Archive

Booze Review: Sour Apple Cruisers

Posted 4:35pm Saturday 23rd March 2024 by Chunny Bill Swilliams

Critic was a bit late this St Patty’s to jump on the bandwagon and acquire the breatha’s Irish drink of choice: Lime Cruisers. We even mished to the unfamiliar territory of South Dunedin, but to no avail. We were left with the consolation prize, the ugly step-sister of this green and Read more...

Mi Goreng Graduate: Chocolate Mousse

Posted 4:33pm Saturday 23rd March 2024 by Ruby Hudson

Serves: 6 Time: 20 mins + 2 hrs cooling Bring on those sexual desires and impress that special someone with this smooth and luxurious choccy mousse. Since dark chocolate is packed full of aphrodisiac, this recipe is sure to get you in the mood. While I admit the whole aphrodisiac thing could be Read more...

Local Produce: Give Up

Posted 4:06pm Saturday 23rd March 2024 by Jordan Irvine

Give Up is the newest Ōtepoti shit-head post-punk band. They came to prominence last year after making the Bring the Noise finals, which was only their second gig. Now, after opening for Beet-wix and snagging a pint night slot, they’re rolling with the motion of the ocean and are keen to Read more...

Debatable: Should you watch porn?

Posted 4:04pm Saturday 23rd March 2024 by Abby Bowmar

TW: SA, mentions of abuse For You have an internet connection, an incognito tab, and 10 minutes (8? 5? 2?) on your hands. Put aside the guilt your Catholic primary school instilled in you, and remember to disconnect from your flat’s Bluetooth speaker.  Modern society Read more...

Do it Your Fucking Self: How to Breatha-fy Your Room

Posted 3:56pm Saturday 23rd March 2024 by Sam Smith-Soppet

As a former “dumb fresher fuck”, you’ve just moved into the big wide world. By that, we mean out of a hall, into a beat-as-fuck six-bedroom flat somewhere on Leith, Castle, Dundas or one of the other streets that almost guarantees you are never seeing your bond again. Your room Read more...

Takeaways: Week 5

Posted 3:41pm Saturday 23rd March 2024 by Critic

Something to watch 5 Broken Cameras  5 Broken Cameras is a documentary film from the perspective of Emad, a Palestinian man who captured first-hand the protests in Bil’in – a West Bank village that struggled against Israeli settlements encroaching on their land from 2005. The Read more...

Editorial: Hook-Up Culture is the New Cool Girl

Posted 3:38pm Saturday 23rd March 2024 by Nina Brown

Dunedin hook-up culture has gaslighted us all into prioritising male pleasure over female pleasure, and just accepting this as the norm. Women’s sexual enjoyment is swept aside, and being okay with this is added to the criteria of Cool Girl. You’re a Cool Girl if you have mediocre one Read more...

Horoscopes: Week 5

Posted 3:04pm Saturday 23rd March 2024 by Critic

Aquarius Your rizz is at an all-time high. Now’s the time to start talking to your lecturers and tutors nicely. Build that relationship so that when you inevitably forget to hand in assignments, there isn't too much blowback. Sexy-time song: ‘Close’ by Nick Jonas ft. Tove Read more...

ChatGOTH: Fast and Curious

Posted 2:50pm Saturday 23rd March 2024 by ChatGOTH

Hey ChatGOTH, There’s an epidemic of straight people walking slow. As a goth, how do you deal with that?  Sincerely, Fast and Curious.  Hi Fast and Curious,  Confession: I’m a queer slow walker. Yes, we exist. It depends on the breed of goth, but most are Read more...

ChatGOTH: Baby Gay

Posted 10:33am Monday 18th March 2024 by ChatGOTH

Hey ChatGOTH! I need advice. I’ve graduated from just being a bit bicurious to deciding that I’m definitely interested in dating other girls. Exciting, but also very scary! How do I go about doing that here? There are gay girls in Dunedin, right? Is it okay that I’m not Read more...

Debatable: Should the Vice Chancellor’s Salary be Removed?

Posted 6:17pm Sunday 17th March 2024 by Otago University Debating Society

Debatable is a column written by the Otago University Debating Society. The Debating Society welcomes new members and meets at the Business School every Tuesday at 6pm. For With the fucked-up state of academic institutions across the world in a neoliberal system where the Uni is run like a Read more...

Moaningful Confession: Kiss'n Boob

Posted 5:40pm Sunday 17th March 2024 by Critic

I’m sure a lot of Dunedin’s Sapphics can relate. The situation here is fucking dire. The streets of Dunners appear to be void of any queer woman, as do the confessions here. So, I thought I’d contribute a story of my own for your lady-on-lady reading pleasure. Let me set the Read more...

Booze Review: 818 Tequila Blanco

Posted 5:33pm Sunday 17th March 2024 by Chunny Bill Swilliams

What's better: Keeping Up With The Kardashians on a cold Friday or 818 Tequila on a Tuesday night and keeping up with a developing alcohol addiction?  Kendall Jenner's 818 Tequila has landed in Aotearoa, and we couldn't be happier – finally, I can reach my dream physique of Read more...

Local Produce: Rosie Roaché

Posted 5:16pm Sunday 17th March 2024 by Jordan Irvine

Rosie Roaché is a talented visual artist with a show coming to Dunedin Fringe. After the success of last year's candid photography exhibition ‘Flâneur’, Rosie is back with an innovative personal project involving Pasifika culture. ‘Brown Skin Girls’ is a Read more...

Horoscopes: Week 4

Posted 5:10pm Sunday 17th March 2024 by Critic

Aquarius Aquababes, you are levelling up and recognising your worth. Financially you're doing amazing, finally curbing that wee spending habit. Stay focused and remember: just because it's on sale, that doesn't mean you're losing money if you don't buy it. Sweet treat of the Read more...

Editorial: We Need to Talk About Gaza

Posted 5:08pm Sunday 17th March 2024 by Nina Brown

We’re going to talk about Gaza. It would be a mistake to think that this is a decision Critic has taken lightly.  Editorship at Critic is constantly changing. Most editors only stay for one year, with former editor Fox breaking the mould by staying for two. And with each editor, the Read more...

Do it your fucking self: How to fix a scratchy woollen jumper or flannel

Posted 5:04pm Sunday 17th March 2024 by Critic

Yeah, it’s still too warm for flannels but that just means that they’re dirt cheap at op shops. Wool (as in fibre grown from sheep or similar, not just any kind of yarn) is a natural material that keeps you warm and dries quickly when it’s wet. It can also be scratchier than a Read more...

Moaningful Confessions: Luigi's Mansion

Posted 12:07pm Monday 11th March 2024 by Critic

It was a dark and stormy night; the wind was howling like the swirling storm inside (my uterus). Couldn’t keep it in, heaven knows I tried. It was semester break, and my friends and I decided to mish to Queenstown for a few days. After a long and windy trip across the mushroom kingdom, we Read more...

Booze Review: Hennessy Very Special Cognac

Posted 1:41pm Sunday 10th March 2024 by Chunny Bill Swilliams

Hennessy is like that one soundcloud rapper from high school who exclusively wears Vlone and thinks they’re one song away from making it big. It looks like a top shelf liquor and has the price tag to match, but leaves everyone looking at you questioning who the fuck you think you Read more...

Local Produce: Tama Alexander

Posted 1:30pm Sunday 10th March 2024 by Jordan Irvine

Tama Alexander is a prominent voice in the comedy scene who uses his student experiences to entertain both locally and nationally, combining cutting sardonic humour with musical theatricality. The 2023 Dunedin Fringe Festival saw Tama’s debut solo show ‘Fresher’, which detailed his Read more...

Horoscopes: Week 3

Posted 1:27pm Sunday 10th March 2024 by Critic

Aquarius You have a good head on your shoulders, so why are you leading them on? It’s not like you to be so flaky with romance and friendships. Figure out what you want and commit – it won’t be easy, but it’s better than the guilt, Aquarius.  Habit to pause: Hitting Read more...

Editorial: But Why is All the Fun Gone?

Posted 1:15pm Sunday 10th March 2024 by Nina Brown

Students can’t seem to catch a fucking break. There’s something in the water, and it’s certainly not rum. Nothing alcohol-related, adjacent, or even slightly hinting at the A-word. That’s a bad word now.  I’d like to start with the disclaimer that we’re Read more...

Debatable: Should lecture recordings be made available from St Paddy’s Day?

Posted 1:10pm Sunday 10th March 2024 by Otago University Debating Society

Debatable is a column written by the Otago University Debating Society. The Debating Society welcomes new members and meets at the Business School every Tuesday at 6pm. For Every lecturer knows that St Patrick’s Day is a de-facto Dunedin day of rest. To go against this and refuse to Read more...

ChatGOTH: InsomNina

Posted 12:45pm Sunday 10th March 2024 by ChatGOTH

ChatGPT could never. Send all your woes and worries about foes to chatgoth@critic.co.nz for totally real and legit advice. Hi ChatGOTH, I was going to send in something about my sex life but it's been so long since I've felt human touch that there's honestly no point. The more Read more...

Do it your fucking self: How to Unfuck your Vacuum

Posted 4:52pm Tuesday 5th March 2024 by Sam Smith-Soppet

Picture this: you’ve been riding the bender-coaster that is Flo and O-Week, you roll out of your bed on the wrong side of midday, and in a rare sober moment for you (or any student), you realise that your flat is a tip. A bombsite, even. Sure, you rush around and do your laundry, but the Read more...

Takeaways: Week 2 2024

Posted 4:33pm Tuesday 5th March 2024 by Critic

SOMETHING TO WATCH ‘While My Guitar Gently Weeps’ - Prince, Tom Petty, Steve Winwood, Jeff Lynne, more Taking place at the 2004 Rock ‘n’ Roll Hall of Fame, two members of the Wilb’s help sing the ‘Quiet Beatle’ banger “While My Guitar Gently Read more...

ChatGOTH: Birkenstunk

Posted 4:26pm Tuesday 5th March 2024 by ChatGOTH

ChatGPT could never. Send all your woes and worries about foes to chatgoth@critic.co.nz for totally real and legit advice. Hey girl!!!! Just thought I would reach out with one of the issues I've currently been going through. Generally speaking, I'm a pretty happy guy with great Read more...

Local Produce: VELVET the label.

Posted 5:11pm Saturday 2nd March 2024 by Jordan Irvine

Max Came is the frontman of indie rock band Hot Sauce Club, and has recently created VELVET the label., alongside Will Georgeson of Pool House and Max Hackshaw of Frank on Tap. VELVET exists to promote artists around New Zealand and the world, currently made up of the three bands but looking to Read more...

Horoscopes: Week 2 2024

Posted 4:21pm Saturday 2nd March 2024 by Critic

Aquarius Aquarius, 2024 is the year to be you. Wear that kinda ugly op-shop top or those shoes that hurt to walk in. You make it look good!  Dunedin hot spot to visit: First Church Pisces Sometimes it feels like everyone hates you, and maybe they do. You’re still hot though, Read more...

Moaningful Confessions: A Helping Hand

Posted 4:10pm Saturday 2nd March 2024 by Critic

I, like many people, am a massive fan of men moaning during sex but unfortunately it has been a while since I have heard this live and in person.  A few months ago, I was scrolling through TikTok and an audio of Pedro Pascal moaning came up on my fyp (thank you algorithm). I hadn’t Read more...

Debatable: Should you go on a date before sleeping with someone?

Posted 4:04pm Saturday 2nd March 2024 by Critic

For: The Pope After Covid, people tend to have an aversion to actually socialising, but they all still want a shag. Crazy concept talking to people, I know, but our parents managed to do it (for the most part) so why can’t you all? Hell, if you actually talk to the breatha or beezy you are Read more...

Booze Reviews: Purple Goanna

Posted 3:09pm Saturday 2nd March 2024 by Chunny Bill Swilliams

Yup, love ‘em or hate ‘em, they still make this stuff. Purple Gs are getting funnelled, chugged, vortexed, snorkelled, and otherwise demolished at high speeds – much like the endangered Goannas of its namesake. For some reason, every other person just assumed that the OG – Read more...

Editorial: Apology Letter to the OUSA Exec

Posted 3:01pm Saturday 2nd March 2024 by Nina Brown

To the OUSA Exec: I am sorry for failing you. Let me explain. As the news editor last year, I sat in on (almost) every weekly OUSA Exec meeting. For the most part, it was all very boring once the thrill of the invite wore off. The process was painfully formal, with each step of the meeting Read more...

Debatable: Should Halls Be Completely Vegetarian?

Posted 4:22pm Monday 26th February 2024 by Ollie Thorns

Debatable is a column written by the Otago University Debating Society. The Debating Society welcomes new members and meets at the Business School every Tuesday at 6pm.   For: Ollie Thorns It’s a pretty clear case, freshers are better off without meat. The calorie intake that Read more...

Moaningful Confessions: Don't Download Grindr

Posted 5:18pm Sunday 25th February 2024 by Critic

Okay, some context: I’m a trans guy and at the time I was getting over my ex-boyfriend so I decided to download Grindr (don’t ever do that). I’d had quite a few people messaging me but only a select few were actually within a decent distance and I can’t drive so needed to Read more...

Editorial: Moaningful Confessions May Meet Its Unsexy Demise

Posted 5:02pm Sunday 25th February 2024 by Nina Brown

We’re (maybe) scrapping Moaningful Confessions. I realise this won’t be a popular move, but it’s time.  Behind the scenes, the column has been going downhill for a while and submissions have been few and far between. Most weeks it would reach print night and Lotto, who runs Read more...

Local Produce: CANDI

Posted 4:57pm Sunday 25th February 2024 by Jordan Irvine

Candice is a familiar voice from Radio One, but she isn’t just a DJ on the radio – as CANDI, she’s an influential music artist with an impressive track record of live shows. Only established in Re: Ori ‘22, CANDI has quickly become a prominent fixture in the electronic scene, Read more...

Horoscopes: Week 1 2024

Posted 4:47pm Sunday 25th February 2024 by Critic

Aquarius  Put the fucking pastel highlighters down - it’s too early to start colour-coding things. Organisation won’t bring you the comfort you crave, but people will. Get out there and don’t let the start of sem pass you by.  New Year’s resolution to ditch: All Read more...

Booze Review: Kirin Hyoketsu Lemon

Posted 3:54pm Sunday 25th February 2024 by Sippy Bill Swilliams

Students return to their shitboxes, locals complain on Facebook, the annual tradition of Flo and O lives on. A fortnight of alcohol and substance ridden debauchery – an alcohol company’s wet dream.  The only thing consumed more than piss in these two weeks of degeneracy is the Read more...

Fresher Simulator: O-Week

Posted 4:13pm Monday 19th February 2024 by Lotto Ramsay

1. Welcome (Start here) You’re a fresher (our condolences) arriving at Dunedin airport for the first time ever. You marvel at all the butt-fuck-nowhere around you. Off to collect your luggage! Where did you fly in from, again? A: Auckland (Go to 11) B: Somewhere else (Go to Read more...

Editorial: Get Into It, Yuh

Posted 11:32am Sunday 18th February 2024 by Nina Brown

To many reading this: welcome back, suckers. To the freshers who have gone back and collected old issues of Critic Te Ārohi once you realised it exists, is free, and is the best thing you’ll ever read: kia ora, I’m glad you made it. Here’s a wee introduction. Critic Te Read more...

Crossword Answers Issue 26

Posted 3:19pm Thursday 12th October 2023 by Critic

No spoilers! If you're looking for the answers from our final issue, they're right here.   Crossword 1: ACROSS: 2. TOAD 4. SLOB 7. MENU 8. ISH 9. ALOE 10. IBIS 12. AZUL 14. WHITE 15. FLAKE 17. IGOR 18. ALOO 19. MAN 21. LENNON 23. TINSEL 24. MOBILE 26. OBLONG 28. BLT 30. NEVE Read more...

BOOZE REVIEW: Just Booze

Posted 11:47am Monday 9th October 2023 by Albert Einsteinlager

Shoutout Noisy. Shoutout ADJØ. Shoutout Albar.   New Zealand needs to change the way we drink. We drink excessive amounts of alcohol and know no weekend tradition other than binge drinking. This behaviour is extremely dangerous, and it’s projected that if we continue drinking Read more...

Editorial: Is this a Dunedin Initiation or a CIA Blacksite Torture Method?

Posted 1:18pm Sunday 8th October 2023 by Fox Meyer

Flat initiations are 20 years old at best. You know what else is 20 years old? Enhanced interrogation techniques designed by CIA crackpots in the wake of 9/11. They like to go out, abduct suspected terrorists and then torture them for weeks in secret locations on foreign soil. The tactics used (the Read more...

Editorial: Is this a Dunedin Initiation or a CIA Blacksite Torture Method?

Posted 1:13pm Sunday 8th October 2023 by Fox Meyer

Flat initiations are 20 years old at best. You know what else is 20 years old? Enhanced interrogation techniques designed by CIA crackpots in the wake of 9/11. They like to go out, abduct suspected terrorists and then torture them for weeks in secret locations on foreign soil. The tactics used (the Read more...

Horoscopes: Week 26

Posted 12:43pm Sunday 8th October 2023 by Critic

Aquarius  This is for everybody going through tough times. Believe me: been there, done that, but every day above ground is a good day. Remember that.    Indulgence to succumb to: Fighting with your conservative family members.   Pisces  Soon you’ll Read more...

Local Produce: - Fool of Stars

Posted 12:41pm Sunday 8th October 2023 by Jordan Irvine

Formed in 2020, Fool of Stars started out as a high school dream pop band. The current line up, Olive Ward (guitar/vocals), Max White (drums), and Jacob Smith (organ), came together to enter Bring the Noise in 2022. Following a warm reception from friends and strangers, they decided to record their Read more...

Local Produce - No Danger

Posted 12:40pm Sunday 8th October 2023 by Jamiema Lorimer

Get your hard hats and your high-vis vests on. For a hazard-free gig, you can count on No Danger: an eclectic six-piece band that play sets with covers ranging from Black Sabbath to the Spice Girls, alongside their own originals, one of which they’re planning to officially release soon. Critic Read more...

Moaningful: Shark Tale

Posted 12:32pm Sunday 8th October 2023 by Critic

As an avid Moaningful Confessions reader, I have been recently disappointed with the lack of jaw-dropping, juicy stories, so against my better judgement, I have sacrificed the last shred of my dignity to provide the worst, most entertaining of sex stories.   To set the scene, I had just Read more...

Takeaways: Week 26

Posted 12:17pm Sunday 8th October 2023 by Critic

Something to…     Watch   Tom Sandoval’s apology video on YouTube   A raw, emotional, genuine display of social media in the golden era of the early 2010s. If your birth year ends later than 00, consider yourself lucky that your tween fantasies Read more...

Chargrills: Feta, Spinach and Lemon Stuffed Chicken Bake

Posted 12:16pm Sunday 8th October 2023 by Charly Burnett @chargrillss

And all of a sudden, we’re at the last recipe. It's been good team, thanks for looking at the pictures and never trying a recipe! It's not too late though, try this. You'll like it.    CHICKEN 2 chicken breasts  ⅓ block feta  ¼ cup Read more...

Takeaways: Week 25

Posted 11:24am Sunday 1st October 2023 by Critic

Something to…   Watch:   Lady Gaga’s 2009 VMA performance   Lady Gaga pretty much debuted to the world with this performance of Paparazzi, which, if you can find it, is like a piece of pop music history. The only good recording I know of is still pretty Read more...

An open letter to anyone that just got initiated:

Posted 11:09am Sunday 1st October 2023 by Fox Meyer

To the first years that just got initiated, I’m glad you’re all alive. I know it wasn’t the “worst thing ever”, and I bet you’ve got a weird feeling in the pit of your stomach that what you just did really wasn’t all that glorious. I know that it ended in Read more...

Moaningful: Kia ora Critic Te Ārohi and its readers.

Posted 11:06am Sunday 1st October 2023 by Critic

Last week, you published a survey and fell back on the old trope that Computer Science students don't get laid enough.   Think about that one for a moment. Who made Tinder? Who tweaks the algorithms that set you up with your matches? Who out there knows your browser history? Have you Read more...

Local Produce: Exhuming our history

Posted 11:04am Sunday 1st October 2023 by Nina Brown

The Southern Cemeteries Archaeology Project is a colonial bioarchaeology research project. It’s run by a multidisciplinary team of researchers led by the Department of Anatomy at the University of Otago.    In the first research-driven work done into colonial New Zealand, their Read more...

Horoscopes: Week 25

Posted 11:03am Sunday 1st October 2023 by Critic

Aquarius  Time to sit back, relax, and think about the Roman Empire.    Area to self-improve on: Being rational and deploying logic.    Pisces  Say goodbye to your people pleaser era, Pisces. You have been far too kind and tolerant of other Read more...

Chargrills: Flourless Pancakes

Posted 11:01am Sunday 1st October 2023 by Charly Burnett @chargrillss

Yeah, let's have breakfast for a change. Only thing you do need is a blender or a Nutribullet. If you don't, use the eggs to make scrambled eggs and eat the banana lol.    Ingrediants: 3 eggs 1 banana  ¼ cup cocoa powder  Dash of Read more...

Editorial: The Dictator

Posted 10:50am Sunday 1st October 2023 by Fox Meyer

There is no student body.    It doesn’t exist. There is no cohesive group of students. Everyone has retreated so far into individualism, into digital and physical isolation, that an overall sense of community has been lost. This is why you are lonely. This is why you feel Read more...

Booze Review: Diesel & Cola

Posted 10:27am Sunday 1st October 2023 by Albert Einsteinlager

Diesel Bourbon & Cola, unlike other foul concoctions, makes you acutely aware of your own existence. It is not an elixir that conjures rationale or peace, rather it attempts to humble the drinker by bringing you a stone's throw from death. A true battle of body, mind, and spirit. Any breatha Read more...

Horoscopes: Issue 24

Posted 10:18pm Sunday 24th September 2023 by Critic

Aquarius  Aquarius, this coming period of your life will bring about questioning, self-reflection, and a desire for change. Remember to not shy away from these feelings, as they will serve for the best in the long run.    Sexy activity for the week: Engaging in Read more...

Chargrills: Soft Shell Tacos

Posted 10:16pm Sunday 24th September 2023 by Charly Burnett @chargrillss

While we’re on the Mexican buzz, here's another mouth tingler to try out while avos are in season and the weather is warming up. Stay burrito-ful. This meal pairs nicely with Bohemian Wrap-sidy.    Ingredients    Soft shell tacos 700g chicken Read more...

Ōtepoti Music Compilation | Local Produce

Posted 10:15pm Sunday 24th September 2023 by Jamiema Lorimer

As the end of the year draws close, it’s the perfect time to sum up Ōtepoti’s musical releases – and the Ōtepoti Music Compilation (ŌMC) is doing just that. Critic Te Ārohi caught up with organiser Alex Huber, about the upcoming project.   ŌMC Read more...

Moaningful: Security guards are ultimate cockblockers

Posted 10:13pm Sunday 24th September 2023 by Critic

It was a classic Thursday night. Boredom was taking over. This was back in the first-year days in halls when your love life was dictated by visiting hours. Forced to come up with some interesting solutions, I never had the balls to sneak people in. As the average beezy does when bored, I hit up a Read more...

Takeaways 24:

Posted 10:09pm Sunday 24th September 2023 by Critic

Something to…     Watch   Mike Tyson Mysteries   Ok hear me out; Scooby Doo but on Adult Swim, and starring Mike Tyson playing an animated version of himself. It is totally unhinged, brilliantly funny, and pretty dark at times. The characters also Read more...

Editorial: No Fucks Left

Posted 10:04pm Sunday 24th September 2023 by Fox Meyer

There’s only so much you can write about sex week before you run out of content. Like an editorial refractory period. After enough time at Critic you really start to scrape the bottom of the barrel for the salacious and the scintillating.   And I’m fresh out. Which is a good Read more...

Booze review: Nola’s Rich Ruby

Posted 9:59pm Sunday 24th September 2023 by Albert Einsteinlager

Are you a dignified son of a gun? One that skirts around the false perimeters that society places upon individuals? Constantly on guard for the street corners in which you protect? If that sounds like you, you’re likely a fortified wine drinker. We are a put-upon caste of people. Burdened with Read more...

Local Produce: DownsideUp

Posted 12:55pm Monday 18th September 2023 by Jamiema Lorimer

DownsideUp are Josh Botting (keys), Erik Dekker (drums), Hamish Phillips (guitar), Lalu Hartmann (bass) and Nathan Calver (vocals). Critic Te Ārohi caught up with the band to talk about what's on for them ‘til the end of the year.   DownsideUp formed in 2021 and have Read more...

Moaningful Confessions: Selected Sexcapades

Posted 12:51pm Monday 18th September 2023 by Critic

Disclaimer: All names have been removed for confidentiality. However, these are all true stories and if you notice any resemblance to your own experience, you should probably reflect on that because you’re most likely not in this book for good reasons.   First everything I was Read more...

Chargrills: The Perfect Quesadilla

Posted 12:26pm Monday 18th September 2023 by Charly Burnett @chargrillss

Look sharp, idiots, this one’s for real. There’s a bit of admin involved for the initial operation but after that the leftovers process is easy as, and you only need to do one dish. Can be vegan without the cheese, and is vegetarian to begin Read more...

Editorial: The Beer Pong Survey Three Years in the Making

Posted 12:25pm Monday 18th September 2023 by Fox Meyer

We’ve finally done it.    It’s taken literal years, but we finally have a somewhat-comprehensive survey of Dunedin’s beer pong rules. You’d think this would be relatively easy, but you would be oh-so-wrong. This counts as a sport, right?   Three Read more...

Booze Review: Kahlua

Posted 12:15pm Monday 18th September 2023 by Albert Einsteinlager

My caffeine addiction only became a problem once I discovered Kahlua.   There's something special about combining your vices, and the advent of Kahlua's coffee liqueur was a game changer. I'm multitasking stimulants and depressants like some kind of corporate wizard. If only Read more...

Horoscopes: Week 22

Posted 12:40pm Monday 11th September 2023 by Critic

Aquarius Jan 20 - Feb 18 Aquarius, learn what a fucking boundary is. You’ve been overstepping and it’s getting a little weird.  Food to hyperfixate on: Beans on toast. Pisces Feb 19 - Mar 20 It’s time to adopt a new form of conflict management and Read more...

BOOZE: Panhead Supercharger APA

Posted 12:35pm Monday 11th September 2023 by Albert Einsteinlager

Is Panhead craft beer? It looks like craft beer, it costs like craft beer, it gets you incredibly drunk like craft beer… but it tastes like the green bottle stuff your dad’s been drinking for the last 35 years. Supercharger is a gateway beer to the craft world, though your dad will only Read more...

Moaningful Confessions: Campus watch fanfic

Posted 12:34pm Monday 11th September 2023 by Critic

Before you ask: no, this fantasy never happened nor have I abused Campus services just to see them. I respect their power way too much. But I can dream, and if it were to happen, I think it would go something like this.    It all began on the first Saturday of O-Week. Mind you, this Read more...

Editorial: Te Wiki o Te Reo Māori: Because who needs English, anyway?

Posted 12:17pm Monday 11th September 2023 by Nā Skyla from Ngāti Hine

Ah, Māori Language Week, that time of the year when corporate giants dust off their faux-cultural sensitivity and engage in the shameless game of linguistic Monopoly. It’s almost heartwarming to see these mega-corporations roll the dice to determine which Māori word they’ll Read more...

Chargrillss: Fried rice

Posted 12:12pm Monday 11th September 2023 by Charly Burnett @chargrillss

It's September. Fried rice it is. This easy dinner will have you satisfied and not feeling too heavy. There aren't many recipes left for this year so I hope you have given at least one a go. This is easy to follow, and even for the dustiest of cooks it can't go too wrong. Give it a Read more...

Local Produce: Ice Lab

Posted 12:11pm Monday 11th September 2023 by Nina Brown

We have an ice lab on campus. If you’re standing on the bridge over the Leith on Clyde St facing toward the harbour, you’ll see it: two blue shipping containers in a parking lot, set to a temperature of minus 8 degrees. The ice lab was set up around two years ago for students who’d Read more...

Takeaways: Week 22

Posted 11:53am Monday 11th September 2023 by Critic

Something to…     Watch   They Cloned Tyrone (Netflix)    Use your ex’s Netflix password that’s still saved on your laptop and strap the fuck in. John Boyega and Jamie Foxx star in this freakishly good government conspiracy movie Read more...

Takeaways: Week 21

Posted 9:06pm Sunday 3rd September 2023 by Critic

Something to…   Watch   Bionicle: Mask of Light (2003)   Ahead of our Te Wiki o Te Reo Māori issue, you might want to give this movie a go. Don’t ask why, you’ll see. Whole thing’s on YouTube. It’s equal parts Power Rangers, LEGO Read more...

Chargrilss: Winter Apple Crumble

Posted 8:52pm Sunday 3rd September 2023 by Charly Burnett @chargrillss

Everybody knows an apple crumble is the absolute queen of desserts. She’s cheap, delicious and easy as piss to make. Here’s a very simple recipe in case you couldn’t figure it out on your own.   Filling Ingredients 5 apples, peeled, de-cored and cut up into small Read more...

Editorial: Two problems with big-time philanthropy.

Posted 8:46pm Sunday 3rd September 2023 by Fox Meyer

It’s politics week, so I want to talk about donations. Specifically “big-time philanthropy”, which is not when Auntie Lorraine makes out a $2,500 cheque to the children’s hospital. I mean more like when Peter Thiel donated $1 million to the Christchurch earthquake recovery Read more...

BOOZE: KGB’s

Posted 8:41pm Sunday 3rd September 2023 by Albert Einsteinlager

If the KGB are vodka and lemon, the CIA must be a shot of fireball delivered via lead into the back of your brain.    KGBs are at the forefront of RTD supremacy. They are neck and neck with Billy Mav’s, each vying for the title of “favourite alcoholic beverage of the Read more...

Moaningful Confessions: Shore girl, shore ting

Posted 8:33pm Sunday 3rd September 2023 by Critic

This happened not long after I left high school, when I made particularly questionable fashion choices. It was after midnight and I was on my way to a Tinder hookup’s house, so I’d put on a little black dress and done my makeup, too. I couldn’t find any shoes to go with it though, Read more...

Local Produce | Imperfect Creatures

Posted 8:30pm Sunday 3rd September 2023 by Jamiema Lorimer

Just last week, Dunedin-based fashion brand Imperfect Creatures, designed by Ethan Cruise, was shown on the New Zealand Fashion Week runway. Critic Te Ārohi caught up with Ethan about his latest collection ‘MOTION’ and what else we can expect from Imperfect Read more...

Local Produce: Keira Wallace

Posted 11:09pm Sunday 20th August 2023 by Jamiema Lorimer

Not many high schoolers can say they’ve performed alongside their musical heroes, but for Ōtepoti singer-songwriter Keira Wallace, this will soon be a reality. Critic Te Ārohi caught up with Keira about their music and exciting upcoming projects.   Of creating music, it Read more...

Moaninful: Snap Back to Reality

Posted 11:08pm Sunday 20th August 2023 by Critic

I’ve always read this column but I have the suspicion that some of these stories just cannot be true. So, consider this my entry to bring things back towards reality, because this is usually how things go.   Moaningful confessions? Absolutely. I’ve been moaning for months. 18 Read more...

Takeaways: Week 20

Posted 11:07pm Sunday 20th August 2023 by Critic

Watch   The Sopranos   Want to put your business degree to good use, but don't want the government taking that tax money? The Sopranos would act as a pretty good blueprint if you were looking into committing crime and fraud as a career choice (in game, of course). Also good Read more...

Chargrills: FLATBREADZ

Posted 11:06pm Sunday 20th August 2023 by Charly Burnett @chargrillss

Do you like meatballs? Do you like salads? Do you like halloumi, spiced chicken, fish or steak? Well add anything you like to this easy flatbread recipe. The best thing about this recipe is it only has 2 ingredients. Pairs well with any meat and veggies on top. Don't forget da sauce Read more...

Editorial: Otago is About to Solve the Climate Crisis

Posted 11:03pm Sunday 20th August 2023 by Fox Meyer

Great news! We’re set to lose about $900,000/year in the Geology Department, crippling our ability to research natural hazards and climate change. But what we aren’t realising is that this is actually a genius move from the top levels of government to solve the climate crisis Read more...

BOOZE: Vodka

Posted 11:00pm Sunday 20th August 2023 by Albert Einsteinlager

Vodka benefits from great PR and is likely the most renowned spirit in the world, despite it being pretty boring.   If you’re spending more than $60 on a bottle of vodka, you are a fool. That shit all tastes the same. “Wow, you can really taste that fourth filtration. It Read more...

Lit Comp Pt.2

Posted 10:51pm Sunday 20th August 2023 by Critic

Non-fiction runner-up Days: Thinking of you By Zoe Wu   The quiet buzz of my alarm nudges me awake. I blearily lift my head, expecting to see warm sun rays weaving around the curtains to tickle my face. Instead, the cold darkness of winter mornings sends a chill down my spine. Read more...

Horoscopes: Week 19

Posted 4:07pm Sunday 13th August 2023 by Critic

Aquarius Jan 20 - Feb 18 Being numb and having no feelings is actually not normal. In fact, it’s rather concerning. Ease up on the sociopathy this week, and try to find some emotion deep within the creases of your soul.  DIY project: Clean your mojo dojo casa Read more...

Chargrills: Satay Chicken Vermicelli

Posted 3:57pm Sunday 13th August 2023 by Charly Burnett @chargrillss

This recipe is dedicated to the lovely human who sent an email complaining about the use of prawns in my first ever recipe for Critic. I still think about that message sometimes. This was going to be a prawn recipe out of spite but I am choosing kindness. Chicken it is, and don't forget to be Read more...

EDITORIAL: Rock Bottom

Posted 3:56pm Sunday 13th August 2023 by Fox Meyer

Hey, you, you’ve got thirty seconds. Sign this petition. It’s not pointless, we did this sort of thing when marine science was under the axe, and it worked. Do it, because it’s only open until Wednesday. Do it, because if Otago is willing to cannibalise its own founding discipline, Read more...

Local Produce: Small Press Fest

Posted 3:54pm Sunday 13th August 2023 by Jamiema Lorimer

This weekend launches the inaugural Small Press Fest. Critic Te Ārohi caught up with the festival’s creator and curator, Frances Pavletich of Evening Books, on the whats and whys of a dedicated fest to small press.   Small Press Fest runs from August 18-20, hosted at Evening Read more...

Takeaways: Issue 19

Posted 3:48pm Sunday 13th August 2023 by Critic

Something to:     Watch   University’s Cyber Security Education and Awareness Programme   Some would say you’re supposed to engage with Otago’s Security Education and Awareness Programme, but I beg to differ; watching it from the distance of Read more...

BOOZE: Wild Moose

Posted 3:40pm Sunday 13th August 2023 by Albert Einsteinlager

Wild Moose is the greatest New Zealand/Canada collaboration since Gallipoli.    Much like the mythical beast of Fiordland for which it’s named, our country is resigned to its existence and must drink in its honour. That moose is never going to turn up. You’d have an Read more...

Moaningful Confessions: Feelin’ fuckin norty

Posted 3:35pm Sunday 13th August 2023 by Critic

So, it’s 2019, Mr Traumatik is on in Auckland, how good. It was around 10pm, I had lost all my mates and could feel the party favours kicking in so I was absolutely wildin’ in the mosh and clearly sending out a vibe. A man puts his arm around me, he’s cute, we immediately click. Mr Read more...

Editorial: Rock Bottom - Save our Geology Department!

Posted 12:33pm Friday 11th August 2023 by Fox Meyer

Hey, you, you’ve got thirty seconds. Sign this petition. It’s not pointless, we did this sort of thing when marine science was under the axe, and it worked. Do it, because it’s only open until Wednesday. Do it, because if Otago is willing to cannibalise its own founding discipline, Read more...

Horoscopes: Week 18

Posted 2:25pm Monday 7th August 2023 by Critic

Aquarius Jan 20 - Feb 18 The plot? Babe, you’ve lost it. Try getting a grip on reality this week and restore the chaotic good within your soul.  Budgeting tip: Stop vaping.  Pisces Feb 19 - Mar 20 Pisces, the weather is shit, the vibes are bad, and no one Read more...


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