Yes
It’s all about compatibility, baby!
POV: you love late ‘60s psychedelic rock, while your partner froths Ed Sheeran. No hate to Ed, but those two genres have nothing in common, and chances are neither do you and the person you’re in a relationship with. Sure, a relationship is about learning to love someone for everything that makes them uniquely themself. But music is indicative of more than just what someone sings in the shower.
Without sounding (too) pretentious, music is an aesthetic, an ethic, a good representation of someone’s personality. Separating the art from the artist is a whole different debate, but there’s something to be said about who a person listens to. If you think Kanye is the GOAT, I’m not sleeping with you.
If your study soundtrack is classical music, while theirs is DnB… actually, I’m not sure how you even know each other, let alone well enough to be dating.
Plus, why would you want to start a relationship off already being in disagreement about things? That seems like a pretty stupid choice that’s only gonna lead to heartbreak. If you can’t agree on whether the Beatles’ earlier or later stuff is better, how are you gonna agree on the bigger stuff? If you can never pick a playlist for your car rides, do you really think you’ll be able to decide on where you should live in the future? And how on earth do you expect to pick a first song for your wedding when you’re Oasis and they’re Blur? Your relationship is pretty much doomed from the beginning.
Is being open to someone else’s likes and dislikes a lesson in tolerance? Maybe. But you shouldn’t have to settle.
No
You probably shouldn’t be in a relationship if you think that having different music taste is a deal breaker.
Music is personal. To get to know someone’s music taste is special, it’s part of who they are. Someone’s fondness for U2 might be rooted in their childhood, sparking memories of road trips with their parents. While you might think that country music is beneath you, when I hear Carrie Underwood I think of my sister and I’s passionate karaoke to ‘Before He Cheats’ – with accompanying choreography.
Having different music tastes can also look like dealing with a DnB fiend as a Lana Del Ray girlie, fighting over the aux on road trips and wincing at each others’ comfort ballads. But isn’t part of being in a relationship learning to love one anothers’ “imperfections” or being exposed to new things? If you really can’t handle the other person’s music, I would call it more of an orange flag than a red one.
Rather than a dealbreaker, my take is that music taste is a litmus test for how much you really like this person. If you’re considering calling it quits over them being a Reputation Era Swiftie while you’re a Folklore baddie, then maybe it’s not the music that’s the issue. Maybe you’re just looking for an excuse. Deal breakers are things like disagreeing on what country you want to live in, whether or not you want to have kids, or if their jokes are always punching down at the little guys.