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No matter who you are, at one time or another you’ve probably been on the receiving end of an advance from a pushy, nosy, contentious or overly concerned parent. Maybe you have two of them. Maybe even more. Whatever your situation, be it going home for a “break” (read: free food) or getting hounded about searching for a summer job/ real job/ life, there are times when you just want your parents to back off – but for some reason you can’t quite bring yourself to tell them this. In my experience, the best approach is prevention rather than correction. Make life easier for yourself and everyone else by becoming a parent whisperer.

Whether you’re actually doing something wrong or not, your outward persona around your parents has the ability to either placate or exasperate them. Try to cultivate a sweet, cheerful, outgoing attitude that you can switch on when you come into their proximity – turning on “angel mode” should be your first line of defence in any situation. After all, it’s hard to argue with an angel.

Smile and greet them enthusiastically whenever you see them. Always act like you’d love to stop and talk to them if they didn’t seem so busy/important/drunk. Start getting up at a human time of day, and jump out of bed to make coffee and fry some eggs. Make sure they see you doing this. (If you’re normally a sullen, emo brat then you may want to ease into this one so as not to arouse suspicion.)

The best way to avoid interfering/ nosy parents is not to demand privacy and boundaries, but rather to over share. If they ask you where you’re going, don’t just say “out” – give them an exhaustive run-down of your plans (probably censored) and before you know it, they’ll lose interest and walk off. You have to make them believe that your life really is as mundane as theirs. Be sure to also ask them about their life and daily activities to create the impression of an open exchange channel, hereby reassuring them that there is no need to subject you to the fucking third degree.

If all else fails and your gentle approach is failing to penetrate the solid wall of years of built-up consternation, all you can really do is try to dodge conflict entirely. Ignore inflammatory remarks even if you have an excellent rebuttal. You may have to occasionally pretend to agree with their ridiculous opinions and demands, but this will be less frustrating if you think of it as humouring them because they’re old.