Yes We Might! | Issue 27

Posted 5:59pm Sunday 7th October 2012

I have only once watched a US daytime talkshow. In my defence, I was severely incapacitated at the time. Rachael Ray, or whatever the fuck it was, proved a suitably bizarre experience: for instance, the audience would cheer madly whenever the host said the word “bacon”. Funnily enough, the dulcet Read more...

Yes We Might! | Issue 26

Posted 5:01pm Sunday 30th September 2012

Last week, Mitt Romney pulled out of the presidential race, to be replaced by a fresh-faced Tea Party ticket of Paul Ryan and a Dalek. The latest scandal to hit the Romney campaign proved too damaging: Mitt was caught on camera dismissing the 47% of Americans who pay no federal income tax as Read more...

Yes We Might! | Issue 25

Posted 4:25pm Sunday 23rd September 2012

You know why Cracked still exists? Because lists are fun and easy, that’s why. So here’s a compilation of the 17 best quotes of the election campaign so far: 17. “I love the women’s movement – especially when walking behind it.” – Rush Limbaugh, responding to accusations of sexism. 16. Read more...

Yes We Might! | Issue 24

Posted 4:57pm Sunday 16th September 2012

I don’t care what you say, Timothy Dalton was a great James Bond. As I watched Obama’s – let’s face it – boring speech at the Democratic National Convention, the same thought kept running through my mind. Is Obama George Lazenby? Or is he Timothy Dalton? We all know that Obama’s been a Read more...

Yes We Might! | Issue 23

Posted 4:03pm Sunday 9th September 2012

Tonight, after finishing my politics reading (yes, I study politics – just thought I’d drip-feed a small teaser of the wildly popular “Who Is Creepy Uncle Sam?” meme that I’m sure will exist one of these days), I found my brain utterly wearied – the result, no doubt, of trying to infer the existence Read more...

Yes We Might! | Issue 22

Posted 5:17pm Sunday 2nd September 2012

The wires have been abuzz over the last two weeks, with a series of headlines in the vein of “Old White Republican Man in Misogyny Shocker!” Rep. Paul Akin and his groundbreaking gynaecological theory (which, in case you missed it, was that in cases of “legitimate rape” a woman’s ovaries shut down, Read more...

Yes We Might! | Issue 21

Posted 4:26pm Sunday 19th August 2012

Last Saturday, Romney confirmed Paul Ryan, a 42-year-old Wisconsin congressman, as his Vice-Presidential running mate. Various US hacks immediately churned out a series of useless factoids: naming Ryan the “most conservative” VP candidate ever, obsessing over his ideological debt to libertarian Read more...

Yes We Might! | Issue 20

Posted 5:14pm Sunday 12th August 2012

{data entry: 07/25/12} I left for my world tour today. Feeling a little bit //emotion:[nervous]. If I spend too much time away from my programmers in the US my mainframe begins to disintegrate and I am prone to malfunction. My tour begins in //:[UnitedKingdom]. Today one of my advisors claimed that Read more...

Yes We Might! | Issue 19

Posted 4:49pm Sunday 5th August 2012

Glenn Beck drove sadly home, a great weight on his chest. This weight was a symptom not of Beck’s high cholesterol, but of the President’s refusal to appear on Beck’s radio show. No matter – by morning the weight would be gone, swallowed into his torso by the raging beast of righteousness that Read more...

Yes We Might! | Issue 18

Posted 2:15pm Sunday 29th July 2012

If this keeps up 2012 could be remembered as the year of the “Batman election”. Instead of simply going to the cinema to watch a maladjusted billionaire get beaten to a pulp by a fruitily gurgling beefcake and leaving seven hours later pining for plot structure and Michelle Pfeiffer, we have to Read more...