Archive
You are here: An investigation into the tangled web of the queer Dunedin dating scene
Posted 5:56pm Sunday 25th May 2025 by Via Hooks
Having been in ostensibly queer friend groups basically since arriving in Dunedin, I’ve observed that all of my friends (myself included) are, indeed, dating each other. But can I back this up with data? Yes. My proposed hypothesis is the “Queer event horizon” - that Read more...
The Jorts and Jafas of Bisexuality
Posted 5:39pm Sunday 25th May 2025 by Stella Weston
Jokes about Doc-wearing, threesome-having bisexual femmes are as low hanging as ragging on breathas for the mullet-moustache combo. While the copy and paste breatha look at festivals means some stereotypes often have a basis in truth, stereotypes can also be exaggerated or distorted in ways that can Read more...
criticHow To Be An Ally
Posted 4:59pm Sunday 25th May 2025 by Zoe Eckhoff
There are many ways in which we can become better people in this society. Dunedin is an ever-expanding, diverse, and lively city full of all colours of the rainbow. Maybe you don’t think you’re one of those guys. Maybe when you're at a flat party and see a queer couple you only stare Read more...
Queer Mess?
Posted 4:55pm Sunday 25th May 2025 by Madeline O’Leary
It's a bit of a running joke within my circle that my sexuality announces itself before I do. My friends often tease about how they can hear me coming before they see me. The jangle of keys on my carabiner is like a rumble of dyke thunder before lightning strikes. Pair this with my eyebrow Read more...
OUSA President Liam White Caught With His Pants Down?
Posted 11:04pm Sunday 18th May 2025 by Molly Smith-Soppet
There are some things we have come to expect from our OUSA presidents. Campaining on the promise of a student bar, not delivering a student bar. That's about it honestly. What we did not expect however... was this. Sources (one suspicious email with a portfolio of equally suspicious Read more...
Red Flag Roundup
Posted 10:57pm Sunday 18th May 2025 by Critic Staff
I once had a guy ask me – completely deadpan – if the reason I didn’t want to date him anymore was because my parents didn’t love me enough as a child. No joke. That was his closer. And to be fair, it did close things. Safe to say, the almost-relationship ended right there, Read more...
Overheard Ōtepoti
Posted 10:12pm Sunday 18th May 2025 by Critic Staff
Amnesty Youth members in a Law lecture AYO member 1: “Do you think $20 for a joint is reasonable?” AYO member 2: “Yeah, I mean it sounds reasonable. It depends how big the joint is – they can get you really fucked up.” AYO member 1: “Yeah, I’ve never Read more...
We Made A Fanpage for Daniel Leamy
Posted 10:04pm Sunday 18th May 2025 by Molly Smith-Soppet
With the Tabloid Issue approaching and pitches running somewhat dry, two of Critic Te Ārohi’s most chaotic staff (us) turned to what we do best: shit-stirring. One of us writes horoscopes and the other wrote the love story of the century (Critic Bachelor). Between us, we knew exactly how Read more...
The Legacy of Martin Phillipps
Posted 3:50pm Sunday 11th May 2025 by Jordan Irvine
.column { float: left; width: 33.33%; } /* Clear floats after the columns */ .row:after { content: ""; display: table; clear: both; } “The Dunedin Sound is the sound of honesty” - Martin Phillipps It’s hard not to write about the Dunedin Sound without Read more...
Sound and Vision: Capturing Dunedin’s Music Scene
Posted 3:17pm Sunday 11th May 2025 by Ellie Bennett
Sweaty, a bit drunk, and surrounded by people who look about twice my height and half my age, I’ve got a headache and my ears are buzzing. My shoes squeak every time I try to unstick them from the floor. I can just about make out the features of the lead singer but the drummer blends into the Read more...
An Inside Look at the Six60 Scholarship: Is it sick-60?
Posted 2:35pm Sunday 11th May 2025 by Zoe Eckhoff
6 and 60. Perhaps not everyone's two favourite set of numbers, but nevertheless, undeniably iconic to anyone from Aotearoa who didn’t forget their roots. It’s generally known that this band name came from the flat on Castle Street that the four members started off in (you’ll Read more...
Ranking what native New Zealand birds I could beat in a fight if I were also a bird?
Posted 10:05pm Sunday 4th May 2025 by Jordan Irvine
Evolution has not been kind to the native birds of Aotearoa. Some are small, some flightless, and all pretty vulnerable to introduced pests. To put it lightly, they don’t stand a chance against predators. You know that, I know that. My question is, do they stand a chance against me, Read more...
Critic Wuz Here: There’s a phone number inscribed on your desk and I called it.
Posted 9:44pm Sunday 4th May 2025 by Jordan Irvine
One of God’s greatest gifts is the cell phone because doing this gimmick in a time of payphones would have set me back a lot in coins (where the fuck do you even get coins from now?). As a child I did not focus in class and paid more attention to the writings forever engraved onto the desks at Read more...
Fuck it: Rice Ball Sports
Posted 9:17pm Sunday 4th May 2025 by Connor Moffat
Rice balls have always been a lunch staple on campus, and they’re just as versatile as they are iconic. Whether it’s a cheap sit down meal, a snack between lectures, or a surprise dinner after leaving one in your bag all day, rice balls can do it all. Or can they? In a never-before-seen Read more...
The True Cost of Ethical Consumption: A Trial R
Posted 10:17pm Sunday 27th April 2025 by Adam Stitely
Inspired by a rewatch of Food, Inc. (2009), the god-given right to shit on Nestlé, and an attempt to offset years of Fatty Lane-sponsored staff meals, Critic Te Ārohi spent five days living as an Ethical Consumer – cutting out anything even vaguely unethically sourced. Despite our Read more...
Locally Produced David Attenboroughs: A Guide
Posted 10:06pm Sunday 27th April 2025 by Jodie Evans
Looking for your next Attenborough fix but want something local? Check out the babies of Otago Science Communication grads and alumni. With a cheeky behind-the-scenes “brought to you by” to let you in on the highs and lows of bringing science to the people. If Nina’s editorial is a Read more...
ANIMALS?!?!?!? How to have pets as a student. Kind of.
Posted 9:14pm Sunday 27th April 2025 by Tilly Rumball-Smith
Kiwis own more pets per household than almost anyone else in the world, so it comes as a bit of a culture shock to leave that behind for studenthood. Many of us grew up with household pets who, unfortunately, remained in the household when we moved out. Without us realising, our final year of high Read more...
Life Lessons from my Dead Pet Snail
Posted 9:12pm Sunday 27th April 2025 by Lotto Ramsay
This is a story about one Snegma “Sneg” Ramsay (Snegory to my parents). Once a snail fell from the sky and it taught me about love. “Fell from the sky” is a fanciful way of saying that I dropped him by mistake when I found him in my kitchen sink. I thought that he Read more...
Backyard Ecology: A Semi-Scientific Journey into the World of Moss
Posted 9:06pm Sunday 27th April 2025 by Isabella Simoni
Bryology: The study of mosses and liverworts Did you know that camels have three testicles? Well, if you did, you’d be wrong – and anyway, this article is about moss. That green stuff that grows on trees, rocks, and those trolls from Frozen. The stuff that goes unnoticed most of the Read more...
Flat Authoritarianism
Posted 11:43pm Sunday 13th April 2025 by Ellie Bennett
Flatting is a delicate balance of personalities, habits, and passive aggressiveness. For the first time, you get to experience life free from the watchful eye of parents or RAs – and that usually means 2-minute noodles for every second meal, putting off your washing to the last minute, and, Read more...
The Castle Street Baby
Posted 11:33pm Sunday 13th April 2025 by Tilly Rumball-Smith
CW: Violence Critic Te Ārohi gave a (fake) baby to a five man Castle Street flat to take care of from Thursday to Sunday. There were only three rules: Don’t lose the baby. You must bring the baby with you everywhere. You must keep a diary of your adventures Read more...
The Great Cone Game
Posted 10:40pm Sunday 13th April 2025 by Connor Moffat
You may have heard of the Chicken Chase, a daring drinking game involving a horde of bros and baes drinking their way along the rainbow (pubs) to find the pot of gold (a mate dressed as a chicken in an undisclosed pub, drinking their way through a collective tab). Critic Te Ārohi played our own Read more...
Tell Us How You Really Feel: 100 Years of Hate Mail
Posted 10:25pm Sunday 6th April 2025 by Critic
Critic’s had haters in our inbox right from day dot. Within the first few issues in 1925 there were letters predicting Critic’s downfall. Now in our 100th year, let’s have a toast for the douchebags, assholes, scumbags and jerk-offs who’ve penned objectively hilarious and Read more...
Te Ārohi: A “Critic” in Name Only
Posted 10:05pm Sunday 6th April 2025 by Nā Heeni Koero Te Rerenoa (Sky)
This piece was pitched as ‘100 years of Critic’s Māori coverage’. That would’ve been disingenuous. It’s not a centenary for all of us, because for most of that time, we weren’t here. One hundred years of Critic, and only twenty-nine of Te Ārohi. Read more...
40 Ways Critic is the Worst Student Magazine in the World
Posted 9:40pm Sunday 6th April 2025 by Critic
40 Ways was Critic’s weekly listicle, popular in the early 2000s and maybe even the 1990s – the halcyon days when men were men, women were women, men were also women, women were also gender constructs, and introductory blurbs were worth reading. Critic is the school lunch programme Read more...
Opinion: Chlöe Swarbrick is still a politician
Posted 10:40pm Sunday 23rd March 2025 by Jordan Irvine
As a child, my parents were Labour voters and to me that seemed like the moral choice. John Key’s National government at the time did not have their best interests at heart as they prioritised wealth over wellbeing. New Zealand First, headed at the time by an old Winston Peters, appealed more Read more...
Which Academically Overwhelmed Rat Are You?
Posted 9:35pm Sunday 23rd March 2025 by Molly Smith-Soppet
1. You've rolled out of bed and stumbled to the kitchen. What are you having for the most important meal of the day? Porridge. It’s filling, homely, and makes you feel like one of the grandparents from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory It's pretty much lunch time, so may as Read more...
Tall Etiquette: Reaching new heights in allyship at concerts
Posted 9:30pm Sunday 23rd March 2025 by Jonathan McCabe
If you’ve attended Electric Ave, Six60 or one of the first few Pint Nights, you would have noticed some pretty appalling crowd etiquette. You don’t need to part a friend group like the Red Sea to get to the front. In a mosh situation, tall people must act very carefully. Sometimes you Read more...
Lecture Theatre Bingo
Posted 9:25pm Sunday 23rd March 2025 by Zoe Eckhoff
Lectures can be fucking boring. This could be because you’re doing a degree you hate, your lecturer has the worst voice in the world or says “um” too much. Or it could just be a ceebs that day. Critic Te Ārohi has now invented a solution for when you have run out of Cool Maths Read more...
$40, 14 Arcade Games, Weeded-Up
Posted 5:46pm Sunday 16th March 2025 by Zoe Eckhoff
Dolphins get high off pufferfish and wallabies ransack opium from the poppy fields. So what did we do? We tapped into our innate animalistic tendencies and got high to play arcade games. Sober or no, the arcade is an iconic spot. For the purposes of this article and accurate retelling, Read more...
Withdrawing from Yourself
Posted 4:58pm Sunday 16th March 2025 by Jordan Irvine
Content warning: Mentions of suicidal thoughts I have been taking antidepressants for nearly five years now, and though they’re infamous for their side effects there is just one thing I can’t get over. Weirdly enough, I’ve made my peace with the weight gain, mood swings and Read more...
Weird Cones 2: Electric Bongaloo
Posted 4:52pm Sunday 16th March 2025 by Critic Staff
The idea of doing a sequel to one of our favourite articles ever, ‘I tried to rip bongs through household ingredients’, has been floating around the writers’ room for years now like a cloud of questionable smoke. The original included bongs of raw eggs, sardines, and instant Read more...
Reviewing Literal Shitholes: The Best Places to Shit on Campus
Posted 11:52pm Sunday 9th March 2025 by Gryffin Blockley
Stomach churning, palms sweating, panic creeping in. You’re sitting in a lecture, when suddenly *that* feeling hits. Guaranteed to get you down in the dumps for the rest of the day, it’s a fight that you know you can’t win: You have to take a shit on campus, outside the safety of Read more...
Whebruary Wrapped
Posted 11:47pm Sunday 9th March 2025 by Nā Heeni Koero Te Rerenoa (Sky)
While the world recovers from New Year’s sluggishness, Māoridom hits the ground running – protesting, performing, protecting, and proving that mana Māori is as relentless as ever. For Māori, February isn’t just the second month of the year; it’s a battleground, Read more...
The Call of The Wild: A Bush Doof Epic
Posted 11:00pm Sunday 9th March 2025 by Ella Grayson
I had always heard of bush doofs, and honestly, it sounded like some proper hippy shit. But when my name spawned in a mysterious meta server promoting an addy-to-be-confirmed neck-of-the-woods DNB-electro-psych doof to end all doofs, I knew something temptingly chaotic was on the horizon. My native Read more...
We Snuck Into Toga Party as 4th and 5th Years and Had The Best Night of Our Lives
Posted 8:28pm Sunday 2nd March 2025 by Abby Wallace
At a certain point of your university life, you stop feeling like a student and start feeling like an anthropologist observing student behaviour in the wild. The only time you set foot on Castle Street is to cut through to the Botans. The only people you recognise in Central are the librarians. You Read more...
The Critic Pie Review
Posted 8:14pm Sunday 2nd March 2025 by Adam Stitely
The pie. It’s simple, it’s working class. Like L&P and DIY, it’s in our DNA, and just like pavlova, Aussies just don't do it the same. The pie is the go-to meal from any petrol station, dairy or else any other place the marginally cooked food gives you a 50-50 chance of Read more...
Breatha’s Got Talent
Posted 7:46pm Sunday 2nd March 2025 by Bianca Prujean
There’s hardly anything more alluring than a free box on a night out. But nothing worthwhile comes easy. To earn such a coveted prize, members of the crowd gathered on Castle and Howe for Frat Night at Feisty Goat would have to prove that their talents lay beyond sinking piss. And they’d Read more...
The Green Solo Alternative
Posted 8:31pm Sunday 23rd February 2025 by Zoe Eckhoff
The Dunedin slander is something I’ve grown used to as one of the few Otago Uni students actually from here. I’m used to the complaints from outsiders and locals about this city and its apparent lack of interesting activities outside of getting pissed on Castle Street. With such a strong Read more...
Fresher Checklist
Posted 6:53pm Sunday 23rd February 2025 by Stella Weston
Meet a minimum of nine aspiring DJs (they’re actually the real deal – they played at Carousel) Trek to Night n’ Day viciously hungover and wearing pajamas, purchase a steak and cheese pie and a purple Powerade, realise you can, in fact, be observed in this state Beg a Read more...
As Good as Mould
Posted 11:22pm Monday 17th February 2025 by Jodie Evans
From flocks of seagulls to herds of freshers, beautiful North Dunedin boasts a variety of unique flora and fauna – the most abundant and furtive of which can be found in your very own flat. You guessed it: mould. Your white-toothed suit-wearing landlord only wants you to live amidst the most Read more...
Long Live the King: Critic Te Ārohi's Beer Pong Rules
Posted 11:20pm Monday 17th February 2025 by Fox Meyer
According to over 150 Critic readers, these are the definitive King’s Cup rules for Otago students: 2: You, with 93.6%. Nominate a drink. 3: Me, with 93.6%. You must drink. 4: Whores, with 61.8%. People identifying as female must Read more...
The Critic Te Ārohi Guide to Second Hand Stores
Posted 11:16pm Monday 17th February 2025 by Phoebe Lea
Whether you're a fellow thrifter fresh to Dunedin or a third-year who never leaves North D, this is the guide for you. Critic sent our bona-fide fashionista Phoebe to scour the streets, sift through the racks, and explore every nook and cranny to bring you the inside scoop on the best op shops Read more...
Firecracker Airfryer Edibles
Posted 11:14pm Monday 17th February 2025 by Critic
Firecrackers are a classic stoner treat, typically made with graham crackers and peanut butter. But due to the exodus of our American staff (good riddance) Critic does not know what graham crackers are – and does not wish to learn. Here they are with biscuits and nutella instead. The weed Read more...
How to know if you’re a breatha (and how you can come to accept it)
Posted 11:12pm Monday 17th February 2025 by Hugh Askerud
Part 1: Develop self-awareness 1 Oh, the breatha. The absolute epitome of what people think of when they think “student”. Like the scarfie of yesteryear, the breatha is everywhere: lurking in your lecture halls, downing Monsters in the library, sifting on your mates. You know Read more...
Outgoing Presidential Address
Posted 8:25pm Sunday 13th October 2024 by Keegan Wells
Tēnā koutou, Wow! What a year! We laughed, we cried, we paddled the flooded Leith, we got a new plinth, and had a lot of $4 lunch along the way. In one of my final acts of dictatorship, I am stealing these two pages of Critic Te Ārohi. I have lived many different Read more...
Choose Your Own Adventure: Exam Procrastination Edition
Posted 7:39pm Sunday 13th October 2024 by Nicky Patterson
1. The end of the year has rolled around once again and there’s nothing you’d rather be doing right now than studying for your 60% exam. But before you do, what’s the harm in just taking a little preemptive brain break? As you look around from your freshly obtained perch in Read more...
The Game of Life, But It’s Just Your Summer 24/25
Posted 6:28pm Sunday 13th October 2024 by Molly Smith-Soppet
Answer these questions and we’ll tell you what you will spend your summer doing. 1. What is the best Campus Shop pie? Mince & Cheese Steak & Cheese Butter Chicken Pepper Steak Veggie Korma Spinach & Feta Roll 2. What is your go-to music genre for Read more...
The Game of Love
Posted 7:29pm Sunday 6th October 2024 by Molly Smith-Soppet
Everything I Know About (Platonic) Love
Posted 7:16pm Sunday 6th October 2024 by Ellie Bennett
I came to university thinking I’d find The One. I was obsessed with the idea that I’d lock eyes with someone across the lecture theatre and be swept into this great, all-consuming romance; that I’d leave here after three years with not only a degree, but a soulmate. That’s Read more...
Previous Results Next Results 