This column is a word-for-word transcript of an actual message received by Critic’s online dating profile. You can’t make this shit up.
Subject: A hot proposition for you!
Hey baby girl you sound delicious! This dirty daddy dom would luv to get his filthy old hands on you're fine form and teach you how to please him! So if you have any interest in a light exploration of the bdsm world at all I'm here to help! I'm also a sweet and generous daddy who will spoil you in all ways and treat you like a princess, If your interested tell daddy all your wants and desires and he will make them happen for his princess if he can!