Welcome back pissers and shitters, and a happy international Re:Ori! We hope everyone had a good break, except for all you Aucklanders who went to Bali. Fuck you guys, we are not reviewing your shitty Bintangs. Instead, here’s Hard Rated Orange.
Tasting Notes
Yep! It’s orange, alright. Tastes pretty much exactly like alcoholic Fanta with maybe a little bit of a bitter finish. Makes us all feel better about the fact that we haven't seen a real orange since we started uni. The wee zing at the end could definitely bring out an inner zest fest – catch us with a limp wrist, begging for Eagle Rock to come on.
Swig60’s Verdict
Just like its green and yellow sistaaaas (Lemon Lime and Lemon Mango flavours), its non-fizzy nature makes them pretty easy to skull according to Waisnorkel. However, these cannot ever hope to dethrone our favourite child – Red Tuis. We were pretty stoked to get in touch with these post-exams, with Speight Shepherd knocking back 7 boxes of ‘em in 4 days, cementing their solid spot in our rotations.
This rings especially true with the 2 for $50 deal going on at the moment, with Grogs pitching a tent at the thought of how well these go for the bank account. We’re not talking about the tent you put up at RnV. Brendan McSkullem put in some runs after a night out on these. By that we mean he had the wateriest shits of his life the next morning. He claims someone must have spiked the last drink of his second box, but logic would dictate otherwise.
Chugasnia argues that the childish allure of orange soda would restrict anyone from turning into prime Alexander Volkanovski. Instead, maybe these drinks might get you blind enough to think you’re punching in town – but the beer goggles remain firmly on.
These sexy ladies get a 8/10, good enough to get anyone peeling them down. Lots of love from the boys – we can't wait to spend the sem putting our livers on the line for you.
Drink responsibly, or at least tactically.
