Archive

I Paid $25 To Meet Max Key: An Analysis

Posted 11:50am Sunday 14th May 2017 by Henessey Griffiths

Do you ever have those moments in life where you revaluate everything up to a point, and wonder “why am I like this?”. This is one of those moments. I paid $25 to meet Max Key, and he pulled my hair. Max Key is New Zealand’s own Dennis the Menace and Richie Rich hybrid. As Read more...

The Price of Citizenship

Posted 11:36am Sunday 14th May 2017 by Isaac Yu

Call me paranoid but airports always make me nervous. There is the ever-present fear that you might have forgotten something. That you might be late. That you might miss your flight having to go through yet another security checkpoint. And there was that one time when I was 19 when I was held in an Read more...

A Mongrel-Debating-Society-Tea-Fight-Entertainment

Posted 11:21am Sunday 14th May 2017 by Joel MacManus

“Capping is a glorious time. It is a sort of annually recurring twenty-first birthday, where you feel like drinking a thousand beers and kissing a thousand girls and laughing a thousand times a day.” This quote from the 1929 University of Otago Capping Book expresses the culture of Read more...

Take Your Place in the World: Six Students on their most Memorable Scarfie Experience

Posted 3:46pm Sunday 7th May 2017 by Mel Ansell

  Illustrations by Fynn Campbell-Bowden   Ricki "A True Scarfie is born in a flat colder than my ex’s heart. I consider one of my best student experiences to be living in a paper bag in the Leith. We paid $140 a week, which was fucking bargain, considering we Read more...

Tim Player: The Bruised Proscenium and The Immaculate Rock Dog

Posted 12:26pm Sunday 7th May 2017 by Lucy Hunter

Tim Player spent a Friday morning floating round playing his drums on a tiny raft in the Dunedin harbour. The performance was filmed by Arron Clark and will be screened at The Audio Foundation in Auckland on May 4th. Critic spoke to Tim about what the hell he was doing. Critic: Can you explain Read more...

Menstruation Frustration

Posted 12:07pm Sunday 7th May 2017 by Ainsley Harris

To begin this piece, I will start by saying that NOT ALL PEOPLE WHO MENSTRUATE ARE WOMEN. Some of you, will be scratching your head thinking what the fuck do you mean? Girls get periods?!! That mindset, however, is very narrow-minded. Still confused? Read on. If anyone didn’t do year 10 Read more...

No Information Beyond the Headline

Posted 12:08pm Sunday 30th April 2017 by Joe Higham

Donald Trump’s ascension from business tycoon and reality TV star to President of the United States of America has been, to put it mildly, fucking scary. Throughout the gross and depraved spectacle that was his campaign he stuck to certain narratives that ultimately helped to make that Read more...

Mount Grand

Posted 11:58am Sunday 30th April 2017 by Louise Lin

I stare entranced at the rows of water tanks. The surface of the water is brown and shiny – bubblebath coated in Gladwrap. This is where our drinking water comes from. Right beneath my feet the alchemical transformation from ‘stream water’ to ‘tap water’ is taking Read more...

There’s always someone to talk to

Posted 11:49am Sunday 30th April 2017 by Lucy Hunter

Youthline focuses on supporting young people between the ages of 13 and 26. Brian Lowe is the Youthline Otago manager. He and one administration person are the only staff members, neither of which are employed full time. Lowe has volunteered since his university days and has always been drawn to Read more...

I Escaped Getting Baptised into a Cult

Posted 12:48pm Sunday 23rd April 2017 by Esme Hall

Tina* is a new friend. We’re in that stage of bonding over things we have in common, like both studying Politics and English, loving podcasts, and being recruited by the same cult. Our stories are months apart, but have the same innocent opening. Enter two Korean girls who ask if we’ll Read more...

Jurassic Park: Where the Plot Holes are Mightier than the Dinosaurs

Posted 12:28pm Sunday 23rd April 2017 by Chelle Fitzgerald

As a child, Jurassic Park was my favourite movie – I was hell-bent on becoming a palaeontologist (until I was exposed to Ross Geller from Friends). Jurassic Park was also everything I needed in my adolescence – a Michael Crichton plot, scientific progress versus ethics, and some goddamn Read more...

The French Did It By 1789, Surely 218 Years Later We Should Join Them?

Posted 12:20pm Sunday 23rd April 2017 by Joe Higham

The British Royal Family, and monarchies generally, have a lot to answer for; they manage to sponge millions off the state each year and have an unnerving amount to do with politics and legislature. If you were to describe the system outside of the context of the Western monarchical tradition, most Read more...

Historical Reasons People Believed in Ghosts (That Don’t Make Sense Anymore)

Posted 12:08pm Sunday 23rd April 2017 by Wee Doubt

Ghosts could be real, but it is interesting that the more advanced science and technology has become, the less likely it seems that they are. Now that everybody has a video camera on them at all times, we should be getting some sweet ghosty footage. But we are also getting better at spotting Read more...

Life in Antarctica

Posted 12:20pm Sunday 9th April 2017 by Jessica Thompson Carr

What’s double the size of Australia, covered by 98% ice, and has no permanent human residents? Antarctica.   Antarctica is a desert of snow and ice surrounded by freezing ocean at the bottom of the Southern Hemisphere. It has an average temperature of -49°C, katabatic winds of Read more...

Less is More

Posted 12:02pm Sunday 9th April 2017 by Chelle Fitzgerald

Japan is already into it in a big way and the rest of the world is catching on. Minimalism is the art of living a much simpler lifestyle, in order to focus only on what’s important – creating more time to pursue connections with others, experiences and giving more to the world than one Read more...

Twelve Hours on Hyde Street

Posted 10:53am Sunday 9th April 2017 by Joel MacManus

6:00 AM The persistent throb of bass can be heard from three blocks away; a siren call reaching out to the slumbering residents of North Dunedin, calling them to their most hallowed street. Today is the day of the Hyde Street Party. On the street itself the music pumps like a busy nightclub, but Read more...

Think Pink: A 101 of Pinkwashing in New Zealand

Posted 12:38pm Sunday 2nd April 2017 by Kyra Gillies

What is Pinkwashing and why does it matter? Pinkwashing is a government or corporate strategy to put forward a gay or LGBT friendly image to simultaneously tap into the ‘pink dollar’ (the support of middle and upper class LGBT people) and to distract from unethical practices such as Read more...

Revolution Ready

Posted 12:30pm Sunday 2nd April 2017 by Mel Ansell

If you turn your nose to the wind in the provincial town of Dunedin, New Zealand, you may smell revolution in the air. The breeze, which curves steadily over the currents of the Leith River, carries with it the explosive potential for powerful change. While for now, in the Northernmost part of the Read more...

Our Fancy Feast

Posted 12:09pm Sunday 2nd April 2017 by Lucy Hunter

In their time scouring op shops, my friends Mary and Reg have gleaned three relics of a particular point in the ‘70s where food got very, very strange. Critic wanted to know what those wacky old recipes tasted like, so, in the interests of our readers, we bravely concocted and feasted on some Read more...

The Ghost Boobs

Posted 12:56pm Sunday 26th March 2017 by Mat Clarkson

Angela had never been very good at making friends. Now that she had moved to a new town and knew barely anyone, she would have to dig deep and find the courage to be social. This gloomy town would be best enjoyed with at least one companion, she thought. One day in class, she got talking to a cute Read more...

Electric Eyes

Posted 12:52pm Sunday 26th March 2017 by Kirio Birks

8:35. Wake up. Check Reddit, Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Snapchat, emails, and texts. Sing your lungs out in the shower (you’re never too good for Adele). Send nudes to bae. Get dressed and pocket your phone. Head to lectures. More lectures. Lunch. Lectures. Get home and make dinner. Drink Read more...

Dawn of the Fog

Posted 12:30pm Sunday 26th March 2017 by Trevor Cokley

Dunedin disappeared under a blanket of fog before sunrise last Friday The thin edges of the fog reached the higher elevations of the hills on the Otago Peninsula making it possible for trees cast dramatic shadows over the fog.   The iconic Harbour Cone on the Otago Read more...

Survival of the fittest

Posted 12:05pm Sunday 26th March 2017 by Chelle Fitzgerald

Currently, across the world, there is a unique scattering of people who are probably sleeping rather soundly, safe in the knowledge that, should the shit hit the fan, they needn’t panic (much). Survivalists, also commonly known as doomsday preppers, are people who have contingency plans and Read more...

Clothes Come From Crops!

Posted 1:40pm Sunday 19th March 2017 by Paige Jansen

Consumerism within the fashion industry and how we can become more sustainable consumers.   The unaware shopper with a credit card: a fatal combo often seen wandering aimlessly along George Street, dabbling with the chain stores, purchasing $20 t-shirts. The act of shopping requires no Read more...

Vitamin MDMA

Posted 1:26pm Sunday 19th March 2017 by Anonymous

As well making sweaty clubbers realise that society puts us all into little boxes, Ecstasy could be useful in treating sufferers of Post Traumatic Stress disorder.   We had two caps of 500mg vitamin c, one of 200mg magnesium glycinate, one of 5HTP, a glass half full of Berocca, and a Read more...

Current

Posted 11:51am Sunday 19th March 2017 by Lucy Hunter

Current is an exhibition in which nine local artists and designers respond to pieces from the Otago Museum’s textile collection. The idea was planned to coincide with ID fashion week. Critic spoke to the Assistant Collection Manager of Humanities at the Otago Museum Jamie Metzger, who Read more...

The Cheapest Alcohol In Dunedin: A Critic Investigation

Posted 1:04pm Sunday 12th March 2017 by Swilliam Shakesbeer

When you’re a student expected to live on $176 a week from Studylink, every dollar counts. It’s a constant struggle to balance those optional extras, like rent and food, with the essentials, like coffee and alcohol. Getting a buzz on a budget is a delicate art – you want to drink Read more...

Evidence of Obstruction

Posted 12:53pm Sunday 12th March 2017 by Wee Doubt

The most astonishing thing about criminal accusations is that, despite the difference between a person being guilty and being innocent being so profound, the arguments either way can often be equally compelling.   Often the best methods we have to assess guilt or innocence is physical Read more...

Democracy Behind Bars: How Arthur Taylor is taking on central government from prison and winning

Posted 12:43pm Sunday 12th March 2017 by Joe Higham

One night in late 2006, whilst incarcerated at Mount Eden Prison in Auckland, Arthur Taylor, arguably New Zealand’s most famous living prisoner, had a vivid dream. It wasn’t quite a Martin Luther King type of dream; those pivotal moments were some time away yet. At the outset of our Read more...

Polyamory: Why Not Both?

Posted 12:04pm Sunday 5th March 2017 by Isaac Yu

Our world is different to that of our parents. While they were the first generation to pioneer the internet and begin the information era, we were born citizens. While they were the generation that maintained tradition, we are increasingly challenging old ideas. Ideas about what constitutes love, Read more...

Dating the seven foreskins of Christ

Posted 11:57am Sunday 5th March 2017 by Lucy Hunter

Can a spatter of ancient blood heal the sick? Is a piece of cloth useful in praying for the poor? Can desiccated eyeball help you get into heaven? I don’t know the answers to these questions, but I did talk to a man who leads a team investigating religious relics - the pieces of long-dead Read more...

Their Sea Or Ours?

Posted 11:48am Sunday 5th March 2017 by Sam Fraser-Baxter

Bottlenose dolphins, grey nurse sharks and green turtles were among the dead hauled out of shark nets around Sydney in 2015. The New South Wales government’s most recent performance report details the marine life captured by the Shark Meshing programme. 2015 recorded 748 “marine Read more...

All aboard the Big Fucking Rocket to Mars!

Posted 12:16pm Sunday 26th February 2017 by Chelle Fitzgerald

You may not have given any serious thought to whether or not you would choose to leave our planet, but one day, humans may have to. Our best option in the foreseeable future is to live on Mars, though nearly every aspect of the planet and the journey it would take to get you there is hostile to Read more...

Careers Advice for the Approaching Apocalypse

Posted 12:07pm Sunday 26th February 2017 by Mel Ansell

The house has the forcefully pleasant smell of an open home. Particularly, I imagine, one occurring after a graphic murder. Yes, you read about it in the newspapers and rubberneck at it from the street, but we have had the carpets professionally cleaned so there’s nothing to see here. This Read more...

Hey Sugar Sugar

Posted 11:58am Sunday 26th February 2017 by Louise Lin

Amy’s love doesn’t cost a thing, but her company does. Louise Lin talked to a Sugar Baby about what it's like to be paid to be somebody's girlfriend. Content warning: this story contains descriptions of sexual assault She's just your regular student. You've passed Read more...

Literary WWOOFING

Posted 11:11am Saturday 8th October 2016 by Jessica Thompson Carr

When I was ten my sister and I joined my parents as they took conferences around Europe and a few other places for six months. Of all the cities we visited, Paris was the one that ground its roots into my head. This was due in part to the charming architecture and array of romantic art galleries (I Read more...

The Village at the End of the World

Posted 12:11pm Saturday 1st October 2016 by Jean Balchin

In ancient Celtic carvings, on dappled rocks where moss has not yet crept, one may read of the primordial myth of Creation; a tale of Oran Mór, or The Great Melody. This haunting, mighty melody – the very breath of a long-forgotten god – sang Creation into existence, hewing Read more...

Draw Me Naked: Being A Nude Model

Posted 12:07pm Saturday 1st October 2016 by Louise Lin

The rhythmic rustle of charcoal on paper soothes me into a semi meditative state. In the background, Passenger croons - “when you can't get what you love, you learn to love the things that stop you dreaming”. I fix my stare at a mirror which reflects a student's easel – a Read more...

Deadlines: A University Survival Guide

Posted 12:03pm Saturday 1st October 2016 by Mikayla Cahill

"I love deadlines. I love the whooshing noise they make as they go by,” said the late Douglas Adams, author of The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy. Unfortunately you are probably not yet a beloved author with forgiving publishers. You are likely a student, you have assignments to Read more...

New Zealand’s Apex Predator

Posted 11:09am Saturday 24th September 2016 by Anonymous Bird

I love cats as much as your average white girl. I tear up a little bit when I see them doing something cute, and I will quite happily watch video after video after video of cats I don’t know doing their cute shenanigans, like not landing a jump, hiding in boxes, and mewing. Heck, I even own a Read more...

Land of the Long White Cloud – but for how much longer?

Posted 11:02am Saturday 24th September 2016 by Gini Leatham

Tourism marketers love to portray New Zealand as an untouched Shangri-La. However, us humans have touched it with our clumsy, greedy fingers, and now we risk losing everything that makes our environment precious.  Gini Letham met some of the people trying to stop that Read more...

10 things you can do to combat the climate crisis

Posted 10:54am Saturday 24th September 2016 by Florence Dean

1) Take part in the movement.  If the heart-warming Disney-Pixar film ‘Bug’s Life’ taught me anything, it is that there is power in numbers. If people come together against the climate change cockroaches, then there is a chance that the devastating effects of climate change Read more...

Cold Water Corals: Ornately Splendid, Inaccessible & Under Threat

Posted 10:45am Saturday 24th September 2016 by Freya Mae O´Sullivan

In the deep ocean trenches surrounding Iceland, one would expect a barren, dark and empty terrain. Yet, exciting footage from submersibles reveals the seemingly impossible; lush coral gardens in abyssal canyons and trenches off the South-East coast. China Bone delicate and intricate as lace, these Read more...

2017 Te Rōpū Māori Nominations

Posted 12:55pm Saturday 17th September 2016 by Critic

Tumuaki (President) Rangiira Barclay-Kerr Ko Taupiri te maunga Ko Waikato te awa Ko Tainui te waka Ko Waikato te iwi Ko Maketū, ko Te Kōraha, ko Pārāwera ōku marae Ko Ngāti Mahuta te hapū   Kia ora whānau,  My Read more...

2017 OUSA Executive Election Nominees

Posted 11:37am Saturday 17th September 2016 by Critic

The nominations for the 2017 OUSA Executive have closed, and an array of good-looking candidates have put their name forward to represent you. Below are the positions and the candidates after your votes! Please note—These are the candidates personal views and in no way an endorsement of Read more...

Realising the Refugee Crisis

Posted 11:30am Saturday 17th September 2016 by Rosa Woods

"So here’s the situation, the coastguard has just picked up a boat that upturned on the way over from Turkey. Seventy people were on board; four have drowned. We expect the survivors to be arriving at camp within the next hour or two. Just remember that these people have lost members of Read more...

Porn 101

Posted 11:20am Saturday 17th September 2016 by Anonymous Bird

Throughout history humans have found ways to etch out, carve, draw, paint, record and recreate sex. This can be (fairly loosely) referred to as pornography. But, despite this being a part of the human experience for centuries, how much does your average person actually know about pornography and the Read more...

Swipe right, strap on, sneak out

Posted 11:42am Saturday 10th September 2016 by Anonymous

It was on the front page. It was a story about this new app – meant you could meet people from the comfort of your couch without a single spray of cologne. My girlfriend had just finished reading it. She said: “Would you use it? Ya know, if you were single?” Sensing a minefield I Read more...

The tales of a clothed Stilettos worker

Posted 11:32am Saturday 10th September 2016 by Katie Thain

Towards the end of last year, facing the rapidly approaching Studylink allowance cut-off date, I came to the realisation that I needed a job, and fast. One night after a few too many drinks, and a game of truth or dare that went too far, I found myself waking up the next morning with not only a Read more...

Grindr

Posted 11:10am Saturday 10th September 2016 by Anthony Gordon

You’ve heard of ‘gaydar’, right? It’s the sixth sense gay men supposedly use to detect other men’s sexual orientation. I’m dubious whether it’s real, but then again I thought the tastefully-nude Lady Gaga posters in my teenage bedroom would be enough to Read more...