An impulse buy at the end of a flat shopping trip at South Dunedin’s Pak ‘n’ Save has left four lucky second-year commerce boys reeling as their Lotto Powerball ticket landed them $20 million last week.
The blokes decided to split the cost of a Powerball ticket after one fellow noticed that his flatmate was wearing his shirt inside out (supposedly an omen of good fortune). The flatmate in question later admitted that it was a purposeful move to get a few more days’ use out of the “clean side” of his shirt.
Currently residing in a five-bedroom flat on Clyde Street, the freshly minted millionaires wish to remain anonymous, but generously agreed to give us an interview. As commerce students, they feel that sharing some of their financial plans may help set a good example for those less fortunate students who live week-to-week on the paltry StudyLink living costs, should they ever come into a stupidly huge sum of money.
When asked how they intend to spend their winnings, there were some interesting – and frankly disturbing – ideas thrown around during our conversation. All avid gamers, the young bucks have planned an elaborate red card in which they will “rent South Dunedin” for a real-life game of Grand Theft Auto. One informed us that he wants to hire a team of road workers to “flatten Clyde Street” so that he’ll no longer have to walk up a hill to get home from uni. Another went straight out and bought a plasma TV for his bedroom, as well as six shipping crates of DoBros that he now keeps padlocked in their sad excuse for a backyard. The (undiagnosed) megalomaniac of the group wants to purchase a really big safe, fill it with cash and swim around naked inside it.
When asked whether they intended to make any charitable donations or gifts to close friends and family, the resounding response was “fuck nah!” When we enquired after the other flatmate who wasn’t present for the fateful grocery run (and therefore had no part in the winnings), they claimed to have zero sympathy for him – although they acknowledged that he “must be gutted,” they stated that it “serves him right cos he steals our food.” As previously mentioned, the guys are all at the 200-level of a BCom, and told us that they plan to finish their degrees despite their recent windfall, reasoning that they have “already spent three years on this shit, so another four couldn’t hurt.” When Critic went to print, the boys were still attempting to calculate how to evenly split the $20 million four ways.
The Leek | Issue 03
Business as Usual for Lottery Winners
