Archive

“DTF469”: An Open Love Letter to Personalised Plates

Posted 12:00pm Sunday 20th August 2017 by Henessey Griffiths

This month, we commemorate the one-year anniversary of a devastating moment in New Zealand history. On August 1st 2016, the company that specialized in personalised plates plates.co.nz lost its New Zealand Travel Association’s (NZTA) license, shutting down the business. Personalised Read more...

The Fresher PM: Bill English’s First Year at the University of Otago

Posted 11:40am Sunday 20th August 2017 by Joel MacManus

This feature contains reference to extreme racist and homophobic language and behaviour.   It was a culture of hyper-masculinity, heavy drinking, and hard partying. The Critic Editor at the time called it “the business of bigotry,” and said it was marred by homophobia and Read more...

Meet My Monsters

Posted 11:25am Sunday 20th August 2017 by Mel Ansell

Though technically an adult, I can’t shake the thought that there are still monsters living beneath my bed. My childhood bogeymen have multiplied like germs, and now my room is full of beasts with which to come to terms. In the quiet of the night, when I’m almost asleep, something wakes Read more...

Ta Moko, A Revived Artform

Posted 11:41am Sunday 13th August 2017 by Chelle Fitzgerald

Ta moko is the traditional art of Māori tattooing, initially pertained only to the face, legs and buttocks. Contemporary ta moko has expanded its borders to incorporate one’s arms, chest and back - most likely due to the stigma that being tattooed has in modern society. However, in Read more...

Speed Photography with a Storm Chaser

Posted 11:31am Sunday 13th August 2017 by Critic

Trevor started out as a storm chaser - someone who, when they hear a tornado is approaching, runs towards it rather than away. “I probably really started getting into it when I was 15-16. I started chasing with my mom – she would drive me around. It was so fantastic. I was up in Read more...

Esther Maihi and the OUSA Paint + Sip Evening

Posted 11:24am Sunday 13th August 2017 by Critic

The OUSA "Paint + Sip Evening" is an Art Week event where a limited number of lucky people get to drink wine, hang out, listen to music, and paint a picture with artist Esther Maihi. I spoke to Esther about what the evening involves and why she loves doing it. “It’s being Read more...

How To Have A Beer: An Interview with Michael Donaldson

Posted 12:24pm Sunday 6th August 2017 by Joel MacManus

Michael Donaldson is New Zealand’s pre-eminent beer critic, author of two books on New Zealand craft beer, columnist for Fairfax Media, and the chair of judges for the New World Beer & Cider Awards. We sat down with him to discuss how to have a beer, where he got his passion, and why the Read more...

A Wander through the Dunedin Night

Posted 12:16pm Sunday 6th August 2017 by Charlie O’Mannin

I walk through the small sticky red-orange streetlight worlds.   Goth Sloth hails, hanging upside down from his lamp post. “Oi mate, could you point the                  way to the Queen’s boudoir?” All the symbiotic algae Read more...

Flatting in Hell: Abuse in Student Homes

Posted 11:58am Sunday 6th August 2017 by Kirio Birks

“[My flatmates] threw away my dead sister’s necklace.” For Ava* that was normal; her normal. The same was true of her flatmate Beth*. They shared a world in which their house was not a home, not a sanctuary from the outside world, not even a place to eat, shower, or sleep. Both Ava Read more...

Travel Trips From A Jerk

Posted 11:59am Sunday 30th July 2017 by Chelle Fitzgerald

It all starts pretty innocently, over a few loose ones at Starters Bar with a couple of your mates from high school. You happily slur sweet nothings to each other, pointing your beer bottles at each other for emphasis, sealing the bromance with a few rogue splashes on each other’s Leavers Read more...

The Ultimate Rush

Posted 11:49am Sunday 30th July 2017 by Chelle Fitzgerald

When I was thirteen years old in Bali on a family holiday, my dad decided, after a few too many beers, that parasailing on the beach was most definitely too good an opportunity to pass up at just USD$7 a pop. Before I knew it, I was strapped into a rusty old harness to be whisked into the sky, Read more...

Have Degree, Will Travel

Posted 11:41am Sunday 30th July 2017 by Isaac Yu

You’ve made it. After three years subsisting on a diet of Mi Goreng noodles, the cheeky seven-dollar fat bird, and too much caffeine, you’ve proven that you’re ready to take your place in the world with a fancy piece of paper, and a crippling student loan. You’ve had some Read more...

The Winter Blues (SAD)

Posted 12:26pm Sunday 23rd July 2017 by Kenzie Reeves

You’re wrapped up warm in bed in your dimly lit room and the last thing in the world you want to do is get up and start your day. Even if you could muster up the courage, dealing with the dreary, cloudy day and the bitterly harsh bite of winter just doesn’t seem worth it. ‘What Read more...

Diesel or Die

Posted 12:18pm Sunday 23rd July 2017 by Joe Higham

Houses were left open, bodies of the undead lying in the stairways, semi-naked beside the corpses of burnt couches in front gardens, and on barely intact balconies. As the bus slowed, turning to pull in behind a Toyota Starlet that had its front windows smashed and “Sink it Cunt” Read more...

Immune to the Truth

Posted 11:51am Sunday 23rd July 2017 by Lucy Hunter

If you’ve ever taken a vitamin C tablet thinking it will stop you getting a cold, you’ve bought into the myth of immune boosters Go to any pharmacy, supermarket, or health food store in New Zealand and you will be find a sizable section of pills, powders, and potions with labels Read more...

The Phenomenon of Marxist Indoctrination via Memes: A Case Study

Posted 12:47pm Sunday 16th July 2017 by Sinead Gill

Over my life, I have been especially susceptible to many typical ‘phases’. As a child, I was an eager ‘Pot Head’, following the adventures of the golden trio in the Harry Potter series. As a pre-teen, I was content to be babysat after school by the exploits of Disney Channel Read more...

ACTlas Shrugged

Posted 12:34pm Sunday 16th July 2017 by Isaac Yu

When it comes to politics you can never judge a book by its cover and 20-year-old Sam Purchas is a great example why. Standing at a lanky 6 foot 3 and dressed in a bright flowery suit that looks like a Coachella attendee’s LSD fuelled vision of ‘smart casual’, Sam looks more like a Read more...

Parliament TV: Uncut Saturday Edition

Posted 12:11pm Sunday 16th July 2017 by Matson Clark

Our MPs have pretty tough jobs. Representing the dozens of electorates from around New Zealand every single day, whilst hashing out new legislation, is no easy task. That’s why on Saturdays our proud MPs love to kick back and unwind. These are just some of their stories.   Simon Read more...

Different Strokes: Interviews with fetishists

Posted 12:08pm Sunday 9th July 2017 by Chelle Fitzgerald

It could be the well-dressed, polite woman serving you in the bank, or the elderly bus driver who ambushes the passengers with talkback radio at an aggressive volume. It could be your stern lecturer, or even your parents. The world is brimming with saucy people harbouring all manner of thrilling Read more...

Health Science: A Trial by Fire

Posted 11:55am Sunday 9th July 2017 by Mel Ansell

“Where the love of man is, there also is the love of healing” reads the plaque on the front of the University of Otago School of Medicine Hercus Building. The stately School of Medicine buildings resonate authority, over a hundred years old, and flank the hospital where medical students Read more...

In Placid Darkness

Posted 12:36pm Sunday 28th May 2017 by Sam Fraser-Baxter

The tank emits a soft, violet glow. The room’s lights are off and the door locked. I undress, shower and step inside. I pull the lid down behind me and press a large button on the inside wall of the tank. The pinkish hue fades to darkness. I slowly lie down in the tank’s warm, Read more...

Cheap Thrills: We Tracked Down the Heroes Behind New Zealand’s Greatest Grocery Brand

Posted 12:26pm Sunday 28th May 2017 by Carl Marks

Every week I piss away ten hours of my life working at a supermarket, in order to afford enough alcohol to numb the pain of working at a supermarket. It’s a vicious cycle. And every bovine tête-à-tête with a customer leaves me that much closer to throwing in the towel, and Read more...

Do Millennials dream of the Unclicked Hyperlink?

Posted 12:09pm Sunday 28th May 2017 by Mel Ansell

Remember dial-up? The thrum of Windows 95 booting up, a message box announcing the arduous process of connecting to the web. The dial-up constipatedly moaning as though linking to the internet required some sort of physical effort. Impatiently, you waited for the dots to stop zooming between your Read more...

Line

Posted 2:34pm Sunday 21st May 2017 by Mel Ansell

Illustrations by Axel Graham-Wiggins A 600-leg creature hulked with its head in Refuel, trying to get warm. Its many protuberances waved drunkenly. We had planned to arrive early to Pint Night, but, after I found my shoes and my flatmate Selena found her ID, it was 9:15pm. One obligatory, but Read more...

How The Red Card Became a Dunedin Cultural Phenomenon

Posted 12:22pm Sunday 21st May 2017 by Joel MacManus

If you’re a fresher still learning the ropes and fumbling your way around North Dunedin, you may have heard the term “Red Card” being thrown around in conversation and had thoughts like ‘what are they?’, ‘what do they look like?’, and ‘how can they Read more...

What It's Like to Microdose on Acid at Work

Posted 12:16pm Sunday 21st May 2017 by The Day Trippers

My co-worker and I decided to try microdosing LSD after reading on the internet that it makes you more productive, creative, energised, less anxious, and nicer to be around. We also heard from a friend of a friend who told us that microdosing on acid was the only thing that helped his chronic back Read more...

From Weapon to Wonder: A Brief Social History of LSD

Posted 11:59am Sunday 21st May 2017 by Chelle Fitzgerald

When Sandoz chemist Dr Albert Hofmann was messing around synthesizing ergot derivative compounds in 1938, the seemingly unremarkable twenty-fifth compound he produced was unceremoniously stored among its siblings on a shelf for the next five years. On 16 April 1943, Dr Hofmann decided to Read more...

McYou: A Guide to Selling Yourself

Posted 2:37pm Friday 19th May 2017 by Mel Ansell

The modern world is a wonderful, wonderful place. Neoliberalism tells us if you work hard, you will inevitably be rewarded. In the past, you would have certainly been born a peasant and died a peasant. You once would have been rewarded for your hard work after death by singing the praises of God Read more...

Genius Dating Advice for 2017

Posted 2:28pm Sunday 14th May 2017 by Mat Clarkson

Trying to find that special someone can be a minefield. With every little word and gesture being analysed, not knowing what to say, and your self-doubt nagging at you, it can be tough. But I’m here to share a little advice – one tip that anyone can use in almost any conversation which Read more...

I Paid $25 To Meet Max Key: An Analysis

Posted 11:50am Sunday 14th May 2017 by Henessey Griffiths

Do you ever have those moments in life where you revaluate everything up to a point, and wonder “why am I like this?”. This is one of those moments. I paid $25 to meet Max Key, and he pulled my hair. Max Key is New Zealand’s own Dennis the Menace and Richie Rich hybrid. As Read more...

The Price of Citizenship

Posted 11:36am Sunday 14th May 2017 by Isaac Yu

Call me paranoid but airports always make me nervous. There is the ever-present fear that you might have forgotten something. That you might be late. That you might miss your flight having to go through yet another security checkpoint. And there was that one time when I was 19 when I was held in an Read more...

A Mongrel-Debating-Society-Tea-Fight-Entertainment

Posted 11:21am Sunday 14th May 2017 by Joel MacManus

“Capping is a glorious time. It is a sort of annually recurring twenty-first birthday, where you feel like drinking a thousand beers and kissing a thousand girls and laughing a thousand times a day.” This quote from the 1929 University of Otago Capping Book expresses the culture of Read more...

Take Your Place in the World: Six Students on their most Memorable Scarfie Experience

Posted 3:46pm Sunday 7th May 2017 by Mel Ansell

  Illustrations by Fynn Campbell-Bowden   Ricki "A True Scarfie is born in a flat colder than my ex’s heart. I consider one of my best student experiences to be living in a paper bag in the Leith. We paid $140 a week, which was fucking bargain, considering we Read more...

Tim Player: The Bruised Proscenium and The Immaculate Rock Dog

Posted 12:26pm Sunday 7th May 2017 by Lucy Hunter

Tim Player spent a Friday morning floating round playing his drums on a tiny raft in the Dunedin harbour. The performance was filmed by Arron Clark and will be screened at The Audio Foundation in Auckland on May 4th. Critic spoke to Tim about what the hell he was doing. Critic: Can you explain Read more...

Menstruation Frustration

Posted 12:07pm Sunday 7th May 2017 by Ainsley Harris

To begin this piece, I will start by saying that NOT ALL PEOPLE WHO MENSTRUATE ARE WOMEN. Some of you, will be scratching your head thinking what the fuck do you mean? Girls get periods?!! That mindset, however, is very narrow-minded. Still confused? Read on. If anyone didn’t do year 10 Read more...

No Information Beyond the Headline

Posted 12:08pm Sunday 30th April 2017 by Joe Higham

Donald Trump’s ascension from business tycoon and reality TV star to President of the United States of America has been, to put it mildly, fucking scary. Throughout the gross and depraved spectacle that was his campaign he stuck to certain narratives that ultimately helped to make that Read more...

Mount Grand

Posted 11:58am Sunday 30th April 2017 by Louise Lin

I stare entranced at the rows of water tanks. The surface of the water is brown and shiny – bubblebath coated in Gladwrap. This is where our drinking water comes from. Right beneath my feet the alchemical transformation from ‘stream water’ to ‘tap water’ is taking Read more...

There’s always someone to talk to

Posted 11:49am Sunday 30th April 2017 by Lucy Hunter

Youthline focuses on supporting young people between the ages of 13 and 26. Brian Lowe is the Youthline Otago manager. He and one administration person are the only staff members, neither of which are employed full time. Lowe has volunteered since his university days and has always been drawn to Read more...

I Escaped Getting Baptised into a Cult

Posted 12:48pm Sunday 23rd April 2017 by Esme Hall

Tina* is a new friend. We’re in that stage of bonding over things we have in common, like both studying Politics and English, loving podcasts, and being recruited by the same cult. Our stories are months apart, but have the same innocent opening. Enter two Korean girls who ask if we’ll Read more...

Jurassic Park: Where the Plot Holes are Mightier than the Dinosaurs

Posted 12:28pm Sunday 23rd April 2017 by Chelle Fitzgerald

As a child, Jurassic Park was my favourite movie – I was hell-bent on becoming a palaeontologist (until I was exposed to Ross Geller from Friends). Jurassic Park was also everything I needed in my adolescence – a Michael Crichton plot, scientific progress versus ethics, and some goddamn Read more...

The French Did It By 1789, Surely 218 Years Later We Should Join Them?

Posted 12:20pm Sunday 23rd April 2017 by Joe Higham

The British Royal Family, and monarchies generally, have a lot to answer for; they manage to sponge millions off the state each year and have an unnerving amount to do with politics and legislature. If you were to describe the system outside of the context of the Western monarchical tradition, most Read more...

Historical Reasons People Believed in Ghosts (That Don’t Make Sense Anymore)

Posted 12:08pm Sunday 23rd April 2017 by Wee Doubt

Ghosts could be real, but it is interesting that the more advanced science and technology has become, the less likely it seems that they are. Now that everybody has a video camera on them at all times, we should be getting some sweet ghosty footage. But we are also getting better at spotting Read more...

Life in Antarctica

Posted 12:20pm Sunday 9th April 2017 by Jessica Thompson Carr

What’s double the size of Australia, covered by 98% ice, and has no permanent human residents? Antarctica.   Antarctica is a desert of snow and ice surrounded by freezing ocean at the bottom of the Southern Hemisphere. It has an average temperature of -49°C, katabatic winds of Read more...

Less is More

Posted 12:02pm Sunday 9th April 2017 by Chelle Fitzgerald

Japan is already into it in a big way and the rest of the world is catching on. Minimalism is the art of living a much simpler lifestyle, in order to focus only on what’s important – creating more time to pursue connections with others, experiences and giving more to the world than one Read more...

Twelve Hours on Hyde Street

Posted 10:53am Sunday 9th April 2017 by Joel MacManus

6:00 AM The persistent throb of bass can be heard from three blocks away; a siren call reaching out to the slumbering residents of North Dunedin, calling them to their most hallowed street. Today is the day of the Hyde Street Party. On the street itself the music pumps like a busy nightclub, but Read more...

Think Pink: A 101 of Pinkwashing in New Zealand

Posted 12:38pm Sunday 2nd April 2017 by Kyra Gillies

What is Pinkwashing and why does it matter? Pinkwashing is a government or corporate strategy to put forward a gay or LGBT friendly image to simultaneously tap into the ‘pink dollar’ (the support of middle and upper class LGBT people) and to distract from unethical practices such as Read more...

Revolution Ready

Posted 12:30pm Sunday 2nd April 2017 by Mel Ansell

If you turn your nose to the wind in the provincial town of Dunedin, New Zealand, you may smell revolution in the air. The breeze, which curves steadily over the currents of the Leith River, carries with it the explosive potential for powerful change. While for now, in the Northernmost part of the Read more...

Our Fancy Feast

Posted 12:09pm Sunday 2nd April 2017 by Lucy Hunter

In their time scouring op shops, my friends Mary and Reg have gleaned three relics of a particular point in the ‘70s where food got very, very strange. Critic wanted to know what those wacky old recipes tasted like, so, in the interests of our readers, we bravely concocted and feasted on some Read more...

The Ghost Boobs

Posted 12:56pm Sunday 26th March 2017 by Mat Clarkson

Angela had never been very good at making friends. Now that she had moved to a new town and knew barely anyone, she would have to dig deep and find the courage to be social. This gloomy town would be best enjoyed with at least one companion, she thought. One day in class, she got talking to a cute Read more...

Electric Eyes

Posted 12:52pm Sunday 26th March 2017 by Kirio Birks

8:35. Wake up. Check Reddit, Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Snapchat, emails, and texts. Sing your lungs out in the shower (you’re never too good for Adele). Send nudes to bae. Get dressed and pocket your phone. Head to lectures. More lectures. Lunch. Lectures. Get home and make dinner. Drink Read more...