Columns

Proctology – 29

Like ships in the night, Critic Te Ārohi and the Proctor haven’t been in direct contact for a while. Our communication has mostly been through Uni Comms media statements – like toxic exes that use their child to communicate. “Well, you can tell your father that I said…” But we’re back in the clinic now to talk about all things Proctor. If you’re new here, Proctology is the branch of...

From the Pātaka

A few weeks into the semester, and the pace has already picked up for Te Rito. Between fresher flu outbreaks, the tamest St. Paddy’s Day of the decade, and the slow disappearance of week-one motivation, TRM has been doing its part to keep things interesting. Naturally, there are a few things worth talking about. Something Spicy First up: the recent Special General Meeting. SGMs have a reputation, and this one delivered exactly what...

Editorial: I Became Friends with a Thirty-One Year Old – And You Should Too

I met David in line for a concert in Auckland a couple months back. I was faced with the feat of attending a gig alone, as someone who is a victim of a relatively insufferable music taste and introvertism. Despite not having mates by my side, it wouldn’t motivate me any further to face my fears and talk to a stranger. I arrived with a long wait before doors opened, and stood silently in a zig-zagged queue, feeling what felt like real sun...

OUSA Exec: Happy Saint Paddy’s (belated)

Kia ora students, Happy Saint Patrick’s Day to all those who celebrated last Tuesday. Whether you were up well before the sunrise kitted out in green, or simply enjoying the sunshine between classes, the vibe around campus was unreal. The weather played ball in a rare Dunedin W, and there were no major incidents reported. The annual wave of UC students came and went without leaving a trail of destruction, and even the...

Booze Review: Miami Wine Cooler

Here lay the bodies of Swig60, our former and beloved Booze Reviewers… Nah. Sike, cuz! They just got a little too rowdy on Paddy’s and now can't even look at alcohol. Let alone write...

Crossword Answers - Issue 5 2026

ACROSS 1 Metal band responsible for songs like 'Chop Suey' 8 Broadcasting 9 Book of the Bible containing hymns and such 10 Common version of Google 11 Doing nothing 12 Teased and...

Taurus Your inner child is running away from you. As you sit through your unnecessarily long lecture, you will wish you were still a kid who didn't have to put up with lectures and assignments. But enjoy the phase you're in right now, because...

Moaningful: DO NOT BLOW ME LIKE A FUCKING WHISTLE, BABY!

From the clickbait title, I would like to preface that I am a woman and not a whistle. There was a guy I was seeing and he was...

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