Horoscopes: Week 5

Horoscopes: Week 5

Aquarius

Jan 20 - Feb 18

My mama told me when I was young, we were all born superstars. She rolled my hair and put my lipstick on in the glass of her boudoir.

Queertivity of the week: Rock climbing.

 

Pisces

Feb 19 - Mar 20

"There's nothing wrong with loving who you are" she said, "'Cause He made you perfect, babe.’”

Queertivity of the week: Being a Valentina Ally. 

Aries

Mar 21 - Apr 19

So hold your head up, girl, and you'll go far,” listen to me when I say.

Queertivity of the week: Serving cunt. 

 

Taurus

Apr 20 - May 20

I'm beautiful in my way 'cause God makes no mistakes, I'm on the right track, baby, I was born this way.

Queertivity of the week: Attending a gender studies lecture.

 

Gemini

May 21 - Jun 20

Don't hide yourself in regret, just love yourself, and you're set, I'm on the right track, baby, I was born this way (born this way).

Queertivity of the week: Having a dance off in the Suburbia basement 

 

Cancer

Jun 21 - July 22

Ooh, there ain't no other way, baby, I was born this way. Baby, I was born this way.

Queertivity of the week: Getting therapy. 

 

Leo

July - Aug 22

Don't be a drag, just be a queen.

Queertivity of the week: Reading the Communist Manifesto. .  

 

 

Virgo

Aug 23 - Sep 22

Give yourself prudence and love your friends. Subway kid, rejoice your truth. In the religion of the insecure, I must be myself, respect my youth.

Queertivity of the week: Stick n poke tattoos

 

 

Libra

Sep 23 - Oct 22

A different lover is not a sin, believe capital H-I-M, I love my life, I love this record, and, Mi amore vole fe, yah (same DNA).

Queertivity of the week: Making your own iced oat milks lattes. 

 

Scorpio

Oct 23 - Nov 21

Ooh, there ain't no other way, baby, I was born this way. Baby, I was born this way (born this way). 

Queertivity of the week: Shopping for new crystals. 

 

Sagittarius

Nov 22 - Dec 21

Don't be a drag, just be a queen, whether you're broke or evergreen. You're Black, white, beige, chola descent, you're Lebanese, you're Orient.'

Queertivity of the week: Bingeing Rupaul's Drag Race. 

 

Capricorn

Dec 22 - Jan 19

Whether life's disabilities left you outcast, bullied, or teased, rejoice and love yourself today, cause, baby, you were born this way.

Queertivity of the week: Giving yourself a nice new mani-pedi.

This article first appeared in Issue 5, 2023.
Posted 4:21pm Sunday 26th March 2023 by Critic.