Ozzy
The day started like any other: my flat mates and I began having a few drinks in the middle of the afternoon. I was looking forward to free food and drinks before hitting town later in the night. After five minutes prep, I was walking to Di Lusso in the pouring rain. My date had arrived just before me and was looking a little bit nervous. We started off with a couple of shots of cock-sucking cowboys and sat down to begin asking questions about the basics: who; what; where; how; and why? She had a fair selection of tats along her arms –13 altogether in total, apparently. A whole 13 more than myself, I might add. She was quite attractive, mind you; she looked good in what she was wearing and had a good figure (she kept saying it took her three hours to get ready and, credit where credit is due, it was three hours well spent).After more light discussion – and drinking, of course – our platter finally showed up. Turns out she lives on my street and is a friend of a friend. (Great match making, Critic! Sort of ruins the total anonymity blind dates are meant to have, doesn’t it?) Soon the discussion turned far more intellectual than what I was expecting. She did look the part. To know what was actually happening in the Middle East, for example, is impressive – most “intellectuals” I know don’t have a clue about what is going on there, let alone anywhere else in the world.
After a few more shots and finishing our drinks we started to head home. She pulled a cigarette as soon as we got outside, but I’m not a fan at all of the smell, so that is always a major turn off. I’m going to say she walked me home – being on the same street and all – since we passed my place first. Overall, I’d give the date 5/10 but I did love the setting of Di Lusso and the awesome staff there! Thanks again!
Sharon
Now, my love life has been close to a joke in the last three years. So, naturally, I found myself pretty excited. I spent all day in preparation.After arriving early and having a quick chat to the bartender I admitted to myself that I was actually quite nervous. With the to-be-expected awkward introductions out of the way – and a shot together – we sat down at a table by the window.
First impressions are often wrong but I think I was pretty spot-on with this one. I could tell from looking at the kid that he was a bit of a nerd. And I was right. To cut a long story short, he was about as far from my type as possible (and looked freakishly like my brother).
Anyway, he told me about his hobbies and interests while I blabbed on about tattoos (because that’s basically all I could think about). I could tell he wasn’t impressed with my stories regarding all my new ink. To add to this, I don’t usually drink, and after a nine-month stint sober, it turns out I don’t handle my alcohol like the champ I once was. I must have spent 90 per cent of the time staring out the window blanking out while he talked and I pretended to listen. Eventually I said I would like to leave because – well, to be brutally honest – I was bored shitless. I gathered my things and we headed on our way.
To my delight, it turned out he lived on the same street as me, just a few houses down, so we walked home together in the rain. How romantic. We got to his door and he invited me – like a gentlemen, I might add – to go out drinking in town that night. I said I would get in contact. We shared a hug, a goodbye and then I was on my way.
Needless to say, I won’t be seeing him again. I ended up getting a taxi to a “friend’s” house for the night. Sorry, kid. Better luck on your next date.