Emails released under the Official Information Act (OIA) have revealed that the University of Otago has entered into a legally binding agreement with the Labour Party to hire politicians that don’t get elected.
The official document stated that the University was required to “employ at minimum one Labour Party MP, minister or official that has failed to get elected each three year election cycle”. Another email revealed that the University would gain in return “tax write-offs”, “sweet sweet government dough”, and “daily affirmations from acting Members of Parliament”.
It is unclear which Labour Party member is set to go to the University next, but Critical Tribune was told from a source that wishes to remain anonymous that Bishy and Rachel Brooking were going to have a manu-off for the next available bureaucratic role at Otago.
In unrelated news, student fees are planned to be increased due to a surge in staffing needs.