Columns

Dunedin exists on a different plane from the rest of the world. It’s a magical place, where money appears in your bank account every Tuesday, you can sleep until midday every day of the week, and there are very few consequences for anything you do.

No other town has the same sense of charm and mystique. I still remember driving into Dunedin for the first time – as my car reached the top of the hill overlooking the city from the north, I immediately fell in love with the place. Even the warm summer breeze is quintessentially, distinctively Dunedin. You know what I’m talking about.

Most people finish their degrees after four or five years in Dunedin and move to Wellington, Auckland, Australia, or London. It sounds very glam at the time, and people often claim to be sooo over Dunedin after the end of fourth year. But almost invariably, they end up missing the place hugely by March or April of their first year in the real world.

No one is immune. You too will miss Dunedin when you leave. All your friends live within walking distance. You can do 10-hour weeks for most of the year while getting paid. All your friends are students and thus are nearly always free to hang out. When you’re working full-time, don’t kid yourself that you’ll live the high life four times a week with the old gang, like Dunedin but with cooler bars. Your friends will be working long hours, having children, and living in remote suburbs on the outskirts of town. You will see them approximately ¼ as often.

These are the glory days. Make the most of your time in Neverland, and don’t waste your last couple of years in Dunedin feeling too old for the place.

Because of its magical, timeless nature, Dunedin is perfectly suited for fables of years gone by. People like Julian Stoner (see page 22) would struggle to last three days in the real world without resorting to charity, yet he lasted three full years in Dunedin. Even baby boomers can enjoy their midlife crises without ever truly comprehending the stereotypes they have become (see page 16).

But as in Michael Jackson’s Neverland and classic fables like Hansel and Gretel, the under-tens often face trials and tribulations in Dunedin – Maddy Phillipps dedicates a poem to the short life of the Little Foetus in the Pink Knitted Cap on page 24.

This week, a bright-eyed and bushy-tailed bunch of aspiring news writers take the first step toward making the most of their time in Neverland. Nine have written news articles. Only four will survive the brutal cull over the next few weeks. The Great Intern Massacre of 2013 will go down in Dunedin history as yet another real-life fable. Good luck to you all.