Archive
Editorial: I am once again asking for a student bar
Posted 6:53pm Sunday 26th February 2023 by Fox Meyer
This debate has been raging for a while, but let me get you up to speed. Dunedin lost its last student bar two years ago (RIP Starters). Previous bars had closed because they weren’t profitable or because they were bought out - sometimes by the Uni, sometimes not. Split hairs over that all you Read more...
Chargrills | Prawn rice noodle salad
Posted 6:35pm Sunday 26th February 2023 by Charly Burnett @chargrillss
This salad is out the gate and super shrimple. Mean option for a hot Dunners day and isn't heavy on the tummy. Crack in! INGREDIENTS: 300g prawns ($8.80 at Pakkies) Dried basil Mixed herbs Oil A packet of rice noodles A telegraph cuc 2 XL carrots One capsicum An Read more...
Booze Review | BRB Haze of our Lives
Posted 6:16pm Sunday 26th February 2023 by Albert Einsteinlager
The rumble of student shitboxes returning to Otago; freshers and breathers sinking piss hand over fist; littered streets strewn with eggshells. Nature is healing. These scenes are nothing uncommon for the students of North D, as they gear up for their Flo and O Weeks. Fourteen days of Read more...
Moaningful Confessions | Tap and Gap ASAP
Posted 5:38pm Sunday 26th February 2023 by Critic
It was the Saturday of Re-O and, after a week of pouring rain and a lack of alcohol consumed, I knew tonight was the night I needed to send it. So, obviously the only way to do this was to down as many vodka shots as physically possible. I’m not going to lie, I truly did this to the best of my Read more...
Fresher Simulator: O-Week
Posted 5:26pm Sunday 26th February 2023 by Lotto Ramsay
1. Welcome (Start here) You’re a fresher (our condolences) arriving at Dunedin airport for the first time ever. You marvel at all the butt-fuck-nowhere around you. Off to collect your luggage! Where did you fly in from, again? A: Auckland (Go to 11) B: Somewhere else (Go to Read more...
Moaningful Confessions | Dick munter
Posted 8:18pm Sunday 9th October 2022 by Critic
Dunedin is great, but if the ‘Dunedin Experience’ involves, as he described it “the worst sex story I can think of” I’m not sure the wonderful student experience is worth it. For context, I wasn’t sure we would have sex again after a couple weeks of Read more...
Horoscopes: Week 26
Posted 8:15pm Sunday 9th October 2022 by Critic
Aquarius Jan 20 - Feb 18 Forever young is good in theory, but some of us have to live with you. Take some responsibility for how you behave and watch good things come to you. Also, clean your kitchen. Put on your summer to-do list: Keep a list of every beach you Read more...
Booze Review | Budweiser is Unpatriotic
Posted 8:10pm Sunday 9th October 2022 by Chug Norris
Every country in the world has a national beer. Australia has VB, New Zealand has, for some fucking reason, Tui, and Budweiser is known first and foremost as the national beer of the trainwreck of a country that calls itself the United States. But something seems wrong about Budweiser representing Read more...
Mr. Worldwide
Posted 8:06pm Sunday 9th October 2022 by Mr. Worldwide
This week, we have an image supplied by Ben. We got last issue’s correct, Jeff was in Auckland, specifically Queens wharf, looking at that art place. First thoughts: It feels like this photo was taken in Aotearoa due to the trees but there’s also trains, so. We’ll Read more...
In the Eye of the Beholders | Dunedin Art Reviews
Posted 7:58pm Sunday 9th October 2022 by Esmond Paterson and Maddie Fenn
Callout: This column is supported by DPAG, but they have no influence on the reviews Every week, we send two writers to an art exhibit in Ōtepoti Dunedin. One of them will choose a specific piece, and describe it to the other without them looking. They’ll try to figure out what Read more...
Editorial: It’s initiation season
Posted 6:21pm Sunday 9th October 2022 by Fox Meyer
I’ve been to two universities in the States, both of them had Greek life. Neither was as problematic as Dunedin’s initiation scene. Stop celebrating, that’s not a good thing. One thing that you can celebrate (I guess) is that Kiwis would absolutely destroy American frat Read more...
Moaningful Confessions | Signal Hole
Posted 5:24pm Sunday 2nd October 2022 by Critic
My partner and I were both the first people in our respective flats to get Covid. Because of this, it meant that once we were done with our isolation and our flatmates got Covid, we didn’t have to isolate, so we were able to see each other after their iso had ended. Being able to see them was Read more...
Horoscopes: Week 25
Posted 5:22pm Sunday 2nd October 2022 by Critic
Aquarius Jan 20 - Feb 18 Should you go out tonight? Yes. Yes you should. Go and buy yourself an aviation cocktail and be sexy and mysterious somewhere. The stars say so. Movie you should revisit: Kill Bill Vol. I. Pisces Feb 19 - Mar 20 Don’t settle for being Read more...
Booze Review | Pure Blonde tastes like giving up
Posted 5:17pm Sunday 2nd October 2022 by Chug Norris
Pure Blonde Ultra Low Carb Lager is the type of beer that you drink when you are tired of life. When the joy that you used to receive from simple things like a cold beer has faded into the monotony of the semi-alcoholism of suburban BBQ culture. But there is also something deeper. You buy a Read more...
Skuxx Food | Rice Paper Dumplings
Posted 5:15pm Sunday 2nd October 2022 by Rosie Joyce @skuxxfood
Ideal for when you want something fried but also haven’t eaten a vegetable in a while. Makes 5-6 (1-2 servings) Ingredients: 150 grams (ish) mushrooms, finely diced 3 cloves garlic, minced 1 thumb of ginger, finely grated ⅛ green cabbage, finely Read more...
In the Eye of the Beholders | Dunedin Art Reviews
Posted 5:09pm Sunday 2nd October 2022 by Esmond Paterson and Maddie Fenn
This column is supported by DPAG, but they have no influence on the reviews Every week, we send two writers to an art exhibit in Ōtepoti Dunedin. One of them will choose a specific piece, and describe it to the other without them looking. They’ll try to figure out what the piece Read more...
Local Produce: BO And the Constrictors
Posted 5:05pm Sunday 2nd October 2022 by Jamiema Lorimer
If you’re a breatha and spend your Thursday through Saturday nights at Dunedin Social Club, then you’re probably already familiar with BO And the Constrictors, who describe their sound as “modern vintage pop rock.” Hot off the release of their EP ‘Love’, Critic Read more...
How American Gun Culture Suppressed the Greatest Rock Anthem of our Lifetimes
Posted 2:15pm Sunday 2nd October 2022 by Fox Meyer
But it wasn’t well received in the States. Lots of radio stations refused to play it, because there’s a line that says “her boyfriend’s a dick, he brings a gun to school”. It was released on the one year anniversary of the Columbine massacre, and people did not want to Read more...
Moaningful Confessions | Chemical Warfare
Posted 2:16pm Saturday 24th September 2022 by Critic
Being Dunedin’s premier gay, I started my night by browsing my way through Tinder's flawless feed. Dodging the constant barrage of poor attempts at sexual ice breakers, I came face to face with the most handsome breather one could ever set their eyes on. His beautiful, sharp, chiselled jaw Read more...
Horoscopes: Week 24
Posted 2:15pm Saturday 24th September 2022 by Critic
Aquarius Jan 20 - Feb 18 To all my Aquarius baddies, your love life is set to intensify so get ready! May your life be filled with love, lust and liquor. Check off the to do list: Vote in local elections. Pisces Feb 19 - Mar 20 Sometimes, people can make you Read more...
Booze Review | Country Medium White Wine is a most exquisite vintage
Posted 2:09pm Saturday 24th September 2022 by Chug Norris
Goon has a reputation as a low tier, last-resort type of potation. But while this scurrilous reputation may hold true for pretentious European attempts at goon (see Chasseur), the New Zealand-made Country Medium White Wine is a cardboardeaux that excels and excites in taste, mouthfeel and, most of Read more...
Skuxx Food | Lemonade
Posted 2:07pm Saturday 24th September 2022 by Rosie Joyce @skuxxfood
The ultimate dust buster. Easy enough to make with only one brain cell. If you didn’t already know how to make lemonade, well, now you do. Vodka optional. Ingredients: Juice of 3 lemons ½ cup sugar 3 cups water 10 ice cubes Method: Add all Read more...
Mr. Worldwide
Posted 2:06pm Saturday 24th September 2022 by Mr. Worldwide
This week, we have an image supplied by Jeff. We got last week’s correct, Ellie was at Prospect Point, Vancouver. First thoughts: Looks like this photo was taken next to a populous harbour judging by the cargo ship in the background, possibly New Zealand? Analysing the size, shape Read more...
In the Eye of the Beholders | Dunedin Art Reviews
Posted 1:59pm Saturday 24th September 2022 by Esmond Paterson and Maddie Fenn
This column is supported by DPAG, but they have no influence on the reviews Every week, we send two writers to an art exhibit in Ōtepoti Dunedin. One of them will choose a specific piece, and describe it to the other without them looking. They’ll try to figure out what the piece Read more...
It’s Our Fault
Posted 1:20pm Saturday 24th September 2022 by Fox Meyer
It’s fun writing about the Alpine Fault now because at some point in our lifetime it’s going to be all anyone is talking about. It feels like writing about the Christchurch earthquakes before they actually happened, or writing about how easy it would be to block the Suez Canal before the Read more...
Moaningful Confessions | Too spicy
Posted 9:17pm Sunday 18th September 2022 by Critic
So, we met on Tinder, as it goes. She was something pretty special, so after a few dates I decided to show off my skills in the kitchen with a candlelit dinner. I wanted to blow her (away) so I made the most creamy and decadent mushroom risotto a girl could ask for. I even got oyster mushrooms and Read more...
Horoscopes: Week 23
Posted 9:11pm Sunday 18th September 2022 by Critic
Aquarius Jan 20 - Feb 18 Aquarius, you should be proud of the progress you have made this year. Your journey of inner peace and comfort has been a great success, and you should give yourself a pat on the back for this. Crime to investigate: Which flatmate stole your Read more...
The RTDs are coming for you and your loved ones
Posted 8:54pm Sunday 18th September 2022 by Chug Norris
Absolut Lime and Soda beats the record for the most generic RTD ever produced, but it is not alone. RTDs are multiplying at an alarming rate. Wine and beer now cower in the corners of liquor store fridges as piles of multi-coloured boxes with generic names like Grins, Larry, Dave, and Brins spread Read more...
Mr. Worldwide
Posted 8:47pm Sunday 18th September 2022 by Mr. Worldwide
This week, we have a photo sent to us by Ellie. We got last week’s correct, Fox was indeed in Bryant Park on the 4th of December, 2019, hitting P.K. Subban in the nuts with a hockey puck. Shot, Fox. First thoughts: I see people, ships, a trail… Looks like Seattle or Read more...
In the Eye of the Beholders | Dunedin Art Reviews
Posted 8:42pm Sunday 18th September 2022 by Esmond Paterson and Maddie Fenn
This column is supported by DPAG, but they have no influence on the reviews Every week, we send two writers to an art exhibit in Ōtepoti Dunedin. One of them will choose a specific piece, and describe it to the other without them looking. They’ll try to figure out what the piece Read more...
Oh no please don’t stage a coup haha
Posted 7:20pm Sunday 18th September 2022 by Fox Meyer
Student politics are woefully exploitable. This week, there were meant to be six pages of profiles for the upcoming OUSA election, but they were cancelled literally the day before print because nobody had signed up to run for the positions. Yikes. That meant we had to fill six pages of content, Read more...
Moaningful Confessions | Tree hugger, butt fugger
Posted 7:14pm Sunday 11th September 2022 by Critic
To preface, none of this was actually *meant* to happen, but here goes. So, this friend of a friend added me on Snapchat. Nothing major. I thought it was just a friendly thing – he ended up asking me to hook him up with some herbs, and we talked about that for a bit. Fast forward to Read more...
Horoscopes: Week 22
Posted 7:11pm Sunday 11th September 2022 by Critic
Aquarius Jan 20 - Feb 18 You need to understand boundaries and really assess your importance in some people's lives. You tend to overstep and while you may mean well, it can come off as inappropriate to others. Goal for the week: hitting all your steps. Pisces Feb Read more...
Booze Review | Cody’s Bourbon and Cola is Criminally underrated.
Posted 7:01pm Sunday 11th September 2022 by Chug Norris
Cody’s has many negative associations, several of which are fair. As previous booze reviews have mentioned, it is the drink of choice of 12 year-olds at skate parks throughout the country. For many, the drink is reminiscent of alcohol-fueled injuries and social decay. But these prejudiced Read more...
Skuxx Food | Tandoori Chicken Flatbreads
Posted 6:57pm Sunday 11th September 2022 by Rosie Joyce @skuxxfood
If you miss the naanwich truck on campus, here’s something to fill that void. Serves 5 (2 each) Ingredients: 10 flatbreads/naan/wraps A few handfuls of baby spinach A bunch of coriander to garnish, optional Pickled onion: 1 red onion, thinly Read more...
Mr. Worldwide
Posted 6:54pm Sunday 11th September 2022 by Mr. Worldwide
This week, we have an image supplied by Fox. We got last week’s correct, Trish was in Lusthusportens park, Stockholm. First thoughts: Clearly a populous city, maybe some sort of event taking place around Christmas. Looks quite American. It’s clearly Christmas, and Read more...
In the Eye of the Beholders | Dunedin Art Reviews
Posted 6:50pm Sunday 11th September 2022 by Esmond Paterson and Maddie Fenn
Callout: This column is supported by DPAG, but they have no influence on the reviews Every week, we send two writers to an art exhibit in Ōtepoti Dunedin. One of them will choose a specific piece, and describe it to the other without them looking. They’ll try to figure out what Read more...
Editorial: Embracing Indigenous Knowledge is the only way to get ourselves out of this mess
Posted 5:23pm Sunday 11th September 2022 by Annabelle Parata Vaughan (Ngāi Tahu)
Over the past 20 years, Aotearoa has made a more conscious effort to embrace te reo, tikanga and mātauranga Māori. Other parts of Aotearoa have made a conscious effort to double down on their racism, and drag the rest of us down with them. We’ve seen a revitalisation in the use of Read more...
Moaningful Confessions | Ted’s Bundy
Posted 8:40pm Saturday 3rd September 2022 by Critic
Being a broke Uni student, everyone does things to earn a little extra cash. For me, it was selling my body. A man, who we shall call Dave, who I’ve done a few things for, asked me one fateful evening if I could join in for a threesome. I kindly declined. However, I don’t think he got Read more...
Horoscopes: Week 21
Posted 8:38pm Saturday 3rd September 2022 by Critic
Aquarius Jan 20 - Feb 18 Sometimes, your airheaded ways can cause you to drift off, leaving you un-present during conversations. Work on this and learn how to live in the moment, as this time of life is often so fleeting. Hangover cure: more shots. Pisces Feb 19 Read more...
Booze Review | Steinlager Pure makes an embarrassment of Steinlager Classic
Posted 8:33pm Saturday 3rd September 2022 by Chug Norris
Steinlager Pure is like the younger sibling that outshines their elder in every way. Despite the marketing for both drinks being so similar that even experienced piss fiends would confuse them, the Pure version of Steinlager is infinitely better than its Classic cousin. But the quality of Pure also Read more...
Skuxx Food | Chicken and Chorizo Paella
Posted 8:30pm Saturday 3rd September 2022 by Rosie Joyce @skuxxfood
If you’re feeling it, swap the chicken for prawns – this is more traditional and very skuxx. Simply add them during the last 5 minutes of cooking. I also like to chuck a seasonal green in there for #health, silverbeet or spinach works well! Serves 5 Ingredients: Olive Read more...
Mr. Worldwide
Posted 8:27pm Saturday 3rd September 2022 by Mr. Worldwide
This week, we have an image supplied by Trish. We got last issue’s submission correct: Chris was in section 266 of Capital One Arena, for the Roger Waters gig in Washington, D.C. We guessed just one level up, but the same section. First Thoughts: It’s gloomy, it’s dreary, Read more...
In the Eye of the Beholders | Dunedin Art Reviews
Posted 8:24pm Saturday 3rd September 2022 by Esmond Paterson and Maddie Fenn
Every week, we send two writers to an art exhibit in Ōtepoti Dunedin. One of them will choose a specific piece, and describe it to the other without them looking. They’ll try to figure out what the piece actually is before diving into their thoughts on the entire exhibition. You Read more...
These “Freedom of Speech” Protests Remind me a lot of Woodstock ’99
Posted 6:26pm Friday 2nd September 2022 by Fox Meyer
It was 1999: the leather was low-cut, the tensions were high, and the dreadlocks were very, very white. The original Woodstock co-founder decided to throw another event to promote “peace and love”, which ended in a fiery riot. The first red flag was that he decided to host the hippie Read more...
Moaningful_Confessions.txt | Robot rendezvous
Posted 5:29pm Friday 19th August 2022 by Critic
I had the most amazing rendezvous last night. I was out at the bar with a few friends when I spotted him across the room. He was tall, dark, and handsome, and I couldn't help but stare. I could tell he was interested too, because he kept making eye contact with me. After a couple of drinks, I Read more...
Roboscopes: Week 20
Posted 5:25pm Friday 19th August 2022 by Critic
We used an AI to generate these, but ran out of our free trial halfway through. You can see where we switched to a shittier free one. Aquarius Jan 20 - Feb 18 Once you've put yourself in the right frame of mind, you'll be ready to start flirting up a storm. Whether Read more...
Booze Review | Bavaria Dark 8.6ers are an atrocious drink, but at least they’re not a rip off
Posted 5:18pm Friday 19th August 2022 by Chug Norris
Some of the best things in life are free, but some of the worst things in life come in at 0.95 dollars per standard. It must be said: massive respect to Bavaria for being one of the few drinks other than goon that can consistently deliver golden ratio prices, but it has to be asked: is the misery Read more...
AI Food | Raspberry Pie
Posted 5:14pm Friday 19th August 2022 by Alan Turing
Disclaimer: This was written by an AI. We have no idea if it’ll work. If you end up trying it out, let us know how it goes. This raspberry pie recipe is so simple and delicious, and it comes with a heart-warming story about how I used to hate raspberry pie but came to love it. When I was Read more...
Mr. Worldwide
Posted 5:09pm Friday 19th August 2022 by Mr. Worldwide
This week, we have an image supplied by Chris. We got last week’s submission correct, thanks to a last-minute bit of sleuthing by one of our reporters. Arlo was standing on Conwy Castle, in Llandudno Junction, Wales. First thoughts: Looks like the Hajj, but obviously not. Okay, stadium, Read more...
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