Columns

Hi everybody!

In a recent poll of the two guys with me at lunch, less than 50% of them had had a recent STI check despite being sexually active outside of a long-term relationship. I know epidemiology isn’t my strong suit, but I’m fairly sure the results of this incredibly scientific study apply to most uni students.

Now if you were absolutely rigorous about using condoms and knew every partner’s full sexual history then not testing might be ok. Let’s be honest though: this is Dunedin, home of Monkey Bar, so that’s not always the case.

I could go on and on about wearing a condom anytime you even look at somebody else, but we’re all aware that there are times where that just doesn’t happen. Whether by choice or accident, drunken excitement or improper technique, sometimes you’re simply not protected and are therefore at risk of catching stuff.

Now I know you’re not like that. You underwent a six-week training course on condom technique and always carry a bulletproof, refrigerated case loaded with condoms. You’re more prepared than an OCD boyscout so you’ll always be safe.

Nevertheless I want to tell you a story. It’s one of those stories that happens “to a friend,” but bear with it anyway.

See I have a “friend” who caught gonorrhoea last year after a night out. He’s a reasonably intelligent bloke (training to be a doctor in fact) so it’s not something my “friend” was expecting would ever happen to him. Mistakes do happen though and before you know it he was getting a shot of ceftriaxone to clear up his clap.

I’m sure if my “friend” had an opportunity to write a column about STIs, the moral would be this: if you’re at all concerned (or have a new partner) then go get tested because, no matter what you think, nobody is immune to STIs.

My “friend” didn’t have any symptoms (rashes, pain, pussy (that which pertains to pus) discharge etc), yet still was at just as much at risk of long term effects as somebody frothing away. Luckily he was smart enough to realise he dun goof’d and fronted up to pee in a cup and have a swab – no pain, no hassle, minimal awkwardness.

End of the day: to look after yourself, you need to front up. Don’t feel you’re going to be judged or lectured because, again, it’s nothing special for the doctor: they’re probably more concerned about what cheeses are available in the tea room than what cheese is coming from inside you. If in doubt, just get checked out.