WSG (What’s good) my pimps, playaz, and operators! It is I, Joan of the Rark, presenting to you what I would like to call “Japanese Codys” (JCs). This is for two reasons: 1) I cannot remember what they are actually called (chur to my editor for fixing the title), and 2) I believe this is what they should really be called.
I was a bit sceptical of these when I realised that 24 were packed in four separate six-packs, rather than six four-packs. A minor change, but one that indicates the creator reckons, “Nah mate, four will fuck you up aye, no need for 6.” Of course, me being the absolute pisshound I am, I reckon I’ll just smash back four calm as aye and break out my trusty Pint Night glass and delete them. Next thing I know I'm involved in a West Auckland backyard boxing battle royale where the prize is one bitcoin until “Cobalt” shut it down for being over the maximum neighborhood decibel level of 60 after 5pm.
These beauties weigh in at 6%, and in a 330ml format, this equates to about 1.7 standard bevs. Considering I acquired a 24-slab (40.8 standards) for 40 dollarydoos, they’ve categorically beaten the sacred golden ratio of 1:1 standard to dollar. It’s lucky this stuff was located, because for a while it was looking like Critic would need to hit up the mad scientists at the Brewing club to beat the ratio, or even worse, the ones in OUSSC. We would like to thank Meenans for coming through and saving us from having to create food-safe paint stripper with either group (we are still gonna do one of these anyway lmao).
JCs are to Codys what vapes are to cigarettes: more concentrated and with flavours that are appealing to children. It has nose hints of watery Berocca and (according to Fang) acrid notes of piss, but tastewise it’s much more La Croix than la wazz. These drinks lack much of the acidity of other competitors such as Hyoketsu, registering a lot closer to L&P – though less lemon and more Paeroa.
Chugability: 1,000,000/10. This stuff basically dives down your throat and cracks an Olympic 10 no splash dive into your bladder, then the cycle repeats. Hakuna matata
Hangoverness: 4/10. They’re potent little bastards, but none of the brutal tail you'd expect
Pairs well with: The paddywagon tonight my G