This column is a word-for-word transcript of an actual message received by Critic’s online dating profile. You can’t make this shit up.
Lovebird 1
Hi J , maybe you are a bit different , and i think that is really so nice . You appear very honest and open too.
And im too old for a relationship, damnit . But i can be really good company , as im sure you are too.
I live in Balclutha and im just home from Dunedin now , i saw the movie "I will give it a year" and it didnt start until 820 , its does only take me 1 hour to drive home .
I am divorced and have lived alone for more than 10 years , i like my independence , but i also love the company of bright , smart women.
I would love to hear from you , but i understand if you would sooner wait for that special younger guy .
I wish you success and happiness.
cheers G
Lovebird 2
what if arts and crafts meant making merkins together in front of the fire to use as props in some exotic 60s sexy role plays? and what if instead of masterchef we watched the live video playback of us as we get down and dirty, hot and heavy?
or just fuck hard and dirty until you are quivering and spent and begging to given a rest