Archive

Skeptic Schism | Issue 2

Posted 6:26pm Sunday 1st March 2015 by Wee Doubt

Imagine if I were to show you a million dollars in cash with one hand and a loaded gun with the other. I then tell you that I will give you the money and walk away if you believe that John Key is, at that moment, wearing a chicken suit and riding a tricycle to Helen Clark’s house for a play-date. If Read more...

Proctology | Issue 2

Posted 6:26pm Sunday 1st March 2015 by Laura Munro

T he proctor said that during Orientation, “the behaviour of most students was great.” The week had its problems, though, including a great deal of broken glass and excessive noise. The noise be came particularly troublesome for commercial operations in the student quarter. Hotels, in Read more...

Editorial | Issue 2

Posted 6:26pm Sunday 1st March 2015 by Josie Cochrane

I love people having a good rant and getting things off their chest. Go for gold, say what you want. What’s difficult though is when people take offence and then decide to use that as a platform to insult people back or think it makes them a better person. I am not easily offended — it makes you Read more...

Love is Blind | Issue 1

Posted 4:35pm Sunday 22nd February 2015 by Lovebirds

Christian A charming, puppy-loving, milkshake-drinking Dunners guy. He’s got the chat, the moves, but just needs the girl. The night started out with the lads setting a concrete limit of no more than four Diesels. I then had a couple of lovely ladies critique my outfit, thus ensuring Read more...

ODT Watch | Issue 1

Posted 4:35pm Sunday 22nd February 2015 by Steph Taylor

We’re wheely proud too. As anticipated, the ODT has provided us with some finely tuned puns. This surely answers the age old question that alliteration and puns are all you need to know when writing a headline. No, this article is not just another Read more...

From the Back of the Class | Issue 1

Posted 4:35pm Sunday 22nd February 2015 by Finbar Noble

C icero, the great Roman philosopher, lawyer and statesman, once mused that “a man who knows nothing of what happened before he was born shall remain forever a child.” Rudge from Allan Bennett’s The History Boys said, “How do I define history? It’s just one fucking thing after another.” Though Read more...

Whole lotta love | Issue 1

Posted 4:35pm Sunday 22nd February 2015 by OUSA Student Support

If you’re flatting this year, chances are you’ll have a great time and meet some amazing people, but the flatting experience can devolve into a never-ending C-grade splatter film pretty quickly. Here are a few über-simple tips and suggestions to get you off to a good start. Get Read more...

A broad view | Issue 1

Posted 4:35pm Sunday 22nd February 2015 by Emma Cotton

I n April of 2010, I sat in my living room in New Jersey and stared at the cover photo of the New York Times. The wings of a New Orleans pelican were drenched with black, sticky oil. On TV, the black, billowing smoke soared in plumes from the Deepwater Horizon rig. 757 million litres of crude Read more...

David Clark | Issue 1

Posted 4:35pm Sunday 22nd February 2015 by David Clark

Welcome to 2015. I love the vibe in North Dunedin at this time of year. A critical mass of students brings a surge of energy into the electorate — and it’s infectious. This isn’t my first appearance in Critic, but for those of you I haven’t yet met, I’m your local electorate MP David Clark. I Read more...

Crush on campus | Issue 1

Posted 4:35pm Sunday 22nd February 2015 by Miss X

Each week Critic wants to hear from you if you’re struggling to approach the man or woman of your dreams. Does she always sit on that front row seat and give the lecturer far more attention than you’re comfortable with? Does he stroll past your window each morning and your only attempts at getting Read more...

Skeptic Schism | Issue 1

Posted 4:35pm Sunday 22nd February 2015 by Wee Doubt

Ah, the 1790s. A time before germ theory and anaesthesia, when medical doctors would bleed, purge and burn their patients to restore their four “humours”, or life forces, to balance. Miasma theory, the idea that disease was caused by bad smells, was considered a radical new science. Witch-hunts were Read more...

Bouncing off the halls | Issue 1

Posted 4:35pm Sunday 22nd February 2015 by Staff Reporter

F or those Critic newbies, Bouncing off the Halls follows the lives and times of our wee freshers as they embark on the voyage of “self-discovery” in Dunedin’s illustrious halls. Here, disgusting deeds are exposed and every saucy secret is thrust into the open. Please be aware, this column is Read more...

Editorial | Issue 1

Posted 4:35pm Sunday 22nd February 2015 by Josie Cochrane

Issue one: Mission accomplished Orientation Week is a blast. Even spending the majority of it in an office trying to figure out how we’ll come up with a 48-page magazine in a week, it is still a very special time of the year. Reuniting with friends, finding new ones, partying every Read more...

Love is Blind | Issue 27

Posted 11:58pm Sunday 12th October 2014 by Lovebirds

Critic’s infamous blind date column brings you weekly shutdowns, hilariously mismatched pairs, and the occasional hookup. Each week, we lure two singletons to Di Lusso, ply them with food and alcohol, then wait for their reports to arrive in our inbox. If this sounds like you, email Read more...

Too much screens | Issue 27

Posted 11:58pm Sunday 12th October 2014 by Sam Fleury

Free your mind for a moment of whatever you know of Hannibal Lecter from the cinema. Let go of Anthony Hopkins and fava beans. Don't let go of them completely, because they'll be relevant soon enough, but for now, set them aside. In their place, I want you to picture Mads Mikkelsen in an Read more...

Science, Bitches | Issue 27

Posted 11:58pm Sunday 12th October 2014 by Hannah Twigg

Well, we’re finally here. The final column for 2014. We hope you’ve had an excellent year, because we’ve had an awesome run and a great couple of years bringing science to Critic. We thought we’d take our final column as time to reflect on the science we’ve brought to the column, and all the fun Read more...

Defending the kingdom | Issue 27

Posted 11:58pm Sunday 12th October 2014 by Elisabeth Larsen

What did you do in the last 15 minutes? Walk to Uni, waste time on facebook, take a long shower that annoyed your flatties? 15 minutes feels eternal from a Monday morning lecture theatre, but in the grand scheme it’s a fraction of a microsecond. Yet every 15 minutes something happens that is very Read more...

Queer Eye | Issue 27

Posted 11:58pm Sunday 12th October 2014 by Sir Lloyd Queerington

Looking back over my last five years as a queer rights activist, I have noticed that I face the same ignorant bullshit from people. Here are my top five: So like now you have marriage equality, what is left to fight for? There is this idea out there that achieving marriage equality was the Read more...

ODT Watch | Issue 27

Posted 11:58pm Sunday 12th October 2014 by Kristen Stewart

Very perceptive, ODT. Examination period has truly begun. Yes, we suppose students could get their applications in earlier. Or the government could pull its head in and give Studylink the resourcing it needs. Not that we don’t like listening to an entire Brooke Fraser album while Read more...

Editorial | Issue 27

Posted 11:58pm Sunday 12th October 2014 by Zane Pocock

The title says it all: due to the complete exhaustion that follows the constant sprint that is producing Critic every week, I genuinely wish this final editorial were a fluff piece. But thanks to a seemingly indestructible rape culture in our country, it seems unjust to waste an opportunity to Read more...

Love Is Blind | Issue 26

Posted 1:49pm Sunday 5th October 2014 by Lovebirds

BoyWell, we didn’t have sex. I thought I would save you all the time by just coming out and saying that. But for those who want to read on … It was as I went to the Octagon that I realised that I didn’t know where Di Lusso was. Resembling a man with his thumb up his arse, I managed to Google Read more...

Too much screens | Issue 26

Posted 1:49pm Sunday 5th October 2014 by Sam Fleury

I'd love to visit New York City. I feel like I know exactly what it would be like. Part of the reason I'm so certain is that there are a bunch of shows I love which largely take place around Brooklyn and Manhattan, which definitely feel like they're happening in the same place. With any luck, that Read more...

Queer Eye | Issue 26

Posted 1:49pm Sunday 5th October 2014 by Sir Lloyd Queerington

A pretty, young, white, rich, heterosexual, cisgender woman got up at the United Nations and made a speech about how important it is for men to get on board with movements towards greater gender equality. It was a nice, non-confrontational speech that has already been spread widely on social media Read more...

Defending the kingdom | Issue 26

Posted 1:49pm Sunday 5th October 2014 by Oska Rego

While teaching and travelling in what is now Zimbabwe and Malawi, my grandmother chose not to accept the barriers of apartheid. She stuck out as a lone white woman amongst African friends knowing that at least a passive stand was the moral thing to do. Parallels between racism and speciesism have Read more...

Science, Bitches | Issue 26

Posted 1:49pm Sunday 5th October 2014 by Elsie Jacobson

I’m pretty sure everyone reading this has had antibiotics before. To be honest, they’re pretty great. But the way we use them has to change. When Louis Pasteur first noticed a fungi killing his bacteria, the arms race between bacteria and antibiotics began. In 1928, he noticed that a compound the Read more...

ODT Watch | Issue 26

Posted 1:49pm Sunday 5th October 2014 by Kristen Stewart

Battle of the sheep took place right under our noses, with “Big Ben” taking the win. Old time favourite Shrek had his unofficial world record for heaviest fleece nabbed by Big Ben’s 28kg wool load. ODT reports that there were no hard feelings between the two. Maybe because Shrek the sheep has Read more...

Editorial | Issue 26

Posted 1:49pm Sunday 5th October 2014 by Zane Pocock

With letters flooding in to Critic, it is high time to address the feature “Call Me Crazy,” published in Critic Issue 24 (22 September). Before I go on, if I’m honest with myself, there is a balance in my opinion here. On one hand, without the benefit of hindsight, I would likely have Read more...

Love Is Blind | Issue 25

Posted 2:58pm Sunday 28th September 2014 by Lovebirds

Critic’s infamous blind date column brings you weekly shutdowns, hilariously mismatched pairs, and the occasional hookup. Each week, we lure two singletons to Di Lusso, ply them with food and alcohol, then wait for their reports to arrive in our inbox. If this sounds like you, email Read more...

Too much screens | Issue 25

Posted 2:58pm Sunday 28th September 2014 by Sam Fleury

An ungodly amalgam of basically the two most disparate genres one could think of — sketch comedy and hospital soap — Green Wing was basically conceived on a dare. A full hour-long in length, each episode of Green Wing is like a little oasis of strange, with comedic scenes of interpersonal drama and Read more...

Queer Eye | Issue 25

Posted 2:58pm Sunday 28th September 2014 by Sir Lloyd Queerington

Firstly thanks to the readers of Queer Eye who responded to the guest columns on Lesbian Sex. My guest columnist appreciated the feedback and the discussion it inspired about the diversity of the queer community. In relation to this feedback I need to make the following declarations: the following Read more...

Defending the kingdom | Issue 25

Posted 2:58pm Sunday 28th September 2014 by Elisabeth Larsen

More and more people are rejecting the “absolute” nature of veganism. The “all or nothing” attitude can be very alienating, and even put people off considering going vegan. And it’s difficult in today’s world as well. We aren’t growing our own crops, instead relying on the integrated markets. Read more...

Science, Bitches | Issue 25

Posted 2:58pm Sunday 28th September 2014 by Audrey Nelson

“We have got a body in that RV, and it's getting warmer outside, understand? And we have got to do something about that soon. And in a way that no one will ever find it. Now that last part is very, very important. Therefore, it seems to me that our best course of action would be chemical Read more...

ODT Watch | Issue 25

Posted 2:58pm Sunday 28th September 2014 by Kristen Stewart

A young woman has been awarded a literary award for tweeting. What a sad time we are in, when tweeting is being acknowledged as literature. It won’t be long until they start awarding the best YouTube comments. Even this woman stopped her limo on the way to get married to make her vote Read more...

Editorial | Issue 25

Posted 2:58pm Sunday 28th September 2014 by Zane Pocock

In some of the most significant (and rare) space news to reach the public recently, it was revealed that India’s satellite now orbiting Earth’s near neighbour Mars cost the equivalent of only NZ$95 million. Meanwhile, US military spending last year alone cost NZ$804 billion, all the while funds to Read more...

Love Is Blind | Issue 24

Posted 3:00pm Sunday 21st September 2014 by Lovebirds

Critic’s infamous blind date column brings you weekly shutdowns, hilariously mismatched pairs, and the occasional hookup. Each week, we lure two singletons to Di Lusso, ply them with food and alcohol, then wait for their reports to arrive in our inbox. If this sounds like you, email Read more...

Defending the kingdom | Issue 24

Posted 3:00pm Sunday 21st September 2014 by Freya Sawbridge

My friend posted a video of a group of girls torturing some birds in a local park. She was outraged by this act. Fair enough. Nonetheless, for me, the incident highlighted the idea that if one person is unkind to an animal it is considered to be cruelty, but when a lot of people are unkind to Read more...

Queer Eye | Issue 24

Posted 3:00pm Sunday 21st September 2014 by Lesbi-Honest

As promised, here is the follow up to last week’s “Lesbian Sex 101” column! This week we are looking at the top four lesbian sex positions. These positions were chosen based on a combination of Internet popularity, as well as my own personal preference, so they do not reflect all lesbians. Read more...

Science, Bitches | Issue 24

Posted 3:00pm Sunday 21st September 2014 by Hannah Twigg

If you’re not a coffee drinker, you’re probably a tea person. What do these delicious beverages have in common? One of society’s favourite drugs: caffeine. If we take a look at the plants these beverages come from, they look pretty different. Why is it, then, that these two species of plant produce Read more...

Too much screens | Issue 24

Posted 3:00pm Sunday 21st September 2014 by Sam Fleury

Two per cent of the world's population disappears in the blink of an eye. Those who disappeared don't really seem to have anything in common, morally or otherwise, as they were taken equally and at random from all across the globe, and the world is left grasping around in the dark for answers. HBO's Read more...

ODT Watch | Issue 24

Posted 3:00pm Sunday 21st September 2014 by Kristen Stewart

Nearly 10,000 people aged between 18 and 34 in Dunedin are not enrolled to vote. Was the cover of last week’s Critic not clear enough? This is one way to raise money for a new children’s playground: lure people to an old derelict hospital, bring it to life as a creepy asylum, and Read more...

Bouncing off the halls | Issue 24

Posted 3:00pm Sunday 21st September 2014 by Staff Reporter

Let’s crack into it, shall we? We begin with breaking news: an underground, black-market nightclub has sprung up at the very heart of one of Dunedin’s most prestigious halls. At Studholme – okay, I lied about the prestigious part – one student turned his bedroom into a Read more...

Guest Editorial | Issue 24

Posted 3:00pm Sunday 21st September 2014 by Josie Cochrane

Elections are over! By the time you read this, you'll know who is the new top dog of the Government. I'll keep my election talk to a minimum here, it would be painful to both you and I to spend any more time on that topic. But in the middle of the political shit storm that has occurred over the Read more...

Love Is Blind | Issue 23

Posted 4:38pm Sunday 14th September 2014 by Lovebirds

Critic’s infamous blind date column brings you weekly shutdowns, hilariously mismatched pairs, and the occasional hookup. Each week, we lure two singletons to Di Lusso, ply them with food and alcohol, then wait for their reports to arrive in our inbox. If this sounds like you, email Read more...

Defending the kingdom | Issue 23

Posted 4:38pm Sunday 14th September 2014 by Elisabeth Larsen

As a student, I’m always keen to scope out cheap restaurants. Circadian Rhythm on St Andrew’s Street (just down from Starbucks, Auckland girls) is one of my favourites. The food is excellent value for money, the staff are lovely, they have adorable hipster-friendly board-games and squashy couches, Read more...

Queer Eye | Issue 23

Posted 4:38pm Sunday 14th September 2014 by Sir Lloyd Queerington

Whether it’s from the privacy of your private porn collection, or from your weekly Orange is the New Black fix, I’m sure the majority of Critic readers have seen some kind of raunchy lesbian sex scene. But how accurate are those scissoring scenes that you pleasure yourself to in portraying how Read more...

Science, Bitches | Issue 23

Posted 4:38pm Sunday 14th September 2014 by Elsie Jacobson

It’s another Monday morning. You stumble out of bed, bleary-eyed, and throw on some clothes. You’re running late, so you chew a piece of toast as you climb onto your Moa. Trotting to uni, you barely dodge some asshole’s Haast Eagle on Castle Street and make it just in time for your 9am. “I wouldn’t Read more...

Too much screens | Issue 23

Posted 4:38pm Sunday 14th September 2014 by Sam Fleury

With the rise of home video, streaming, and widespread torrenting of TV shows, it's become clear in recent years that the lines between television and online video content are artificial. TV was once defined by its limits (one new episode of your favourite show a week, lasting half an hour or an Read more...

ODT Watch | Issue 23

Posted 4:38pm Sunday 14th September 2014 by Kristen Stewart

Walking hand in hand on the beach, staring into each other’s eyes across a romantic dinner, going upstairs to consummate the marriage yet again ... all normal activities for a honeymoon. Drunk driving to pick up your sloshed bride after a night in the cells? Not so much. The police Read more...

Guest Editorial | Issue 23

Posted 4:38pm Sunday 14th September 2014 by Carys Goodwin

I wonder what I’ll do after the election. Have time to think, I’d imagine, or perhaps I’ll finally get around to watching The Wire. No doubt by the time the next election has rolled around, the stress-induced mania will have faded into an aching nostalgia, and I’ll be left wishing for the first door Read more...

ODT Watch | Issue 22

Posted 11:52pm Sunday 7th September 2014 by Allison Hess

Hoho! This headline is perhaps a little crude but nonetheless not a bad pun coming from ODT (for once). A couple of would-be thieves failed to getaway after raiding a jewellery store; why, you might ask? One had a broken leg and the other a prosthetic leg – not exactly ideal conditions to be in Read more...