To preface, none of this was actually *meant* to happen, but here goes.
So, this friend of a friend added me on Snapchat. Nothing major. I thought it was just a friendly thing – he ended up asking me to hook him up with some herbs, and we talked about that for a bit. Fast forward to later that night and the conversation took a turn for the dirty. I was under the influence and we were still snapping, but this time it was all about sex. I thought he was pretty hot and I was totally out of it, so the conversation continued.
A couple of nights later I invited him to pres in my hall and he came by. Things are a little awkward for like five minutes before he hops on the bed with me, moves my leg on top of him, and before I know it we’ve got physical contact. We head off to drink more and play music in the Botans, and as we walk down past the Leith he starts holding my hand (cute, I know). Deep chats and lots more alcohol later, he asks me to go for a walk with him, leaving my friends behind to entertain themselves. My silly drunk self sees a poor lonely tree on our two-minute walk and decides it needs a hug.
While I'm hugging the tree this big hot hunk of man comes up behind me, pulls me off the tree by my BELT LOOPS and into a hot steamy make out. Hottest make out moves of my life. We’re interrupted by my friend blowing up my phone because she can’t find me and I've just run off into the wilderness with her other friend, so we head back. As the horny freshers we are, he asks me to go back to his hall and I oblige. Once we get to the hall, we make a beeline for his room.
After he closes the door, the action starts. It was probably some of the best sex of my life (and I’ve had enough to form what I think is a valid opinion) until I made a stupid fucking decision. He kept accidentally almost sticking it in my butt from the positions we were doing, before he asks “Wait I’ve never done it, do you wanna give it a go?”. My intoxicated self goes “yeah, why not aye?”.
I now know why not. That shit was the most painful sexual experience, even with ample amounts of lube – probably cause he was just too well-endowed, but also nothing had ever gone up my butt before. I do not recommend it. He takes it out and we keep having sex before fingers then go up my ass. Do not ask me why I agreed to let two different things up my ass, I do not know. All the while, my phone is going mental because my friend is back and she is blowing me up again. After we finish he tells me to chuck my clothes back on and we head back to my friend’s room. I decide to take my leave cause my bum still hurts, and I stumble home back to my hall before I chunny and head to sleep. Would never put anything up my butt again, but you can’t knock it ‘til you try it.
Brought to you by Adult Toy Megastore
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