No
So, you’re racing like a pisshorse. Is it a) because you drank five 330ml cans (1.65L) in thirty minutes, or b) because you took a piss after drinking five 330ml cans in thirty minutes.
Ones who answered A would argue that getting on the piss has a science behind it. It’s simply Newton's third law of motion: every reaction has an equal and opposite reaction, like the more fun your night the worse the hangover – and 1.65 litres coming in, means 1.65 litres coming out (probably more because alcohol’s a diuretic but no one knows what that means anyway).
Ones who answered B would also argue that getting on the piss has a science behind it. Their science is wrong. Option B’s science, much like closing your eyes and pretending nothing is there, operates on the notion of ignorance is bliss. But you see, the only thing that happens when you hold the seal, is the slapping of some Flex Tape onto a cracked dam. Where unlike the shitty meme freshers probably won’t remember, the contents of your bladder will eventually be released in an action not too dissimilar to funnelling out the full-strength of Niagara falls through a straw. And not just any straw – a shitty paper straw that’s only there to make you feel less guilty about the unsustainable consumerism our society is based upon. That’s right, your science is wrong and you're a bad person.
However, and this may be a question for another time, is it better to wait for one mega-piss or take multiple smaller, and less uncomfortable, ones? Who knows. But breaking the seal isn’t real and option B takers are probably still busy rearranging the chairs on the Titanic.
Yes
Let’s be real: if breaking the seal wasn’t real, then why are toilets the most sought after place on a night out? Dunedin students know well that as soon as you take that first leak, all you face are a waterfall of consequences later down the track.
Sure, it may be psychological, but we can’t help but feel what our brains tell us to. Plus, there is science behind it. Alcohol is a diuretic; this means it prevents your body from releasing the hormones that tell your brain to retain water. Without that signal, the liquid goes straight out of ya.
Coupled with the first time you pee while drinking, your body is suddenly aware that there’s no holding back from the floodgates opening. You’re no longer distracted by DMCs or the good tunes at pres; all your body can think about is getting rid of alllllll those cans you’ve downed that night.
Also, once you empty your bladder, you’ve just created more empty space for it to fill up again. There’s very few people who are gonna stop drinking after they piss, creating a cycle of bladder filling-and-emptying. Better hope your host has more than one toilet, and nobody is having a cheeky tacky.
So yes, it may be psychological to some extent, but science supports your small bladder on your nights out. Don’t feel like you have to keep that piss in, it’s not good for you. Liver health may be an afterthought when you’re a student, but your bladder doesn’t deserve that kind of treatment.