Archive

Dunedin: The China of counterfeit wristbands

Posted 5:13pm Sunday 21st April 2013 by Bella Macdonald

The limited amount of tickets, which came in the form of a green wristband, available to this year’s Hyde Street Keg Party led to a thriving “green market” in the days preceding the event. An entrepreneurial Hyde Street keg party attendee tried to outwit authorities by ordering a large quantity of Read more...

You can hide the event, but you can’t Hyde the Street

Posted 5:13pm Sunday 21st April 2013 by Bella Macdonald

After much concern and debate, the annual Hyde Street Keg Party took place on Saturday 13 April before the watchful eyes of media, the University, and other relevant parties, who finally declared that behaviour was “OK”. 3500 students turned up to the event, which officially started at 9am Read more...

Please can you teach me how to Dougie

Posted 5:49pm Sunday 14th April 2013 by Gus Gawn

The celebration is one of my favourite parts of sport. It serves so many purposes: an outpouring of raw emotion; a message to your opponent or the crowd; a “look at me” moment especially for the cameras; or pure relief. The days of manners and sportsmanship limiting celebration to a nod and a Read more...

Cowardly bag snatcher adds to vast collection

Posted 5:49pm Sunday 14th April 2013 by Thomas Stevenson

Andersons Bay Cemetery has become a hotspot for the lowest form of crime ever conceived: snatching someone’s handbag from their car while they visit a grave. The cemetery has experienced three occurrences of the ghoulish crime over just two weeks. Most recently, on 30 March local woman Sybil Read more...

The Jolly Exec Report

Posted 5:49pm Sunday 14th April 2013 by Nick Jolly

There are many ways to spend $50k. $3 dinners should not be one of them. Unfortunately, our great leader Francisco believes that they should be. Luckily, this mindless spending has been curbed by the restraint of a sensible few. I live in a flat that is close enough to the Clubs and Socs building to Read more...

"Quite steamed" scarfie pays the price for trying to keep warm

Posted 5:49pm Sunday 14th April 2013 by Josie Cochrane

A second-year Otago student has been sentenced to 150 hours of community service following his arrest for endangering public safety on Friday 29 March. The student spoke with Critic directly and has asked to remain anonymous. At about 1am, a “huge fire with about 100 people around it” was Read more...

"Pay off your fucking loans" - Govt

Posted 5:49pm Sunday 14th April 2013 by Gerard Barbalich

Economically-minded students will be disappointed to discover that the Government has scrapped the voluntary repayment bonus for student loans, effective from 1 April 2013. While the incentive was in place, borrowers who repaid more than the minimum amount required had a 10% bonus credited to that Read more...

Critic manufactures story based on ODT's manufactured story

Posted 5:49pm Sunday 14th April 2013 by Sara Lamb-Miller

The ODT’s Sunday article claiming that Dunedin is the true Garden City of New Zealand sinks to a new low, even for them. It seems mean-spirited to take Christchurch’s last claim to fame away while they’re not looking. They even have gardens made out of bits of rubble now, in the empty spots where Read more...

An-Nur Kiwi Academy

Posted 5:49pm Sunday 14th April 2013 by Thomas Raethel

After years of planning, an all-male Islamic boarding school is confirmed to be opening in South Dunedin. Built on the site of a former Catholic primary school, An-Nur Kiwi Academy will be the third Muslim school in New Zealand, and the first outside of Auckland. Formerly owned by the Dunedin Read more...

Driver admits liability in cycle death

Posted 5:49pm Sunday 14th April 2013 by Sarah Bayly

Beverley Peat, who caused the death of Dentistry lecturer Dr. Chris He last November by opening her car door as he was cycling past, has been charged with “causing death by careless operation of a vehicle,” and remanded on bail for sentencing in May. Dr. He, described by a student as a Read more...

Getting Down and Nerdy

Posted 5:49pm Sunday 14th April 2013 by Jamie Breen

In a recent article published in the ODT, University of Otago Physics lecturer Tim Molten pointed out that in New Zealand greater value is placed on sports than on the sciences. Critic is absolutely shocked. “Imagine if you were to become a Physicist and you became a hero and everyone bought Read more...

Racist Danish Runs Rampant

Posted 5:49pm Sunday 14th April 2013 by Claudia Herron

The Maori community has set its harpoons on foreign territory after a Danish MP denounced Maori culture as “uncivilised and grotesque.” An opinion piece published by MP Marie Krarup in the Danish newspaper Berlingske revealed that a powhiri made her feel uncomfortable, especially after being Read more...

Councillors counselled

Posted 5:49pm Sunday 14th April 2013 by Jack Montgomerie

Dunedin City Councillors are to be warned against conflicts of interest at every meeting, just weeks after the Office of the Auditor General (OAG) cleared two councillors of voting for funding that would help their businesses. Councillors Kate Wilson and Richard Thomson, both of whom are part Read more...

Victoria Victorious in Research Rankings

Posted 5:49pm Sunday 14th April 2013 by Callum Fredric

In its trademark bureaucratic and inaccessible style, the Tertiary Education Commission has published the results of its 2012 Quality Evaluation. The evaluation, which is the first since 2006, ranked the research performance of over 6,300 tertiary staff across the country. Despite the influx Read more...

Lord Monckton

Posted 5:49pm Sunday 14th April 2013 by Claudia Herron

Controversial climate change skeptic Lord Christopher Monckton will share his views with Dunedin next week as part of a nationwide speaking tour. His Dunedin visit is being organised by the New Zealand Climate Science Coalition. Lord Monckton is a British journalist, politician, former Read more...

Smelling Gastly helps Weezing and Koffing

Posted 5:49pm Sunday 14th April 2013 by Bella Macdonald

Professors around the globe have been blown away by a recent Otago Uni study which found that hydrogen sulphide (H2S), the gas that gives farts their characteristic odour, could reduce the symptoms of asthma. The results came from a sample of over 1600 Rotorua residents, a popular tourist Read more...

Anonymous Jerk Knocks Over Cones

Posted 5:49pm Sunday 14th April 2013 by Callum Fredric

An unknown vandal systematically knocked down two lines of road cones set up to protect the path on the Museum Lawn while it was being repaved. The crime was committed on Thursday night, which is regarded by many as one of the two main drinking nights of the week. Alcohol may have been a Read more...

Hyde Street Sold Out

Posted 5:49pm Sunday 14th April 2013 by Bella Macdonald

Tickets to the infamous Hyde Street keg party sold out by midday when they went on sale at OUSA on both Monday 8 and Tuesday 9 April. Although the 500 tickets available on Monday were sold from 9am instead of 11am as publicised, OUSA President Francisco Hernandez reported that “every man and Read more...

Hör∂ur Torfason

Posted 4:40pm Sunday 7th April 2013 by Zane Pocock

Hör∂ur Torfason, widely credited as “the man who brought participatory democracy to Iceland,” delivered several open speeches in Dunedin on 27 and 28 March. Held in the Burns 1 Lecture Theatre, the last of these speeches was entitled “Modern Democracy and the Iceland Experience,” and was Read more...

Still the best place to defecate on campus

Posted 4:40pm Sunday 7th April 2013 by Sam McChesney

Renovations to the University’s staff club facility are expected to run about $150,000 over budget, bringing the total cost of the project above $750,000. The building is more than a century old, having opened in 1907, and has been the staff club since 1980. Because of the club’s highly Read more...

Rabbits take revenge

Posted 4:40pm Sunday 7th April 2013 by Bella Macdonald

A 26-year-old man ended up in hospital on Saturday 30 March after an attempt to make his own hot cross bunnies turned sour and resulted in a gunshot wound to his own hand and the removal of two fingers. The man had been attending the Great Easter Bunny Hunt in Central Otago, trying to Read more...

University set to continue annual offering of a lecturer's life

Posted 4:40pm Sunday 7th April 2013 by Zane Pocock

Expectations that the University would put a bicycle lane through campus in order to get cyclists off Dunedin’s dangerous labyrinth of one-way streets have been shut down, due to “pedestrian safety concerns” and the University’s current cycle ban. Speculation started after the death of Read more...

ODT fails to clean up rubbish journalism

Posted 4:40pm Sunday 7th April 2013 by Sam McChesney

The Otago Daily Times has officially jumped the shark, reporting on the efforts of a heroic Dunedin trash vigilante. A full eight days before April Fools’, the ODT ran a story entitled “Rubbish dumper made to clean up.” The story was penned by the same reporter responsible for February’s Read more...

Debating thieves show audacity

Posted 4:40pm Sunday 7th April 2013 by Claudia Herron

Stilt walkers, prowling lions and some hilarious misuse of the word “advice” helped to kick off another successful year for business incubator Audacious. Taking place in the Business School Atrium, the evening saw entrepreneurs Alex Dong and Logan Elliot, both from vastly different business arenas, Read more...

Minimum wage plummets!

Posted 4:40pm Sunday 7th April 2013 by Sam McChesney

Student wage slaves are set to be worse off after a raft of changes to the minimum wage, student loans and Kiwisaver came into effect on Monday 1 April. The minimum wage went up to $13.75 per hour, an increase of 25c. However, the minimum student loan repayment rate increased from 10 per cent to 12 Read more...

Standbys stood down

Posted 4:40pm Sunday 7th April 2013 by Sam McChesney

Air New Zealand has decided to scrap its popular standby flights system from 6 May. The system, which was introduced last year, allowed passengers to catch last-minute flights around the country for $69-$89. The move will hit Dunedin flyers particularly hard, with the lack of competition in Read more...

Hernandez hard at work

Posted 4:40pm Sunday 7th April 2013 by Sam McChesney

OUSA President Francisco Hernandez has released his first quarterly report, containing a detailed breakdown of the progress he has made toward his plethora of campaign pledges. The report, which stretches to 15 pages, has been kindly summarised by Critic in this 265-word article. The first Read more...

Hail Brittennia

Posted 4:40pm Sunday 7th April 2013 by Basti Menkes

From 12-24 April the Department of Music is hosting a festival to celebrate the centennial birthday of the renowned English composer Benjamin Britten. Britten was a key figure in twentieth-century British classical music, composing music for opera, film scores and more. The festival, directed Read more...

Ironic lack of fringes among festival winners

Posted 4:40pm Sunday 7th April 2013 by Claudia Herron

Dunedin Comics proved to be surprisingly hilarious after taking out eight of the 12 awards to celebrate the end of Dunedin’s tenth Monster Fringe Festival. The Festival, which ran from 14-24 March, held its awards ceremony on Monday 25 March at Queens. The ceremony featured comedian Simon McKinney Read more...

ODT makes shit up for the last time

Posted 4:40pm Sunday 7th April 2013 by Bella Macdonald

The Otago Daily Times reported that seven fires were lit in the student area on Saturday 23 March. The 25 March article “Students blame authorities” also claimed that 300 people had gathered on the street by 11pm, and that revellers had to be dispersed by “more than a dozen police officers, Read more...

Logic prevails in OUSA by-election

Posted 4:40pm Sunday 7th April 2013 by Staff Reporter

No Confidence crashed to a stunning defeat in the OUSA Campaigns Officer by-election, collecting a meagre 2.7 per cent of the vote as Masters student Rachael Davidson swept to victory. Davidson collected 189 votes, or 39 per cent – a margin of 47 votes (9.7 per cent) over second-placed Dan Read more...

Large student party tipped to occur on local street

Posted 4:40pm Sunday 7th April 2013 by Sam McChesney

Students are gearing up for the 2013 Hyde Street Keg Party as OUSA, the University and the DCC nervously look on. The event has come under heavy criticism in recent years, and it is widely believed that any serious mishaps will spell the end for the party and potentially lead to a North Dunedin-wide Read more...

Bros at da Footy

Posted 4:40pm Sunday 7th April 2013 by Gus Gawn

This report on the All Whites’ match with New Caledonia the other day is in two parts. The first involves me complaining about why the match was so disappointing. The second is a collection of quotes that I jotted down from the students behind me who used me as a shield so they could drink their Read more...

Whyte Men Can Run

Posted 4:40pm Sunday 7th April 2013 by Gus Gawn

Not much about Andrew Whyte would lead you to think that he is one of the fastest men in New Zealand. For a start, he is white. Really white. The kind of white that comes from growing up on a farm in Clinton, Southland rather than the beaches of the Caribbean. He is also not particularly Read more...

Row, row, row your boat

Posted 6:30pm Sunday 24th March 2013 by John Burton

Remember last year? When the London Olympics were on? Or even three years ago, when the Rowing World Champs were hosted up in the North Island? Well you should. Let’s face it, when it comes to sports we as a nation rely heavily on pieces of equipment to compete. Usually a boat. I had the pleasure of Read more...

OUSA tasked with getting Uni Games back on track

Posted 6:30pm Sunday 24th March 2013 by Gus Gawn

The Uni Games are returning to the University of Otago in 2013. The annual inter-university sporting contest has been on the decline in recent years, but this year OUSA will manage a pared-back event in Dunedin from 22-24 April 2013. OUSA Exec member and Recreation Officer Blake Luff said: Read more...

OUSA fingered by the finger of student opinion

Posted 6:30pm Sunday 24th March 2013 by Staff Reporter

OUSA President Francisco Hernandez and Education Officer Jordan Taylor attended the Higher Education Summit and Expo 2013 last week in Auckland. The only students present, they assured Critic that they were not, in fact, gatecrashing, and were “sort of” invited. Hernandez described the event Read more...

Council attempts to pimp ghetto

Posted 6:30pm Sunday 24th March 2013 by Bella Macdonald

As ongoing refurbishment of the Queens Garden and Vogel Street area of Dunedin continues, an announcement by Dunedin councillors declared that the area will be revitalised for “creative” purposes. While Critic speculates that this is an attempt to create a similar alternative culture to Read more...

"Shit House Chateau" now simply "House"

Posted 6:30pm Sunday 24th March 2013 by Zane Pocock

The winner of OUSA’s 2012 “Worst Student Flat” award is being done up as part of an initiative to make student flats more acceptable to live in. Organisers hope the Shit House Chateau, at 47 London Street, will serve as a positive example of what can be done to improve the standard of living Read more...

Marmageddon

Posted 6:30pm Sunday 24th March 2013 by Sam McChesney

Shoppers flooded supermarket aisles on Wednesday to restock on their favourite yeasty spread. Sanitarium, which incidentally pays no tax on its profits due to being owned by a religious organisation, called a halt to Marmite production in late 2011 after God destroyed its Christchurch Read more...

Studylink shit

Posted 6:30pm Sunday 24th March 2013 by Bella Macdonald

Students have gone weeks with no income as Studylink has failed to answer applicants’ phone calls. Criticisms have arisen that the service would struggle to organise a bun fight in a bakery. Following an “unusually” high volume of calls regarding student funds, Studylink is yet to process Read more...

Dunedin to become funnier, famous-er

Posted 6:30pm Sunday 24th March 2013 by Sam McChesney

Two of TV3’s 7 Days comedians, Ben Hurley and Steve Wrigley, are to visit Dunedin in early April as part of their World Famous In ... comedy tour. The tour, which has already taken in Palmerston North, New Plymouth and Hamilton, will be filmed and turned into a show, Ben and Steve: World Famous In Read more...

Critic Seeks New Talent

Posted 6:30pm Sunday 24th March 2013 by Dennis Larson

Critic magazine, winner of the Aotearoa Student Press Association’s “Best Publication” award in 2012, is reportedly seeking talented, attractive staff members for a number of exciting and rewarding positions. The first position advertised is that of Sub-Editor, a 12 hour per week role. Sam Read more...

Blaze against the machine

Posted 6:30pm Sunday 24th March 2013 by Claudia Herron

Student political group NORML has “big plans” to sidestep the University’s new smoke-free policy, having purchased a “fleet of vapourisers” and putting more emphasis on edibles such as brownies and cookies. As an alternative to smoking the cannabis plant, vapourisers extract the active Read more...

Critic devotes page 7 to permanent by-election coverage

Posted 6:30pm Sunday 24th March 2013 by Staff Reporter

OUSA will finally get to heal the gaping hole at the centre of the Executive, with a by-election for Ruby Sycamore-Smith’s vacated Campaigns Officer portfolio to be held on Thursday 28 March. Voting will open at 9am and close at 4pm, and the winner will receive a free stuffed toy (to be confirmed). Read more...

Couch burning no longer a healthy diversion

Posted 6:30pm Sunday 24th March 2013 by Claudia Herron

Pyromaniac students may well be losing their get-out-of-jail free cards after Police announced they would no longer offer pre-charge warnings or diversion to those caught lighting couch fires. Fire starters would now meet their match in both disciplinary action under the University’s Code of Conduct Read more...

Test Match Induces Persistent Vegetative State in Spectators

Posted 5:43pm Sunday 17th March 2013 by Gus Gawn

The first Test Match between New Zealand and England at the University Oval ended in a dour draw. Day one was rained out and while England’s batsmen made a valiant effort to set up a result by throwing their wickets away on day two, their sacrifices were to no avail. New Zealand fans could Read more...

"Fins Up and Bums in the Air"

Posted 5:43pm Sunday 17th March 2013 by Angus Grayson

As far as extreme sports go, underwater hockey, also known as “Aqua Challenge,” will not be at the X Games anytime soon. Often ridiculed for being a hobby and not a sport, Aqua Challenge is frowned upon by most mainstream athletes. However, fourth-year student Louise Daley has managed to push past Read more...

DJ Fadez Away

Posted 5:43pm Sunday 17th March 2013 by Sam McChesney

The Dunedin music fraternity is shocked and saddened to hear of the retirement of popular local musician DJ Fadez, who on Wednesday announced via Facebook that he would be hanging up his mic for good. Fadez, a.k.a. Tim Patrick, made the decision after the hard drive containing his life’s work Read more...

Critic runs fluff piece in order to show off pretty infographic

Posted 5:43pm Sunday 17th March 2013 by Sam McChesney

If Facebook likes were votes, the Greens would win the next election by a landslide. The Daily Blog published the results of a hypothetical social media election on Wednesday 13 March, putting the Greens as sole governing party with 63 seats. Ever the politics nerd, Critic re-crunched the Read more...