Archive

Editorial: Give Me Burrito or Give Me Death

Posted 1:20pm Sunday 12th March 2023 by Fox Meyer

Pretty much every culture in the world has independently invented the same four things: bladed weapons, fermentation, pigments, and a way to wrap dough around food.   I’m talking sandwiches. I’m talking kebabs, calzones, dumplings, gyros, and, of course, burritos. And it warms Read more...

Crate Review: Waikato Draught

Posted 1:13pm Sunday 12th March 2023 by Albert Einsteinlager

As a Jaf-ugee, Crate Day always leaves me in a bit of a conundrum. On the one hand, I can try and claim Speights as my crate of origin, but I know deep in my heart I’m no Southern man. On the other hand, Lion Red is fucking disgusting. However, this year, I was saved the agonizing choice by my Read more...

Local Produce: What Does My Landlord Own?

Posted 12:50pm Sunday 12th March 2023 by Zak Rudin

“What Does My Landlord Own?” is a website that allows users to enter an address and see other properties tied to that owner. The website was launched early this year by an anonymous team known as “sunset_flowers” determined to “help address the vast inequalities present Read more...

Moaningful Confessions: The threesome that was never meant to be

Posted 2:43pm Sunday 5th March 2023 by Critic

  It started off as any good sexual encounter would: we had all been drinking for three days straight and were feeling somewhere between delirium and death. I had been talking to one co-worker named Jimmy (not his real name) and feeling a bit promiscuous. We had spent the last few days Read more...

Local Produce: Pedals Dunedin

Posted 2:38pm Sunday 5th March 2023 by Jamiema Lorimer

This week, Critic Te Ārohi caught up with our favourite biker gang: Pedals Dunedin. Pedals is Ōtepoti’s first and only bike courier service and easily the most friendly, in both the eco and literal sense. The Pedals team consists of Liam Harrison and Ashley Read more...

Chargrills: Thai Orange Chicken

Posted 2:30pm Sunday 5th March 2023 by Charly Burnett @chargrillss

Pissed about the price of prawns? Give this chicken a crack. If this recipe was a famous person it would be Jonah Hill on 21 Jump Street. We’re talking missionary. We're talking when I'm on top and she's on her back. Good staple to start off with, but couldn't do it every time. Read more...

Editorial: Hide yo bongs, hide yo wife

Posted 2:14pm Sunday 5th March 2023 by Fox Meyer

Bongs get stolen all the time. While this is objectively pretty funny, it highlights a particular problem created by the fact that weed is still illegal in this country. Set aside for a moment any problems you may have with the institution of law enforcement - a big ask, I know. But let’s Read more...

Booze Review: Billy Mav

Posted 2:08pm Sunday 5th March 2023 by Albert Einsteinlager

Behind every jovial flat party, every electric scooter thrown through a glass window, and every deck that spews DnB onto the street...is Billy Maverick. He is the lifeblood of North Dunedin. If the Leith were to ever dry up, it would be replaced with bourbon and cola. Billy Mavs come exclusively Read more...

Horoscopes: Week 2

Posted 1:51pm Sunday 5th March 2023 by Critic

Aquarius Jan 20 - Feb 18 It’s time to be more intentional with your relationships. Sometimes you have a tendency to space out and miss life’s important moments. Be sure to work on this, as you have plenty of love to give.  Bad habit to break: Read more...

In the Eye of the Beholders Dunedin Art Reviews

Posted 1:16pm Sunday 5th March 2023 by Fox Meyer

This column is supported by DPAG, but they have no influence on the reviews   Every week, we send two writers to an art exhibit in Ōtepoti Dunedin. One of them will choose a specific piece, and describe it to the other without them looking. They’ll try to figure out what the Read more...

Local Produce: [Allophones]

Posted 7:44pm Sunday 26th February 2023 by Jamiema Lorimer

The Allophones are Barney, Ben, and Tane. Barney and Ben are also siblings. “Allophones” are also a group of sounds that a certain combination of letters can make (linguistics students, please don’t come for me). You could also say an “allophone” is a singular member of Read more...

Horoscopes: Week 1

Posted 7:35pm Sunday 26th February 2023 by Critic

Aquarius Jan 20 - Feb 18 The stars are aligning for you! This year the universe is moving into Aquarius, you lucky ducks. Be prepared for some freaky shit to happen from March till June xx New Year’s Resolution: Make the most out of every moment.   Pisces Feb 19 - Mar Read more...

Editorial: I am once again asking for a student bar

Posted 6:53pm Sunday 26th February 2023 by Fox Meyer

This debate has been raging for a while, but let me get you up to speed. Dunedin lost its last student bar two years ago (RIP Starters). Previous bars had closed because they weren’t profitable or because they were bought out - sometimes by the Uni, sometimes not. Split hairs over that all you Read more...

Chargrills | Prawn rice noodle salad

Posted 6:35pm Sunday 26th February 2023 by Charly Burnett @chargrillss

This salad is out the gate and super shrimple. Mean option for a hot Dunners day and isn't heavy on the tummy. Crack in! INGREDIENTS: 300g prawns ($8.80 at Pakkies) Dried basil Mixed herbs Oil A packet of rice noodles A telegraph cuc 2 XL carrots One capsicum An Read more...

Booze Review | BRB Haze of our Lives

Posted 6:16pm Sunday 26th February 2023 by Albert Einsteinlager

The rumble of student shitboxes returning to Otago; freshers and breathers sinking piss hand over fist; littered streets strewn with eggshells. Nature is healing.   These scenes are nothing uncommon for the students of North D, as they gear up for their Flo and O Weeks. Fourteen days of Read more...

Moaningful Confessions | Tap and Gap ASAP

Posted 5:38pm Sunday 26th February 2023 by Critic

It was the Saturday of Re-O and, after a week of pouring rain and a lack of alcohol consumed, I knew tonight was the night I needed to send it. So, obviously the only way to do this was to down as many vodka shots as physically possible. I’m not going to lie, I truly did this to the best of my Read more...

Fresher Simulator: O-Week

Posted 5:26pm Sunday 26th February 2023 by Lotto Ramsay

1. Welcome (Start here) You’re a fresher (our condolences) arriving at Dunedin airport for the first time ever. You marvel at all the butt-fuck-nowhere around you. Off to collect your luggage! Where did you fly in from, again? A: Auckland (Go to 11) B: Somewhere else (Go to Read more...

Moaningful Confessions | Dick munter

Posted 8:18pm Sunday 9th October 2022 by Critic

Dunedin is great, but if the ‘Dunedin Experience’ involves, as he described it “the worst sex story I can think of” I’m not sure the wonderful student experience is worth it.    For context, I wasn’t sure we would have sex again after a couple weeks of Read more...

Horoscopes: Week 26

Posted 8:15pm Sunday 9th October 2022 by Critic

Aquarius Jan 20 - Feb 18 Forever young is good in theory, but some of us have to live with you. Take some responsibility for how you behave and watch good things come to you. Also, clean your kitchen. Put on your summer to-do list: Keep a list of every beach you Read more...

Booze Review | Budweiser is Unpatriotic

Posted 8:10pm Sunday 9th October 2022 by Chug Norris

Every country in the world has a national beer. Australia has VB, New Zealand has, for some fucking reason, Tui, and Budweiser is known first and foremost as the national beer of the trainwreck of a country that calls itself the United States. But something seems wrong about Budweiser representing Read more...

Mr. Worldwide

Posted 8:06pm Sunday 9th October 2022 by Mr. Worldwide

This week, we have an image supplied by Ben. We got last issue’s correct, Jeff was in Auckland, specifically Queens wharf, looking at that art place. First thoughts: It feels like this photo was taken in Aotearoa due to the trees but there’s also trains, so. We’ll Read more...

In the Eye of the Beholders | Dunedin Art Reviews

Posted 7:58pm Sunday 9th October 2022 by Esmond Paterson and Maddie Fenn

Callout: This column is supported by DPAG, but they have no influence on the reviews   Every week, we send two writers to an art exhibit in Ōtepoti Dunedin. One of them will choose a specific piece, and describe it to the other without them looking. They’ll try to figure out what Read more...

Editorial: It’s initiation season

Posted 6:21pm Sunday 9th October 2022 by Fox Meyer

I’ve been to two universities in the States, both of them had Greek life. Neither was as problematic as Dunedin’s initiation scene. Stop celebrating, that’s not a good thing.  One thing that you can celebrate (I guess) is that Kiwis would absolutely destroy American frat Read more...

Moaningful Confessions | Signal Hole

Posted 5:24pm Sunday 2nd October 2022 by Critic

My partner and I were both the first people in our respective flats to get Covid. Because of this, it meant that once we were done with our isolation and our flatmates got Covid, we didn’t have to isolate, so we were able to see each other after their iso had ended. Being able to see them was Read more...

Horoscopes: Week 25

Posted 5:22pm Sunday 2nd October 2022 by Critic

Aquarius Jan 20 - Feb 18 Should you go out tonight? Yes. Yes you should. Go and buy yourself an aviation cocktail and be sexy and mysterious somewhere. The stars say so. Movie you should revisit: Kill Bill Vol. I.   Pisces Feb 19 - Mar 20 Don’t settle for being Read more...

Booze Review | Pure Blonde tastes like giving up

Posted 5:17pm Sunday 2nd October 2022 by Chug Norris

Pure Blonde Ultra Low Carb Lager is the type of beer that you drink when you are tired of life. When the joy that you used to receive from simple things like a cold beer has faded into the monotony of the semi-alcoholism of suburban BBQ culture.  But there is also something deeper. You buy a Read more...

Skuxx Food | Rice Paper Dumplings

Posted 5:15pm Sunday 2nd October 2022 by Rosie Joyce @skuxxfood

Ideal for when you want something fried but also haven’t eaten a vegetable in a while.  Makes 5-6 (1-2 servings) Ingredients:  150 grams (ish) mushrooms, finely diced  3 cloves garlic, minced  1 thumb of ginger, finely grated  ⅛ green cabbage, finely Read more...

In the Eye of the Beholders | Dunedin Art Reviews

Posted 5:09pm Sunday 2nd October 2022 by Esmond Paterson and Maddie Fenn

This column is supported by DPAG, but they have no influence on the reviews Every week, we send two writers to an art exhibit in Ōtepoti Dunedin. One of them will choose a specific piece, and describe it to the other without them looking. They’ll try to figure out what the piece Read more...

Local Produce: BO And the Constrictors

Posted 5:05pm Sunday 2nd October 2022 by Jamiema Lorimer

If you’re a breatha and spend your Thursday through Saturday nights at Dunedin Social Club, then you’re probably already familiar with BO And the Constrictors, who describe their sound as “modern vintage pop rock.” Hot off the release of their EP ‘Love’, Critic Read more...

How American Gun Culture Suppressed the Greatest Rock Anthem of our Lifetimes

Posted 2:15pm Sunday 2nd October 2022 by Fox Meyer

But it wasn’t well received in the States. Lots of radio stations refused to play it, because there’s a line that says “her boyfriend’s a dick, he brings a gun to school”. It was released on the one year anniversary of the Columbine massacre, and people did not want to Read more...

Moaningful Confessions | Chemical Warfare

Posted 2:16pm Saturday 24th September 2022 by Critic

Being Dunedin’s premier gay, I started my night by browsing my way through Tinder's flawless feed. Dodging the constant barrage of poor attempts at sexual ice breakers, I came face to face with the most handsome breather one could ever set their eyes on. His beautiful, sharp, chiselled jaw Read more...

Horoscopes: Week 24

Posted 2:15pm Saturday 24th September 2022 by Critic

Aquarius Jan 20 - Feb 18 To all my Aquarius baddies, your love life is set to intensify so get ready! May your life be filled with love, lust and liquor.  Check off the to do list: Vote in local elections.    Pisces Feb 19 - Mar 20 Sometimes, people can make you Read more...

Booze Review | Country Medium White Wine is a most exquisite vintage

Posted 2:09pm Saturday 24th September 2022 by Chug Norris

Goon has a reputation as a low tier, last-resort type of potation. But while this scurrilous reputation may hold true for pretentious European attempts at goon (see Chasseur), the New Zealand-made Country Medium White Wine is a cardboardeaux that excels and excites in taste, mouthfeel and, most of Read more...

Skuxx Food | Lemonade

Posted 2:07pm Saturday 24th September 2022 by Rosie Joyce @skuxxfood

The ultimate dust buster. Easy enough to make with only one brain cell. If you didn’t already know how to make lemonade, well, now you do. Vodka optional. Ingredients:  Juice of 3 lemons ½ cup sugar  3 cups water  10 ice cubes  Method:  Add all Read more...

Mr. Worldwide

Posted 2:06pm Saturday 24th September 2022 by Mr. Worldwide

This week, we have an image supplied by Jeff. We got last week’s correct, Ellie was at Prospect Point, Vancouver.  First thoughts: Looks like this photo was taken next to a populous harbour judging by the cargo ship in the background, possibly New Zealand? Analysing the size, shape Read more...

In the Eye of the Beholders | Dunedin Art Reviews

Posted 1:59pm Saturday 24th September 2022 by Esmond Paterson and Maddie Fenn

This column is supported by DPAG, but they have no influence on the reviews Every week, we send two writers to an art exhibit in Ōtepoti Dunedin. One of them will choose a specific piece, and describe it to the other without them looking. They’ll try to figure out what the piece Read more...

It’s Our Fault

Posted 1:20pm Saturday 24th September 2022 by Fox Meyer

It’s fun writing about the Alpine Fault now because at some point in our lifetime it’s going to be all anyone is talking about. It feels like writing about the Christchurch earthquakes before they actually happened, or writing about how easy it would be to block the Suez Canal before the Read more...

Moaningful Confessions | Too spicy

Posted 9:17pm Sunday 18th September 2022 by Critic

So, we met on Tinder, as it goes. She was something pretty special, so after a few dates I decided to show off my skills in the kitchen with a candlelit dinner. I wanted to blow her (away) so I made the most creamy and decadent mushroom risotto a girl could ask for. I even got oyster mushrooms and Read more...

Horoscopes: Week 23

Posted 9:11pm Sunday 18th September 2022 by Critic

Aquarius Jan 20 - Feb 18 Aquarius, you should be proud of the progress you have made this year. Your journey of inner peace and comfort has been a great success, and you should give yourself a pat on the back for this.  Crime to investigate: Which flatmate stole your Read more...

The RTDs are coming for you and your loved ones

Posted 8:54pm Sunday 18th September 2022 by Chug Norris

Absolut Lime and Soda beats the record for the most generic RTD ever produced, but it is not alone. RTDs are multiplying at an alarming rate. Wine and beer now cower in the corners of liquor store fridges as piles of multi-coloured boxes with generic names like Grins, Larry, Dave, and Brins spread Read more...

Mr. Worldwide

Posted 8:47pm Sunday 18th September 2022 by Mr. Worldwide

This week, we have a photo sent to us by Ellie. We got last week’s correct, Fox was indeed in Bryant Park on the 4th of December, 2019, hitting P.K. Subban in the nuts with a hockey puck. Shot, Fox.  First thoughts: I see people, ships, a trail… Looks like Seattle or Read more...

In the Eye of the Beholders | Dunedin Art Reviews

Posted 8:42pm Sunday 18th September 2022 by Esmond Paterson and Maddie Fenn

This column is supported by DPAG, but they have no influence on the reviews Every week, we send two writers to an art exhibit in Ōtepoti Dunedin. One of them will choose a specific piece, and describe it to the other without them looking. They’ll try to figure out what the piece Read more...

Oh no please don’t stage a coup haha

Posted 7:20pm Sunday 18th September 2022 by Fox Meyer

Student politics are woefully exploitable. This week, there were meant to be six pages of profiles for the upcoming OUSA election, but they were cancelled literally the day before print because nobody had signed up to run for the positions. Yikes. That meant we had to fill six pages of content, Read more...

Moaningful Confessions | Tree hugger, butt fugger

Posted 7:14pm Sunday 11th September 2022 by Critic

To preface, none of this was actually *meant* to happen, but here goes.  So, this friend of a friend added me on Snapchat. Nothing major. I thought it was just a friendly thing – he ended up asking me to hook him up with some herbs, and we talked about that for a bit. Fast forward to Read more...

Horoscopes: Week 22

Posted 7:11pm Sunday 11th September 2022 by Critic

Aquarius Jan 20 - Feb 18 You need to understand boundaries and really assess your importance in some people's lives. You tend to overstep and while you may mean well, it can come off as inappropriate to others.  Goal for the week: hitting all your steps.   Pisces Feb Read more...

Booze Review | Cody’s Bourbon and Cola is Criminally underrated.

Posted 7:01pm Sunday 11th September 2022 by Chug Norris

Cody’s has many negative associations, several of which are fair. As previous booze reviews have mentioned, it is the drink of choice of 12 year-olds at skate parks throughout the country. For many, the drink is reminiscent of alcohol-fueled injuries and social decay. But these prejudiced Read more...

Skuxx Food | Tandoori Chicken Flatbreads

Posted 6:57pm Sunday 11th September 2022 by Rosie Joyce @skuxxfood

If you miss the naanwich truck on campus, here’s something to fill that void.  Serves 5 (2 each) Ingredients:  10 flatbreads/naan/wraps  A few handfuls of baby spinach  A bunch of coriander to garnish, optional  Pickled onion:  1 red onion, thinly Read more...

Mr. Worldwide

Posted 6:54pm Sunday 11th September 2022 by Mr. Worldwide

This week, we have an image supplied by Fox. We got last week’s correct, Trish was in Lusthusportens park, Stockholm.  First thoughts: Clearly a populous city, maybe some sort of event taking place around Christmas. Looks quite American. It’s clearly Christmas, and Read more...

In the Eye of the Beholders | Dunedin Art Reviews

Posted 6:50pm Sunday 11th September 2022 by Esmond Paterson and Maddie Fenn

Callout: This column is supported by DPAG, but they have no influence on the reviews   Every week, we send two writers to an art exhibit in Ōtepoti Dunedin. One of them will choose a specific piece, and describe it to the other without them looking. They’ll try to figure out what Read more...

Editorial: Embracing Indigenous Knowledge is the only way to get ourselves out of this mess

Posted 5:23pm Sunday 11th September 2022 by Annabelle Parata Vaughan (Ngāi Tahu)

Over the past 20 years, Aotearoa has made a more conscious effort to embrace te reo, tikanga and mātauranga Māori. Other parts of Aotearoa have made a conscious effort to double down on their racism, and drag the rest of us down with them. We’ve seen a revitalisation in the use of Read more...