Archive

Defending the kingdom | Issue 12

Posted 4:32pm Sunday 18th May 2014 by Libby Larsen

Everyone has that flatmate who took BSNS104 in first year and talks about demand and supply. (Actually, it doesn’t explain why you ate my soup when it was clearly labelled, but thanks ...) This principle states that an increase in consumer demand makes businesses increase output in order to supply Read more...

Guest Editorial | Issue 12

Posted 4:32pm Sunday 18th May 2014 by Claudia Herron

If there’s one thing I’ve learnt this year, it’s that student politics can be fraught with emotion and personal agendas. The OUSA Executive meetings have often been multi-hour affairs and are frequently punctuated with emotion, interruptions and largely inefficient discussion points. While the group Read more...

Love is Blind | Issue 11

Posted 3:11pm Sunday 11th May 2014 by Lovebirds

Critic’s infamous blind date column brings you weekly shutdowns, hilariously mismatched pairs, and the occasional hookup. Each week, we lure two singletons to Di Lusso, ply them with food and alcohol, then wait for their reports to arrive in our inbox. If this sounds like you, email Read more...

Science, Bitches | Issue 11

Posted 3:11pm Sunday 11th May 2014 by Elsie Jacobson

I was having tea with my grandma when she looked up and exclaimed, “Oh, the wallpaper’s changed again! It’s covered in spaniels now. I think I prefer this to the flowers.” The strange thing is her home has had the same unpatterned, cream-coloured walls for the last 20-odd years. Now, she’s Read more...

Queer Eye | Issue 11

Posted 3:11pm Sunday 11th May 2014 by Sir Lloyd Queerington

So, you have been reading this column for a while now and one morning you wake up and think, “sh*t, I think Sir Lloyd is talking about me, I think I am [insert appropriate label here].” By now you are probably experiencing a full-on existential crisis, having an anxiety attack and Snapchatting your Read more...

Hi Dr. Nick | Issue 11

Posted 3:11pm Sunday 11th May 2014 by Dr. Nick

Hi everybody, On a recent evening shift I put one of the whopping 16-gauge needles into a young girl’s measly little vein so we could top her up with a bag or two of fluid. Not the sort of medical miracle that earns a stuff.co.nz fluff piece, but still the biggest needle I’d ever successfully Read more...

ODT Watch | Issue 11

Posted 3:11pm Sunday 11th May 2014 by Allison Hess

Great parenting advice from the ODT! Now that smacking has been banned, parents are in need of a new way to punish their bratty children. This seems proportional to talking back or refusing to eat your greens. Steel has been metaling in matters that don’t concern him, which has Read more...

David Clark | Issue 11

Posted 3:11pm Sunday 11th May 2014 by David Clark

Over the course of the last five years, New Zealanders have had more exposure to New Zealand Sign Language (NZSL) than in any other time in recent memory. During the aftermath of the Christchurch earthquakes, interpreter Jeremy Borland became a staple of the daily press conferences. He stood Read more...

Defending the kingdom | Issue 11

Posted 3:11pm Sunday 11th May 2014 by Alex Carroll

Most readers will agree that sexism and racism are bad things, and that there are no tangible differences within the human species. But how would you react if I told you that there are no tangible differences between humans and the entire animal kingdom? I think most readers would consider this Read more...

Editorial | Issue 11

Posted 3:11pm Sunday 11th May 2014 by Zane Pocock

Last Tuesday and Wednesday, the Critic office was tuned in to Parliament’s question time with the hope of watching Judith Collins’ head roll over the Oravida scandal, her habitual dishonesty, and her generally awful demeanour. As at the time of writing, it was both disappointing and surprising to Read more...

Love is Blind | Issue 10

Posted 4:20pm Sunday 4th May 2014 by Lovebirds

Critic’s infamous blind date column brings you weekly shutdowns, hilariously mismatched pairs, and the occasional hookup. Each week, we lure two singletons to Di Lusso, ply them with food and alcohol, then wait for their reports to arrive in our inbox. If this sounds like you, email Read more...

Science, Bitches | Issue 10

Posted 4:20pm Sunday 4th May 2014 by Hannah Twigg

The other day, I was talking to a friend and they told me a story of someone they met who didn’t believe in gravity. Now, I don’t know about you, but try as I might, I can’t just levitate at will and ignore one of the fundamental laws of physics. (Though if you know a way, hit me up! How cool would Read more...

Queer Eye | Issue 10

Posted 4:20pm Sunday 4th May 2014 by Sir Lloyd Queerington

“We’re here, we’re queer, get used to it!” Or are you used to it? Are you so used to it that every time you hear about a pride parade or see queer posters you think, “They’ve got gay marriage, what more could they want?” Well, I am happy to admit that those conspiracy theorists who warn you about a Read more...

Hi Dr. Nick | Issue 10

Posted 4:20pm Sunday 4th May 2014 by Dr. Nick

Hi everybody, Children are sexy. Now, while we wait for the police to read that statement and come knocking on my door, let’s talk about Spider Man. I went and saw the newest Spider Man film yesterday. While by and large I found it quite a good film, something in the end bugged me. Read more...

ODT Watch | Issue 10

Posted 4:20pm Sunday 4th May 2014 by Kristen Stewart

At first glance this appears to be an awfully inept spelling mistake … but no. It is, in fact, an awful and confusingly contradictory pun about a pacifist’s response to international terrorism. When I give someone a piece of my mind, it is most definitely not peaceful! Incoming Read more...

David Clark | Issue 10

Posted 4:20pm Sunday 4th May 2014 by David Clark

Dunedin delivers in the cultural sphere. It always has. Think Robbie Burns. Think New Zealand’s first University. James K Baxter. iD Fashion. The Dunedin Sound. Six60. I think of the Dunedin books I stumbled across at University, like Dennis McEldowney’s Full of the Warm South or Archibald Read more...

Defending the kingdom | Issue 10

Posted 4:20pm Sunday 4th May 2014 by Elisabeth Larsen

For animal rights activists, Mojo Mathers is a woman who requires no introduction. She is frequently hailed as “the voice for animals,” as well as a trailblazer for people with disabilities. The list MP has been an adviser to the Green Party since 2006, and a Member of Parliament since 2011. Read more...

Editorial | Issue 10

Posted 4:20pm Sunday 4th May 2014 by Zane Pocock

With the OUSA survey results published last week, now seems as good a time as any for Critic to respond to feedback and step back to reassess our efforts. Our feedback was positive overall; we came in as OUSA’s second-most satisfying service and second-most used service, beaten by Events in Read more...

Love is Blind | Issue 09

Posted 1:58pm Sunday 27th April 2014 by Lovebirds

Critic’s infamous blind date column brings you weekly shutdowns, hilariously mismatched pairs, and the occasional hookup. Each week, we lure two singletons to Di Lusso, ply them with food and alcohol, then wait for their reports to arrive in our inbox. If this sounds like you, email Read more...

Science, Bitches | Issue 09

Posted 1:58pm Sunday 27th April 2014 by Laura Illston

Is there something important you’re meant to be doing? As many as 20 per cent of people identify as “chronic procrastinators,” so you are not alone. And by reading this column, you may be able to save yourself. With science! You want to do your homework but, simultaneously, you don’t. You’ve Read more...

Queer Eye | Issue 09

Posted 1:58pm Sunday 27th April 2014 by Orion

Moving on from last week’s introduction to non-monosexuality, today it’s time to bust some myths and talk media representation. Let’s get this out of the way right now: Non-monosexuals are no more likely to cheat, be promiscuous or have trouble committing to a relationship than anyone else. Read more...

Hi Dr. Nick | Issue 09

Posted 1:58pm Sunday 27th April 2014 by Dr. Nick

Hi everybody, I want you to picture two healthy new-born babies; all cute and pudgy and covered in blood and poo, because birth is messy like that. For simplicity’s sake, let’s call them Baby A and Baby B. For complexity’s sake, let’s turn Critic upside-down and try to read the rest of this Read more...

ODT Watch | Issue 09

Posted 1:58pm Sunday 27th April 2014 by Julie Reichenbach

Good try with the cutsie title, ODT. What this article is really about is the systematic murder of 769 rabbits in the “Great Easter Bunny Hunt.” Back in my day, the Easter Bunny hunt entailed searching for chocolate eggs ... times have apparently changed. The ODT appears to be Read more...

Defending the kingdom | Issue 09

Posted 1:58pm Sunday 27th April 2014 by Alex Carroll

Pigs have long been a human meal, being one of the first animals to be domesticated almost 13,000 years ago. Under domestication, pigs lived a similar life to what they had in the wild, bar only the fence around their enclosure. This way of farming pigs remained largely unchanged until the second Read more...

David Clark | Issue 09

Posted 1:58pm Sunday 27th April 2014 by David Clark

Not so long ago, Dunedin’s homeless were regarded as an idiosyncrasy, known by name to students, and looked out for. Now they are becoming too numerous to care about – or so it seems. People don’t stop to speak with the homeless. Instead of an idiosyncrasy, their ubiquity is turning them into an Read more...

Editorial | Issue 09

Posted 1:58pm Sunday 27th April 2014 by Zane Pocock

I sincerely dislike public holidays. I understand that many others do, too. Before I explain, I feel the need to emphasise that I am a big supporter of increasing workers’ rights. I’m not at all a fan of what currently seems to be an inevitable enslavement by employment, I understand the Read more...

Love is Blind | Issue 08

Posted 4:31pm Sunday 13th April 2014 by Lovebirds

Critic’s infamous blind date column brings you weekly shutdowns, hilariously mismatched pairs, and the occasional hookup. Each week, we lure two singletons to Di Lusso, ply them with food and alcohol, then wait for their reports to arrive in our inbox. If this sounds like you, email Read more...

Science, Bitches | Issue 08

Posted 4:31pm Sunday 13th April 2014 by Laura Illston

Invisibility would be an awesome superpower. Are you socially avoidant? Just throw on your handy invisibility cloak and you’re good to go! And maybe you don’t want to hide. Maybe you just want to conceal your peanut butter so your flatmates will stop stealing it. What does science have to say about Read more...

Queer Eye | Issue 08

Posted 4:31pm Sunday 13th April 2014 by Orion

Greetings, fellow humans: Today we set out to explain a relatively simple concept: not everyone is more attracted to one sex/gender than another. Let’s think of people as food. You like pizza, right? Maybe you don’t, but you’re not going to get up in my grill if I do. Some people also Read more...

Hi Dr. Nick | Issue 08

Posted 4:31pm Sunday 13th April 2014 by Dr. Nick

Hi everybody, Winter is coming. The white walkers are approaching, the Lannisters are sending their regards, and everybody you’ve grown attached to is being killed in the most gut wrenching of ways. Fuck you, George R. R. Martin. As winter approaches, not only do we see an increase in the Read more...

ODT Watch | Issue 08

Posted 4:31pm Sunday 13th April 2014 by Kristen Stewart

The ODT is your one stop shop for news of the royal visit! All the drooling and irrational obsession you could possibly hope for over the duration of their stay is to be found in the ODT’s special “royal tour” feature! Funny how so far none of the articles have mentioned how the visit is Read more...

David Clark | Issue 08

Posted 4:31pm Sunday 13th April 2014 by David Clark

“Sex is fun; religion is funnier.” Some in my theology class took offence. The theology professor who issued the statement was one of my more entertaining ones. It was him who used to call me “mister tippy-tappy.” Apparently some in the class didn’t think it appropriate to laugh about either Read more...

Editorial | Issue 08

Posted 4:31pm Sunday 13th April 2014 by Zane Pocock

Whenever I hear someone say “gay” in a way that means “lame” or “stupid,” I tense up a bit. Worse still is “faggot,” laden as it is with an atrocious history of meaning in relation to gay people. It’s a genuine physical reaction that I never would have expected considering these are words that don’t Read more...

Love Is Blind | Issue 07

Posted 4:50pm Sunday 6th April 2014 by Lovebirds

Critic’s infamous blind date column brings you weekly shutdowns, hilariously mismatched pairs, and the occasional hookup. Each week, we lure two singletons to Di Lusso, ply them with food and alcohol, then wait for their reports to arrive in our inbox. If this sounds like you, email Read more...

Science, Bitches | Issue 07

Posted 4:50pm Sunday 6th April 2014 by Elsie Jacobson

What do wasabi alarms, farting fish, bat blowjobs, dogs’ bollocks, and undead salmon have in common? They were all subjects of Ignobel prize-winning research! Now, if you’ve never heard of Ignobel Prizes, get excited. Far funnier than Darwin awards, they acknowledge research that “makes you laugh, Read more...

Queer Eye | Issue 07

Posted 4:50pm Sunday 6th April 2014 by Sir Lloyd Queerington

Unfortunately, too many students consider the dilemma posed in the title on our campus every day. And not because we’re a navel-gazing bunch, obsessed with hypothetical problems, but because of the very real gender segregation in the bathroom facilities provided by the University. I am Read more...

Hi Dr. Nick | Issue 07

Posted 4:50pm Sunday 6th April 2014 by Dr. Nick

Being a fresher is tough; you still study for terms tests, people give you filthy looks when you go to the Octagon, you think people give a fuck about your hall and the order in which you chose it. You also get blamed for a lot of shit like ruining Hyde Street, signing up for flats in May and making Read more...

ODT Watch | Issue 07

Posted 4:50pm Sunday 6th April 2014 by Kristen Stewart

Denmark has come up with an innovative way to increase birth rates – and we like it! Though we’re a little mystified about the encouragement for “elderly and gay couples” to participate ... Um, no, I think your guest will be thinking twice before accepting a dinner invitation from you Read more...

David Clark | Issue 07

Posted 4:50pm Sunday 6th April 2014 by David Clark

I’m glad to see Critic has already sounded the alarm about the Government’s proposed changes aimed at removing student membership from university councils. It makes me angry to think that students will be excluded from decision-making at the highest levels. A growing body of evidence proves Read more...

Editorial | Issue 07

Posted 4:50pm Sunday 6th April 2014 by Zane Pocock

With the OUSA Executive’s first quarterly reports being presented last Tuesday, it’s about time we checked in for an overall look at their performance. And for the first half of the meeting I was (somewhat surprisingly) pleased with their effort. It seems that almost everyone is finally contributing Read more...

Love is Blind | Issue 06

Posted 7:01pm Sunday 30th March 2014 by Lovebirds

Critic’s infamous blind date column brings you weekly shutdowns, hilariously mismatched pairs, and the occasional hookup. Each week, we lure two singletons to Di Lusso, ply them with food and alcohol, then wait for their reports to arrive in our inbox. If this sounds like you, email Read more...

Science, Bitches! | Issue 06

Posted 7:01pm Sunday 30th March 2014 by Hannah Twigg

"This curry is really hot!” your flatmate says when you serve up dinner. Your spice-intolerant flatmate quickly asks if the curry is spicy hot, or just hot because it’s fresh out of the pan. They can’t handle spicy food, and are hoping it’s the latter. But why do we describe foods with lots of Read more...

Queer Eye | Issue 06

Posted 7:01pm Sunday 30th March 2014 by Sir Lloyd Queerington

Greetings, pumpkins. In a previous column I noted that sexuality is slippery. Well, my friends, gender is more slippery than muscle-bound Turkish men in a grease-wrestling match (look it up)! There are many aspects of gender to explore but this column will focus on gender identity. Read more...

Hi Dr. Nick | Issue 06

Posted 7:01pm Sunday 30th March 2014 by Dr. Nick

Hi everybody, Sex. It’s fun. It’s fun in relationships, it’s fun casually, it’s fun when you love somebody, and it’s fun when you don’t. Let’s never underestimate how fun sex can be because, in the words of Rebecca Black, it’s “fun, fun, fun, fun. [I’m] looking forward to the weekend.” But Read more...

ODT Watch | Issue 06

Posted 7:01pm Sunday 30th March 2014 by Allison Hess

So that’s why they’re tearing up the Leith! Get your sledge hammers out – we’re going to be rich! You’re giving us mixed messages here, ODT. We thought destruction was meant to boost profits ... Instead an 11-year-old apple merchant is now financially ruined. High Read more...

David Clark | Issue 06

Posted 7:01pm Sunday 30th March 2014 by David Clark

Big trends shape all of our futures. The Industrial Revolution and the communications revolution have changed our world in ways past generations could not imagine. Like other trends, increasing globalisation has both good and bad sides. When I think about New Zealand’s future, there are Read more...

Editorial | Issue 06

Posted 7:01pm Sunday 30th March 2014 by Zane Pocock

Last week, the media pounced on Kim Dotcom for owning a copy of Hitler’s Mein Kampf. People collect some strange things. I have a friend in Sydney who bought an antique taxidermy kiwi. He’s not promoting that people start hunting our iconic native bird again. Some collect their wisdom teeth Read more...

Love Is Blind | Issue 05

Posted 5:30pm Sunday 23rd March 2014 by Lovebirds

Critic’s infamous blind date column brings you weekly shutdowns, hilariously mismatched pairs, and the occasional hookup. Each week, we lure two singletons to Di Lusso, ply them with food and alcohol, then wait for their reports to arrive in our inbox. If this sounds like you, email Read more...

Science, Bitches! | Issue 05

Posted 5:30pm Sunday 23rd March 2014 by Laura Illston

How often are you overcome by a strong urge to levitate a frog? Your answer is most likely “not often.” However, this is just one of the many things science can achieve. In addition to your frog, you’re going to need some magnets – the stronger the better. A magnetic coil of about 16 tesla Read more...

Queer Eye | Issue 05

Posted 5:30pm Sunday 23rd March 2014 by Sir Lloyd Queerington

Hello again, sweetpeas. Today we are continuing our 101 of queer identities by looking at sex. Not the sex that you do but the sex that you have been assigned. Confused? Well, let us begin with some baby-making. People make babies. They make them in a whole lot of different ways, but Read more...

Hi Dr. Nick | Issue 05

Posted 5:30pm Sunday 23rd March 2014 by Dr. Nick

Hi everybody, So last week we began the sex talk from a healthcare point of view, and raised the fact that most people start having sex a lot later than you’d expect from high school banter. Before we plunge deep into the moist cavern of sexually transmitted icky things, I wanted to spend a Read more...

ODT Watch | Issue 05

Posted 5:30pm Sunday 23rd March 2014 by Allison Hess

What kind of burlesque show is this? They're wearing more clothes than a UniCol fresher out on a Saturday night. In winter. When it's raining. If only men would accept women as equals in the workplace. That's rich coming from you, ODT. This public Read more...

Feelgood | Issue 05

Posted 5:30pm Sunday 23rd March 2014 by Ethan Rodgers

Is it just me, or do all our public holidays blow massive elephant cock? (Seriously, Google elephant penis. It’s funny). Let’s take our national holiday: now, I don’t want to get into a deliriously redneck style here, but Waitangi Day makes me want to stab people. There’s no public thing to do on Read more...

David Clark | Issue 05

Posted 5:30pm Sunday 23rd March 2014 by David Clark

If you’ve been around a while, you’ll know Invermay is the name of a world-class agricultural research facility in Mosgiel that often partners with the University of Otago. It is part of AgResearch, the largest Crown Research Institute owned by the New Zealand Government. Recently the Read more...

Editorial | Issue 05

Posted 5:30pm Sunday 23rd March 2014 by Zane Pocock

These days, if you’re travelling around Hungary and someone wanders into your holiday snap as it’s taken, there’s a good chance you could get into deep shit with the authorities. A law that came into effect on 15 March requires photographers to ask permission from every single individual in Read more...

Love Is Blind | Issue 04

Posted 2:59pm Sunday 16th March 2014 by Lovebirds

Critic’s infamous blind date column brings you weekly shutdowns, hilariously mismatched pairs, and the occasional hookup. Each week, we lure two singletons to Di Lusso, ply them with food and alcohol, then wait for their reports to arrive in our inbox. If this sounds like you, email Read more...

Science, Bitches! | Issue 04

Posted 2:59pm Sunday 16th March 2014 by Elsie Jacobson

What did the particle physicist say when he went to the heavy metal concert? “Wow, it seems the participants of the mosh pit behave intriguingly like gas molecules!” Take note, young grasshoppers; the science doesn’t stop when you leave the lecture theatre. That wasn’t a bad joke; that was a Read more...

Queer Eye | Issue 04

Posted 2:59pm Sunday 16th March 2014 by Harlequin

Doesn’t that have to do with spores or something? You may be dredging up fuzzy memories of Year 11 Biology: Fungi? Plants? That bit in Jurassic Park where the dinosaurs started laying eggs and shit hit the fan? Well, son, you may want to sit down for this next bit: words can have more than Read more...

Hi Dr. Nick | Issue 04

Posted 2:59pm Sunday 16th March 2014 by Dr. Nick

Hi everybody, The joy of writing under a pseudonym is that you can say anything you want without fear of repercussion. It instantly silences the angel on your shoulder that tells you not to be needlessly crass or make libellous accusations. As my name’s not on my work, I can imply that Read more...

Feelgood | Issue 04

Posted 2:59pm Sunday 16th March 2014 by Ethan Rodgers

If there’s one thing any red-blooded Kiwi male absolutely pisses his pants about, it’s the prospect of a diplomatic dispute being resolved by horrific violence. Now through the magic of Old Media; I am coming to you from two weeks in the past, so it’s entirely possible that by now Read more...

David Clark | Issue 04

Posted 2:59pm Sunday 16th March 2014 by David Clark

You may know someone who works at the Dunedin Community Law Centre in Filleul Street. One of 24 nationwide, the Dunedin Community Law Centre was established in 1980. Close to 200 people volunteer there – many of them law students at our University. As the local electorate MP, I frequently Read more...

Editorial | Issue 04

Posted 2:59pm Sunday 16th March 2014 by Zane Pocock

In this issue, Loulou Callister-Baker’s feature “Opinion Entitled to Hearing?” (page 28) speaks of the importance of transparency and accountability in universities and student associations. It’s a pertinent piece. Personally, a huge issue of mine is that I have often found the University of Otago Read more...

ODT Watch | Issue 04

Posted 2:59pm Sunday 16th March 2014 by Allison Hess

I think this is a sign for a good weekend (the ODT isn’t the only one capable of a great pun); if the doctors can’t save you after your night out, the Church will. Now babies can help with the DIY; it’s about time they pulled their weight around the house. When Read more...

Love Is Blind | Issue 03

Posted 4:35pm Sunday 9th March 2014 by Lovebirds

Critic’s infamous blind date column brings you weekly shutdowns, hilariously mismatched pairs, and the occasional hookup. Each week, we lure two singletons to Di Lusso, ply them with food and alcohol, then wait for their reports to arrive in our inbox. If this sounds like you, email Read more...

Science, Bitches! | Issue 03

Posted 4:35pm Sunday 9th March 2014 by Hannah Twigg

So we’re three weeks in and perhaps you’re already starting to get a little sick of the ghetto of North Dunedin. Why not check out some of the local wildlife in the area? And, no, I’m not talking about the animals on Castle Street pounding SoGos. We’re actually pretty lucky here in Dunedin because a Read more...

Queer Eye | Issue 03

Posted 4:35pm Sunday 9th March 2014 by Sir Lloyd Queerington

Hi lovelies, “I’ve always felt that sexuality is a really slippery thing. In this day and age, it tends to get categorised and labelled, and I think labels are for food. Canned food.”– Michael Stipe. This epigraph neatly introduces a tension within the queer community: that between Read more...

Hi Dr. Nick | Issue 03

Posted 4:35pm Sunday 9th March 2014 by Dr. Nick

Hi everybody, Last week we flirted with the idea of putting complex medical terms into simple concepts. This week we’re going to take our relationship with that idea to the next level; order it a bottle of the 24’s finest Pinot Gris, treat it to dinner in Dunedin’s most romantic restaurant Read more...

ODT Watch | Issue 03

Posted 4:35pm Sunday 9th March 2014 by Allison Hess

This front page story about the tragic three-week shortage of bananas encapsulates what the ODT is all about … hard hitting journalism, understated exposés and, of course, first-rate puns. This man was caught cultivating and possessing cannabis in his home. Lesson to be Read more...

David Clark | Issue 03

Posted 4:35pm Sunday 9th March 2014 by David Clark

In dark days past, when the Internet was new to Otago, I had to get a “driver’s licence” before being issued an email account by the University. Getting a “driver’s licence” involved attending labs where email communication was attempted, while supervised and under strictly controlled conditions. Read more...

Editorial | Issue 03

Posted 4:35pm Sunday 9th March 2014 by Zane Pocock

Technology is a double-edged sword. The people on one side saying that it’s elevated and liberated humans are right; the ones on the other side who say we’re now slaves buried by it are also right. I’ve certainly got a fair bit of both sides in my life, anyway. The various computing devices Read more...

ODT Watch | Issue 02

Posted 4:35pm Sunday 9th March 2014 by Thomas Raethel

Considering the level of racial diversity seen in Dunedin, it comes as no surprise that our fine region’s “African Chief” looks like a mixture of Prince Charles and Hamish Keith. What is most alarming about this scenario: that the prostate examinee was enjoying it more than the Read more...

ODT Watch | Issue 01

Posted 4:35pm Sunday 9th March 2014 by Zane Pocock

Suddenly those free O-Week pies seem a bit more sinister: “He had reheated the pie in a 630W microwave at his workplace, as he had many times before,” the article says. The rest was dotted with such gems as “[Otago’s] hot food injury rates begin to boil over,” while “hot food injury Read more...

Love Is Blind | Issue 02

Posted 4:44pm Sunday 2nd March 2014 by Lovebirds

Critic’s infamous blind date column brings you weekly shutdowns, hilariously mismatched pairs, and the occasional hookup. Each week, we lure two singletons to Di Lusso, ply them with food and alcohol, then wait for their reports to arrive in our inbox. If this sounds like you, email Read more...

Science, Bitches! | Issue 02

Posted 4:44pm Sunday 2nd March 2014 by Laura Illston

Your busy timetable of procrastination and partying hard may not have left you much time to sleep. Will science be able to help you when those first due dates start to loom? Of course! Your solution: a power nap. The key thing about power naps is that they’re less than 30 minutes long. As you Read more...

Queer Eye | Issue 02

Posted 4:44pm Sunday 2nd March 2014 by Sir Lloyd Queerington

Hello Lovelies, This week I want to tell you a story about a little boy called Lloyd. This boy grew up in a small rural town in the south of Aotearoa. He had a “traditional” upbringing, surrounded by a loving family, Christian values, hard work and lots of toys. He was a bright kid, good at Read more...

Hi Dr. Nick | Issue 02

Posted 4:44pm Sunday 2nd March 2014 by Dr. Nick

Hi everybody, If you’ve been lucky enough to contract a rare disease in your lifetime, then you’ve no doubt met a bunch of medical students and had them poke, prod and probe you. It’s a law of nature that doctors love to cart their minions through the hospital to proudly display their Read more...

David Clark | Issue 02

Posted 4:44pm Sunday 2nd March 2014 by David Clark

In the past seven days, new Otago students will have met people they’ll know and care about for the rest of their lives. How do I know this? From my own experience and from that of countless Otago grads through the years. Ask those who’ve been around a little longer. Of course, not everyone Read more...

Feelgood | Issue 02

Posted 4:44pm Sunday 2nd March 2014 by Ethan Rodgers

Comrades, at the time this article was written, Ellen Page (best known for her role as an irritating prego-hipster) had recently burst forth from the closet in a cloud of rainbows, glitter and k. d. lang records. Oh, good for her; I know a thing or two about being locked in a small enclosed space Read more...

Editorial | Issue 02

Posted 4:44pm Sunday 2nd March 2014 by Zane Pocock

Last Sunday evening, before the first issue of Critic had technically been published (we distribute a day early for reasons of practicality), an editorial decision had already left me labeled a “numbnut” on Twitter by local National list MP Michael Woodhouse. For me, there are two key points Read more...

Love Is Blind | Issue 01

Posted 6:57pm Sunday 23rd February 2014 by Lovebirds

Critic’s infamous blind date column brings you weekly shutdowns, hilariously mismatched pairs, and the occasional hookup. Each week, we lure two singletons to Di Lusso, ply them with food and alcohol, then wait for their reports to arrive in our inbox. If this sounds like you, email Read more...

Queer Eye | Issue 01

Posted 6:57pm Sunday 23rd February 2014 by Sir Lloyd Queerington

Hello lovelies, Welcome to this column, and for those new to town, welcome to Dunnaz. I hope you have a great year at Otago as you load yourself up with a huge student debt and try to get yourself a degree. I also really hope that you get the most out of what you can learn here outside of Read more...

Hi Dr. Nick | Issue 01

Posted 6:57pm Sunday 23rd February 2014 by Dr. Nick

Hi, everybody! Something I’ve noticed in my travels through the healthcare system is that there are certain questions that come up whenever people find out you’re a medical student. If you’re female, you’ll undoubtedly be asked: “Are you going to be a doctor or a nurse?” by your Read more...

David Clark | Issue 01

Posted 6:57pm Sunday 23rd February 2014 by David Clark

Welcome to 2014. I love this time of year, with North Dunedin enjoying the surge of energy that accompanies students repopulating the electorate. While this isn’t my first appearance in Critic, for those of you I haven’t yet met: I’m your local electorate MP, David Clark. I have the Read more...

Execrable | Issue 01

Posted 6:57pm Sunday 23rd February 2014 by Zane Pocock

The OUSA Executive meeting held last Tuesday 18 February saw President Ruby Sycamore-Smith leading confidently from the front, with Administrative Vice-President Ryan Edgar suspiciously silent and looking much like Critic’s new pet goldfish. The meeting got off to a slow start, however, with Read more...

Science, Bitches! | Issue 01

Posted 6:57pm Sunday 23rd February 2014 by Elsie Jacobson

Have you heard of herd mentality? It can manifest in a few different ways. You may notice some of these as you observe University of Otago students in their natural habitat. (Cue David Attenborough voiceover.) Approaching the St. David’s lecture theatre around half past the hour, you Read more...

Feelgood | Issue 01

Posted 6:57pm Sunday 23rd February 2014 by Ethan Rodgers

A friend of mine was recently employed to be a man in a gorilla suit. He’s supposed to be encouraging the fine people of Dunedin (not to mention the multitude of raving lunatics who wander the streets curiously free of straight jackets) to “Get Active!” with all the irritating enthusiasm of a Read more...

Editorial | Issue 01

Posted 6:57pm Sunday 23rd February 2014 by Zane Pocock

Just as an exhilarating combination of caffeine, excitement and sleep deprivation kicked in with our first print deadline looming last Wednesday evening, a truly sad moment for New Zealand student media was broken to those who were listening. Massive, the combined magazine of a whole shitload Read more...

How a Jacobin Ends | Opinion

Posted 4:26pm Sunday 6th October 2013 by Jacobin

If you have read any of my columns, I hope you enjoyed them. I hope you felt personally addressed by them. I imagine you as I wish you to be: happy and constantly learning. As for me ... well, the revolutionary is a doomed man. Robespierre, the original Jacobin, was guillotined by his Read more...

Editorial | Issue 26

Posted 4:26pm Sunday 6th October 2013 by Sam McChesney

So here’s the last issue of the year! Oh golly gosh, I have so many people to thank! I’d like to thank my mum and dad, for raising me to be the editor I am today. They were so proud when I delayed entering the workforce to take on an eternally Google-able, man-child job involving prodigious Read more...

Science, Bitches! | Issue 26

Posted 4:26pm Sunday 6th October 2013 by Hannah Twigg

Ever wished you could just implant memories into your head? You could chuck in a memory of having read your entire textbook for class without actually doing the reading. Well, guess what: scientists have managed to put false memories into a mouse’s brain! The breakthrough was made possible by Read more...

Hi Dr. Nick | Issue 26

Posted 4:26pm Sunday 6th October 2013 by Dr. Nick

As Dr John Dorian once said, “endings are never easy … We all want to believe that what we do is very important, that people hang on to our every word, that they care what we think.” This quote kick-started my imagination, and I bawled like a little bitch. While reasserting my masculinity by eating Read more...

Daily Grind | Issue 26

Posted 4:26pm Sunday 6th October 2013 by M and G

Rating: 3/5 G has always assumed that Governor’s, located on George Street opposite Knox Church, is some sort of Jamaican eatery that sells goats’ cheese curry. In fact, Governor’s is a brunch-centered café open seven days a week. After being fucked over by daylight saving, M and G Read more...

Get Out Of The Ghetto | Issue 26

Posted 4:26pm Sunday 6th October 2013 by Phoebe Harrop

The Alexandra Blossom festival, an annual springtime kaleidoscope of small-town New Zealand goodness, is a Dunedin bucket list must-do escape. Held at the end of each September, when Central Otago’s blossoms are in full vernal splendour, the Festival is stretched over several weeks but culminates in Read more...

Love Is Blind | Issue 26

Posted 4:26pm Sunday 6th October 2013 by Lovebirds

BrandonI went into the date expecting very little – the selection pool of openly gay people in Dunedin who would sign up for this date must be tiny, so to be honest I thought my man would be a disappointment. To make things worse, I was also half expecting my date to be someone I already knew. Read more...

The More Things Change | Issue 26

Posted 4:26pm Sunday 6th October 2013 by Jessica Bromell

This week, “The More Things Change” comes to its inevitable end. History, meanwhile, does not. 12 October, 1216: King John of England, best known for sealing the Magna Carta, ran into trouble on a journey and lost the Crown Jewels in a swamp. He’d been out fighting the barons and the French, Read more...

ODT Watch | Issue 26

Posted 4:26pm Sunday 6th October 2013 by Josie Cochrane

No, the Queen wasn’t talking about John Key’s visit. The article is about wasps being accidentally introduced into New Zealand for no purpose whatsoever, much like tofu. Funnily enough, the ODT isn’t referring to its own reporting. The title actually refers to Dunedin’s Read more...

The Preachings of a Liberal | Opinion

Posted 4:26pm Sunday 6th October 2013 by Guy McCallum

Since this is my last year at university, and my last column for Critic, it seems fitting to use this space to impart some of the wisdom that I have obtained over the years. This wisdom is the end product of my various achievements – and numerous disappointments – first as a Christian, and a Read more...

Hi Dr. Nick | Issue 25

Posted 2:29pm Sunday 29th September 2013 by Dr. Nick

Hi everybody, Put your hand in your front right pocket and have a good ol’ feel. That phone you’ve got in your hand, and its reliance on the ore Coltan, is responsible for the conflict in the Congo that the World Health Organisation conservatively estimates kills over 1,000 people a day. Read more...

Science, Bitches! | Issue 25

Posted 2:29pm Sunday 29th September 2013 by Bryony Leeke

Exams are looming, stress is building, the Central Lib will soon be overflowing, and the stress-relief method that got us through the rest of the semester – that favourite student pastime, the weekend booze-binge – will shortly be abandoned in favour of Saturday nights hitting the books. Within a Read more...

Daily Grind | Issue 25

Posted 2:29pm Sunday 29th September 2013 by M and G

Rating: 3.5/5 This one has been a long time coming. Capers is a Dunedin institution, mostly for freshers who want a break from hall food and well-meaning guys taking their one-night stand out for a “thanks for the bang” brunch. Famous for their obscenely large pancakes and frantic weekend Read more...