard was given over to Read more...

For The Record | Issue 21

Posted 4:26pm Sunday 19th August 2012 by Lukas Clark-Memler

I will begin with a confession, perhaps even a blooming one. I came up with the title of this column long before I sat down, tired and aching after a particularly gruelling and ultimately pointless economics tutorial, and wrote the piece. I often do that — dream up a title first, that is, not waste Read more...

Straight Up | Issue 21

Posted 4:26pm Sunday 19th August 2012 by La Dida

From the moment Louisa Wall’s Marriage Equality Bill popped up on Facebook, I began preparing myself for the worst. The first thought that elbowed its way into my consciousness was not a celebratory “Oh yay, marriage – finally!”, it was a defensive “Shit, how ugly is Read more...

Notes on a Scandal | Issue 21

Posted 4:26pm Sunday 19th August 2012 by Brittany Mann

Three weeks ago I attended my first-ever protest, organised by the Organisation for Global Nonviolent Action (OGNA) on campus. I figured it’d be rude not to go, given that my academic raison d’être is ostensibly nonviolence. Also, as I’m in the twilight years of my university career, it was about Read more...

Yes We Might! | Issue 21

Posted 4:26pm Sunday 19th August 2012 by Creepy Uncle Sam

Last Saturday, Romney confirmed Paul Ryan, a 42-year-old Wisconsin congressman, as his Vice-Presidential running mate. Various US hacks immediately churned out a series of useless factoids: naming Ryan the “most conservative” VP candidate ever, obsessing over his ideological debt to libertarian Read more...

Me Love You Long Time | Issue 21

Posted 4:26pm Sunday 19th August 2012 by Lovebirds

None of you read this anyway. It’s just that little weird standfirst bit above the action below. But anyway ... The Blind Date has been at Metro bar for the last few weeks, and it sounds like they’ve been puttin on quite a show. Great feed, good drinks, excellent service etc etc. If you want in on Read more...

Editorial | Issue 21

Posted 4:26pm Sunday 19th August 2012 by Callum Fredric

Howdy people, Callum the News Editor here with a guest editorial. You may remember me from such educational articles as “The Cumberland Ghost” and “Margaret Mahy: She Dead”. Through a combination of Joe’s sloth and my desire for a propaganda vehicle, I’m writing the editorial this week. Let’s Read more...

Turangawaewae | Issue 20

Posted 5:14pm Sunday 12th August 2012 by Mike Wright

Where is your turangawaewae, your place to stand? The place where you feel a sense of community and belonging and identity; where you feel most loved, valued and supported; where you feel “at home”? Where is it? For some it’s a physical place: a mountain, river, beach, or lake. Perhaps it’s Read more...

Poetry | Issue 20

Posted 5:14pm Sunday 12th August 2012 by Staff Reporter

I will never compare you To some bright flower Stranded in mud. And I do not care for The songs birds sing, Or the smell of rain. I’ve never found bliss In a summer sunset. I’m colour blind And I find the sun Far too predictable. I would never hold you up As some Read more...

ODT Watch | Issue 20

Posted 5:14pm Sunday 12th August 2012 by

ODT’s resident journalist extraordinaire Dave C had a couple of days off last week, which meant less shit chat to tear apart. He was back on Wednesday however with some existential musings Why indeed Dave; why indeed? Meanwhile in Lawrence, there Read more...

In 'da House | Issue 20

Posted 5:14pm Sunday 12th August 2012 by Holly Walker

It is a little-known fact that new MPs get a formal induction from Parliamentary Services. Last December, I lined up with the rest of the “class of 2011” (including such luminaries as Maggie Barry and Richard Prosser) for my introduction to Parliament. It’s fair to say that much of what we Read more...

Sex at The Dinner Table | Issue 20

Posted 5:14pm Sunday 12th August 2012 by Checker-out St Flat

At last we were all able to sit around the table again, and boy was Tim on fire tonight. His conversational topic of choice? Different undergrad majors. L: I’d imagine law students are pretty frisky thanks to encountering morbid cases all the time. T: They probably get partners to sign Read more...

Diatribe | Issue 20

Posted 5:14pm Sunday 12th August 2012 by Emile Donovan

Enjoying as I do a frothy caramel latte as much as the next/other heterosexual male English student at Otago University, I decided last week to bite the proverbial bullet and splurge, in the least pleasurable way possible, on a 10-pack of your Moccona Frothy Caramel Latte sachets, on special for Read more...

Microbiographia | Issue 20

Posted 5:14pm Sunday 12th August 2012 by Toby Newberry

Ok, here’s how I’ma lay it down this week. We’ll kick off with a little historical context, just to keep it real. Then I’ll dive into a couple of choice anecdotes: brace yourselves for a guy falling off a donkey. Finally, I’ll give some time to Saint Thomas’ work itself – work that certainly merits Read more...

For The Record | Issue 20

Posted 5:14pm Sunday 12th August 2012 by Lukas Clark-Memler

Most of us can pinpoint the exact moment our love of a certain artist began. It was my father’s rendition of Bob Dylan’s humorous bootleg “Talkin’ Bear Mountain Picnic Massacre Blues” that set in motion my own grand musical love-affair. My Dad was a passionate Dylan fan, and from an early age I was Read more...

Straight Up | Issue 20

Posted 5:14pm Sunday 12th August 2012 by La Dida

Mama - how do you stay so fabulous? What’s your secret? – Grrrrl Thursday Oh Grrrrrrrl! There is no secret, Mama is an open book. Staying fabulous is more of an art than a science. For me it involves a lot of perfume. Seriously. Perfume lifts a grrrl up. And with perfume, more is Read more...

Notes on a Scandal | Issue 20

Posted 5:14pm Sunday 12th August 2012 by Brittany Mann

I had almost finished my column for this week when I read that two New Zealand soldiers very recently died in Afghanistan. The “Breaking News” snippet on Stuff was a nigh-perfect example of how media framing influences how we understand a conflict. The words “personnel”, “team”, and “help” were used Read more...

Yes We Might! | Issue 20

Posted 5:14pm Sunday 12th August 2012 by Creepy Uncle Sam

{data entry: 07/25/12} I left for my world tour today. Feeling a little bit //emotion:[nervous]. If I spend too much time away from my programmers in the US my mainframe begins to disintegrate and I am prone to malfunction. My tour begins in //:[UnitedKingdom]. Today one of my advisors claimed that Read more...

Me Love You Long Time | Issue 20

Posted 5:14pm Sunday 12th August 2012 by Lovebirds

Critic’s blind date column has been running for a while now. We’ve all got some good laughs out of it, and at least a few people have scored themselves a night of romance. But here at Critic we feel that it’s time that we stepped it up a notch. The date is now at Metro to add a little more spice. If Read more...

Editorial | Issue 20

Posted 5:14pm Sunday 12th August 2012 by Joe Stockman

While admittedly I have not spent much time researching it, I have always thought, based on the most circumstantial of evidence, that there was no institutional gender imbalance at Otago. That, amongst students at least, there was gender equality. However, take a slightly closer look and Read more...

Te Roopu Māori | Issue 19

Posted 4:49pm Sunday 5th August 2012 by Lisa Pohatu

Time has flown by so fast. It appears it’s that time of the year when a lot of the freshers are out being annoying and knocking on doors. As an older student, I feel it is my duty to share some of my experiences when looking for a flat. Some key considerations include rent, location, gender Read more...

Poetry | Issue 19

Posted 4:49pm Sunday 5th August 2012 by Staff Reporter

BOI my boy wears my heart on black thread around his neck and its just a symbol - if it breaks, he still has me MATH LOV kicking buckets under the table, and falling in love and falling over into daisies. U+ME don’t set the hounds on me i’m just Read more...

ODT Watch | Issue 19

Posted 4:49pm Sunday 5th August 2012 by

Peter Dunne is working on drug legislation, which the ODT has reported on with its usual hilarity: Conversely, it missed a prime pun opportunity with its coverage of the woman who was hit by a car on Moray Place: They failed to report that she was “bowled over” with Read more...

In 'da House | Issue 19

Posted 4:49pm Sunday 5th August 2012 by Holly Walker

The system for debating members’ bills in Parliament has been in the spotlight lately. Last week, three opposition members’ bills passed their first readings in Parliament – a rare occurrence – and a couple of exciting new ones were drawn from the ballot, including Louisa Wall’s Marriage Equality Read more...

Sex at The Dinner Table | Issue 19

Posted 4:49pm Sunday 5th August 2012 by Checker-out St Flat

The column was due last night, and no one was particularly motivated to write anything. Only four weeks into the ordeal it seemed we had already run out of zucchini, masturbation stories, and blatant VICE rip-offs. Surprisingly, however, this led to us writing said column the way we first imagined Read more...

Diatribe | Issue 19

Posted 4:49pm Sunday 5th August 2012 by Sasha Borissenko

Now this is the story all about how My gay marriage views got flipped, turned upside down And I’d like to take a minute just sit right there I’ll tell you how I came to advocate a position that’s fair. In rural Philippines I was born and raised, Observing Catholicism was how I Read more...

Microbiographia | Issue 19

Posted 4:49pm Sunday 5th August 2012 by Toby Newberry

30 May 1832. Paris at dawn. Two men stand back-to-back, loaded pistols at their sides. With the nervous precision found only in those facing their own mortality, they begin to walk apart. One of the men is unknown to history, and the reasons for the duel are also lost. What we know is that this man Read more...

For The Record | Issue 19

Posted 4:49pm Sunday 5th August 2012 by Lukas Clark-Memler

“When people ask if firearms are too accessible in America, they might as well ask if religion and speech are too free.” – Senator Larry Craig The nightmarish massacre in Colorado has spurred media pundits across the world to question the future of the cinema. Opinions vary, but a number of Read more...

Straight Up | Issue 19

Posted 4:49pm Sunday 5th August 2012 by La Dida

In this column I thought I’d give myself some space to reply to words people have called me, and I suspect many other queer/trans folks too. These are words some of us internalise and begin to use to describe ourselves. I am writing this column because often I haven’t been able to Read more...

Notes on a Scandal | Issue 19

Posted 4:49pm Sunday 5th August 2012 by Brittany Mann

I have a friend who has done some work for the UN. Despite never having been employed by anyone even remotely worthy of mention, I nevertheless like to pipe up when she mentions it, usually in the form of a snobby comment along the lines of: “But how can you sleep at night knowing you’ve sold your Read more...

Yes We Might! | Issue 19

Posted 4:49pm Sunday 5th August 2012 by Creepy Uncle Sam

Glenn Beck drove sadly home, a great weight on his chest. This weight was a symptom not of Beck’s high cholesterol, but of the President’s refusal to appear on Beck’s radio show. No matter – by morning the weight would be gone, swallowed into his torso by the raging beast of righteousness that Read more...

Me Love You Long Time | Issue 19

Posted 4:49pm Sunday 5th August 2012 by Lovebirds

Critic’s blind date column has been running for a while now. We’ve all got some good laughs out of it, and at least a few people have scored themselves a night of romance. But here at Critic we feel that it’s time that we stepped it up a notch. The date is now at Metro to add a little more spice. If Read more...

Editorial | Issue 19

Posted 4:49pm Sunday 5th August 2012 by Joe Stockman

Hey first years, how you doing? I hope you’re really enjoying your hall of residence. And geez, I bet you are really really excited about going flatting next year. I fondly remember my first flatting experience: the politics of trying to get a group of friends together to head out flat hunting, and Read more...

Diatribe | Issue 18

Posted 2:45pm Sunday 29th July 2012 by Dan Luoni

As a stereotypical arts student, I’ve been feeling besieged lately. The government is talking of tying education funding to job opportunities, smoking is being made financially crippling, and now they’re onto booze. Art, durries, booze: all of the vices that make life worth living are being Read more...

Microbiographia | Issue 18

Posted 2:41pm Sunday 29th July 2012 by Toby Newberry

So today I’ll be trying to remedy the anticipated Euro-centric subject bias mentioned in my first column (cos everyone remembers what I wrote three weeks ago). Basically, this means the subject is Eastern: Japanese, to be precise. Tomoe Gozen lived in the late 1100s, when Japan was rife with Read more...

Ramadan | Issue 18

Posted 2:15pm Sunday 29th July 2012 by Mostafa Amer

Muslim adults around the world except the sick, infirm and those travelling are currently fasting every day, from dawn till sunset, during this blessed month of Ramadan. Ramadan is about meeting the challenge of not only curbing our appetite from the basic needs of food, water, and worldly Read more...

ODT Watch | Issue 18

Posted 2:15pm Sunday 29th July 2012 by

Dave Cannan’s “The Wash” documents the daily non-events of Dunedin’s mediocre affairs, or “phenomena” as Cannan would say. This week, a thrilling mystery: A member of the public spotted a picture saying “Joe loves Jill”: I think they’re lesbians, Dave. Dave also had some Read more...