For the second week in a row, we’re reviewing Aussie booze. While Australia hasn’t given us much in terms of worthy exports – apart from Milo, Vegemite, and a bang average rugby team – there’s something that may just take the throne: Hard Rated Alcoholic Lemon. The latest challenger in the battle of lemonade-flavoured RTDs, this bevvy is sure to cater to the crowds of Castle and grimy clubs of Dunedin, with full strength 6% crushed lemon taste that’ll leave you smacking your lips. True Aussie innovation.
The hangover hits from the moment you crack one of these bad boys open; it truly brings back that feeling of your first dusty Sunday after underage drinking. Hard Rated did not come over to Aotearoa to fuck around. It seems like every second person in North D is roaming around with a box of these tucked under their arm – it’s giving flashbacks to the Major Major epidemic of 2022 (RIP to the bowels affected). These are flying off the shelves and for good reason; Hard Rated have perfected the balance of a good RTD: refreshing taste and high alcohol percentage. Chef’s kiss.
The fresh Australian lemons do something that other brands haven’t been able to nail: making the alcoholic drink NOT taste alcoholic. Maybe after years of drinking countless different RTDs I’ve developed alcoholic-induced CTE, but these things don’t make me wince even a smidge. The lemon crush doesn't linger like your Hyoketsus or Hazy Lemonades, incentivising you to keep drinking because they taste so bloody good. Dangerous shit.
Alongside the beautiful and refreshing citrus taste, the price is almost just as beautiful and refreshing. With a box of 10 clocking in at $27.99 (compared to other alcoholic lemonades like Hyoketsus being $32.99), they’re almost actually affordable. Cheers Albo! While it is arguably hard to compare alcoholic lemonades when they do pretty much all still taste the same (oops), Hard Rated is a standout. While nothing will be as mouth-wateringly good as Robert Irwin’s Bonds ad, these come pretty close.
Not that we promote binge-drinking, but a couple of these down after a nice big dinner will still politely make you feel a bit crunk. Be warned, though, a few too many will have you doing things you’ll regret and won’t be able to live down potentially ever (#firstyearthrowback). If you’re tossing and turning about moving to Aus like 40,000 other Kiwis last year, if you like to get OTP this might be all the convincing you need.
Pairs well with: A trip to Australia Zoo
X factor: When the duck walked up to the lemonade stand
Hangover depression level: 8.5/10 The next day is a write-off
Taste Rating: 9.5/10 Tim Tam kinda good