Columns

This week scientific progress abounds, and a cultural icon is born.

6 March, 1869: Dmitri Mendeleev presented the first periodic table to the Russian Chemical Society, which was particularly impressive because he’d left spaces for elements that apparently didn’t exist. The relevant authorities scorned him for it, but he was right, and several elements were later discovered that fit perfectly into the table (everyone else had presumably just been jealous because they hadn’t thought of it). Mendeleev’s career was not free of scandal – the Russian Academy of Sciences wouldn’t let him in because he was a bigamist, and he didn’t get the Nobel Prize because he’d criticised the work of someone on the committee. He became internationally famous anyway, and did important work in physical chemistry and introduced the metric system to the Russian Empire. He was also involved in the creation of a law in Russia which stipulated that all vodka was to be produced at 40%, which is perhaps chemistry’s true purpose.

10 March, 1876: In one of many technological milestones embroiled in patent-based controversy, Alexander Graham Bell made the first successful telephone call with the entirely forgettable phrase “Mr Watson, come here, I want to see you.” Telephonic communication has spawned alleged brain cancer, telemarketers, and many an ill-advised break-up, but is probably still more efficient than Morse code. The telephone arrived in New Zealand surprisingly quickly, only a year or two after it was patented; the most recent noteworthy telephone-related news here occurred during the Tea Tape debacle, in which John Key gave his personal phone number to John Banks and had to change it after the tape was leaked. One suspects that the majority of the calls he received were not from National supporters.

9 March, 1959: The Barbie doll made its debut in the United States. It was one of the first products with a marketing strategy based on extensive television advertising; presumably this is how it became so widely recognised as to be called “a symbol of decadence to the perverted West,” among other things. There are now more than 100,000 avid Barbie collectors, and according to its manufacturers three are sold every second. This popularity has continued despite some objections by concerned parents – one Barbie came with various temporary tattoos that apparently encouraged children to want real ones. Another said “math class is hard!” – as yet there has been no word on whether these have had any effect on the moral fibre or educational achievement of recent generations.