Archive

Five sports writers worth reading

Posted 4:33pm Sunday 19th August 2012 by Gus Gawn

The thing about sports writing is that there’s a shitload of it out there, and most of it is complete garbage. I call it “down the pub syndrome”. In the past, semi-literate sports hogs would reserve their moronic ramblings for down the pub. Not anymore. There are enough “user content” sports sites Read more...

What if Nadzeya Ostapchuk is innocent?

Posted 4:33pm Sunday 19th August 2012 by Gus Gawn

We knew it all along, didn't we? That hideous she-beast from the wilds of Belarus could never beat “our Val” without cheating. They're all cheats over there, aren't they? Bloody communists. She looks like a man! She’s a filthy cheat! Ban her for life! And so on. It seems like everything just Read more...

University explores subconscious undercurrents of religion

Posted 4:26pm Sunday 19th August 2012 by Charlotte Greenfield

A recent study at Otago’s Department of Psychology suggests that the fear of death subconsciously makes us more religious. Among atheists, thoughts of death correlate with an increased receptivity to religious belief at an unconscious level and growing scepticism at a conscious level. For Read more...

SOULS

Posted 4:26pm Sunday 19th August 2012 by Zane Pocock

SOULS – the Society of Otago University Law Students – is holding its Annual General Meeting this Monday August 20, followed by elections for the ten volunteer members of the 2013 Student Executive. The AGM will run from 11am to 5pm in the 8th Floor Common Room of the Richardson Building, and will Read more...

Mid-semester Crime Roundup

Posted 4:26pm Sunday 19th August 2012 by Callum Fredric

A serial burglar from Christchurch had a pretty sweet routine going – drive down to Dunedin for a couple of days, saunter into student flats through an unlocked door or window, steal laptops and other goodies, then head back up the highway to safety. But his luck ran out on Saturday August 11 when a Read more...

Nuclear Radiation Gives Survivors Oratory Superpowers

Posted 4:26pm Sunday 19th August 2012 by Josie Adams

On Friday the 10th, Dunedin was honoured to play host to two survivors of the infamous Hiroshima bombing. Shigeko Niimoto Sasamori, 80, and Michimasa Hirata, 77, were children – thirteen and nine, respectively – when the U.S. dropped the atomic bomb “Little Boy” onto the Japanese city Hiroshima on Read more...

Dunedin Has “A Bit of a Peeping Problem”

Posted 4:26pm Sunday 19th August 2012 by Bella Macdonald

Dunedin police have advised the University to amend its internet porn ban after six reported sightings of sexually frustrated Peeping Toms masturbating outside bedroom windows at a number of Dunedin flats. Since the year began, six offences of “peeping or peering” have been reported to the Read more...

Orange Election Guy Demands Change, Human Flesh

Posted 4:26pm Sunday 19th August 2012 by Callum Fredric

The Electoral Commission has released a draft proposal paper on changes to the MMP electoral system. The paper contains several recommendations that, if implemented, could dramatically alter the battleground for the 2014 election and beyond. The two most significant recommendations are that Read more...

Sharks almost win, Eels slightly better

Posted 5:14pm Sunday 12th August 2012 by Gus Gawn

Hayden Parker will never have to pay for another beer at the Taieri Rugby Club after he kicked the Eels to a show-stopping victory in the Premier club rugby final last Saturday. Parker’s 47-metre penalty with time up on the Forsyth Barr Stadium clock capped off a 24-22 comeback victory, sealing his Read more...

Rugby Analysis

Posted 5:14pm Sunday 12th August 2012 by Mavis Shamwell

I’ll start with the names: “Eels” and “Sharks”. We all know that in the animal kingdom this would be an unfair fight, but in the Club Rugby finals it seemed like a pretty even match. This made it difficult for me to decide who to support (my usual rule is to go for the underdog). That said, the Read more...

Religion in Sport? No Way.

Posted 5:14pm Sunday 12th August 2012 by Gus Gawn

Religion is everywhere in sport. If you watch any sport at all, it’s impossible to avoid seeing someone thank the big man upstairs for letting them make all the people they have beaten feel like shit. Luckily in New Zealand we like to keep it to a minimum, and thankfully when a prominent Read more...

Somewhere in Dunedin An Executive Waits

Posted 5:14pm Sunday 12th August 2012 by Staff Reporter

OUSA has set the voting dates of September 24 to 27 for the election of next year’s OUSA student executive. Nominations will be open from September 17 to 20, with the results to be announced on the evening of the 27th. Each of the ten positions on the executive is up for grabs, and with Read more...

Community Law Centres Face Judgment

Posted 5:14pm Sunday 12th August 2012 by Zane Pocock

New Zealand’s Community Law Centres are engulfed in a shroud of mystery after the Ministry of Justice indicated that it will move to cut down to 10 and 15 Community Law contracts across the country, instead of the current regime of 25 individually funded centres. Supervising Solicitor Caryl Read more...

Rich Domino’s Sign-Wavers Get Richer

Posted 5:14pm Sunday 12th August 2012 by Margot Taylor

Students have earned $780,735 more through the Student Job Search scheme in the last 12 months than in the previous 12-month period. Figures released earlier this week show that students earned $3,785,938 through SJS for the 12 months to August, which is 26% higher than the $3,005,203 earned Read more...

Mongrel Mob Abuse Public’s Trust

Posted 5:14pm Sunday 12th August 2012 by Bella Macdonald

The Mongrel Mob are due for a stern slap on the wrist after being accused of having their fingers in too many pies. Police allege that Mongrel Mob members obtained money from a government funded anti-violence program, run through the Whanau Ora scheme, and used it to buy cannabis. Over a Read more...

“Treatygate”

Posted 5:14pm Sunday 12th August 2012 by Callum Fredric

Critic has obtained documents from controversial race campaigner Louis Crimp, setting out a plan for a $2million campaign aiming to make New Zealand a “colourblind” (racially neutral) state. The campaign will be split into two distinct “brands”, known as “Treatygate” and “Colourblind State”. Read more...

Tertiary education to the Future!

Posted 5:14pm Sunday 12th August 2012 by Claudia Herron

A board of panellists comprised of tertiary education staff, students, and politicians gathered at the Otago Museum on Wednesday 8 August for the Tertiary Education Union’s latest public forum “Speak up for Education”. The forum had a distinctly left-wing slant, being chaired by Radio 1 Read more...

Shit's Getting Kronic

Posted 4:49pm Sunday 5th August 2012 by Zane Pocock

Peter Dunne is at it again. After receiving a less than satisfactory do from his Kronic-tripping hairstylist, he has apparently put the final nail in the coffin of “dangerous” synthetic drugs, with a new policy designed to deal with syntheic drugs like Kronic. This policy will explicitly ban the Read more...

Greg goes to The New Zealand Sports Hall of Fame

Posted 4:49pm Sunday 5th August 2012 by Greg Hall

Something new on your sporting pages this week. For a change of pace, Critic sent the bravest and most hirsute reporter we could find on the most dangerous assignment we could dream up. Faux-Geordie reporter Greg Hall was instructed to stake out the New Zealand Sports Hall of Fame, examine some Read more...

Girls Get Down And Derby

Posted 4:49pm Sunday 5th August 2012 by Gus Gawn

Roller derby is the marmite of sports: you either love it or you don't. There are no half-measures when it comes to roller derby. Those who love it are obsessed with it. It takes over their lives and the lives of their families. People who don't really couldn't give a shit. I’m not ashamed to Read more...

Air NZ Removes GPS

Posted 4:49pm Sunday 5th August 2012 by Bella Macdonald

Air New Zealand has finally realised that Dunedin has some tourism opportunities, and has announced fare reductions of 11 – 41% for regional routes, which will save travellers on the Auckland to Dunedin route $14 per trip. The fare reductions, which will apply to flights after September 1 Read more...

Calves “Slaughtered Like Cattle”

Posted 4:49pm Sunday 5th August 2012 by Callum Fredric

A merciless attack on four calves on a farm north of Dunedin has left the farm’s owners and their stock gutted. The attack occurred on June 19 between 10:30am and 5pm at a farm in Seacliff, roughly 30km north of Dunedin. Critic spoke to Constable Jon-Paul Tremain, who said that three calves Read more...

ACC tells injured students to “Man up” and “Walk it off”

Posted 4:49pm Sunday 5th August 2012 by Margot Taylor

Academic support for students on ACC is set to change significantly. Spokespeople for the government-run accident compensation scheme have stated that the $6 million budgeted annually for children and young people who require assistance to participate in education could be better targeted to Read more...

Canterbury Uni Staff “Quaking with Fear”

Posted 4:49pm Sunday 5th August 2012 by Callum Fredric

The University of Canterbury is set to cut staff numbers by 150 over the next three years in an attempt to prevent its debt, which is currently at $50 million, from spiralling out of control. Canterbury is in dire financial straits as the true financial toll of the earthquake becomes Read more...

Joyce and Hayne Get Together on Postgrads

Posted 4:49pm Sunday 5th August 2012 by Staff Reporter

Critic has finally made sense of the changes to postgraduate access to the student allowance scheme, which will prevent all postgraduate students from receiving the allowance. Following a meeting between University of Otago Vice-Chancellor Professor Harlene Hayne and Tertiary Education Minister Read more...

Mayor Tells Oil and Gas Industry to Frack Off

Posted 4:49pm Sunday 5th August 2012 by Josie Adams

On July 24, the DCC voted 7-6 to join the call for a moratorium on fracking, making it the fifth local authority to do so. Following the decision, the ODT reported a “fracture” in the relationship between Mayor Dave Cull and his Council and Dunedin-based National MP Michael Woodhouse, which on Read more...

Maverick Professor Threatens to Assemble Eco-Army

Posted 4:49pm Sunday 5th August 2012 by Claudia Herron

Government-owned farming corporation Landcorp and the Department of Conservation are at loggerheads over the potential threat of wilding (it’s a real word, look it up) Douglas-fir trees spreading onto conservation land. Landcorp planted 189ha of Douglas-fir trees on Waipori Station near Read more...

New Drugs Regime Dunne

Posted 4:49pm Sunday 5th August 2012 by Zane Pocock

Associate Health Minister Peter Dunne is crafting a new legal high law which will be introduced to Parliament later this year and is expected to be in force by the middle of next year. Once passed, the new law will immediately criminalise all psychoactive substances, including synthetic cannabinoids Read more...

What is a Sport (Part 2)

Posted 2:15pm Sunday 29th July 2012 by Gus Gawn

So here goes. First, I would like to say that this is a completely thankless task. This debate will never be decided, and no amount of emotive vitriol or ascerbic wit will bring us any closer. They only thing we can hope for is to be dragged entertainingly off-topic by some interesting thoughts and Read more...

What is a Sport (Part 1)

Posted 2:15pm Sunday 29th July 2012 by Callum Fredric

Rowing is not a sport. Neither is cycling. In fact, most of the events at the 2012 Olympics are not sports. And most of the ones that are sports don’t belong at the Olympics. Sometimes the dictionary definition of a word just doesn’t cut it. According to the ivory-tower intellectuals who Read more...

Medieval Trenchcoat Knight Terrorises Waikato

Posted 2:15pm Sunday 29th July 2012 by Zane Pocock

Students at the University of Waikato were falsely alarmed on Wednesday July 25 when a man wearing a trenchcoat was reported to be carrying a weapon on campus. At 10:29am, an email was sent to all staff and students following the sighting of a “tall, Caucasian male, in his twenties... with Read more...

OUSA Revolving Door Keeps On Turning

Posted 2:15pm Sunday 29th July 2012 by Bella Macdonald

Maria Pozza has been elected as OUSA’s Postgraduate Representative after a fierce campaign against bitter rival No Confidence. In the final count, Pozza won with 70 votes, compared with four votes for No Confidence. Poor showing, old buddy. Pozza believed that her PhD would make her a Read more...

Lavender Armageddon Begins

Posted 2:15pm Sunday 29th July 2012 by Callum Fredric

God is reportedly “gutted” after a bill aiming to legalise gay marriage was pulled from the Members’ ballot on Thursday. The Marriage (Definition of Marriage) Amendment Bill was submitted into the ballot by Labour MP Louisa Wall. The first reading of the bill is expected to be held in around six Read more...

Margaret Mahy - She Dead

Posted 2:15pm Sunday 29th July 2012 by Callum Fredric

Margaret Mahy, the author who gave New Zealand the gift of such brilliant children’s books as The Lion in the Meadow and The Man Whose Mother Was a Pirate, died at the age of 76 in a Christchurch hospice last Monday night after losing her battle with cancer. Mahy arguably found her point of Read more...

Rumours not enough to kill captain cook

Posted 2:15pm Sunday 29th July 2012 by Josie Adams

With the University’s new Alcohol Implementation Group (AIG) aiming to rid the streets of shameful Scarfie inebriation, it was only a matter of time before rumours began to abound regarding their nefarious plotting. Professor Jennie Connor, chairwoman of the AIG, has publicly stated that the board Read more...

Panel Debates Age Restrictions for Fermented Grain

Posted 2:15pm Sunday 29th July 2012 by Claudia Herron

The controversial topic of a split legal drinking age came before a caffeine-fuelled Otago University Debating Society and a panel of guest judges in the Great Alcohol Debate last Wednesday. The negating team, who were arguing that the drinking age should remain 18, secured the win as well as Read more...

South Dunedin Blamed for all Problems

Posted 2:15pm Sunday 29th July 2012 by Zane Pocock

Alternatives to the proposed liquor ban are being sought following a meeting between OUSA, Dunedin City Council representatives, and the Youth Action Committee on Tuesday July 24. The Council’s Liquor Ban Implementation Group delayed its decision on the liquor ban last month to consider Read more...

Student Health Sickened By Influenza Outbreak

Posted 2:15pm Sunday 29th July 2012 by Margot Taylor

An increasing number of people have been affected by the spread of the influenza strain known as H3N2. While the name of the virus sounds similar to that of Star Wars’ R2D2, those afflicted will feel as though they’ve crash-landed on the Ice Planet Hoth. Christchurch has been hit hardest by the Read more...

University Staff Member Receives C+ in FRAUD101

Posted 2:15pm Sunday 29th July 2012 by Callum Fredric

A University of Otago staff member was escorted from the University campus by security guards last week, as police began investigating an alleged major fraud that was uncovered by an internal University audit in June. National Radio has reported that between $200,000 and $300,000 was Read more...

Sexuality in sports

Posted 10:46am Sunday 22nd July 2012 by Gus Gawn

I have to admit that I was a little nervous writing this article. Not because of what people will think, but because I am certain that I am bound to offend someone in some way. I am mindful that there might be a bit of a “poking your uneducated nose into something that doesn't really concern you” Read more...

Caden Shields

Posted 10:46am Sunday 22nd July 2012 by Gus Gawn

Caden Shields might not be at the Olympic level just yet but it seems he's on the fast track. The Dunedin-raised physiotherapy student has recently returned from a scholarship at Purdue University in Indiana, where he competed for the “Boilermakers” in long-distance running events and found his Read more...

AUSA Attempts to Abort Student Group

Posted 10:46am Sunday 22nd July 2012 by Zane Pocock

A motion that “the Pro-Life Club be disaffiliated for propagating harmful misinformation” has been voted against 227-125 by members of the Auckland University Student Association (AUSA) at a Special General Meeting on Wednesday July 18. Following an anonymous complaint made to AUSA, the Read more...

At Last! OUSA Is Incomplete Again!

Posted 10:46am Sunday 22nd July 2012 by Zane Pocock

OUSA is holding yet another by-election, for the position of Post-Graduate Officer, following the departure of Victoria Koszowski. Critic speculates that Victoria valiantly resigned after hearing murmurs that students were disappointed they hadn't had enough opportunities to vote this year. Read more...

A Visit From the Chunder Bunny

Posted 10:46am Sunday 22nd July 2012 by Bella Macdonald

Paint was not the only thing being splattered around on Tuesday July 10, as a 20-year-old female student was found unconscious and covered in her own vomit after attending the Illuminate Paint Party at the Edgar Centre. The near-hypothermic girl was found by Police at around 1.30am on the Read more...

Maori Council Thirsty

Posted 10:46am Sunday 22nd July 2012 by Dan Benson-Guiu

Prime Minister John Key’s statement that the government might “ignore” what the Waitangi Tribunal has to say about water rights and asset sales has caused tensions in Parliament and the Maori community. The Waitangi Tribunal is currently hearing an urgent case by the Maori Council, which is Read more...

University Unveils Union Usurper, Uganda Utterly Unaffected

Posted 10:46am Sunday 22nd July 2012 by Margot Taylor

The redevelopment of the Union building, which cost $5.7 million and began in December 2011, is finally complete. The downstairs area of the Union has been revamped and given a colourful and relaxing feel, but the most significant change is the construction of a completely new upstairs mezzanine. Read more...

Lecturers follow Sheens’ example, take up winning

Posted 10:46am Sunday 22nd July 2012 by Josie Adams

University of Otago lecturers Doctor Rhiannon Braund, Associate Professor Steve Dawson, and Associate Professor Anthony Robins have won the three annual University Teaching Awards awarded by Otago. These awards recognise an “outstanding ability to teach”, and are generally awarded to those willing Read more...

Deluded, Talentless Losers Have Dreams Crushed

Posted 10:46am Sunday 22nd July 2012 by Callum Fredric

North Dunedin’s talent, and South Dunedin’s lack thereof, were on show at the Regent Theatre as the Dunedin leg of the second round of New Zealand’s Got Talent auditions was held on the 14 and 15 July. Dunedin’s preliminary round of auditions was held on 2 and 3 May at Otago Boys’ High Read more...

Castle Street Residents Fail at Keg Party, Life in General

Posted 10:46am Sunday 22nd July 2012 by Margot Taylor

Despite the frenzied anti-alcohol sentiment swirling around political circles, the annual Castle Street Keg Party contradicted the assumption that all students are alcohol-guzzling machines. Although more than 2,300 people indicated on Facebook that they would be attending the event, which was held Read more...

Students Celebrate Christchurch Heritage by Recreating Earthquake

Posted 10:46am Sunday 22nd July 2012 by Zane Pocock

Investigations are underway into the collapse of the floor of the University of Canterbury’s new $2.5 million temporary events centre, which opened in April after the University's student bar was damaged by the February 2011 earthquake. The incident occurred after some intense moshing early Read more...

Local Motel Owner Talks Trash

Posted 10:46am Sunday 22nd July 2012 by Claudia Herron

Accusations were thrown around last week that University of Otago students are “living like pigs” and turning Dunedin into a “third world” city, following a problem with drunken students repeatedly knocking over rubbish bins put out for early collection. Alhambra Oaks Motor Lodge owner-operator Alan Read more...

A review of the Highlanders’ Season

Posted 5:14pm Sunday 15th July 2012 by Gus Gawn

Best player: Aaron SmithWent from being underrated backup to best halfback in the country in the space of about six weeks. A rapid pass, good decision making, and an improving running game. Critic’s favourite Highlander is now everyone’s favourite Highlander. Best Win: Highlanders 27-24 Read more...

London – a sensible but boring Olympics?

Posted 5:14pm Sunday 15th July 2012 by Gus Gawn

Unfortunately, for most cities that win the right to host the Summer Olympic Games the blessing quickly becomes a curse. Enormous sporting organisations such as the IOC, FIFA, and the IRD operate by farming out the risk to the host countries while keeping all the goodies for themselves. The host Read more...

Carnies Trick OUSA With Gypsy Magic

Posted 5:14pm Sunday 15th July 2012 by Callum Fredric

Sudents eager to risk their lives on the dilapidated ferris wheel that traditionally graces Re-Orientation’s carnival day on campus had to put down their ACC forms on Thursday, as the carnival and associated carnies never showed up. According to rumours heard by Critic, OUSA has been well and Read more...

The Exec Reports

Posted 5:14pm Sunday 15th July 2012 by Staff Reporter

Every quarter your student execies have to hand in a report saying what they’ve been doing for the last three months. If they don’t, or if the exec decides they’ve done a shite job, then they don’t get paid their measly honorariums. Critic had to read each and every report then sit through an Read more...

We should just accept it, we’re all pissheads

Posted 5:14pm Sunday 15th July 2012 by Dan Benson-Guiu

The University of Otago has set up a new group that could see the University, famous for good scholarship over a couple of beers, change its policy towards alcohol. The AIG aims to change the drinking culture in Dunedin by focussing on drinking in flats, student halls, and first year initiation Read more...

Howie’s Excellent Adventure

Posted 5:14pm Sunday 15th July 2012 by Claudia Herron

A case of mistaken identity sent Critic’s resident cat Howie Staples on a trip down memory lane after a concerned member of the public mistook the cat for a stray and deposited him at the SPCA. A “crazy mofo” spotted Howie on Monday July 12 during a regular jaunt to the Otago Museum, and Read more...

Critic Designers Succeed In Land of The Free

Posted 5:14pm Sunday 15th July 2012 by Callum Fredric

Critic’s superiority over other student magazines has received further confirmation after three Critic employees were commissioned to design the cover for a recent issue of Newsweek, a US magazine with a readership of 13.2 million. The design is based on the cover of Critic’s 14th issue, Read more...

$24 for a dozen, $16 for a bottle of wine, world will indeed end in 2012.

Posted 5:14pm Sunday 15th July 2012 by Zane Pocock

The Alcohol Reform Bill continues its progress through Parliament, but although parties agree on the importance of the bill, debate persists regarding the exact details of the proposed changes currently before the Justice and Electoral Committee. The hot topics of the day are a proposed minimum Read more...

Re-O Puts Rio to Shame

Posted 5:14pm Sunday 15th July 2012 by Josie Adams

Re-Orientation kicked off on Wednesday and ended on Saturday, with a stellar line-up running throughout the week. Ladyhawke, Kora, and the comedy night with Paul Ego and Chopper Reed were predicted to be the big hits, while OUSA’s Clubs Day, Market Day and International Food Festival provided Read more...

Woo Sports!

Posted 5:13pm Sunday 8th July 2012 by Gus Gawn

For Critic Issue 15 of 2012 I have compiled ten reasons I'm excited about sports in second semester. Semester One was okay I guess, but Semester Two is offering up an absolute smorgasbord of sexy sporting action to watch both locally and on the telly. So, in no particular order, here are some things Read more...

What does Sonny Bill Williams want?

Posted 5:13pm Sunday 8th July 2012 by Gus Gawn

Straight after winning a World Cup and killing it for the Chiefs this year Sonny Bill Williams might be quitting New Zealand rugby, at least for now. He’s been pretty damn good at everything he's tried, but what does Sonny Bill want to look back on when he retires from sport? What does Sonny Bill Read more...

Critic’s Requisite Students-Are-Not-All-Drunken-IdIots Story

Posted 5:13pm Sunday 8th July 2012 by Ivy Ruto

In a blatant attempt to flesh out their CVs, two Otago students have set up a free tutoring service for students in mid-to low-decile Dunedin high schools. Under the arrangement Otago students tutor for one hour per week in NCEA subjects they studied at high school or university. Organisers Read more...

Mosgiel: It’s a Gas

Posted 5:13pm Sunday 8th July 2012 by Margot Taylor

In a tragic example of the limited entertainment activities on offer for Mosgiel teenagers, two young Mosgelians (as Critic likes to call them) are in induced comas after the gas bottle they were huffing from was ignited by a heater last Monday. The two teens, aged 17 and 18, received Read more...

Oi, Syria, Fucking Stop It!

Posted 5:13pm Sunday 8th July 2012 by Staff Reporter

The 47th Otago Foreign Policy School took place over the uni holidays, with the ongoing conflict in Syria at the forefront of the conference’s discussions. The three-day conference at St Margaret’s is an opportunity for New Zealand and international experts to meet with government officials and Read more...

Elderly Forget Children’s Names, Remember to Hate Edgar

Posted 5:13pm Sunday 8th July 2012 by Charlotte Greenfield

The debate over whether students actually care about asset sales has continued, with NZUSA halfheartedly withdrawing its support from the Keep Our Assets Campaign, OUSA maintaining its neutrality, and Grey Power accusing OUSA of failing to properly communicate with its members. In May the Read more...

Harlene’s Birthday Boy

Posted 5:13pm Sunday 8th July 2012 by Charlotte Greenfield

OUSA President Logan Edgar received a birthday visit at his flat from University Vice-Chancellor Harlene Hayne, sparking concern (really just from Critic) over whether OUSA and the University are getting a little too close. Edgar explained to Critic that the visit was prompted after Edgar was Read more...

It’s Another International Officer! Again!

Posted 5:13pm Sunday 8th July 2012 by Staff Reporter

You might remember flexing your democratic muscles at the end of last semester. The results are in, with all questions put forward by OUSA in its annual referendum being passed with healthy majorities and a newly minted International Officer joining the OUSA executive. Third year Pharmacy Read more...

Prospective Students Take Places in Rest of World

Posted 5:13pm Sunday 8th July 2012 by Maria Mutahi

The University has experienced a dip in student numbers, leading to “caution” in its current financial outlook. Full-time enrolments have dropped from 19, 661 in 2010 to a forecasted 19, 370 this year. The University’s director of planning and funding, David Thomson, said the drop is in Read more...

Freshers Fundamentally Misunderstand Law of Supply and Demand

Posted 5:13pm Sunday 8th July 2012 by Charlotte Greenfield

Critic has received reports of first years already signing up for flats, marking the start of the great annual student flat hunt. Further investigation revealed that this year’s spectacle pales in comparison to previous years. “Now’s not ‘early’,” a member of staff from the University of Read more...

Uni Blasts Criticism

Posted 5:13pm Sunday 8th July 2012 by Gerard Barbalich

The University of Otago has been called out for “killing Castle Street”, and has responded with a water-blaster. A presumably scarfie protester painted the message “You can kill Castle Street, but you can’t kill culture” on the walls of Leith below the Clocktower building during the exam Read more...

Small, locally-owned business becomes Big Corporation

Posted 8:39pm Sunday 3rd June 2012 by Callum Fredric

James “Jim” Peterson, the owner of Jim’s Miniature New Zealand Flag Emporium on Hanover Street, has been slammed as a “sellout” after hiring a 20th employee last week, officially pushing his company over the line from “small, locally-owned business” to “Big Corporation”. Protestors have Read more...

If Shane Jones Doesn’t Resign

Posted 8:39pm Sunday 3rd June 2012 by Callum Fredric

Labour MP Shane Jones, who has been dogged recently by allegations that he gave citizenship to an international criminal in exchange for donations to the Labour Party, has entered a bill into the members’ ballot that would, if successful, provide free kittens to all. Mr Jones, who attracted Read more...

Smashed Him Bro!

Posted 8:39pm Sunday 3rd June 2012 by Gus Gawn

This week we are going to talk about head injuries in sports. TVNZ's Sunday programme recently broadcast a shocking exposé on the reality of brain injuries caused by contact sports. Research in the US has shown that the repeated traumatic brain injuries often seen in contact sports can cause Read more...

Bouncer screwed, surprisingly unhappy

Posted 8:39pm Sunday 3rd June 2012 by Imogen Whyte

An intoxicated teenager stabbed a Monkey Bar bouncer in the neck with a screwdriver on Friday 25 May after being refused entry to the nightclub. A 19-year old labourer was arrested and appeared in the Dunedin District Court the following morning, charged with intent to cause grievous bodily Read more...

Children beaten by band of youths

Posted 8:39pm Sunday 3rd June 2012 by Margot Taylor

A crowd of 200 converged for the final of the Converse Battle of the Bands was held at Re:Fuel on Saturday May 26. 40 bands compete in four heats in the OUSA-organised event. A Distant City emerged the winners, with Astro Children named runners-up and Abstract Survival placing third. A Read more...

Red Bull flies student to Austrian brainwashing bender

Posted 8:39pm Sunday 3rd June 2012 by Alice McRae

University of Otago student Josh Stewart placed 23rd at the Red Bull Paper Wings World Finals in Salzburg on 4 – 5 May. The second-year Knox resident gained a place in the international round after beating 496 New Zealand competitors with a 43.6 metre throw at the Alahambra Rugby Club in March. Read more...

“Cheeky darkies” better represented*

Posted 8:39pm Sunday 3rd June 2012 by Staff Reporter

The University of Otago has appointed Tuari Potiki as its new Director of Māori Development. This will put Mr Potiki in charge of Māori development activities at the University, as well as maintaining the University’s relationship with local iwi. Mr Potiki has previously held a Read more...

English implores students: go Greek!

Posted 8:39pm Sunday 3rd June 2012 by Charlotte Greenfield

Students’ associations have lent their support to the criticism over changes to the student loan and allowance systems announced in the National Budget on Thursday 24 May. Following the blockade of central Auckland streets by angry students, Finance Minister Bill English taunted the students Read more...

Scarfies drink for Africa

Posted 8:39pm Sunday 3rd June 2012 by Josie Adams

The 40-Hour Famine was held on the weekend of 25 to 27 May, with participants around the country giving up something of value for 40 sponsored hours in order to raise money for World Vision. A number of Otago students displayed an especially entrepreneurial attitude to the cause. 20 year-old Read more...

$1.4 Billion, Still No Hydroslide

Posted 8:39pm Sunday 3rd June 2012 by Staff Reporter

A hard-hitting article by the ODT’s Vaughan Elder has revealed that the University of Otago is the most asset-rich of New Zealand’s many illustrious tertiary institutions. With $1.4 billion in total assets, Otago left the University of Auckland to sob all the way to the bank with its miserable asset Read more...

Referendum Results Retardedly Reach Reporters Retrospectively

Posted 8:39pm Sunday 3rd June 2012 by Callum Fredric

By the time you read this OUSA will have announced the fate of the eight motions in its referendum, as well as the results from the International Officer by-election. Due to insensitive scheduling on the part of OUSA, the results were not yet available when Critic went to print on Thursday Read more...

Edgar exposes assets failure

Posted 8:39pm Sunday 3rd June 2012 by Bella Macdonald

The Otago University Student’s Association (OUSA) has been criticised for its failure to support the Keep Our Assets campaign, after a media faux-pas from Logan Edgar taught the OUSA President that the majority of journalists outside of Critic do not appreciate his sense of humour. In early Read more...

The Eagle’s Alternative Budget

Posted 7:40pm Sunday 27th May 2012 by Eagle of Liberty

Liberty-lovers rejoice, the Eagle’s back! Socialists, drop your copies of Das Kapital and The Spirit Level and run to the only place you can hide – the state houses of Corstophine, where the aura of welfare dependency and mediocrity saps the Eagle of his powers. Yes, the Eagle’s back with a Read more...

Top 5 - sportspeople who changed their sport

Posted 7:40pm Sunday 27th May 2012 by Gus Gawn

When Anna Harrison of the Northern Mystics performed the “chair lift” or “lady lineout” to reject the Melbourne Vixens shooters, she changed the game. This manoeuvre had never been performed in competitive netball before, and people didn’t know what to think. The obvious road for netball to take Read more...

Critic’s favourite Highlander is now Critic’s favourite All Black (trialist)

Posted 7:40pm Sunday 27th May 2012 by Gus Gawn

Critic’s favourite Highlander Aaron Smith has hit the big time. Just as we predicted, Smith’s form has been too good to ignore, and he has been selected for the All Blacks training squad from which the team to play Ireland will be fingered. While Aaron is not getting too excited just yet, here at Read more...

Critic pretends to give a shit about postgrads

Posted 7:40pm Sunday 27th May 2012 by Josie Adams

The University of Otago will host the inaugural Postgraduate Research Conference on Power and Politics (PRCPP) on 2 – 3 July. The Conference, sponsored by the New Zealand Political Studies Association, will give postgraduate students the chance to present material from their disciplines for Read more...

Fishing in Dunedin no longer confined to Monkey Bar

Posted 7:40pm Sunday 27th May 2012 by Alice McRae

The Leith River is now home to 4000 juvenile salmon, after the New Zealand Salmon Anglers Association released the fish last week to support the “put and take” system of recreational fishing in Dunedin. Salmon have been released into the Leith annually since 1984, and as a result Dunedin is Read more...

University studies coronial impotence

Posted 7:40pm Sunday 27th May 2012 by Claudia Herron

A major research study by University of Otago researchers will review whether recommendations and findings from coroners are currently being heeded to prevent further loss of life. University of Otago Faculty of Law researchers Professor Mark Henaghan and Dr Jennifer Moore will collect and Read more...

Breaking the cycle of broken cyclists

Posted 7:40pm Sunday 27th May 2012 by Margot Taylor

In a move that could save the ratepayer up to $4.7 million over the next decade, the Dunedin City Council (DCC) decided last week to reallocate its road-sealing budget towards improving Dunedin’s cycleways. While a pre-draft budget created in January had initially reinstated part of the seal Read more...

Missing University of Otago employee found dead

Posted 7:40pm Sunday 27th May 2012 by Claudia Herron

The body of missing Health Science Library Team Leader David Palmer has been found after a two-week Search and Rescue operation in the Ahuriri Conservation Park. Mr Palmer’s body was located in a creek bed at the bottom of a 60m-high steep bank in the Canyon Creek area on Saturday 19 May. He Read more...

Otago Students Named Most Alternative: Wellington students weep

Posted 7:40pm Sunday 27th May 2012 by Charlotte Greenfield

A team of University of Otago Students has won the 2012 Alternative Budget Competition. The competition, sponsored by the Independent Policy Institute, required students to develop their own national budget in the lead-up to the Government’s announcement of the 2012/2013 budget last Read more...

Edgar Woos Ladyhawke to Re-O

Posted 7:40pm Sunday 27th May 2012 by Bella Macdonald

OUSA has announced the line-up for Re-Orientation 2012, which is to be held in the first week of Semester Two on 11 – 14 July. OUSA President Logan Edgar is “pretty fucking excited” about the line-up, which will include Ladyhawke, Kora, Chopper Read and Paul Ego. Re-Orientation will coincide Read more...

Alty student attempts to import Class B

Posted 7:40pm Sunday 27th May 2012 by Staff Reporter

In a brazen attempt to become the coolest kid on his hall floor, an Otago student has attempted to buy ecstasy over the Internet. The 18-year-old appeared in Dunedin District Court last Tuesday, and admitted procuring the Class B drug. His lawyer has asked for an adjournment to allow for an Read more...

Zero budget provides zero funny headlines

Posted 7:40pm Sunday 27th May 2012 by Charlotte Greenfield

The National Government announced the 2012-2013 Budget Thursday 24 May amidst student protest against the changes to the student loan and allowance system. While Bill English’s ‘zero’ Budget was generally described as political commentators as “forgettable”, “dull” and “boring”, Auckland Read more...

New Legislation Aims to Deter Unnecessary Legislation

Posted 7:58pm Sunday 20th May 2012 by Callum Fredric

New research by the University of Otago’s Wellington branch has put a dollar value on the rampant time-wasting, political point-scoring, and other such shenanigans involved with law-making in New Zealand. According to the study, each new Act of Parliament costs an average of $3.5 million, while a Read more...

Pucking Great

Posted 7:58pm Sunday 20th May 2012 by Gus Gawn

This week we go back to talking about students doing well at sports you don’t know much about … Ice Hockey. If New Zealand were a few degrees colder ice hockey would be our national sport. Just like rugby it is rough, tough, fast and exciting. Unlike rugby, nobody gets paid. In fact even the Read more...

Four Thoughts on City Winning the Title

Posted 7:58pm Sunday 20th May 2012 by Gus Gawn

You can still buy the titleJack Walker did it for Blackburn Rovers in 1995. Roman Abramovich did it for Chelsea in 2004 and 2005. Now Sheik Mansour has done it for Manchester City. The easiest way to turn a mediocre team into Premier League Champions is to spend shitloads of money on new players. Read more...

Foreigners rejoice! Democracy for all!

Posted 7:58pm Sunday 20th May 2012 by Yee Min Chua

It’s by-election time yet again! Oh yes people, yet another chance to demonstrate your zeal for practicing democracy, if you’re an international student anyway. OUSA needs a new International Student Officer, and voting is open (to international students) from 9am May 28 until 4pm June 1. It Read more...

“Find your own jobs, you lazy bums” – SJS

Posted 7:58pm Sunday 20th May 2012 by Margot Taylor

Figures released by Student Job Search (SJS) this month reveal that while students who have jobs are working more hours and earning more money, it is more difficult for those students looking for jobs to gain employment through the student job matching service. The number of Dunedin students Read more...