Archive

Editorial: The Uni Budget Collapse if it were a Deck

Posted 1:05pm Sunday 9th July 2023 by Fox Meyer

Let's say you live in a flat with an awesome, party-ready deck. It costs a bit to maintain, but that’s okay because it’s the right thing to do. People love coming over to party on the deck and it’s totally safe because your landlord pays the maintenance bill. It’s their Read more...

Booze Review: Your Uncle's Homebrew

Posted 1:03pm Sunday 9th July 2023 by Albert Einsteinlager

New Zealand’s unhealthy relationship with alcohol is built on the solid foundations of your uncle’s homebrew.    Whether the uncle in question is yours or a mate’s, the product is the same. You’ve likely had a shot of their 80% alc/vol moonshine which was Read more...

Horoscopes: Week 13

Posted 6:35pm Monday 29th May 2023 by Critic

Aquarius Jan 20 - Feb 18 It’s time to enter your problematic era. Start some shit, spread a rumor, call it how you see it. Take no prisoners this week, besties. Scandal of the week: Pizzagate.  Pisces Feb 19 - Mar 20 There is something about pisces and your ability to Read more...

Chargrills: Thai Green Curry

Posted 6:23pm Monday 29th May 2023 by Charly Burnett @chargrillss

It's a freezing Dunners Tuesday. You're nearly on the downhill slope to the weekend, but it's still shit because it's 2 degrees and you’re not quite there yet. Your living room is colder than it is outside and your puffer vest and beanie aren't quite stopping your breath Read more...

Pōpopo - Jamiema Lorimer | Local Produce

Posted 6:17pm Monday 29th May 2023 by Jamiema Lorimer

Would you still love me if I was a worm? Pōpopo wormporium, the composting initiative of Otago Polytechnic, definitely would. Critic Te Ārohi caught up with Liam Hoffman and his worms to find out more. Pōpopo is OP’s very own composting facility created to deal with Read more...

Moaninful Confession: Seal the Deal

Posted 6:13pm Monday 29th May 2023 by Critic

It was break, and we were spending a few nights at my boyfriend’s parent’s place. Naturally we both were hungry for some alone time. So off we go: “an excursion for fresh air”. We walked and talked, but that just wasn’t cutting it. Next thing I knew, a quiet kiss on the Read more...

Editorial: Vic Uni’s Student Mag SCANDAL

Posted 5:22pm Monday 29th May 2023 by Fox Meyer

Victoria University Wellington has joined Otago University in announcing substantial job cuts in the wake of financial strain. Because of course they did, they’re always trying to copy us. The announcement that Otago will be entering a newer, slimmer staffing era (so chic!) sent ripples Read more...

Booze Review: Fizzliss Old Fashioned Lemonade + Vodka

Posted 5:18pm Monday 29th May 2023 by Albert Einsteinlager

Built into the human genome is a predisposition toward enjoying bubbles. All things bubbly. Bubbles in my bath, bubbles that meander through the air, Bubbles shooting up heroin in the streets of West Baltimore. A momentary existence punctuated with a satisfying *pop*; there is no situation that does Read more...

Horoscopes: Week 12

Posted 4:16pm Sunday 21st May 2023 by Critic

Aquarius Jan 20 - Feb 18 Troubled waters ahead! Be sure to navigate your friendships and relationships accordingly, as tension is on the horizon. Also, wash your sheets. It’s been way too long. Kiwi tune to play: ‘Something In The Water’ by Brooke Fraser Pisces Feb Read more...

Moaningful Confessions: Yearner’s License

Posted 4:13pm Sunday 21st May 2023 by Critic

It started at a beach at sunset and ended at an ice rink parking lot. As all good stories do. We had pulled up at Kilda to do the whole romantic thing of watching the sun setting over the sea. It worked - things were getting heated and before I knew it my shirt was off. The condensation on the Read more...

Editorial: Music to My Ears

Posted 4:10pm Sunday 21st May 2023 by Fox Meyer

As it’s music month, I can’t think of any better time to introduce this gem from the past: ACT MP David Seymour’s first appearance on the decks as a DJ, from back in his days as a student at Auckland Uni. This is honestly such an important part of NZ music culture and I Read more...

Chargrills: Brownies

Posted 4:07pm Sunday 21st May 2023 by Charly Burnett @chargrillss

Winter’s setting in and dinner just doesn't cut it sometimes. Most flats have a bunch of baking supplies leftover from the mid-Covid baking panic of 2021, so make use of them. Stop frowning and make your flat a brownie. This is one of the top three things I've had in my mouth. Get into Read more...

Booze Review: Purple Death

Posted 4:03pm Sunday 21st May 2023 by Albert Einsteinlager

All the appeal of cough syrup, without the fun effects. Purple Death is like a Fast & Furious marathon: you’re excited to revel in something objectively terrible with your friends, and it is fun initially, but after three hours of staring at Vin Diesel's fat head you begin to wonder Read more...

Local Produce: Je Pleure

Posted 3:32pm Sunday 21st May 2023 by Jamiema Lorimer

Je Pleure is a fashion brand established by Jack King. Critic Te Ārohi caught up with the young designer from Ōtepoti. Je Pleure first began as an alias Jack used to release his own art under. “I was originally going to call it ‘I CRY’ until my French friend blurted Read more...

Booze Review: Rochdale Classic Apple Cider

Posted 3:07pm Monday 15th May 2023 by Albert Einsteinlager

Four ciders a day makes your doctor go, “Oh, fuck.”   Rochdale Classic Apple Cider is an economical drop for breathers that want to piss off their beer-loving friends. Why is it that every time cider is brought up in a public conversation, some tradie in a mucked-out ute Read more...

Horoscopes: Week 11

Posted 3:39pm Sunday 14th May 2023 by Critic

Aquarius Jan 20 - Feb 18 Aquarius, it’s easy to feel alone in this world. But don’t worry. A new, special someone is on the horizon for you. Don’t give up on love and comfort, it’s just around the corner. Snack of the week: Spring rolls.  Pisces Feb 19 - Read more...

Chargrills: Thai Pumpkin Soup

Posted 3:35pm Sunday 14th May 2023 by Charly Burnett @chargrillss

Winter’s here, so it’s time to get warm from the inside out. Soup is slept on so hard until you have it again for the first time in years and you get to dip a chunk of hearty bread into a thick bowl of saucy goodness, feeling like a medieval peasant after a hard day’s toil in the Read more...

Local Produce: The Beatniks

Posted 3:32pm Sunday 14th May 2023 by Jamiema Lorimer

The Beatniks are named after the track ‘Beatnik’ by OG Dunedin Sound band The Clean, which itself makes reference to the Beat Generation subculture of the 60s. Although what The Beatniks do is different to what happened in the 60s, they’re part of a subculture of their own: the Read more...

Moaningful Confessions: Not begging for moa

Posted 2:53pm Sunday 14th May 2023 by Critic

Music has the ability to bring people together. So do taxidermied moa. And blowjobs. As it turns out, all of the above can also tear people apart and sow weeks of exasperated sighs into your everyday life. Let me explain: It was midnight on a Friday. I was single and “ethically” Read more...

Horoscopes: Week 10

Posted 2:13pm Sunday 7th May 2023 by Critic

  Aquarius Jan 20 - Feb 18 Aquarius, it’s time to sack up and take a stand on what matters. You can’t be a passive people-pleaser for the rest of your life, it’s important to have an opinion in the pursuit of what is right. Activity of the week: Give a shit Read more...

Moaningful Confessions: Dinner and a Show

Posted 2:00pm Sunday 7th May 2023 by Critic

I was travelling recently and, as luck would have it, I was upgraded to the top floor of the Quest apartments by the Old Bank in downtown Wellington. It’s a fancy art deco complex above Starbucks. Class, plenty of room to hang out between adventures in the big city, and bonus: I could spy on Read more...

Takeaways

Posted 1:59pm Sunday 7th May 2023 by Critic

Something to: Watch The Wife Swap George Bush episode: The Patrick and Leierwood Family episode is what your flat is missing. One family is an uber-conservative, hella-patriotic American military family who LOVES George W Bush. Meanwhile, the other family consists of Godless hippies who Read more...

Chargrills: Teriyaki Build-a-Bowl

Posted 1:57pm Sunday 7th May 2023 by Charly Burnett @chargrillss

This is a super easy, low maintenance option for a quick and healthy dinner while only having to cook the rice and protein. More colour = more nutrients. Get amongst it.   Ingredients 800g chicken breast or tofu, cut into bite size chunks Oil Teriyaki sauce sachet/bottle 3-4 Read more...

Editorial: Conespiracy

Posted 1:43pm Sunday 7th May 2023 by Fox Meyer

Cone theft from George Street is costing the DCC $40k a year, and students are copping the blame. Can’t be surprised, though: Dunedin students love cones of many varieties. We broke this story last week, which was picked up by Stuff, Spinoff, Seven Sharp and the Breakfast Show. Not that any Read more...

Booze Review: Ginger Bear

Posted 1:37pm Sunday 7th May 2023 by Albert Einsteinlager

With a name like Ginger Bear, it would be too easy to make a joke about being fucked in my ass by a 300+ pound, ginger-haired, Todd-from-Breaking-Bad-looking guy. So I won’t. Crimson Badger Brewing’s Ginger Bear is the perfect reintroduction to a medium of drinks that have otherwise Read more...

Booze Review: Riot Punch

Posted 3:29pm Monday 1st May 2023 by Albert Einsteinlager

Riot Punch is the perfect drink to serve during half-time at a 3rd XV highschool rugby game. Riot Punch is an evil alchemy, being both incredibly easy to execute and terrifyingly effective. Through many years of painstaking research, a perfect recipe was developed: cheap vodka paired with blue Read more...

Horoscopes: Week 9

Posted 4:20pm Sunday 30th April 2023 by Critic

  Aquarius Jan 20 - Feb 18 Aquarius, it’s time to wake up. Someone in your close circle may be up to no good, so it’s time to reevaluate who is in your nearest and dearest posse. Bar to visit: Woof!  Pisces Feb 19 - Mar 20 And first of all, I wanna Read more...

Just Like the Movies

Posted 4:05pm Sunday 30th April 2023 by Critic

I made this high on brownies. True story tho, enjoy: It was the third date and we had just finished up at the movies. He suggested that we go somewhere. I gave a shy “okay” smiley nod and then followed him out onto the street. We walked for a while trying to find the perfect private Read more...

Chargrills: Thai Red Curry

Posted 4:03pm Sunday 30th April 2023 by Charly Burnett @chargrillss

I've just been to Thailand. It'd be rude not to do a Thai beef red curry. You will love this.  Thai Red Curry Ingredients Oil 700-800g beef rump steak, cut into small cubes Salt & pepper 1 brown onion, diced 1 tsp crushed garlic 1 tsp ginger (if you have Read more...

Editorial: Bats

Posted 3:50pm Sunday 30th April 2023 by Fox Meyer

Really didn't know what to write about this week, so here’s how I caused a minor rabies scare in rural Ohio. I started out attending uni at a shit school in the shittest state in the entirety of America: Ohio. I only went because they gave me money and I will never forgive them for it. Read more...

Why are you poor?

Posted 3:14pm Sunday 23rd April 2023 by Critic

Only losers are poor, and if you’re poor, it’s your fault. There are so many reasons why it’s your fault, so we’ve designed this quiz to help you really figure out the answer so you can get back on that #grind. What are you spending the most money on that you could do Read more...

Moaningful Confessions: Can’t Beetle this Juice

Posted 2:59pm Sunday 23rd April 2023 by Critic

I know there have been some less-positive confessions lately, so here’s something slightly more wholesome. Slightly. It’s around 2am and most of our flat’s in bed, save for two (let’s call them Nikki and Molly, not using real names). The door of the flat opens, and Nikki Read more...

Local Produce: Saurian

Posted 2:58pm Sunday 23rd April 2023 by Jamiema Lorimer

Saurian make music that matches their name: hard rock. Critic Te Ārohi managed to catch up with the band in the midst of their current tour. Saurian is Karl (guitar/vocals), Cameron (guitar), Logan (bass), and Hamish (drums). Saurian have been a band since 2015, starting with Karl and Hamish Read more...

Chargrills: potato bake

Posted 2:56pm Sunday 23rd April 2023 by Charly Burnett @chargrillss

This shit is simple and dope. Feeds 8, so there definitely will be leftovers. Pair with a bit of cheap rump steak and steamed broccoli or whatever else you feel like running. 1kg potatoes, peeled 150g cheese, grated 1.5 cups of cream and/or milk 2 cloves fresh garlic, Read more...

Editorial: why capitalism is actually great for the environment

Posted 2:42pm Sunday 23rd April 2023 by Fox Meyer

Thanks to Margret Thatcher (#girlboss) and a few other legends, we all get to live in the wonderful world of industrial capitalism. They also call it neoliberalism, which is like Neopets but for money. It’s very slay and cute. We get to use this thing called “the market” that Read more...

Booze Review: Soju

Posted 2:32pm Sunday 23rd April 2023 by Albert Einsteinlager

Soju sounds like a slur Walt Disney would use. It’s not, though. It’s booze. It seems that these days I have exhausted my excitement for alcohol. Bored of beer, sick of RTD’s, and left with broken spirit(s). The novelty is gone and I wonder what is the point of destroying my Read more...

Horoscopes: Week 8

Posted 2:16pm Sunday 23rd April 2023 by Critic

Aquarius Jan 20 - Feb 18 It’s time to celebrate yourself, Aquarians! Give yourself a sweet treat and a pat on the back for all your efforts. You deserve it. Political ideology to subscribe to: Anarchism.  Pisces Feb 19 - Mar 20 Pisces, it goes without saying you have Read more...

Horoscopes: Week 7

Posted 12:07pm Sunday 16th April 2023 by Critic

Aquarius Jan 20 - Feb 18 While you may be enjoying life mentally and physically, it’s your financial wellbeing you should check in on. This is your yearly reminder that course related costs are not actually free money. Drug to indulge in: Shrooms.  Pisces Feb 19 - Mar Read more...

Local Produce: Ōtepoti Slam Collective

Posted 12:03pm Sunday 16th April 2023 by Jamiema Lorimer

The Ōtepoti Slam Collective (ŌSC), formerly the Dunedin Slam Collective, was founded by poet and playwright Kerry Lane. Alongside hosting open mic poetry nights until 2019, ŌSC also hosted competitive regional slams that were integrated with the NZ Young Writers Festival from 2017 Read more...

Dirty, Dirty Laundry

Posted 11:59am Sunday 16th April 2023 by Critic

It began late, on an otherwise unremarkable Wednesday night. I was buried in a pile of laundry, trying to figure out how I'd let myself accumulate such a mountain of dirty clothes. As I was loading the washing machine in our hall’s basement laundry room, I noticed a strikingly attractive Read more...

Chargrills: Yeastless Focaccia

Posted 11:48am Sunday 16th April 2023 by Charly Burnett @chargrillss

Sick of buying bread? Wheat it and weep.  Ingredients: 350g self raising flour  250ml warm water 3 tbsp oil, preferably of the olive variety Pinch of salt  Any herbs or seeds you can find laying around - I used pumpkin seeds and some dried thyme.  Need more Read more...

Editorial: You have a problem that drugs can’t fix

Posted 11:45am Sunday 16th April 2023 by Fox Meyer

I’ve said it once, I’ll say it a million times: there’s a damn good reason so many of you think you have ADHD. Or autism. Or whatever it is that’s in fashion at the moment. It might seem “normal” to us, having grown up with it, but the current idea of what Read more...

Booze Review: The Ned Pinot Gris

Posted 11:28am Sunday 16th April 2023 by Albert Einsteinlager

Most Dunedinites won’t drink a bottle of wine until they’re face-to-face with a butter chicken curry. After all, nothing pairs better with naan than a $7.50 bottle of Cleanskin Sauvignon Blanc - the curry equivalent of a Happy Meal, served alongside what is basically the piss of a French Read more...

Horoscopes: Week 6

Posted 3:31pm Sunday 2nd April 2023 by Critic

Aquarius Jan 20 - Feb 18 There lies a difficult road ahead for Aquarians this week. Navigate your challenges with caution, and be sure to act on logic rather than emotion. Anger and short temperament won’t get you very far.  Plant to cultivate: The dead basil you’ve Read more...

Local Produce: Tini Whetū Project Space

Posted 3:28pm Sunday 2nd April 2023 by Jamiema Lorimer

Tini Whetū Project Space is an experimental art gallery and space, curated by Piupiu Maya Turei (Wairarapa Moana, Te Ātihaunui-a-Pāpārangi). Tini Whetū is situated in the upper-level of Yours on Moray Place, in both the corridor leading to Evening Bookstore and the bookstore Read more...

Booze review: Haägen Strøng

Posted 3:25pm Sunday 2nd April 2023 by Albert Einsteinlager

  Initially launched as a wartime ration distributed to the ANZACs, Haägen Strong has found its way to being a staple across the diets of many New Zealanders. Trying to find a can of this stuff while it’s on special at the supermarket is difficult, as its primary consumers are Read more...

Chargrills: Veggie Spag

Posted 3:20pm Sunday 2nd April 2023 by Charly Burnett @chargrillss

Want to avoid getting sick as it gets a bit colder? This veggie packed spag bol will help keep your immune system sharp as a tack. Add more protein if you want!! Stir-fried beef would go well with this. Ingredients: Oil 1 brown onion, diced 2 tbsp tomato paste (optional) 2 Read more...

Get Your Rocks Off

Posted 3:17pm Sunday 2nd April 2023 by Critic

Picture this: a chilly Friday night, my flatmates were away, and I was bored out of my mind. My hormones were in full swing, and I had no other choice but to resort to the one app that had never failed me: Tinder. After swiping right on a guy who looked like the lost Hemsworth brother (or so I Read more...

Editorial: Ocean’s Eleven Bar and Grill

Posted 2:58pm Sunday 2nd April 2023 by Fox Meyer

Avid readers will remember the year’s first issue, in which we talked about how Eleven Bar couldn't be bothered with boring legal stuff like fire or food safety (yawn) and breached the Sale and Supply of Liquor Act from nineteen-ninety-whatever. Cracking stuff, right? Well, no, we know Read more...

Horoscopes: Week 5

Posted 4:21pm Sunday 26th March 2023 by Critic

Aquarius Jan 20 - Feb 18 My mama told me when I was young, we were all born superstars. She rolled my hair and put my lipstick on in the glass of her boudoir. Queertivity of the week: Rock climbing.   Pisces Feb 19 - Mar 20 "There's nothing wrong with loving who Read more...