Archive

Letter from KnowYourStuffNZ: What is Harm Reduction?

Posted 2:20pm Sunday 14th April 2024 by Max Phillips

My name is Max Phillips, and I am a drug user. “User” is a bit of a loaded word, but it shouldn’t be, since everyone reading this is also a drug user. Over 80% of New Zealanders drink alcohol (one of the most harmful drugs), and we can tend to forget that things like panadol are Read more...

Unicol Fresher Wins Big from Online Gambling (Twice)

Posted 2:17pm Sunday 14th April 2024 by Iris Hehir

A Unicol fresher has won big money from online gambling. Known around campus as Elvis*, he won $27k in total; taking his gambling virginity in a weekend that can only be described as one for the books. Elvis tells Critic that it all began the summer before Uni, when he was drinking with some Read more...

South D Warehouse Starts to Sell Frozen Meals

Posted 2:15pm Sunday 14th April 2024 by Gryffin Powell

There’s a new player in the budget culinary scene in Dunedin: South D Warehouse. The store is the second Warehouse location in Aotearoa to start selling frozen meals after they successfully popped off in Manukau.  The meals are “family-sized” (or a single serve for a drunk Read more...

Te Rōpū Māori Names Te Kaihāpai and Tumuaki Takirua at Bi-Election

Posted 2:12pm Sunday 14th April 2024 by Harriette Boucher

Te Rōpū Māori held their SGM/bi-election last Wednesday, April 10 – the third and final time you’ll be seeing that date in the news section this week, promise. The election was called to fill the positions of Tumuaki Takirua (Co-President) and Te Kaihāpai Read more...

Local Produce: HŌHĀ

Posted 2:09pm Sunday 14th April 2024 by Jordan Irvine

HŌHĀ is an Ōtepoti noise duo composed of drummer Madison Kelly (they/them) and guitarist Liam Clune (he/him). The band formed in early 2021, with the two friends coming together for jam sessions before eventually becoming a band playing gigs, most recently at Camp A Low Read more...

The Great Critic Drug Review

Posted 2:08pm Sunday 14th April 2024 by Boba Ket

Disclaimer: The content provided in this article is not intended to encourage the use of illegal drugs or substance abuse. The information is based on personal experiences and subjective observations that are not applicable to everyone, and should not be used as a substitute for professional Read more...

Debatable: Should we decriminalise all drugs?

Posted 1:56pm Sunday 14th April 2024 by Julia Randerson

Debatable is a column written by the Otago University Debating Society. The Debating Society welcomes new members and meets at the Business School every Tuesday at 6pm. For  It’s high time to hash out some legislation that treats drug use as a health issue, not a criminal one. The Read more...

Booze Reviews: Long White Hazy Lemonade

Posted 1:49pm Sunday 14th April 2024 by Chunny Bill Swilliams

RTD’s have now fallen victim to the shameless marketing trend that’s conned every corduroy-wearing millennial in Wellington into drinking the most experimental hazy IPA. Trying to prove your superiority of taste and class doesn’t cover up the fact you get shamelessly pissed every Read more...

White Claw’s Coming to Town

Posted 1:46pm Sunday 14th April 2024 by Nina Brown

Don your frat boy caps, White Claw is coming to Aotearoa. In a statement to Newshub, DB Breweries, official partner of the American RTD, confirmed that “the rumours are true” – they’ll be hitting shelves nationwide from April 19. For those not in the know, White Claw is Read more...

TiB Seeks Feedback on Uni Sexual Misconduct Policy

Posted 1:44pm Sunday 14th April 2024 by Hanna Varrs

TW: Mention of sexual harm. Thursdays in Black kicked off their year with a sexual harm prevention hui last Wednesday in the Union common room. The hui was organised in collaboration with OUSA Student Support, Te Whare Tāwharau, and the Uni’s Sexual Misconduct Action Response Team Read more...

Landlord Leases Queen St Parking for $35 a Week

Posted 1:41pm Sunday 14th April 2024 by Hugh Askerud

A landlord has been leasing out car parks to a Queen St population battling to find a park. Eight to ten car parks have been made available for lease by the landlord after he realised his tenants only “had about three cars.” What’s shocked students is the price, with one student, Read more...

OUSA Exec Hyde Giveaway Increases Insta Following By 500%

Posted 1:39pm Sunday 14th April 2024 by Hugh Askerud

The OUSA Exec’s Instagram page has popped the fuck off after announcing a Hyde St Party ticket giveaway. All students had to do to enter was follow their Instagram page. OUSA’s President/Overlord Keegan reported to Critic Te Ārohi that, at the time of publishing, the giveaway had Read more...

Feedback Section Skipped at Clubs Meeting to Gather Feedback

Posted 1:34pm Sunday 14th April 2024 by Hugh Askerud

Last Wednesday was the first OUSA-affiliated Clubs meeting of the year, held at the Clubs and Socs building. Critic was told, by Clubs and Socs Rep Emma Jackson, it would be “very informal,” as she also told people to get their fill of chips which she had “bought too many” Read more...

Aquinas Room Security Still An Issue

Posted 1:28pm Sunday 14th April 2024 by Hugh Askerud

Allegations of break-ins at Aquinas have proven to be true, despite the college stating that “locks are up to date.” Critic Te Ārohi has received evidence of residents accessing specific locked rooms with the use of only a student ID. A series of differing lock mechanisms has meant Read more...

Moaningful Confessions: Ex-Best Friend’s Ex-Boyfriend Fucker

Posted 1:21pm Sunday 14th April 2024 by Critic

Thank god this happened back in my home country, I would be shanked if this got back to them. At my school in year 12, my friend (let’s call her Amelia) got a boyfriend (let’s call him Jed) who had a completely identical (slightly fitter) twin brother. I, being perpetually single Read more...

Horoscopes: Week 7

Posted 1:19pm Sunday 14th April 2024 by Critic

Aquarius You’re at a crossroads this week. Either accept that you have tummy issues and swap to oat milk or shit yourself in the most embarrassing place possible: three metres away from the bouncer outside U-Bar.  Strain of weed to try: Sour Diesel Pisces You take a creative Read more...

Hide Ya Bong: 10 Ways to Conceal a Bong in Plain Sight

Posted 1:16pm Sunday 14th April 2024 by Sam Smith-Soppet

Imagine this: halfway through punching a cone after an incredibly difficult week of BCom-broing and midweek pissups, you hear the front door creak. All your flatmates are home, and no one just fucking drops in. Like a deer in Bic-light, you scramble in fear to find a hiding spot for your still-warm Read more...

Editorial: Stay Safe, Kids

Posted 1:08pm Sunday 14th April 2024 by Nina Brown

Welcome to the Drugs Issue. You may have picked that up already based on the bong-heavy design of both the cover and centrefold. We timed it to come out the week of Hyde Street Party and 4/20 – which conveniently happens to be the same day this year. I see you, OUSA. “Drugs” is Read more...

Drug Trip Simulator

Posted 1:06pm Sunday 14th April 2024 by Nicky Patterson

1. Look outside. It’s a beautiful day; the sun's shining, the birds are chirping, and you've got the itch for something special to make today one to remember. Who are you calling? A: The Regular (go to 3) B: The shady guy who your mate’s flatmate’s sister knows (go to Read more...

Steamed the New Stoned?

Posted 12:57pm Sunday 14th April 2024 by Hugh Askerud

Dunedin has a pretty notorious drug culture. One drop of our wastewater could show the entirety of Gloriavale a damn good time. And yet, one would be pressed to find a hardcore, “substances are a personality trait” type druggie in even your most bruising Castle St flat these days – Read more...

Firecracker Airfryer Edibles

Posted 12:54pm Sunday 14th April 2024 by Lotto Ramsay

Firecrackers are a classic stoner treat, typically made with graham crackers and peanut butter. But due to the exodus of our American staff (good riddance) Critic does not know what graham crackers are – and does not wish to learn. Here they are with biscuits and nutella instead. The weed Read more...

The Baaa Karaoke Threatens Thirsty Thursday Supremacy

Posted 11:04am Monday 8th April 2024 by Hugh Askerud

Word on the street is that The Baaa karaoke has ostensibly filled the Thursday night social calendar gap after reporting “lines out the door” since the start of 2024. Supporting the piss-fuelled antics of over 200 breathas a night, The Baaa’s karaoke has allegedly trumped all other Read more...

Pitfalls of the Pill

Posted 11:03am Monday 8th April 2024 by Monty O’Rielly

Ah, the pill. That tiny, circular tab that’s readily handed out to fix a myriad of issues, whether that be mental health, preventing periods, curing acne or, you know, maybe even as a contraceptive. Since its release in the 1960s, the oral contraceptive pill has been treated as a miracle drug, Read more...

Local Produce: Purple Dog

Posted 10:09pm Friday 5th April 2024 by Jordan Irvine

Starting off the year with a slew of Pint Night performances at U-Bar, Purple Dog have now established themselves as a prominent Ōtepoti band. As they gear up to release a second single, Critic Te Ārohi caught up with the band to ask about their origin story, new music, and upcoming Read more...

Debatable: Should Hyde residents have to pay for tickets to the Hyde Street Party?

Posted 10:07pm Friday 5th April 2024 by Liam Gould

Debatable is a column written by the Otago University Debating Society. The Debating Society welcomes new members and meets at the Business School every Tuesday at 6pm. For: Liam Gould  Okay, so it might be a bit stink that on top of overpaying for what is likely a cold and damp flat on Read more...

Leith Them Alone: The Families of Leith Street

Posted 10:01pm Friday 5th April 2024 by Harriette Boucher

Leith Street – a key part of the North Dunedin epicentre of Otago’s student life – has long been the home of scarfie flats and student parties. But despite its reputation, Leith is more than just students living out their second-year dreams in New Zealand’s most notorious Read more...

Booze Review: Mulled Wine

Posted 9:57pm Friday 5th April 2024 by Chunny Bill Swilliams

Daylight savings is creeping forward, bringing with it shit weather and a splash of seasonal depression. In this autumnal slump, we want a drink that reminds us of simpler times, like Christmas – not New Zealand Christmas, but the one you see in low-budget rom-coms. I want to get fucked up Read more...

Dancing in the Rain: Baseline Reviewed

Posted 9:54pm Friday 5th April 2024 by Iris Hehir

It’s important to Critic Te Ārohi that our reviews are authentic. To review hall food, we needed to assume the identities of freshers. And to review Baseline, we also had to assume the appropriate state of a festival-goer: dressed a lil’ slutty and with enough vodka Red Bulls in our Read more...

ChatGOTH: Heracles

Posted 9:50pm Friday 5th April 2024 by ChatGOTH

Hi ChatGOTH, I need help slaying the Hydra. My ex will not stop trying to talk to me. As per usual post-break up courtesy, I asked for space but little did I know how challenging this labour would be. Long story short, it got to the point where I had to block her (so my phone would stop Read more...

Takeaways: Week 6

Posted 9:49pm Friday 5th April 2024 by Critic

SOMETHING TO WATCH ‘Almost Pumping’ short film If you haven’t watched it yet, you’re missing out. Isaac Chadwick’s short film ‘Almost Pumping’ is a 16-minute fever dream of surf, as Chaddy and his mates tackle the waves of Indonesia, describing Read more...

Bar Behemoths Combine to Support LGBTQIA+ Community

Posted 9:47pm Friday 5th April 2024 by Hugh Askerud

Woof! have teamed up with Emerson’s Brewery to create a t-shirt encouraging people to “be proud of the rainbow thirst trap that you are!” Not only will the t-shirts be drippy as fuck, but they’re also helping fund an initiative to provides stores with printed materials in Read more...

Non-Student Kicked Out of OUSA Sauna

Posted 9:45pm Friday 5th April 2024 by Hanna Varrs

A non-student has been permanently banned from the OUSA Clubs and Socs building following a sauna incident where the patron caused “discomfort for other users within that session,” according to OUSA’s Clubs and Societies Operations Manager Jamie Leckie.  Leckie told Critic Read more...

Salmond Lashes Out Following Food Review

Posted 9:42pm Friday 5th April 2024 by Sam Smith-Soppet

Critic Te Ārohi has once again come to blows with a hall after a full kitchen staff meeting was organised to address the magazine’s now infamous food review. The meeting allegedly saw Critic staff being called out by name and staff shed tears after reading the review in the company of Read more...

New Queen St. Facebook Group Claims to Have No Freshers

Posted 9:40pm Friday 5th April 2024 by Molly Smith-Soppet

The smell of a fresh Dunedin street Facebook group is in the air again with the creation of ‘QUEEN/GEORGE 24’. And wow, it's not got the one thing all of Dunedin claims to despise: fucking freshers (or so they reckon). If you're wondering why you need another platform to buy fake Read more...

Opinion: Nitro Goes Woke?

Posted 9:20pm Friday 5th April 2024 by Nicholas McDermott

In the ever-evolving landscape of alcoholic beverages, one name has stood out for its unapologetic embrace of the wild side: Nitro. Known for having partygoers buzzing with energy, Nitro has carved a niche for itself as the go-to drink for those looking to elevate their night from the mundane to the Read more...

University “Highly Likely” to Cut Some Journal Subscriptions

Posted 9:12pm Friday 5th April 2024 by Monty O’Rielly

Academic journals have been added to the University’s list of casualties after Critic Te Ārohi was told that it was “highly likely” that resources, including some academic journals, would be cut.  A University spokesperson told Critic Te Ārohi that they could be Read more...

Capping Show Reveals ‘Beezie’ Theme

Posted 9:08pm Friday 5th April 2024 by Molly Smith-Soppet

The Capping Show is back for the 130th time (never gets old), brandishing a new theme and a bucket load of sure-to-be-explicit skits – we counted “49 assorted sex, dick and tit jokes” last year. Critic Te Ārohi met up with co-Stage Director Jack Archibald to flesh out the Read more...

Aquinas Has a Bra Thief

Posted 8:58pm Friday 5th April 2024 by Sam Smith-Soppet

News of a bra thief on the loose in Aquinas has students in a panic. Sources say that the thief has been on the loose since the beginning of March.  In the space of a few weeks, several pairs of women’s brassiere and underwear have been reportedly stolen, leading residents to suspect Read more...

Moaningful Confessions: Catman

Posted 8:53pm Friday 5th April 2024 by Critic

We’re coming up on the anniversary of this story so I feel as though I have enough closure to share it. This was my first attempt at a Tinder hook up after a breakup, and I knew the guy from home so I thought it would be chill. No surprises, I was wrong.  Everything is set up, Read more...

The Lecture Swap

Posted 8:52pm Friday 5th April 2024 by Adam Stitely, Gryffin Powell, Christopher Elder & Monty O’Rielly

Critic Te Ārohi sent two pairs of what we considered to be polar-opposite majors to go to each others’ lectures: History major Adam and Biochemistry & Genetics major Gryffin; Marketing major Christopher and Gender Studies major Monty. It’s like swinging, but with a bit more Read more...

Horoscopes: Week 6

Posted 8:28pm Friday 5th April 2024 by Critic

Aquarius When life gives you lemons, make a vodka LLB (lemon, lime and bitters), sit back and watch the world burn. There is nothing you can do to save those plebs. Your morning mantra: I am healthy, I am wealthy Pisces You are very aware of your surroundings this week. While your intuition is Read more...

Editorial: Turn On Your Heat Pump

Posted 8:25pm Friday 5th April 2024 by Nina Brown

It’s time we all grew up and turned our heat pumps on. I will die on this hill. To all the power Scrooges out there, I get it. The early stages of flatting are a hard fiscal slap in the face. You hear the phrase “cozzie livs” (boomer translation: “cost of living”) Read more...

Pint Night Glasses Going Extinct

Posted 8:20pm Friday 5th April 2024 by Hugh Askerud

U-Bar’s pint glasses are in short supply, dropping to a stock of only 500 out of the 3000-4000 that were bought for the bar just a few years ago. Weird, I wonder why? Hospitality Services Manager Adrian Lowrey told Critic Te Ārohi that he is “trying to buy some new ones at the Read more...

Trans Sex For Dummies

Posted 4:47pm Saturday 23rd March 2024 by Monty O’Rielly

Disclaimer: This article includes discussion and description of transgender bodies, with anatomical and occasionally gendered language. It mainly focuses on personal experiences of pre-op trans people on HRT, but a lot of this can be applied to trans people at other stages of their Read more...

Booze Review: Sour Apple Cruisers

Posted 4:35pm Saturday 23rd March 2024 by Chunny Bill Swilliams

Critic was a bit late this St Patty’s to jump on the bandwagon and acquire the breatha’s Irish drink of choice: Lime Cruisers. We even mished to the unfamiliar territory of South Dunedin, but to no avail. We were left with the consolation prize, the ugly step-sister of this green and Read more...

Mi Goreng Graduate: Chocolate Mousse

Posted 4:33pm Saturday 23rd March 2024 by Ruby Hudson

Serves: 6 Time: 20 mins + 2 hrs cooling Bring on those sexual desires and impress that special someone with this smooth and luxurious choccy mousse. Since dark chocolate is packed full of aphrodisiac, this recipe is sure to get you in the mood. While I admit the whole aphrodisiac thing could be Read more...

Uni Football Rising Out of the Pits

Posted 4:28pm Saturday 23rd March 2024 by Hugh Askerud

University football has pulled itself out of a hole after slashing through both men’s and women’s University of Canterbury teams in a pre-season derby. Now the club is talking a big game, with men’s captain Ben Campbell telling Critic Te Ārohi, “Anything short of the top Read more...

Citizens Advice Bureau Launch Youth-Focused Website

Posted 4:25pm Saturday 23rd March 2024 by Gryffin Powell

Nobody ever seems to be truly prepared for the shit show that is moving out of home, which is why the Citizens Advice Bureau (CAB) have created a tool to help. Launched with the knowledge that there’s no 100-level paper on bullshitting through life, the Bureau announced the ‘Youth Tool Read more...

“Nut Free” Carrington College Serves Nuts

Posted 4:19pm Saturday 23rd March 2024 by Angus Rees

Carrington College found themselves in a tricky situation last week, after a resident allergic to peanuts unknowingly consumed a biscuit containing nuts. The student ate said sweet treat with faith in the fact that Carrington kitchen had become nut free. Yikes.  A student associated with Read more...

Best of Moaningful Confessions

Posted 4:15pm Saturday 23rd March 2024 by Critic

It’s only appropriate that the sex issue pays homage to everyone’s favourite sexscapade column: Moaningful Confessions. The column was born in 2020 out of the ashes of the seedy and often marginal Blind Date column. We’ve ranked the sauciest, most salacious, tit-lickin’, Read more...