Moaningful Confessions | Signal Hole

Moaningful Confessions | Signal Hole

My partner and I were both the first people in our respective flats to get Covid. Because of this, it meant that once we were done with our isolation and our flatmates got Covid, we didn’t have to isolate, so we were able to see each other after their iso had ended. Being able to see them was great, but here’s the thing: because both of our flats had Covid positive people, we couldn’t go to each other’s houses, and we wanted to fuck. 

We had already talked previously about how we wanted to be more adventurous in our sex life and one of the things we wanted to do was have sex outside, so we started brainstorming. Our first stop was Woodhaugh gardens. We found a little bush area and started getting down to business. Clothes were coming off and we were having a great time, all very sexy and adventurous. People were walking past, we would keep going but more quietly (because while the idea of getting caught was *chef’s kiss* impeccable, actually getting caught was not the vibe tbh). 

While I was getting fingered, very close to cumming, there was a rustling and a noise coming from further in the bushes. I obviously panicked and started re-clothing myself because I’ve seen enough horror movies to know what happens to the rapscallions who fuck in the forest (I am also still unsure of what the noise was but I was not about to fuck around and find out, as fun as a cheeky wee threesome with a demon/serial killer could have been). We went back to the car and got back to brainstorming. 

Options considered were: my car (too small), the beach (too sandy), a motel (too expensive). At this point I felt like a teenager trying to sneak around without my parents knowing what I was getting up to. 

We eventually gave in and headed toward the most stereotypical location any breather could imagine: Signal Hill. We parked up and went for a wander down the track, had a wee look at the stars (very romantic, I know) whilst surveying the area for an appropriate patch without anything that was going to stab me (safety first and nature is prickly). We eventually found a perfect section and before you know it, I was on my hands and knees getting absolutely pounded in the wet grass while people passed by us none the wiser. We finished up, caught our breath, got dressed and went back to the car to drive to our respective houses, satisfied with the way the evening ended. It was hot and the idea that someone could have caught us made it even better. Although next time I might suggest that we face the other way so we have a nice view to accompany our activities.

This article first appeared in Issue 25, 2022.
Posted 5:24pm Sunday 2nd October 2022 by Critic.