The Exec Reports

The Exec Reports

Critic Pretends to care

Every quarter your student execies have to hand in a report saying what they’ve been doing for the last three months. If they don’t, or if the exec decides they’ve done a shite job, then they don’t get paid their measly honorariums. Critic had to read each and every report then sit through an excruciatingly long exec meeting where they all patted each other on the back for a job well done, so that we could report back to you on exactly what your exec have been up to. We also decided that giving out star ratings was a bit passé, so we’ve given out hugs instead, up to a maximum of five. Exec members can claim their hugs from either Critic editor Joe Stockman, or Critic cat-in-chief Howie Staples. It’s your choice, guys.

Logan Edgar
OUSA President (in late)

Edgar completely changed the presidential paradigm when he took over as OUSA President half way through last year. The larrikin Scarfie was in charge of the big show. With no OUSA experience it was a steep learning curve for the young fella, and he sure put his foot in a few dinosaur cunts along the way. Nowadays, he’s totes professional. He sits on numerous boards, bangs out interviews for the nation’s media with alarming regularity. I don’t anyone could really aruge he’s not doing a good job (even if you disagree with his politics.

But Logan, no hugs for you mate. Not only was this report handed in late, but every exec report you’ve ever submitted has been late. Talk about leading from the front.
Zero Hugs

Jono Rowe
Admin Vice President

Oh Jono! You and your baby face and cute blue eyes. In another life, at another time, you and Critic could have got down, Jono. Anyway… Jono, the poor bastard, has been re-reading the minutes from every single exec meeting from the last two years in an effort to review OUSA’s policies and suggest where changes might be needed in the future. If anyone ever needed a hug it’s this poor guy. Plus he’s cute.
Five Hugs

Angus McDonald
Campaigns Officer

Angus is in charge of organising OUSA’s campaigns. You remember, right? All those campaigns that OUSA has run over the past three months? Okay, so Angus has probably had a slow start to heading up OUSA’s campaigns. He’s sitting on boards and committees that he’s supposed to, doing enough to get by, but he’s not really leading the charge. Critic is sure he can do better. He has, however, taken some important steps in both “Liaison” and “Relationship Management” with Te Roopu, which will no doubt result in better-lubricated experiences for both organisations in the future.
Two Hugs and a high five

Aaspreet Boparai
Education Officer

Aaspreet provides some much need racial diversity to the exec (okay, Fran is Filipino). Aaspreet holds the education portfolio, and the tertiary education sector sure has been going through some turbulent times with the National Government cutting all sorts of funding and allowances. There were murmurs around the exec table that Aaspreet hasn’t been taking enough initiative in his portfolio, but Critic suspects that Logan’s management (as opposed to leadership) approach to the exec may have sucked some of the initiative out of exec members. It was also suggested that Aaspreet could be available around the office a bit more. He took the criticisms on the chin, was in the office by 9am the next day, and is keen to do better.
Two and a Half Hugs

Francisco Hernandez
Welfare Officer

Fran is an ideas man. Not all of them are good, and many of them are controversial, but all of them are interesting. Fran’s problem is following through – it’s been years since he first brought up the idea of a “Flatbook” that people could check to suss out the quality of Dunedin’s flats. Fran’s $3 dinners, $1 breakfasts, and free shop are all ideas that have hit the exec table but are yet to hit the ground. Fran is a likely candidate for President at the end of the year. A few actual programmes brought into existence might increase his chances.
Three Hugs

Lisa Pohatu
Tumuaki, Te Roopu (Maori Students Association President)

Lisa is both a member of the OUSA executive and the Tumuaki (President) of the Maori Students Association. When first elected, Lisa had to deal with the threat of Voluntary Student Membership and the associated possible funding cuts. As with Logan, a lot of Lisa’s time is taken up with leading Te Roopu generally. However, props to Lisa for sticking her hand up to sit on more committees and attend more meetings despite the grimace of pain that passes across her face as she agrees.
Four Hugs

Ryan Edgar
Finance Officer

Believe it or not, Ryan Edgar is the clown of the Exec, a real achievement considering he sits alongside his older (and shorter) brother. Ryan’s report reads like a bit of a checklist: “Here’s what my job description says I should do, and boy did I ever do it.” But he is that guy who’s always around to help, always asking what needs doing. And he took one for the team when Critic desperately needed someone at the last second for the blind date.
Four Hugs

Juana Diesing
Colleges Officer

Juana is German. We’re not judging her for that, being German is fine, but you have to keep it in the back of your head when you’re talking to her, don’t you: “This person is German, be on guard.” Anyway, Juana is the Colleges Rep, so even though she is a Masters student she spends most of her time skuxing onto freshers and, you know, representing them and shit. She’s been mostly working outside of the office, getting into the darkest corners of the colleges and halls and teaching freshers about budgeting and flatting and stuff. Pretty good work all in all.
Three Hugs and a long meaningful stare into the eyes

Yee Min Chua
International Officer

Shit girl! Min has hit the ground running (but not literally, she only has one leg (not literally, she just hurt one of them)). Before she even joined the executive she was president of the International Cultural Council, so she’s pretty down with the international goings on. Min is clearly full of potential, but Critic has no doubt that the endless meetings and paperwork of OUSA life will break her eventually.
Min doesn’t get any hugs for her performance, as she’s only just started her work. But she hurt her leg, so she gets one sympathy hug.

Blake Luff
Recreation Officer

Luffy, as he’s known around the traps at OUSA, has been a busy boy. Clubs and Socs, which is the largest area in his portfolio, has been spending cash money on pimping itself up a bit, and Luffy’s been leading the charge. He sits on a ton of different committees too, and is generally a GC. Luffy might be Critic’s favourite, especially when he broodingly sits in the office and plays his guitar. Oh, and he bought a new van. Top work.
Four Hugs and a wristy.

This article first appeared in Issue 16, 2012.
Posted 5:14pm Sunday 15th July 2012 by Staff Reporter.