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At this point in the year, dinner-time conversation has been replaced by the sound of highlighters moving across course materials. It’s exam season, and the air is pregnant with chaste frustration. Or so I thought. On our final Friday writing up this column, I would have never guessed that we had something to discuss. However, on an excursion to Tim’s room the night before, I was surprised. Unlike the time I had walked in on him and his robotic drone with a wig and whirling dildos, this time Tim wanted to discuss the ins and outs of casual sex and whether it can really stay “casual”. Although not as endearing as our other escapades, it is certainly a relevant topic as students get in their last one night stands before heading back to their hometowns.

The broad definition of casual sex is basically sex outside an intimate relationship. It can be anything from sex with a friend to sex with a person you have almost zero history with. On the one hand, casual sex can be seen as an experience or an endorsement of an exciting and presumably carefree orgasm. However, casual sex can’t always be as Hollywood-immaculate as Mila Kunis and Justin Timberlake’s vanilla exploits in Friends with Benefits. There are obviously a few things that you should and should not do with casual sex. Don’t ever forget to use protection (this is for girls AND guys), because you don’t want unwelcome guests like Mr STD or Mrs Fetus. Also, downing two bottles of red wine before hand is always going to turn out sloppy. But also consider why you want it. Sex can’t always stitch together an emotional wound that a past relationship has left behind. On a side note - sex alone will NEVER seal the relationship deal, contrary to the beliefs of 1 in 2 Cosmo readers.

We have such a poor education about the different physiological, psychological, and anatomical aspects of sex that sex almost instinctively bombards us with anxiety-ridden thoughts about ethics, morality, and Nick Jonas. Turning to porn is not much help either, with its portrayal of exaggerated and extremely generalised sex. What sex actually means, what it involves, and when you have it is completely up to you and your (consenting) partner. On an additional note, being an expert at making one person come does not mean you will be an expert with the next person you get down with - communication is essential, and you’d be an unsexy loser not to ask what feels good.

Alas, Sex at the Dinner Table has reached the final climax in its penetrating existence as a column. We hope you enjoyed the ride.