Yes We Might! | Issue 25

Yes We Might! | Issue 25

Critic’s list of arbitrary length on something random!!

You know why Cracked still exists? Because lists are fun and easy, that’s why. So here’s a compilation of the 17 best quotes of the election campaign so far:

17. “I love the women’s movement – especially when walking behind it.” – Rush Limbaugh, responding to accusations of sexism.

16. “Who let the dogs out? Who, who.” – Mitt Romney, while hanging out with black kids.

15. “Polls are for strippers and cross-country skiers.” – Sarah Palin.

14. “I’m not familiar precisely with what I said, but I’ll stand by what I said, whatever it was.” – Mitt Romney sticks to his guns.

13. “We will never have the elite, smart people on our side.” – Rick Santorum.

12. “A mere forty years ago, beach volleyball was just beginning. No bureaucrat would have invented it, and that’s what freedom is all about.” – Newt Gingrich, the political philosopher.

11. “I love this state. The trees are the right height.” – Mitt Romney in Michigan.

10. “The Middle East is obviously an issue that has plagued the region for centuries.” – Barack Obama.

9. “I think if we give Glenn Beck the numbers, he can solve this [the national debt].” – Michelle Bachmann.

8. “Corporations are people, my friend.” – Mitt Romney.

7. “The reforms we seek would bring greater competition, choice, savings and inefficiencies to our health care system.” – Barack Obama.

6. “I have two grandchildren – Maggie is 11, Robert is 9. I am convinced that if we do not decisively win the struggle over the nature of America, by the time they’re my age they will be in a secular atheist country, potentially one dominated by radical Islamists and with no understanding of what it once meant to be an American.” – Newt Gingrich, keeping the fear of secular Islamist atheists alive.

5. “I like being able to fire people who provide services to me.” – Mitt Romney on his idea of fun.

4. “Folks, I can tell you I’ve known eight presidents, three of them intimately.” – Joe Biden.

3. “I believe in an America where millions of Americans believe in an America that’s the America millions of Americans believe in. That’s the America I love.” – Mitt Romney.

2. “A third of all the young people in America are not in America today because of abortion.” – Rick Santorum on America’s Invisible Children infestation.

1. “My mother believed and my father believed that if I wanted to be president of the United States, I could be, I could be Vice President!” – Joe Biden on the American Dream.
This article first appeared in Issue 25, 2012.
Posted 4:25pm Sunday 23rd September 2012 by Creepy Uncle Sam.