It's away! It's a hit! Negative. It didn't go in. It just impacted on the surface.
I woke up the morning after a fun night with a severe case of morning wouldn't. Nothing. Like picking up a phone that's been disconnected. Like turning the key on a car with no battery. It wasn’t all bad, though. The good thing about going to the doctor because you can't get a boner is that you don't have to worry about getting a boner at the doctor. But that's pretty much the only good thing.
The doctor was able to determine that I had sprained, rather than fractured, my penis. Apparently a "snapping" sound and turning purple are, like, super bad. To my great joy, I had neither. My lover came to the doctor with me, which was sweet.
It turns out the human penis is basically a bouncy castle. You pick it up from the hire shop, drag it off the trailer onto the grass, and pump it up. It's quite tall and can flop side to side, so there are a couple of guy ropes ("guy" ropes lol). There’s one on each side, supporting it diagonally from about halfway up to a tent peg in the grass a few feet away.
By putting fingers in all sorts of places ("Does this hurt? Does it hurt now?") the doctor determined I hadn't broken a guy-rope ligament or pulled out a tent-peg tendon where it joins the pubic bone. Instead, my bouncy castle had been folded to one side. There was a painful patch where the fold had stretched the tissue.
And, just like if you glue a patch onto the rubbery canvas of a bouncy castle you’d then have to wait a while for the glue to set before pumping it up again, so too did I have to wait for my dick. "Just avoid getting an erection for a few weeks," was the doctor's cheery advice.
Well, that's no fun at all.
Worth avoiding, though. My first round of PTSD (post-trauma stiffy dick) was a morning wood: uncontrollable, unavoidable and, in this case, deeply unwelcome. Yep – glad to have you back, buddy. It hurt like blazes all over – like a ball that had been squashed. You can Google "how to avoid getting an erection", but believe me, if getting one hurts, that's a pretty effective method on its own. I got good at avoiding them for a couple of weeks. As I said, no fun, but that's not what I really want to share.
The good news is what happened in that first week between breaking my boner and getting that first painful sign of recovery. It was a week of absolute delight. I don't know what it's like for a koroa but getting erectile dysfunction as a reasonably young and fit dude was a revelation. Bits of me were still working fine – notably my lips, tongue and fingers. Fucking became foreplay. For a week, basically non-stop, without – for me, anyway – the grand finale of cumming and bringing the curtain crashing down.
I could still make pre-cum: the clear tiny bit of squirty stuff that comes out if you’re playing but not fucking. Who knew that you could have something like an orgasm every time another drop comes out?! Amazing. It happened every few minutes, which technically made me multi-orgasmic.
Woo. The dream. I also discovered that you can also have something like an orgasm – let's call it a "slasm" – simply by being next to someone who’s having the real one. Even better if you're the one giving it to them. And if you add up lots of slasms, you get as much fun as you do from a smaller number of orgasms. I've had some pretty average orgasms in my time – you know, wanking on a drizzly Thursday afternoon – and some of these slasms absolutely eclipsed them.
And even following several hours of experimentation with the above, I experienced, fully clothed, a full-body slasm that was like ten cummings at once, just from looking into my fuckbuddy's eyes and holding hands. So the message is simple: don't knock erectile dysfunction til you have tried it. For me, it was a revelation.
And about boners at the doctor – although I have often worried about them, they just never happen in that tapu setting, despite having been closely examined for this and other previous problems. Doctors have seen it all and they are always kind and gentle.
So flop out your love tackle if you have to. Don't die of embarrassment.
