Pisces
It's time to revamp your Spotify playlists. You have been listening to the same 20 songs on repeat and are missing out on some really amazing new releases. New songs will also give you a new lease on life and as the sun disappears, lord knows you need something to keep you afloat.
End-of-rainbow treat: A cold Guinness
Libra
Love is in the air for you Libra, but your inability to make a decision is going to push you down the cursed path of a situationship. Remember to keep your head up and keep pushing for commitment. Hopefully in about six months you can lock them down to be official.
End-of-rainbow treat: A fid of Purple Haze
Aries
Your flatmate's passive aggressive pile of dishes will push you over the edge this week and trigger you to do a full hate-clean of the flat. Your flatties won’t say thank you or anything but know that deep down they are just a little bit more scared of you.
End-of-rainbow treat: A fresh new phone charger
Sagitarius
You're going to come up with a million dollar idea this week. Remember to write it down, otherwise you will be a brokey for life.
End-of-rainbow treat: A petrol voucher
Aquarius
Your brain is operating on a different level than everyone else, so try to be a little bit more aware of your surroundings. Kick-ons is not an ideal place to bring up why Decartes is your favorite philosopher, and will just make you look like a dick.
End-of-rainbow treat: Some coke
Scorpio
This week you will earn 1,000 aura points by saving a kitten from a tree or the Dunners equivalent, posting a lost ID on Castle 25 with the caption ‘box on return, chur’.
End-of-rainbow treat: A Pint Night line skip
Cancer
It feels like your lecturers have a vendetta against you, and maybe they do, but you have got to remember that their BlackBoard announcements go to everyone else in the class and they are not targeted messages to your anxious ass.
End-of-rainbow treat: Clean, mould free curtains
Leo
A really big ego check is coming for you this week, whether that be falling off the bar at The Bog while jigging or falling down some stairs at Central during the lunch rush. Try not to take life too seriously after this, it was definitely needed
End-of-rainbow treat: A box of Major Majors
Capricorn
Time to stop being so uptight. Do some yoga, smoke a cone, and let loose. No one cares as much as you and no one should care as much as you do.
End-of-rainbow treat: A will to live
Taurus
Dude, you gotta budget better. A money making scheme that many have doubled their money through is the casino. Go put your rent money on the blackjack table and watch the profit roll in.
End-of-rainbow treat: A week’s rent
Virgo
You will send an email that takes at least half an hour to draft, purely because you don't know how to sound professional anymore. You probably won't get a timely reply, but at least it’s sitting in their inbox.
End-of-rainbow treat: A robot vacuum
Gemini
You have double booked yourself this week, but you can't remember what. This is a sign to start being more organised because you hate the feeling of getting a “Where are you?” call.
End-of-rainbow treat: An OUSA frunch Samosa