Columns

Hi everybody!

For many of you, this is your first year of University. Welcome – you’ll love it here! For some of you, this is your last year of University. Welcome back! Savour these moments – what a blast the past three or four years have been! For a few of you, like me, this is your sixth year of University. Good god, why the fuck are we still here?

Regardless of your age, and whether you came here to “Take Your Place in the World,” “Get Over It,” or because “You Are Dunedin,” there’s one thing you have to learn here at uni, and that is how to look after your health.

Your university years are like nothing you have experienced so far (unless, of course, this is your second degree). They’re a time during which you will repeatedly abuse your liver, stay up later than you ever thought possible, and put your eyesight to the ultimate test trying to decipher the tiny writing on your “one side of A4” cheat sheet.

In this column I’m going to try to tackle some of the big health issues facing people our age (unless, of course, you’re one of those strange “mature students”), but there’s one issue that I want to tackle straight away: General Practitioners.

I reckon being a GP is the easiest job in medicine. Nod and smile and avoid pissing off the practice nurses and you can coast through your day and be home in time for tea. The hardest job in medicine, however, is being a good GP. A true GP deals with everything from childhood vaccinations to palliative care, and finds a way to help each and every one of their patients. A good GP is like a Unicol girl’s virginity after O-Week – a rare and delicate little flower that should be treasured.

There’s a lot of choice in Dunedin’s GP market, so I’d encourage you to let Adam Smith’s invisible hands pull you off to one of them. Student Health is a great place to start, as they specialise in the health of students – funny that.

At the end of the day, you’re gonna be here in Scarfieville for a while, so you should find a doc you like early. Whether it’s Cumbie Conjunctivitis in first year, inhaling that strange black mould in your second year flat, or acquiring the pretentious stick you apparently need surgically inserted into your ass to become a post-grad, there’s always gonna be a need for a good local quack. So find one and get in touch early.